WAYNE DYER: the topic if there is such a thing for today is choosing your own greatness or
being a No Limit person taking charge of your own life something I really believe
that you are the sum total of all of the choices that you've made up until now
and anything about yourself or your life that you don't like or isn't working or
as mobilizing you is to be looked at in terms of can I grow rather than why did
I do whatever hasn't this wrong see the two ways to motivate yourself our
deficiency motivation which says where I am I don't like I don't like what I've
done I don't like the fact that I can't do this well or I can't do that well so
I will list these things in my own repertoire and then I will be constantly
trying to repair those deficiencies always assuming that I'm deficient that
there's something wrong with me and I'm trying to fix it and when you do that
you spend your whole life doing that and you never arrive because your life
becomes a series of trying to get someplace else and it is if you follow
that if you live that if you behave that then what happens to you is you become a
person who will always suffer from this disease called more you always have to
have more because whenever you are getting where you want to go let's say
you want $100,000 in the bank and you work and you struggle and you deny
yourself and you do all of those things and you finally finally you get there
and here you are you got a hundred thousand dollars in the bank all of this
stuff over here of course your life and that is all you know that's what you
know how to it how you are that is your being that is your way of being so that
when you do get here what you will do is say this is not enough you must a No
Limit person is never operating from deficiency or from lack in their life
they're never saying I don't have enough
you see you're never going to get enough you already are
everything you're everything that you need think of it for just a moment
everything that you need to have total bliss perfection of your life you
already are you already have it you came into this world with nothing that's how
you're going out and the time that you have here what you have is your
uniqueness your specialness and you don't need anything else
now think on this if you don't know how to appreciate what you have and where
you are in your life you don't need anything else because if you do get
something else you won't know how to appreciate that either you'll just want
more or you'll want it to be different or you want it to be the way it used to
be or you'll want someone else to be the way you think they should be successful
people are no limit people or self actualizing people or inner-directed
people however you whatever labels that have been put on them by great thinkers
and philosophers and therapists and people that have looked at human beings
these kinds of people are people who always have enough there are some people
if you invite them over and you say you know I'd like you to I like you to come
over tonight and I'd like you to stay over if you can instead of having to
drive back and they'll say why can you say can you stay and say well I don't
know if I can stay or not well you could sleep on the cot oh no you know I could
never sleep on the cot I can't sleep on consciousness
I got a sciatica don't you listen I have a high of back pain in the way I dogs
and cats know that's out of the question I couldn't sleep on account and what
about breakfast well we don't have any food that we have some old grapefruit
that are in the in the refrigerator they have a few spots on them off no I could
never eat grapefruits in some spots no thanks I can't eat great food spots I
just couldn't do that you know and these are people who never have enough they
are are not able to be flexible and to change and their other people if you say
would you like to sleep over we got a place in the sewers hey that'd be great
I can handle that no problem I've slept there before and all we have is great
for all I love grapefruit well we got the cat's bottom aw I really like
grapefruit spots those are terrific I'll go for those there are some people who
can handle anything not because their circumstances are different you see your
circumstances have very little to do with your fulfillment in life very
little it's it's how you're approaching your circumstances it's your attitude
towards your circumstances that make all the difference in the world and taking
what you are and accepting it this is a little love advertisement that was in
the Detroit Free Press for last September I was giving a speech at the
Unity Church of today in Detroit and it says dr. Wayne Dyer will talk about your
inner child and how to deal effectively with problems in all relationships and
it was a real nice ad you can see that then on top of the ad in the same paper
there's another ad and the ad says face it
right on top of Maya there's no hiding from hair loss they got a picture of a
guy with a box over his head and they have a before-and-after guy there and
the after guy looks like he's just found fulfillment and it says you can't run
and you can't hide hair loss is a problem and unless you take action it
will continue now we've got to look at this in terms of what I can do with this
and how I can handle this see my daughter helped me with being bald a
long time ago she said dad you're not really bald don't think of yourself that
way she said you're just about this much taller than your hair that's all just
sort of a nice way to look at it so I just sort of outgrew my hair it sort of
transcended my hair if you will all right no limit people are human being
who take what they are and accept it and don't tell themselves that somehow
they're deficient because of anything about themselves this is a very crucial
concept for for me and for virtually all of us it's this idea of taking your life
in your own hands and being the kind of person that you choose to be and
understanding that everything that comes your way is an opportunity is a blessing
