• From jumping out of windows to driving a car into a fence, the Planet Dolan crew
re-enact some of the best true stories from our subreddit about the most desperate things
we've done to attract someone.
I'm Melissa – or – Doopie and today I'll be your narrator.
Number 10 was submitted by drez101 Grgak When Grgak was in 5th grade, there was a girl,
Melon, who always talked about her makeup kit and lipstick.
One day, he went up to her and asked, "Do you want a date?"
She blushed and said, "Well, if you drink out of a toilet, I will let you be my boyfriend."
Grgak gulped, but agreed and went to one of the toilets, which happened to have pee and
the biggest shit he ever saw in it… but that did not stop him.
He plunged his head down and drank it.
After 10 seconds, he stopped and, after texting a photo of himself with shit all over his
face, Grgak and Melon ended up getting together.
Number 9 was submitted by Mosshoof Ramona The most desperate thing Ramona ever did to
attract someone was self-mutilation.
After moving to the USA, she didn't fit in at all.
But there was one boy she saw every day at lunch who was sort of goth, but not TOO goth.
Ramona didn't know how to get his attention.
She gradually figured out he was in the goth crowd and eavesdropped a lot.
Always having been a raver, she said she liked Korn and Slipknot, bought the expensive Hot
Topic clothes… but that still wasn't enough.
It came down to her carving a pentagram into her hand with a safety pin.
She's not even sure if that's what did it, but they ended up going out for two months
without so much as saying "Hello."
They did brush each other's hands against one another a few times.
Ramona guesses they were both really shy, but they eventually drifted apart, though
she still has an amazing scar.
Number 8 was submitted by Killerdogs1276 Pandora When Pandora was in 6th grade, there was a
boy she wanted who was at her friend's sleepover.
They were all outside, so Pandora said, "I'm going to get something."
She ran upstairs to the second floor and jumped out the window.
She jumped she wanted to land either on him or the ground and make him feel sorry for
her.
But instead she landed on a stone slab and broke her arm.
He did feel sorry for her.
After seeing him again, Pandora fell into an electric fence and got an electric shock.
She decided to never do that again.
Number 7 was submitted by iliketrainsgirl Danger Dolan
Dolan was 19 when he was in driving school and had a crush on a girl in his class.
When it was time for the driving test, he climbed into the car and saw her.
Wanting to impress her, he started it up and yelled, "Hey, wanna see something cool?"
She said 'yes,' and being dumb he tried to flip the car on the fence by driving really
fast towards it.
The driving teacher screamed, "What are you doing?!"
Dolan hit the fence and broke the car, but she did date him for being 'brave.'
Number 6 was submitted by doopyisawesome Nixxiom When Nixxiom was in school he liked a girl
but hated her friends, who were mean.
One day, for no reason, the girl stood up for Nixxiom and told off her friends when
they were making fun of him.
After that they started talking on an app on their phones for several months.
When he finally asked her out, she said, "Only if you run into the sign on the field and
say it's for 'team spirit.'"
Of course, being the hormone-filled teen he was, Nixxiom said he would do it and ran into
the sign… while the principal was giving a speech!
Worst of all was that the principal was right in front of the sign when he ran into it.
Nixxiom hit the sign and then saw black.
When he woke up, he was in the nurse's office with the principal, his mom, and the girl
at his side.
Although he ended up getting a concussion, Nixxiom and the girl dated for two months
but then broke up with her because she was too clingy.
Number 5 was submitted by ThatguyJeff101 Hellbent When he was in college, there was a girl that
Hellbent was head over heels for but couldn't bring himself to ask her out.
He finally worked up the courage to ask her out, but she gave him a soft and honest no...
but he wasn't about to give up.
He decided to lay a trail of rose petals from her dorm to his, but before that he lit a
bunch of candles in his dorm and put a condom on his bed.
So he started the trail, and it was hard work.
When he was on the last hundred feet, Hellbent was going straight for 19 hours but an eagle-eyed
teacher noticed and asked him what he was doing.
Hellbent explained, and she understood and simply walked off.
After that, he was done and rang her doorbell and then ran back to his dorm.
Ten minutes later, the girl opened the door to his dorm and… well, they had a good time!
Number 4 was submitted by IzAnimationZ Ladybot Ladybot was staying over at a friend's house
during the school year.
With her friend living in another county, they had to take a bus to get to her house.
On the bus, all the way in the back where they were going to sit was a really cute girl,
Sharpie, and being the useless lesbian Ladybot was, tried to talk to her.
Ladybot didn't realize that she had been told to sit down by the bus driver.
So when the bus started moving, she ended up falling in Sharpie's lap.
Ladybot said, "I guess I'm falling for you."
In her state of being confused and really embarrassed, she went on to sing, "Hit Me
Baby, One More Time" as loud as she could.
When they got back to her friend's house, Ladybot played the ukulele and sung about
how she was gay.
She recorded the song and sent it to Sharpie, who eventually thought she was really cute
and they've been dating ever since.
Number 3 was submitted by HeroNinja105 MKyleM The most desperate thing MKyleM ever did to
attract someone was something he regrets.
During 4th grade he had puppy love and told his crush that he could jump off the playset
and not break anything.
The playset was tall, so when he got up to the top MKyleM jumped off and broke his leg
and almost his arm.
He was rushed to the hospital, with his mom yelling, "Why would you do that?"
MKyleM didn't answer and just cried instead.
The next day, though, his crush thought he was cool and signed his cast.
They got together but, a year later, MKyleM and his family had to move to the opposite
side of the USA.
Number 2 was submitted by SmolKawaiiNeko Spincess The most desperate thing Spincess ever did
to impress someone was going down a very steep hill on a bike.
She liked a boy, Tolop, who lived in her neighborhood and hung out with him from time to time.
They lived in a neighborhood that had a really, REALLY steep hill.
One day, they were playing outside when Spincess asked, "Do you want to see me go down the
hill on a bike?"
Tolop wanted to see it, so she went to her house, grabbed her bike, and walked back to
him.
She got on the bike and sped down the hill.
Well, she went way faster than expected, and screamed, "Ah, damn it, damn it, damn it,
damn it!"
Spincess ended up losing control of the bike and ran right into a car.
She flew onto the hood and the alarm went off.
The owner of the car came out of her house, and Spincess and Tolop explained what happened.
The woman forgave them, and Spincess started dating Tolop because he thought it was really
brave of her to do what she did.
They still laugh about it to this day.
Number 1 – What was the most desperate thing I've done to attract someone?
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