- Hi. (clears throat)
I'm legally obligated to tell you that this video
is sponsored by the Baldo Company,
who will send a bald man to your house
to spend time with you, stare at you while you sleep,
and overall be bald around you.
Okay, thanks.
You should be thankful that service doesn't exist,
but that doesn't mean that there aren't
equally weird services available right now
that anyone, including you, can book.
That's right, some people have come up with services
that you never knew were available or even possible,
but unbelievably they are,
and some of them make the Baldo look normal.
So, today, I'm going to tell you
exactly what these services are.
You might wanna prepare yourself.
So, without further ado,
here are 10 Weird Services You Can Buy Right Now.
Number one are breakup services.
Unfortunately, some relationships just don't work out.
What's even more unfortunate is that some couples
stay together well beyond when the happiness ends.
(sighs) So sad.
But why do people do that?
Well, because they're afraid of breaking up with the person.
Well, hey, there's a service for that!
BreakupShop.com specializes in
breaking up with a person for you.
Depending on exactly what you want to do
and how serious the breakup is,
you can actually hire a professional
to break the bad news to someone
that their love life is over.
Prices vary from $10 for a text or an e-mail,
$30 for a descriptive phone call
listing the reasons that things just aren't working out,
or if you really wanna go all out,
$80 for a whole breakup gift pack.
Premium options are also available
for in-person message delivery, over dinner or even by song.
Classy.
Number two are weddings-on-the-go.
Hey, not all relationships need such a ridiculous ending.
Many work out and the couple end up tying the knot.
(groans) But weddings are so extremely expensive,
stressful, not to mention time-consuming.
If only there was another way.
Well, that's where weddings-on-the-go comes in.
For the couple who really doesn't give a crap
about inviting their family and friends
and wants to get married on the spot,
'cause that always turns out great, these guys are for you!
Ready whenever you are, they offer a pop-up wedding
wherever and whenever you need one for around $100,
and you get quite a bit for it.
You have a nice van pull up, complete with a ceremony
and an officiant, a witness, a photographer, a DJ,
and even a complete mobile chapel, right out of the van.
Imagine the best day of your life
spent behind a gas station.
Love is in the air.
Number three is cursing someone.
Is there someone in your life that you just can't stand?
Someone who's mean or heartless
or totally deserves misfortune?
If so, curse them.
That's right, there are companies, covens,
and even individuals out there who offer to cast a curse
or other black magic spell on a person for a fee.
Many options are available, from a sudden minor food allergy
to an itch that just won't go away, to full-on amnesia.
Some even offer shorter lifespans if the price is right
or the reason behind it is strong enough.
Packages start from $13 for a basic curse,
whatever that means, up to $125 for a premium curse.
What a steal!
You might think such a service is hard to find,
but you'd be wrong.
These are readily available online.
So, go ahead, think about it: Who do you want to be cursed?
(laughs) (dramatic music)
Please not me, I love you.
Number four is tattoo advertising.
Whew, it's tough times out there, my friends,
and we could all use a little extra cash, am I right?
Well, if you need money fast, sling crack, bro!
Or don't, that's illegal.
Instead, permanently ink your body
to help sell other people's products.
Why not try getting an online casino's logo
tattooed right on your face?
That's right, not only are some companies
actually offering this,
but people themselves are offering to do this,
charging hundreds to thousands of dollars
to have an artist permanently make them a walking billboard.
This is actually a trend called forehead billboards
and began in January of 2005 when Green Pharmaceuticals
paid a man named Andrew Fischer $37,375
to tattoo an ad for a product
called SnoreStop on his forehead.
(laughs) Yo, if you want forehead real estate,
hit me up, son!
I got all kinds of space!
Number five is personal paparazzi.
If you've ever wondered what it looks like
to be super famous and constantly hounded by the paparazzi,
then we found the perfect service for you!
A company called Methodizaz, or the Personal Paparazzi,
is a New York-based photography company
that offers temporary fame.
A bunch of professional photographers
will actually follow you around all day, everywhere you go,
taking photos of everything that you do in your day.
