>> Chapter 13 is the psychosocial development.
And once again, we're talking about middle childhood,
so we're talking about from 7 to around 11 years of age.
And remember, these are the school years.
So this chapter is about the nature of child, families
and children, the peer group, and children's moral codes,
how they set up with each other.
So when it comes to this stage, remember we've been saying
that they are increasingly able to regulate themselves
in terms of their emotions.
They're able to take responsibility,
exercise self-control, and all of that contributes
to a sense of autonomy.
So these are all strengths that will make it a time
for hopefully positive growth.
So they should be able to dress themselves, feed themselves,
make their own dinner,
pack their own suitcases, walk to school.
You know, they're becoming much more independent.
So Erikson said that this is the stage of industry
versus inferiority, where children at this stage tend
to judge themselves as either industrious or inferior.
So he believed that children, if they are industrious,
they see themselves as competent,
where if they see themselves as inferior,
then they see themselves as incompetent.
So when it comes to the nature of the child, they should be,
hopefully, intrinsically motivated,
where they can read a page, complete a worksheet,
memorize spelling words.
And they should be able to master many skills like reading,
math, you know, fishing, weaving, depending on what kind
of culture they come from.
So hopefully they are intrinsically motivated
to experience joy and to find things
that make them happy and fulfilled.
And hopefully they are able to regulate their self-control,
which is really important
for mastering emotional kind of problems.
This stage, also kids start collecting
and categorizing items.
So some of you might remember that they might collect rocks,
or shells, or baseball cards, or Pokemon cards, or Pogs,
or Beanie Babies, or you know, whatever.
Some of you might remember some of those things
when you were younger.
It's also the stage where they spend many hours rehearsing
their math skills, reading books, and just doing homework.
So these kinds of activities may seem boring,
but they're actually a healthy part of childhood
that helps them develop their sense of industry.
So one more time, I'm going to bash on TV,
because if all they're doing is watching computers or TV,
then when are they able to collect, and categorize,
and actually start developing these kinds of skills?
See, when you're watching TV,
what you're doing is the TV is thinking for the kid.
They aren't actually thinking, themselves.
So when the kids are feeling inferior,
they are usually ashamed of what they cannot do.
And they might even, you know, think that nobody likes them,
or that it's not fair that they're always being picked on.
But inferiority means self-doubt.
So according to Erikson, self-doubt is generated
because of the kids feeling inferior.
And it's just hard on them when they feel like they aren't able
to make what other kids make,
or understand what other kids understand.
Freud said that when it comes to latency,
that that's the emotional sex drive that's actually quiet,
it's hidden.
And he says that the psychosexual needs
are suppressed.
And he also says that kids, hopefully at this age,
are busy acquiring cognitive skills
and assimilating cultural values and not really worried
about the opposite sex or the same sex.
So some of you might remember being kids, chasing around boys
or girls, like, with cootie spray or, you know,
just telling them that they're stupid and that they smell.
Or, you know, some sort of elementary school kid kind
of silliness out on the playground.
So, and according to Freud, he said this is the quiet time
when it comes to sexual development.
That makes it easier for children to master new skills
and cultural values and not worry
about being boy-crazy or girl-crazy.
And that certainly does take over when kids hit adolescence.
Regarding self-concept, remember,
self-concept is how children think about themselves,
so it's their idea about themselves.
So they could have their own self-concept based
on their intelligence or personality, or abilities,
their own gender, or ethnic background.
It's how they feel about themselves.
But then what happens is they start doing what's called
social comparison.
And social comparison is where they start
to compare themselves to other kids.
So this is, because they're doing more social comparison,
what can happen is, during the school age years,
their self-concept or self-esteem starts to decrease.
So when kids are in the preoperational stage,
when they're egocentric,
what that means is it's all about them.
So as they start becoming more aware of how others think
and feel, then what also ends
up happening is their self-esteem goes
down a little bit, because they're not quite
as sure of themselves.
They're not as egocentric, which means they're more open
to how other people do things, and then, therefore,
we take a little hit
on our self-concept and our self-esteem.
When self-esteem crashes and burns, is when kids hit, like,
middle school, like right around 13 years of age.
All of a sudden, it's very important what other people are
doing, what other people think, and that is the key time
where you sort of peak in terms of social comparison,
wondering if you're the same as everyone else.
And this can change as children go through these years.
You know, in third grade, you might have felt
like you were more incompetent and then maybe fifth grade,
maybe you felt better about yourself.
So it kind of has its ebb and flow,
but it definitely is the time where, you know,
it's where they are learning how they affect other people.
So if a child gets angry when the teacher or his friend try
to offer him constructive criticism,
and he's extremely impulsive and lacking self-control,
then what that means is he's unable
to regulate what's called effortful control.
So effortful control is where you regulate your emotions
and actions through your efforts.
And as we get older, we start realizing
that we can put ourselves in situations
that help us regulate our emotions or hurt us.
So, like, I don't want to go to a movie if it's
about a kidnapping, because all it does is upset me.
Or I don't want to, like, see a movie about a rape.
I just don't like that stuff, so I'm not going to see that.
And then just taking precautions about not putting myself
in a situation where I emotionally regulate,
then that helps.
So, like, I remember when I was 17, I watched the movie,
"The Exorcist," and I don't like, now, possession movies.
And so I'm not going to see something like that.
I'm just not even going to go there, because I don't like it.
So younger kids don't necessarily know what's their
trigger, or what kinds of things that they don't care for,
that they hate, and so, therefore,
they might put themselves in positions.
