[SOUND]
>> Do not be alarmed.
It is 1,800 hours.
Please place your youth in front of the learning screen.
>> Welcome back to The Remember Hour, children.
>> [APPLAUSE] >> Today,
we're going to talk about a crucial point in political
history, Gamergate.
>> [SOUND]
>> Aah.
>> Please do not punish me for my many transgressions.
Skinner's the one you want.
He eats double rations.
>> [LAUGH]
Got you Rash.
>> [LAUGH] >> You
mistook a shadow of the drill for the drill itself, stupid.
[SOUND]
[MUSIC]
>> It's Remember Hour, >> There is an important lesson
here children, never confuse the Promise of something, or
the thing Itself, we call that,
[NOISE] the VAPORWARE.
>> Yes.
Vaporware.
The promise of something great.
That never comes to fruition.
>> Aw. >> Like hope or
the Nokia N-Gage.
>> Who wants to learn about other examples of lies and
vaporware?
>> Yeah!
>> Behold, the phantom console.
The phantom promised to provide everything from direct
download capabilities, future proof technology,
and your father's respect.
>> Yeah.
>> But it was not to be, the phantom was never released.
>> The resulting anger directly led to the North Korean
Civil War, which led to the North Korean Renaissance.
>> Ooh! >> Then
there was the three Half Lives.
>> Yeah! >> The final chapter
in the sacred epic of Gordon Free Man.
>> We await your return, Gordon!
>> Yeah!
>> To lift us to the heavens with your gravity powers.
>> Yay! >> As consolation,
we have the Gaben's brain preserved.
>> Yeah!
>> [APPLAUSE]
>> You're going to get that story done some day,
Great Gaben.
Bye bye! >> Bye!
>> FInally, there was virtual boy.
>> Ooh!
>> A tiny child,
promised complete transportation to another world!
>> Ooh! >> All it provided was
burnt out eye
>> [SOUND]
You hear that, Skip?
Someone's attempting to pass the final veil.
>> Yay! >> Which is, coincidentally,
the ultimate test of truth versus vaporware.
>> Let's head over to the Hall of Heroes to check it out.
But first kids, here's a very important message.
>> Hey kid, you want to bring honor to your family?
Do you know the difference between truth and vaporware?
Then you should attempt the passing of the veils.
[SOUND] Those who successfully
pass the veils become an inquisitor of the drill.
The living servant to the drill's divine will.
Teach obedience.
[LAUGH]
Eat something besides poisonous fungus.
Finally be allowed to sleep.
Ask your overseer about how to test today.
This message has been approved by Jonathan Drill.
[SOUND]
>> Welcome back to the Hall of Heroes children.
>> Heroes.
[MUSIC]
>> Can I interest you in a preorder?
>> No thank you.
Maybe next time.
>> Rise.
You are about to witness Dweller 42 attempt to
enter the final veil.
>> Yay!
>> Before that I want to see what you'll give me for
these artifacts?
>> Are you serious?
>> Yeah. >> Let's see.
I can do four drill bucks.
>> Four drill bucks.
Are you kidding me?
Those are mints.
>> Seven for store credit.
>> Don't do it! >> Damn it,
I'll take the store credit.
>> No! >> They always take store credit
eventually.
>> [SOUND] >> Now it is time for
Dweller 42 to enter the final veil.
>> The veil!
>> And see if they can decipher what is truth and
what is vaporware.
>> I just want to go to sleep.
>> Question one, Duke Nukem forever, truth or ware?
Answer the question dweller.
>> Duke Nukem forever was released.
Truth.
>> Released in name only.
The spirit of the saga was destroyed in one
artless money grab.
We've erased it from the archives.
>> No rush.
She's going casual on us.
>> Question number two.
Sega CD, truth or vaporware?
>> God I'm so tired.
I'm so hungry.
[SOUND]
[SOUND]
vaporware?
>> Correct Sega CD was woefully under supported but sewer shark
was an incredibly accurate prediction of our future.
Not so fast.
The final question will determine your fate.
>> I beg you just let me pass.
I have no place else to go.
>> Final question.
>> Star citizen, truth or vaporware?
>> One, zero!
>> I'm sorry dweller 42, but much like fans initially
interested in star citizen, you're just out of time.
>> No, please I don't want to go.
>> I hereby banish you to the surface, have fun.
>> No, please, you can do something right.
>> No, no, please no!
Aah! >> [SOUND]
>> Have fun. >> And remember kiddos,
the drill is the only truth.
>> Yea! >> Everything else is vaporware.
>> See you next time on the Remember Hour!
[SOUND]
>> So, hi shift manager.
Do you know how we prevent the show from becoming vaporware?
>> Well it's not up to us, it's up to the kids.
If they don't push the subscribe button then we'll become extinct
just like the rest of the human race.
>> Press it, press it, please?
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