These days, just about any movie you see is filled with product placements.
Sometimes, it's subtle or at least sensical enough to the storyline to pass by largely
unnoticed while still giving your subconscious a little shopping nudge.
Other times, the corporate wink is so overt it's absurd.
In the case of these films, the sales pitch factor was so strong that the movies suffered
as a result.
Power Rangers: Krispy Kreme
The new Power Rangers movie might've been trying to dial up the seriousness of the story,
but the movie basically became a feature-length commercial thanks to its endless advertisements
for Krispy Kreme.
"We gotta go to Krispy Kreme."
The donut shop is featured as a central hangout for the Power Rangers, where they like to
play grabby games over the last bite.
As if that isn't enough obvious movie marketing, the characters' big showdown with Rita Repulsa
lays it on even thicker, when they tell her the Macguffin she's looking for can be found
there.
"Krispy Kreme.
This is a special place."
"Very special."
Then, near the film's climax, Rita and Goldar go on a rampage, looking for Krispy Kreme,
while the Rangers circle the shop to protect it — because, you know, the world may crumble,
but the donuts must be saved.
And then to make things even stickier, Rita finally finds the Krispy Kreme and sits down
to enjoy her first perfectly glazed doughnut, as a presumably hungry Goldar crashes through
the wall.
Not surprisingly, the chain returned the favor by rolling out special Power Rangers-themed
donuts.
Because when you need to save the world, nothing's better than five donuts.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Pizza Hut
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles love pizza, but that doesn't mean they have to advertise
the pizza, too.
But in the 2014 Turtles reboot, the cowabunga kids get caught sneaking up to the city by
master Splinter who whips the Turtles with his tail, then punishes them with actual torture,
forcing them to stay in weird hanging positions for hours until one explains why they went
aboveground.
When no Turtle cracks, Splinter ups his interrogation game like so:
"There's literally nothing that could break me right now."
And because this is a commercial, Splinter goes out of his way to let Michelangelo — and
the viewing audience — know everything that's good and wonderful about succulent pizza from
Pizza Hut.
Calling it the "99 Cheese Pizza," Splinter seduces Mikey with all the various cheeses
baked within.
While the 99 Cheese Pizza isn't actually a Pizza Hut item, sticking it in an obvious
Pizza Hut box must've made the brand very, very happy.
Little Nicky: Popeye's Chicken
Adam Sandler's Little Nicky may have been about Satan's son, but the real devil was
Popeye's Chicken.
In the first scene, a talking bulldog teaches Nicky how to eat — because devils don't
need nutrition in Hell.
Naturally, Nicky's first food encounter is with the crunchy fried chicken brand, and
after he finally figures out how to chew and swallow, he declares:
"Popeye's Chicken is f---in' awesome!"
If that isn't enough of an endorsement for you, later in the movie Nicki has to fend
off evil demons, and he does so by conjuring up a giant box of … what else?
"Popeye's Chicken is the shiznit!"
And if watching a bunch of ugly demons snacking on Popeye's doesn't make you hungry, what
will?
I, Robot: Converse All-Stars
Despite I, Robot taking place in 2035, Will Smith still had to sell viewers a pair of
Converse All-Stars.
But filming a scene where he digs up an old, beat-up pair of Converse kicks wouldn't be
good for the brand, so instead the writers got creative, and recast his kicks as some
pristine antiques.
"Converse All-Stars, vintage 2004."
Later on, a guy compliments Smith's shoes — because there was probably a requisite
number of material mentions written into the deal.
"Nice shoes."
You've Got Mail: Starbucks
Never mind that You've Got Mail was essentially one big ad for AOL — its most egregious
product placement of all is when it spends 45 seconds reminding you of all the delicious
treats you can get at Starbucks.
Just as Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan continuously just miss each other during their daily excursions,
Hanks' voice comes in to ignore the plot in favor of shilling for Starbucks.
While part of it is a passive-aggressive piece of commentary about the mindlessness of shopping
there, he does manage to slip in this little nugget of promotion:
"Get not just a cup of coffee, but an absolutely defining sense of self."
"Tall skim Caramel Macchiato."
Transformers Age of Extinction: Beats By Dre
The Transformers cartoon was designed to sell toys, whereas the Transformers movies are
designed to sell everything.
Here's just one example.
In Age of Extinction, we see a businessman looking over a batch of "transformium," a
mysterious alien alloy that can change into any form its holder desires.
So while it's floating above his hands, what's the first thing this cold, intense, single-minded
business tycoon dreams up?
Why, the new Beats By Dre Pill speaker, of course!
"You like music?
The pill."
You're better than that, Stanley Tucci.
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