and it wasn't until I learned how to celebrate virtually everything that came
my way that I was able to transcend it you see everything that was given to us
by God whatever that is is perfect no one can deny the mountains are perfect
and the rivers are perfect and the birds are perfect and the hippopotamus is a
perfect and so on this is just what was given to
us everything else that you have on our planet that we have in our planet comes
about as a result of thinking thinking thought makes it so all right this
microphone comes about as a result of thinking somebody imagines it somebody
then tells somebody else and it better created the dress that you're wearing
this shirt that I'm the shoes that you have the stage these cameras everything
that you see that wasn't given to us was created by man as a result of the way
that we think the way that we think so what gets inside of us as a cell comes
about as a result of the way that we choose to think in our lives very
important principle to understand because once you get a hold of thinking
and that it creates everything that you have in your life you can change and
make it is absolutely perfect as you want it to be because thought makes it
so creative visualization is what we're talking about here you the imagery or
the image that you have of anything in your life is really like mental behavior
it's like going out and practicing if you go out and practice with a
basketball shooting free throws over and over again that's physical practice
imagery is mental practice it's mental behavior when you have an image that you
can succeed at something when you have an image that you can do it rather than
that you can't do it when you get into your car and you have an image that
you're going to find a parking place rather than that there'll be no place to
park so you're not looking for an old place to park
you will start acting on the image that you have very much like you will start
acting on the practice that you have when you're shooting baskets or when
you're hitting a forehand or or working on your soup or anything else that
you're doing Bucky fuller who I served with on the hunger project advisory
council for nine years who died not too long ago said that 99% who you are you
can't touch you can't see you can't smell 99% of you is untouchable on
smellable invisible it is what Penn Kies is called your your conscious awareness
it's your it's looks out behind those eyeballs what is
that it isn't it isn't cells it's some kind of conscious awareness that you are
and make no mistake about it you've occupied a whole lot of bodies already
now this is not reincarnation talk although I don't know about this
reincarnation people asked me if I believed in it I said well I taught in a
junior high school in the inner city of Detroit for four years and I saw those
dead bodies come to life every day at 3 o'clock so I believed in reincarnation 9
now if what you is 99% of who you are you can't touch and you can't feel and
you can't smell then where did what is it who is it where are you what is this
thing called your essence or who you are and where does it go now think of this
you were in a body I have a little baby girl who's 11 months old
and she and we were all in a body that size was only a body about this day got
fingers only this long you know got that tiny tiny little parts all over the
place I mean she's only this tall now is that her is that her essence because I
have other children who are much older and I am much older than that and I can
remember being 3 and being in a different body still me still my essence
they're different but totally doesn't even look anything like when I look was
11 months old and then I was 13 and had a funny body at 13 but still my essence
was there in a whole new body hairs growing all over the place that I didn't
understand all kinds of things happening to it you know then hairs falling out of
it later on you know looking at those hair that's all I would say what held it
in yesterday you know what comes out I don't even understand that okay and so
it's like Who I am has been in many many bodies already all right and that
essence you see everything on our planet that is alive can never die but can
never die life doesn't die it just transforms it just moves on to new
places and new ways of being new being and the way of being that is the
most transcendent of all is this way that comes from seeing yourself as love
and only having that to give away only having that to give away let's say I
would have stand up here in front of you and just visualize for a moment but I
have an orange and I take this orange and I squeeze it as hard as I can
squeeze it okay what's going to come out to I'll kind of juice or is it apple
juice any chance once in a while come on now and then little mango juice come out
of an orange once in a while no mistakes right never no matter what next question
everybody passes these are easy okay why when you squeeze an orange as hard as
you can squeeze it because orange juice come out because that's not because it's
an orange because that's what's inside isn't it on our planet when you squeeze
something what comes out of it is what's inside not too difficult all right
does it matter if your mother squeezes the orange doesn't matter what
instruments you uses does it matter if you just had your period and then you
squeeze an orange doesn't matter if your boss squeezes it how about if your kids
do it your kids squeeze it on does it matter doesn't matter what time of day
suppose they do it at noon all right how about it 4:00 in the morning does that
matter whenever you squeeze an orange the only
thing you get out is what's inside right no arguments
same thing works for you same principle works for you it's a principle of the
universe all right someone squeezes you that is someone puts pressure on you
someone says things about you that you don't like someone puts tension on you
whatever your boss says something to you that you don't and out of you comes
anger and out of you comes hatred and out of you comes fear