They will literally take a copy of your schedule,
hide out in bushes and at locations that you shop at,
snapping shots of you just living your life.
You, the customer, are completely unaware
of the exact moment that you're being photographed.
And at the end of the day, you get to find out
exactly what you look like in public
at all times in every situation.
That's not creepy!
Number six is the anonymous cologne delivery.
Hey man, you smell like burnt hair wrapped in a used diaper.
Everyone has one of those friends,
the kind who desperately need to practice
better personal hygiene and often smells unfresh.
Well, thanks to MyFriendSmells.com,
you never need to approach your friends about this again.
They will send that one special friend
who smells like they just bathed in onion juice
cologne wipes.
And best of all, the whole thing is anonymous,
so there's no awkward talk required.
You can send one wipe for $2 or,
if their scent brings a tear to your eye, four for $5,
all without your friend ever knowing who sent them.
You never have to embarrass yourself
and your friend will get the hint
that their personal hygiene
rivals that of the local pig farm.
Number seven is human furniture.
All right, before anyone goes thinking
I'm about to sell my refurbished human skin lamp,
that's something completely different.
(clears throat) No, human furniture is much more literal.
You can hire living, breathing human beings
to come to your house for a party, event,
or even if you're just bored, and become furniture.
These services actually started as a form of BDSM,
an act of sexual dominance called forniphilia.
However, it evolved, and since then,
human services can now be ordered just for the art of it.
They feature fully-clothed let's call them actors
standing in for an end table, lamp, pillow, or even chair.
Wait, do fridges count as furniture?
Wow, I just realized I do not wanna know
how that would work.
Anyway, moving on.
Number eight is the last meal delivery.
This one's for those of you
that are both hungry and morbidly curious,
which I'm hoping isn't very many of you.
Paul Kneale, a local artist in Toronto, Ontario,
offers a meal experience like no other.
You select a famous death row inmate,
and whatever foods that they selected as their last meal
is delivered to your home.
How lovely!
For $20, which happens to be
approximately what the state pays for each meal
that was actually provided to the inmates,
you can eat like the crazies.
Customers are not allowed to make alterations to the meal.
They pick an inmate and they get what they get.
Paul Kneale calls this art, not a happy dinner.
I call it a buffet of nope with a side of mm-mm.
Number nine is rent-a-friend.
Some people have a hard time making friends.
It's just, it's tough.
And maybe they work a lot
and they spend most of their time at home.
But luckily, somebody has solved that problem.
There are people out there
that are willing to be friends with anyone for a price.
Services like Rentafriend.com provide real people
to hang out with you as a friend for a night, a weekend,
or, if you're really lonely,
you can get a friend subscription
to have someone hang out with you once a week.
Professional friends will laugh at your jokes,
listen to your stories, and even pretend that they like
that weird thing that you're always talking about, mm-hmm.
And believe it or not, some of them are actually free.
Okay, let's get real for a moment.
If you need this service, I feel for you, bro.
But inviting people over that you don't know
from the internet is a surefire way
to actually become a piece of human furniture,
and everyone can use an extra skin lamp. (hisses)
And number 10 is cuddling.
Are you feeling lonely or just hate sleeping alone?
Or maybe you're just a big fan of the horizontal hug.
If so, this service is for you.
Based on the idea that people need affection
and warmth of other human beings,
that's exactly what cuddling services
like the Cuddle Party and the Cuddlery provide.
A real person will come over,
lay or sit with you, and hold you.
And some of these companies will actually give you a pick
of being big spoon or little spoon,
sleeping or non-sleeping, age, gender,
and the list just goes on.
But no matter what you pick,
high-quality cuddles are guaranteed.
Seriously, it says that on their website.
So, those were 10 really weird services
that you can book right now.
And if you use any of these, please reevaluate your life.
Thank you guys for watching.
Remember to subscribe to my channel
because I release new videos
Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays.
If you want to watch more, you can press or click
either of the two video thumbnails
that you see on your screen right now,
and don't forget to check out my second channel.
The link to that is in the description,
along with all the other important links.
And I will see you on Saturday.
Bye!
(screams)
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