When we're older, you know what?
We can say I'm not going to that party,
because that dude is there, and he annoys me,
and why should I even bother?
But, you know, when you're younger,
you don't necessarily have those kinds of skills.
So, like I said, during childhood,
our self-concept takes a little bit of a decrease,
it takes a little bit of a hit, but it crashes and burns
after 12 years of age into adolescence.
And in our preschool years,
our self-concept is the highest it's ever going to be.
I want to talk with you about resilience and stress.
So a resilient person is someone who adapts really well
to adversity and overcomes a serious stress.
And that is really, really healthy.
And, you know, there are some people, like,
I think of Maya Angelou, she wrote the book,
"Why the Caged Bird Sings."
And what she has endured over her life
and then has now become, what I believe is, a national treasure.
Where she's a poet and a celebrated author,
and just a really, really wise woman.
She grew up in the South with abject poverty,
abandonment by her parents, and just absolute egregious racism.
And how did she end up so happy and successful?
And it's because of what she has, is resilience.
So you might have a sibling in your family.
Where you're very successful, you're attending college,
and you've got someone in your family that's not
very successful.
And yet they have the same parents, same upbringing.
You know, why is one of you resilient, and the next person,
you know, may be ready to be a serial killer.
What's the difference?
So what resilience is is that ability to adapt to adversity
and overcome serious stress.
So I want to share with you a story about Ruby Bridges.
And Ruby Bridges was, she's pretty close to being my age,
and she was born in New Orleans.
And it was during the years
of where the schools were trying to be integrated.
So the Northerners, with John F. Kennedy,
he was basically saying we've got to integrate the schools,
we're going to follow the law of what the Supreme Court said.
So she was going to an all-black school
when she was in kindergarten.
And she had really high test scores,
so the NAACP said what you need to do is, maybe,
take the smartest, highest-achieving children
and integrate the schools.
And then that way, the white racists won't blame the children
for not being able to compete.
So anyway, so her family was approached and her family agreed
to send her to the white school.
And she wasn't supposed to be the only child going,
but the morning of the school starting, all the other children
of color dropped out of the school.
So she was the only one who went.
And what happened was, the marshals
who escorted her told her to never look up.
She always looked down.
And the marshals said later that she never cried or whimpered.
But what happened was, she had to walk
through these horrible mobs
of people screaming and yelling at her.
And here she is, a 6-year-old, going to first grade.
She's being threatened and tormented on her way to school.
One woman threatened to poison her,
so that kind of disturbed her.
Another woman put a baby black doll on a noose
and waved it in front of her.
And she still, she was, like, a rule follower,
and she never looked up.
She just did what the marshal said,
which is keep her head down.
And then they walked her into the school.
So she was the only child in first grade
because when the other families found out that she was enrolled
in their class, they pulled their kids out
and took them to a private school.
So I was lucky enough that I got to attend a workshop
where Ruby Bridges was presenting at a conference.
And she said, as a grownup woman, somebody asked
if she hated white people after what she had been through.
And she said, "No, not at all, because my teacher was white
and she was one of the nicest people I knew."
And she said, in her family, that they had just talked
about how there's some people who are like that
and some people who aren't.
So there are some people who are racist
and some people who aren't.
And she just kind of grew up with that kind of attitude.
Her family was also very religious,
and so they would pray every day for God to protect her.
And she would also pray on her way to school.
And she said that she always knew
that she would be protected.
So there's this painting was done by Norman Rockwell,
who was a famous painter at the time,
and his paintings were exhibited on what's called
"The Saturday Evening Post," which is a magazine
that was very popular back then.
And what happened was, in a way it was really,
really good that Norman Rockwell,
who's this white painter --
and he usually paints these usually nicey-nice types
of scenes -- he was so disturbed by what he was watching
on the television, that he actually painted this scene.
And it was really good, because it brought a lot of attention
to what was going on in the South.
And it wasn't in newspapers or magazines, but it was actually
in your living room, where you were watching these scenes
of these incredibly ridiculous racists throwing tomatoes,
and calling this little girl "nigger,"
and having her walk through these mobs.
And television has really helped transform some of the issues
that weren't being highlighted as well
as they could be through print.
But through television,
you could definitely see what was happening.
So anyway, one day, you know,
terrible things were happening to her.
Her dad was fired, her mom couldn't get a job.
The NAACP was supporting her family financially
so that she could just try to get through this year.
But one day, this woman, as she was walking through the mob,
screamed out at her and she wrote in her book, she wrote,
"I was alone, and all those people were screaming,
and suddenly I saw God smiling.
And I smiled.
And a woman was standing there, and she shouted at me,
'Hey, you little nigger.
What are you smiling at?'" And she said,
"This is the only time I ever looked up, but I looked right
up at her face and I said, 'At God.'
Then she looked up at the sky, and she looked at me,
and she didn't call me any more names."
And what I'm wondering, and what was so powerful to me
by this quote, was how do you find a 6-year-old
with that much strength, with that much resilience,
with that much power, that she could say to an older,
grownup woman, who's calling her these names,
and there to protest just against her?
And she stands there, looking at her face, and saying, "At God."
I mean, that is pretty powerful stuff.
So how is it that some of us are born with the spirit of fight
and others of us are so vulnerable that we overcome
to our surroundings and, you know, we don't do as well.
So there are the resilient kids, like Ruby Bridges,
and then there's also the children
that are what we call vulnerable,
that don't fare as well.
And that might be your brother, or your sister, or your cousin.
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