out of you comes stress or out of you comes tension why is it because of your
boss the way they squeeze never is it because of your mother I mean she really
can be a pain sometimes right is it because of your children now what comes
out of you always when someone squeezes you is what's inside this is the the
vital principle of being a No Limit person it's so crucial to get this and
understand that that if you have any hatred in your heart for anyone in this
world or any anger or any fear or any of those things it has nothing to do with
the rest of the world it only has to do with what you put inside now how does
what gets inside of you get there that's the key how does it get there as you
think only as you think you see there's no anger in the world there's no stress
in the world there's no tension it's perfect we've already stopped it's
perfect place it works just fine it's all flowing the way it's supposed to
flow the evidence for it is it is that's all the evidence you need just look
around you everything out there is a miracle everything including you there
are no mistakes it's all perfect and everything that happens to you in your
life whether it's a trauma whether it's a disease whether it's somebody treating
you in a certain way there's a lesson in all of it no-limit people understand the
lesson in life and therefore celebrate the lessons it's true and when you get
to that point in your life where you're not cursing the things that come your
way and blaming the things that come your way and particularly blaming it on
somebody else and you hear it all the time she hurt my feelings how is that
possible how can anybody hurt your feelings your feelings come from your
thoughts no one can hurt your feelings without your consent no one can make a
fool of you without your consent no one can
issue without your consent these are choices that you have that comes from
the way that you think someone calls you a name hey stupid can you turn around I
didn't even tell anybody I was coming how do they know that all right and then
you blame the person who called you a name instead of saying that's just their
opinion that's just where they are that's where they are on the path and
it's okay all of you are in relationships right everybody has a
relationship of some kind or another in your relationship you have any problems
any of you have relationship you don't have any problems I'd like you to take
this microphone I want to sit down and listen to you
everybody in a relationship has problems okay right now when you say I'm in a
relationship I got problems therefore there's something wrong something's
really wrong I know if you're in a relationship and you have problems and
something is wrong you got a call in a consultant right you got to call in
somebody to help you with the problems you want the problems to go on who are
you going to call it you only got yourself it's all you got
you might get a therapist once in a while but they got worse problems than
you did the only consultant who can help you with your problems is you and who is
that consultant that you're calling in we've already established that there's
something wrong with that person right some wrong so now you're going to call
in a disabled person to deal with your problem in your
relationship right now this is a really sick approach to curing your problem you
got somebody that we got a problem you don't talk to me and so you came home
late last week and this week I called you and you didn't call and I was
supposed to call you and then you didn't do it ever how could you do that now
this is the consultant you're calling excuse me you committed helpless oh you
know your name already that's the person you got to deal with your problem all
right now what you can do is you can change follow that around you can say
I'm in a relationship we got problems but nothing wrong with that that's the
way things are you know my problem is that you are different than I am and you
think differently than I do and you behave differently than I do and you
smell different than I do and you have all of these attitudes over here that I
don't have nothing wrong with that that's the way it is when two people get
together in a relationship you don't have two people becoming one if you do
that then what you end up with there to have persons who wants a half a person
in a relationship you always are single even if you're married and four you know
and involved in relationships you're still always single you're still always
you your unique special perfect self that is not trying to love but who is
love who lives love who is being loved the
same as if you pray to God and say God will you please help me with my problems
and want God to do it for you never have you've got to be God not be afraid to
carry God around inside of you if you want to get healed you have got to
understand that you're not going to get healed if you are asking someone else to
heal you and ask any doctor now you know any surge in particularly who's taking
somebody into surgery and ask them which person has a better chance of living
surviving stay serious surgery is that the one who has a will to live or is it
the one who's just given up and the surgery and the cases are exactly the
same right but the person who has that will which we can't define you can't go
out and get a bucket full of will bring it in there it's an attitude it's
an approach it's a belief right that you can do something and when you have that
belief about yourself then you know you've got so much better opportunity to
be well in your life and a belief is everything I don't know if you've ever
thought of that I watched a little girl five years old learning how to swim and
she's holding on to the edge of the pool and she wants to get over here to the
steps and it's just five feet or six feet and she'll let go and to hold on
again and she'll let go is to hold on again and finally there comes a time
when she lets go and goes for it okay you've all said you've seen this with
your children you've seen and what you ask yourself is in the moment before
