I just held on to my roommate.
I was like AHHH!
And then she was just like, "Dude, what happened?"
I was like WHAZAZAZAAA.
Hi, my name is Aniruddha.
I'm scared of pigeons.
My name is Shayan,
and I am deathly afraid of lizards.
My name is Sonia,
and I am really afraid of snakes.
I don't know, the thing about pigeons is that
they fly, and they're rats,
and they're dirty, and they make
that noise, right? They make that
noise, like GUTR GUTR. GUTR GUTR.
And it's just really, really scary
because have you seen a pigeon up close?
They are not pretty things!
My mom says it's probably because
she was afraid of snakes.
So I've never watched Anaconda, obviously.
If it's a live-action snake, I can't watch it at all.
If it's a cartoon snake, I can deal with it.
I can't really tell you why I'm scared of lizards.
In essence, they're not really harming us much.
I think it's their movements which really freak me out,
because they're just there.
Like, they're just motionless, staring at you. Sometimes
I don't even know if they're staring at you.
And then the moment you make one move, it'll just go like —
*moves as if lizard*
It's just not for me, okay? It's horror movie stuff.
If The Powerpuff Girls were made, they would not be
made using pigeons, because
pigeons suck.
When I was about twelve years old,
I was in my room. I was in my bathroom.
I dunno, I was singing or something.
I was, like, doing some 12-year-old s***.
I didn't have any footwear on.
Then my mum called me or something,
so I opened the bathroom door.
I stepped out, and I heard
a crunch
under my foot. Like, just
"KKKKHHHHHKHKHKH".
And I looked down,
and it was
a lizard.
So, our college in Chennai
was in this really secluded area.
Like, even Google Maps used to get the location wrong.
So we'd go out, eat egg puffs and lemon juice
and this one person's stall.
I'm just walking outside, and I see
this snake.
I go running in my society,
and it's a loop. It's a continuous loop.
So every time I would run that loop,
I would see this little pigeon on the tree
in the corner, and it would just —
it would just, like, look at me.
I was on my 10th or 12th loop,
and suddenly this pigeon flies.
And it flies straight into my chest.
I had stepped on the lizard with my bare foot
but I could feel it crunch
and then I looked down and it was like
*weird noises*
Just the shock of it
just really like
broke me down.
I know that I caused a lot more pain to the lizard.
Like the snake just slithered past.
Not even like,
I don't know, it was creepy
it was just like,
*more weird noises*
It must have been really tiny
but in my head it was this
massive snake and oh god, the thought of it just creeps me out.
And I just held on to my roommate and I was like "Ah!".
And then she was just like, "Dude, what happened?"
I was like
"Whhaaazaaazaza".
I didn't even know what it was
because it hit me and I was like "What the f*ck" is this.
It was an adult f*cking pigeon
and then it like
flutters in my face
and then it like falls down on the ground.
And then I don't stop because I don't want to be like,
called for like pigeon death.
And I ran and I yelled and I yelled and...
My first reaction was to go
bawling across the house into my parents' room,
just streaming tears.
They looked at me very incredulously, they are like,
you do realise that you've probably killed that sh*t.
But I was still, like, hysterical and I was like
"Just get it away, just get it away".
So my dad went to the room
he told me the lizard was still
writhing in pain.
He took it between two pieces of cardboard or something
and then he threw it out the window.
Obviously we were still hungry
so we weren't going to abandon that plan.
Anytime a leaf or a twig or
even a thread from my own shorts touched me
I'd just flinch and be like,
*angry cat sounds maybe?*
And I remember even when we were at the food stall,
I was just shaking and holding on to my
lemonade like, "Sh*t, sh*t, sh*t...
the snake's going to come here".
I don't know, does the snake know where I'm at?
I came and took my turn again,
and there it was, it was fluttering on the ground.
Like I've seen a lot of horror movies where they say,
"You do not go to the point of problem".
But I felt bad for this little
fluttering bird of disease.
And I walk up to it
and it flies into my face again.
So I went home and I
took one shower and I took another shower
I took another shower
and then I
yeah, and then when I finally felt that
I had washed all that pigeon off me
I realised I had to take another shower again.
So like four showers. I was finally pigeon- free.
I left the situation unharmed.
But I was still afraid for the rest of the day.
My roommate was just like,
"Get over it, the snake's gone".
I'm not going to get over it.
I am scared of snakes!
You can't tell me how to feel.
I know what it feels like to have a lizard in the room
and you hate lizards.
And that stress, it just never goes away.
Lizard even disappears, you don't know where the lizard is.
Probably going to climb up your asshole when you're asleep
or something.
Yeah, might be an irrational fear but it's...
It could happen.
It ended up under my foot,
It can end up anywhere.
If you're afraid of snakes
and you've actually run into one,
just run in the opposite direction.
I don't know, I don't know what to do.
I didn't confront my fear.
If any of you hate pigeons or are scared of them,
know that there is always help out there.
There is going to be somebody who hates pigeons
as much as you do.
And you are going to find them,
and you are going to create a support group for each and every one of you.
If you see a lizard in your room
just burn your room to the ground.
Relocate.
Say goodbye to your family, say goodbye to your friends.
Start afresh, start a new life.
And also wear slippers at all times.
For god's sake,
wear slippers.
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