Oprah and Stedman Graham have been together since 1986 — yet the pair has never walked
down the aisle, despite getting engaged a few years into the relationship.
Instead, they found their own groove and forged a bond that works for them, even if it may
look strange to outsiders…and may involve a lot of Gayle King.
Calling off the wedding
In 1992, Oprah and Stedman's engagement was the buzz.
We're talking cover-of-People-magazine huge, which is what happens when the "richest woman
in show business" reveals that she's getting married.
But the wedding never happened.
The pair stayed together, but it would take 20 years for Oprah to reveal why the marriage
went on permanent hold.
In an interview with Shonda Rhimes, Oprah explained,
"I was supposed to do a book at the same time and Stedman said he did not want to have his
wedding um… disturbed by all these people asking me about the book."
And after desperately wanting Stedman to want to marry her, Oprah admitted she didn't actually
want to have a wedding.
"So he said, 'We should just postpone this wedding.
I said, 'OK.'
And that was it.
And We have never discussed it again."
Un-wedded bliss
While the couple's relationship has withstood the test of time, the TV icon has become increasingly
adamant that marriage would have ruined everything.
In 2013, after being encouraged by close friend Tina Turner to walk down the aisle, Oprah
told Access Hollywood, "Tina was like, 'Oprah, you need to do this.
You need to do it.'
And I was just thinking, 'Well, OK, would things really be different?'
And no, I don't think so."
By that point, Oprah and Stedman had been together 27 years, so it's safe to say they
know what works for them.
Oprah said, "If you ever interviewed [Stedman], he would tell you that had we married, we
would not be together today.
Because he's a traditional man and this is a very untraditional relationship...If I had
the title 'wife,' I think there would be other expectations for what a wife is and what a
wife does...First of all, you've got to come home sometimes."
Appearances
Despite shooting more than 4,561 episodes over the course of 25 years, Stedman has rarely
graced the set of The Oprah Winfrey Show.
"Lemme just tell you, Stedman has only been to, in my entire career, I think three shows."
But before you jump to conclusions, Stedman's absence wasn't because he didn't support his
partner.
It was just the opposite.
According to the Cut, "In Stedman's words, he is a 'man in a relationship with a very
powerful woman' — and wants her to succeed.
Stedman lets Oprah do her thing."
Dirty laundry
In 2014, Oprah's former stepmother, Barbara Winfrey, began spilling secrets to the Daily
Mail.
This began after Oprah's father divorced Barbara and allegedly encouraged his famous daughter
to evict his ex-wife from their mansion — unbeknownst to Barbara, Oprah's name was on the mortgage.
Radar reported Oprah sold the place for $1.2 million in 2015.
And things got even messier when Barbara began spilling tea about Oprah and Stedman.
Barbara told the Daily Mail, "Stedman isn't a good steward of money and that suits Oprah
fine.
He is financially dependent on her.
He knows her secrets and she knows his.
Why would they marry now?
He's there at her beck and call.
He knows his role in her life."
Barbara also alleged that Oprah made sure a book written by Stedman became a bestseller
by buying a warehouse and filling it with copies she purchased herself.
And that was just the tip of the iceberg.
While Oprah and Stedman have been open about living independently, Barbara added some suspicious
layers by claiming she'd "never once witnessed them hold hands or kiss."
She then also alleged that Oprah told her she had Stedman followed, claiming, "Once
you're in Oprah's world, she owns you."
The Gayle factor
Even back in 1992, Gayle King was already a permanent fixture in Oprah and Stedman's
relationship.
In the People cover story announcing their engagement, King features prominently in the
event.
King was not only present for the proposal, but she also coaxed Oprah to appear on her
Hartford, Connecticut eyewitness report and break the news, which sent national news networks
scrambling to catch up.
While King is best friends with Oprah, it's really not that out of the ordinary for close
friends to witness a proposal.
But that hasn't stopped years-long tabloid speculation about the true nature of their
relationship.
As if that wasn't enough, Kitty Kelley's unauthorized biography certainly didn't help quiet the
rumors when it was published in 2010.
According to the New York Post, Kelley claims Oprah has had a series of "lesbian affairs",
attaching herself to Stedman to "appear more normal to her audience of housewives."
All of this stems from Oprah's tight relationship with King, which began when they were trapped
in a snow storm while working at a Baltimore TV station in 1976.
The besties even addressed the lesbian rumors in an issue of O, with Oprah saying, "There
isn't a definition in our culture for this kind of bond between women.
So I get why people have to label it — how can you be this close without it being sexual?"
King, who is an editor at O, also contributed to the essay, saying, "The truth is, if we
were gay, we would tell you, because there's nothing wrong with being gay."
Oprah echoed King's words, saying, "All my stuff is out there.
People think I'd be so ashamed of being gay that I wouldn't admit it?
Oh, please."
Mic.
Drop.
Tell-all
Not long after Oprah put out the fires started by her stepmother's interview with the Daily
Mail, Stedman's niece decided to get into the act by shopping around a tell-all book
about the famous couple in 2015.
According to the National Enquirer, the book would include "Oprah's alleged drug use, jealousy,
cheating, vicious gay rumors and explosive comments made by her dad."
A publishing deal was never inked, and the book never saw the light of day.
While one could assume Oprah and this niece probably came to a very lucrative agreement,
there's one other factor to consider: Oprah and Stedman might not be all about the drama.
Low key
While promoting what was supposed to be a juicy, unauthorized autobiography about Oprah's
life, Kelley's publisher provided a strange excerpt about how sources described Stedman
as, "Nice enough but boring as hell.
So boring."
While recalling a family vacation, former step-mom Barbara claimed Oprah and Stedman
spent the whole time just sitting around talking to King.
But maybe it's just that the couple is actually comfortable doing nothing special at all.
"I think people are fascinated
with the realtionship because you haven't seen him.
And when you see us it's really quite normal."
Whatever works
While their relationship might not seem conventional to outside observers, and they've raised a
few eyebrows by refusing to get hitched, there's no denying Oprah and Stedman have found an
arrangement that allows them to both be happy and successful in life.
And, really, that's all that matters.
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