that when she was holding on and then look at the moment afterwards does she
have any different skills what's changed and the skills and there's gonna be new
skills you do learn a skills in that second what she had is a belief that she
can do it when you believe it when you really just believe that you can do it
that's what allows you to swim and what do you think about it now do you not a
swim yes so will you dive into the word you don't think about that you just know
when you dive into the water you can swim you don't have any necessary
swimming skills or anything like that or when you get on a bicycle you get on you
know that you're going to unless you believe you can't because you've never
gone out there and tried it and worked on it I told the story of a patient of
yours who had that very problem who said she didn't know how to ride a bicycle
yeah Gayle who came to me many years ago and you know why she said she couldn't
ride a bicycle because her mother wouldn't let her get on one call yeah
absolutely and she had these beautiful big white
teeth and her mother had always told her you could fall and break your teeth and
I wouldn't want that to happen to you so here she was now in her 30s and telling
me that she couldn't ride a bike and she was in therapy and I said to okay let's
go she said go where we going I said well
I've got a bicycle downstairs and I'm going to show you how to ride a bike I'm
gonna have you teach yourself how to do this she said look I didn't come here to
pay you the kind of money that I'm paying you to have you teach me how to
ride a bicycle I came here to find out why I can't I thought well you're going
to need another 30 seconds of therapy easy okay the reason you can't is
because you never got yourself on a bicycle and until you do you never will
know how and you just believe that you can't oh that's the
to that there's no more to talk about that now what we have to do is get you
to get out there and we went downstairs and I it was a woman's bike and I've
helped a lot of people to teach themselves on a rider bike and what you
do when you teach you help someone to teach themselves how to ride a bike
because you don't teach anybody how to write like okay if you let them do it
all themselves you let them hold it you let them balance it let them move with
it you let them put the pedal down and move it themselves you stand back you
say no when you're ready you know in any movement and you hold on for a second
then you put your foot back down and you you practices and practice and practice
that all yourself you know it was just someone encouraging you and before long
in just a matter of minute when I tell you it was minute and this woman had
never been on a bicycle before she rode like two blocks on a bicycle she
couldn't believe that you she now had a belief being to me means seeing the
greatness and the uniqueness in you and never letting anybody else convince you
to the contrary when people ask me come on you're always talking about being up
and you're always positive and so on you mean to tell me that you're always that
way this is I say yeah yeah I really am and it isn't because I'm out there doing
something in an artificial way it's an authentic response to my heaven having
gotten the junk out of me and the junk is the way that I used to think the way
that I used to think think for a moment if you can visualize right here a clock
a big clock and the hands on the clock go from one to twelve the clock starts
right out here with a minute hand and it goes over towards the 3:00 hour and
minute hand and that's the time in your life when you are moving away from
yourself so I'm here to yourself that's the time when you are trying to put
other people down trying to prove that you're bigger and better than somebody
else trying to make yourself right all the time as opposed to being with
somebody else it's like you're moving away and a lot of people spend a lot of
time moving away from their true self because your true self is this little
child at this beautiful little child side of you that has only love and
acceptance for everything in the world and no disease no absence of these you
move away towards the three and then you move down here this way and you're still
moving away from yourself until you hit the six the six is the point in your
life symbolically metaphorically here when you are the farthest away from
yourself that you can be it's the low point in your life it's the point where
many people break down or many people break down their relationships or they
they feel full of despair they feel full of hatred whatever it may be and a lot
of people die then a lot of people are put into hospitals then a lot of people
have to really seek out therapy then and so on and when you're at that thing
there's another part of the clock that goes from six to twelve that I think of
as living in the light and this is when and see this clock hand never can go
back it can't go back it can only go this way it all only cause this way as
this life it only goes this way forward in this period this place between six
and twelve that's when you start coming back to yourself that's when that's what
enlightenment is that's what that's the pathway to enlightenment when you send
out that stuff that is destroying you is killing you in one way or another and
you move yourself back over here and eventually you get yourself all the way
back this is the light over here this is the place where you can't go back you be
tempted you might be tempted to steal you might be tempted to to to use anger
you might even slip a little bit and you catch yourself I can say just not too
long ago it was we've got a problem with our sprinkler that in my home one of the
sprinkler heads is off and if you ever seen that happened you get a gusher or
going up there and I've been wanting to get that thing replaced for the longest
time I'm walking out of the bank and there's a sprinkler head right there
it's one of the banks I practically own this Bank it's ok so they go there every
day and I do a lot of business with this bank and I'm looking at the sprinkler
head and I think you know all I have to do is just
I'm screwing this thing I wasn't honoring it they'll replace it tomorrow
morning it's 98 pence or whatever so I actually get down there and I'm and I
start turning the sprinkler and then I start thinking do I want this karma to
exist you know do I want do I want to steal do I want to take I know it's only
a 90 night and I went into the bank they probably give me one anyway if I happen
and I turn and I just turned it back and I said I want a sprinkler head I'll go
and buy one for myself this doesn't belong to me it was just like a
split-second of weakness there or whatever one but it Illustrated to me
that I can't go back there I could never and there was a time in my life when I
could have done that I can be absolutely Frank with that I could do that I can't
go back there anymore that's where you start that's the place that's there
because when you get all of that out when that's all gone and I mean gone and
it only comes about as a result of the way that you think so it's just changing
around your approach to life the way that you think in life when that starts
to go away what you become filled up with is what your natural self is which
is this loving accepting not fighting the universe but instead living in it
and going with the flow and all of the kinds of cliches that you've heard a
thousand times it is that's the metaphor there and you see every time you try to
go back can't do it you can't do it and the ingredients that make for a No Limit
life are five in my opinion the first is quality rather than appearances you
begin to change your thinking from appearances and how things look and how
other people view me okay because every time you find yourself upset in life
about anything that anyone else has said what you're really saying is what you
think of me is more important than what I think of me
all right so you change from appearances to what I call quality thinking quality
what is the quality of my life rather than how does it appear to others now do
you tell yourself that because my friends don't like me that that means
there's something wrong with me now that's see that's what you have to learn
that another person opinion is just that it's their opinion
and that's all it is every time you are upset or your children are upset because
of what somebody else says about them including their peers what you are
really saying in that moment and this is really important what you're saying is
what you think of me is more important than what I think of myself and you must
never give anybody that kind of power and control over you because they will
always have it the funny part about approval for those of you who really
want it enriched now I'm here to tell you that I like approval I enjoy it I
find it one of the most exciting things in too I like it when people read my
books I love it when people applaud I like it when people tell me nice things
and all I like approval I'm the first one to admit it what I don't do is I
don't need approval there's a big difference between wanting approval and
needing approval when you need approval it means you become immobilized when you
don't get it from making other people's opinions more important now for those of
you who say yeah but I want approval and I need and if I don't get it and so on
to understand this the people who get the most approval in life are the ones
who care the least about it and the ones who get the least approval are the ones
who are always going after it so if you want approval in this paradoxical way
that I'm talking about it stop needing it you stop concerning yourself over ask
yourself who gets the most approval in life think of the person that gets the
most approval and you'll see that that person couldn't care less what other
people are thinking they're so busy being they don't have time to notice
what their neighbors are doing the row said this he said if you advance
confidently in the direction of your own dreams and endeavor to live the life
which you have imagined you will meet with a success unexpected in common
hours what that means is that success is not something that you can get in life
success is an inner process success is something that you bring to
everything you do in your life it isn't something you get out of what you do and
when you get that and you learn how to get the junk out and advance confidently
doing what makes the most amount of sense to you they send your inner
signals and the one issue of morality which is you never interfere with
anybody else's right to do the same each person has their own right to advance
confidently in the direction of their own dreams and when you violate that
you're violating the principle of the universe the essence of the universe
which is cooperation and harmony then success will begin to chase you and it
will come into your life and arrive in your life in amounts that you never
dreamt of before that you never dreamt up things will start happening to you
that you would never imagined before I'm working on a book right now that's going
to be called you'll see it when you believe it when you start believing in
some of these principles you'll start seeing things that we were blind to for
so long when you were back here in the 2 and the 3 and the 4 and the 5 when you
were moving away from yourself as long as you're moving back towards your
universal essence your harmony with yourself your cooperation with the rest
things will start happening in ways that you never dreamt up you called it
synchronicity and we if it's a term that we use to explain how unexplainable
coincidences sort of happened in our life and how come these things have I
must share a couple of those with you before relate the the quality versus
appearance in your life means that you get that inner candle flame working in a
way that gives you quality independent of what other people think of you Maslow
in defining self actualizing no limit people said they are independent of the
good opinion of other people of the good opinion of other people independent of
it they're so busy advancing confidently doing the things that makes sense and
bringing success to changing their baby's diapers and bringing success to
weeding the garden and bringing it to the job they bring it
on the airplane so that when they run into somebody who is who is rude to them
a stewardess that is rude they don't see it as an attack on them it's just where
they are and they send them love help them a little bit you know they're kind
what somebody wants to get in on the freeway and their one old temptation
when they were on the one to the sixth side was to say oh yeah nobody's getting
in front of me I'm getting there first like it slowed down a little bit they
don't have all that type-a stuff of having to beat somebody else and having
to defeat somebody it is it's a new way of being it's a way of quality where
you're harmony allows you to cooperate and you are a part of what this whole
thing is about new way of being quality rather than appearances another new way
of being very important living your life on ethics rather than rules ethics
rather than rules all these rules all these ways of having to do things
somebody else dictates to them do you know that some of the most immoral acts
in the world have been perpetrated in the name of the rules these are the laws
what do you think Nazi Germany was all about everybody doing all these horrible
things to other people I'm only doing my job was the defense we all heard at
Nuremberg I was just doing my job if it's an immoral rule it's immoral to
obey it and self-actualizing people as mezzo tells us have rules inside of them
that they could never open never disobeyed ever and they have to do with
ethics how you treat people how do you think we get to where we are now you
know who Rosa Parks was the woman in the South the black woman in the south who
said not today I'm not going to the back today no way I know what the rules are
the rules were all over the place if you didn't need if you needed a reminder
there were signs everyplace colored in the back white in the front and she said
no I'm sitting here and that made all the difference
ethics not rules when your children start disobeying rules that need to be
disobeyed don't be surprised when I was in the service they had a
policy on Guam where I was stationed which would not allow the Guamanian
civilians to shop in the PX in the Navy exchanges but they did allow all other
civilians to shop in the Navy exchanges and DX's but if you were Guamanian that
is if your skin was dark and your eyes were shaped a little different then you
couldn't a clear outright violation I was a servicemen I was in the Navy the
communications at cryptographer they had a newspaper on the Guam Daily News and
it said an invitation to speak your mind
there was a letter writing contest and they offered $75 to the first prize
winner $75 this was 1961 that was a fortune to me that was a month's pay in
the Navy at that time almost so I entered the contest and I knew I would
win it I had already written a novel at that time a whole novel I've written
while I was on Guam I knew it wasn't going to be a contest I felt sorry for
the other people entering it I knew I was going to win unfortunately I didn't
realize that when you're in the service and you have an opinion and you don't
submit it to the chain of command that you can be court-martialed for that so
the headlines on next week's Guam Daily News were us sailor a sales policy of
discrimination big hot stuff all right and I was called before a Vice Admiral
commander naval forces Marianas Islands and threatened with a court-martial
because I had disobeyed the rules even though the rule was immoral there are
lots of them like that and when I went in and they threatened me with the
court-martial I told them this was my battle plan I didn't have Xerox machines
in those days so I had to get a lot of carbon paper I wrote a letter to the
President John F Kennedy and I wrote a letter to the Secretary of the Navy and
I wrote a letter I was my hometown was Detroit I wrote a letter to the Detroit
News and a letter to the Detroit Free Press telling them what was happening to
me as a result of just expressing my opinion about an immoral act that was
going on over here on Guam and I showed the naval vice-admiral
my letters right there I said I've only sent the one to the president in the
Secretary of the Navy these letters go to the newspapers across the country
there was one there to the New York Times as well and the Los Angeles Times
it was the and I just spread them out before him I said if you court-martial
me or punish me in any way for this then what's going to happen is
the world is going to find out about this policy and I'm prepared I'm ready I
can handle it and I was 20 years old at the time
for 21 not only did I get a blessing from that because all things come in
blessings for you I got out 90 days early
and they stamped on my record P I because the president took it up and
sent it to the secretary Muslims and I never heard from him but I P I on your
record means political influence and they don't like anybody with political
influence in the motor and as soon as they saw that they said this is somebody
we probably will be giving a discharge real soon there was no work there was no
court-martial and in September of 1962 a brand new policy was initiated on Guam
which allowed any civilian to shop in the Navy exchanges and it came about as
a result of someone saying these rules are immoral and therefore it's immoral
to obey them new ways of being ethics rather than rules and when your kids
want to know why how come these rules are so stupid how come we have to do
that encourage them to change them my mother always did that she would have to
help me get out of this out of the messes but I got myself into because I
did it in my impetuous youth I would just when they would say to me what's
more important your job or school I was just honest I bet you have of course
that's how I felt in those days but what you do put out in the world is exactly
what's coming back to you and if you find things coming back to you that you
don't like and don't understand don't ask yourself why these things are coming
to you ask yourself what you're doing to make them come back to you and when you
start putting the responsibility on yourself you start seeing dramatic
changes dramatic changes a new way of being
instead of ethic instead of rules ethics a new another new way of being instead
of looking all your life for achievements and externals try living
your life on knowledge for the sake of knowledge knowledge instead of
achievement for the sake of knowledge being in a in a context in which you
don't have to collect a lot of merit badges you don't have to collect a lot
of a lot of and other people's value judgments that
you go to school you go out into the world or you read or whatever it is you
do because it makes sense to you not because of what somebody else is going
to put on a transcript or where you're going to appear in a class list we need
to help our children to understand and value the importance of knowledge for
the sake of knowledge and doing things that make sense
rather than taking the easy way knowledge rather than always trying to
achieve we're in an achievement oriented Society which tells us that we evaluate
and judge a human being based upon how many cheese achievements he has but most
of the people who get caught up in that trap and are always in this circle of
trying to get ahead trying to always get ahead their reward for that almost
always as higher blood pressure ulcers early deaths and even things like cancer
we're beginning to find out are related to the kinds of stresses that we have
and remember it's a perfect universe there's no stress in it there's only
people thinking stressful thoughts and when you put that pressure on yourself
to always achieve and get ahead of the other guy you miss what it's really all
about nothing wrong with goals it's falling in love with them that's the
problem it's not being able to be flexible and be alter them if you have a
goal to get here to get $100,000 in the bank to get to this promotion to get two
cars in your garage whatever it is that your goal is and you're on your way to
that and you're always working at the goal all of this stuff on your way to
the goal is called striving and that's what you learn striving so it is a very
low level place to be when you get to your goal because all you've ever known
is driving you will just always suffer from this disease called more you will
just upgrade your goal to $200,000 for cars and two houses and another wife and
a younger one and all of these kinds of things if you have a goal and you
understand that every step along the way is the present moment to enjoy and to
live then the goal won't become any obsession I don't have any goals in my
life people ask me where you're going to be five years from now what are you
going to be doing what's next for you I just remember what Lincoln said who to
me was like the greatest person who ever sat in that White House he said I never
had a policy he said I just tried to do what made the greatest amount of sense
each and every day of my life as I sat there as the president of the
United States and I think there's something really significant in that now
you don't have to get it all planned out and follow a certain pattern and do it a
certain way if you just sort of trust your inner instincts and go with that
and live each moment the gold stuff we'll all take care of itself but if
you're sacrificing and pushing your life aside and suffering on your way to
trying to get someplace you'll never get there it will always elude you because
once you get there you'll just have to upgrade it and that's because that's all
you will know now is that purest form of sanity living in this moment and
enjoying it and all the rest of it will sort of work its way out another new way
of being for me is to think of yourself in terms of personal authority rather
than being an authoritarian personal authority a person who has authority
never needs to dominate anyone else ever dominating doesn't become necessary in
business you can have a Thor the people who have the most authority are the ones
who listen the most and the ones who are the most conscientious about what do
other people have to say a person in a relationship who has to dominate
somebody else and have to make the other person submissive shows that they don't
have authority because they're getting their power not from within for
themselves but on the basis of who they can control and that never lasts that
never left the only thing that lasts is having inner power if you will know
thyself so Shakespeare said know thyself the more you know yourself the more you
the more you become honest with yourself honesty becomes just a way of life no I
don't think the world necessarily does but you can't run your world you can't
run your world based upon what the rest of the people in the world want or don't
want to me honesty is like it's a karma that goes out
to the world how people 3u in the world is their karma how you react is yours
and what when you react to it with dishonesty that's what you're putting
out into the world dishonesty and when you put this on honestly out into the
world that's what's going to come back to you because what goes out is what
comes back at all as you sow so shall you reap I mean it's in every great
institution that there is in the world what whether it's a religion or a
philosophy or whatever what you put out is what comes back whatever you plant is
what you're going to get back and the more that you put out honesty just
because it's what you are because you are being honesty you're not trying to
be honest you're just being honesty then that's
what will come back to you on a regular basis and when it doesn't you'll just
see that as another test for you to pass and finally a fifth way of being that is
new for me and because become a way of life it's called serenity instead of
acquisitions the more you try to acquire the more you try to get the more you try
to collect in your life and evaluate yourself on the basis of that the less
serenity you're going to have more is less it's almost a secret of the
universe serenity means inner peace means that
you can find joy in every moment that you have in your life instead of always
looking for it it means that while you are driving along the countryside you
know and seeing instead of saying this is I'm on my way to this point that you
can open your eyes and see it with new eyes see see the rolling mountains see
the grass see the deer see the sky see you can just stop wherever you are in
this second wherever you are and just look around you and you can begin to
appreciate just your and your surroundings in your environment then
you can begin to appreciate the people that are in your life and even the ones
that are negative and then you're having the most difficulty with you can
practice a new way of being with them which is sending them love sending them
flowers send them books enema take send them something
to see what kind of reaction that you get super emotional health is just an
attitude an attitude is everything I want to love summarize these new ways of
being and again give you the most important ingredient on the path as we
leave I said that it's quality in your life to be focusing on rather than
appearances and it's ethics rather than rules and it's knowledge rather than
achievement all the time and it's being personally an authority on yourself
rather than authoritarian trying to be dominant dominating someone else or to
be dominated and serenity which is the name of my little girl my youngest
daughter Serena rather than acquisitions and accumulations and trying to prove
yourself that way and when you get that serenity which comes from the way that
you think always then you will replace all of the other junk that keeps you
back here between 6 and 1 on that clock and once you pass it once you get past
it you'll never ever be able to go back because the light living in the light is
a way of a way of being that if you're not there you don't get it yet but once
you see it and once it begins to take over your life you can never go back
that that is your purpose it isn't your purpose isn't to try to be
loving your purpose is to be loved and only have that to give away well but
there's one other ingredient and it's really crucial forgiveness is the vital
ingredient on the path of enlightenment and if you don't know how to do it and
practice sending out love take the person or the people that you're having
conflict with any place in your life send them something you don't have to
even do it physically just send them something that comes from inside and
what's inside is how you choose to think and if you can make that love and do
that and that is to me the test not whether you can love someone when they
smell good when they do everything that you're supposed to but whether you can
love someone who sent you hate or anguish in your life
and send it back you don't have to forget you don't have to go back but you
got to get it out of you because it is blocking you and holding you back and
when I said you'll see it when you believe it all my life I had wanted to
write fiction a parable three four years ago I decided to go off to Hawaii to
Maui the kind of Polly Beach and to write now the books that had met the
most difference in my life were a little prince candied Siddhartha Jonathan
Livingston Seagull illusions Alice Through the Looking Glass Gulliver's
Travels parables teaching parables stories that can tell a message I went
over to Molly and I sat down on the beach and I've been talking about
writing this I've been talking about doing this and it was something that I
have a little girl and her name is Skye SK ye I decided to reverse the letters
in their name ey K s and put an eye in there which symbolizes the self I kiss
and I just created this parable of a woman whose name as I kiss who lives on
another planet the planet is Uranus and it's a duplicate mirror image of Earth
only I kiss can only see things as they are not as we would like them to be and
therefore people are neurotic on Uranus because they have to be she gives the
anxiety attack report if you will because anxiety really does attack over
there and tell us about anxiety coming in on the weekends and so on while my
visitor in my parable goes to Uranus meets ICA's she cannot understand as he
describes earth why people would be neurotic by choice on earth why would
anybody be unhappy or depressed or miserable when they don't have when
anxiety doesn't attack and when elevators really don't scare you and
when if you want a complex on the arena so you want to give a complex to your
wife you go to the store and buy one it's just what happened well my husband
gave me a complex you know and it's true whereas on earth if you have a complex
it's because you've chosen to have once you can't figure it out
okay cuz he comes here observes our people and begins to see the secrets of
the universe and gives us these secrets talks to the top leaders in our field
and that was my parable and I wrote it it gives all of these wonderful secrets
some of which I've been talking about here today but what I want to tell you
is that my wife gave me a license plate and the license plate says I kiss okay
it's a vanity plate and I was pumping gas on federal highway in Fort
Lauderdale Florida and a little man from Greece came up to me and he said but
means this fy8 which is how you say that in Greek and I said well that's just a
word it's my daughter's name spelled backwards it's a parable that I wrote he
said no he said in Greek that's a word so what could that be he said it means
best wishes for all you'll see it when you believe it
a great big erroneous on the cosmic erroneous own if you get this one you'll
have it and understand it all there is no way to happiness happiness is the way
god bless you
you
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