Why Introverts Like Being Alone [Backed by Science]
Introverts need plenty of quiet downtime.
Spend too much time socializing, or just "out and about" too much in noisy stores or coffee
shops, they are easily get mentally drained and even physically tired.
Introverts often get cranky and short with people.
Every little annoyance, such as a crying baby in public, seems magnified for them.
They always thought that holing up in the house for a day or two are great to recharge.
In this video, I'm going to show you the reasons why introverts like being alone.
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Recent research shows that extroverts get worn out by socializing too.
So it's not just introverts who need to rest after chatting and meeting new people.
Nevertheless, there are some real differences between introverts and extroverts.
On average, introverts really do prefer solitude more than extroverts, and extroverts are more
driven to engage in social interactions that elevate their social attention and status.
So, scientifically speaking, why do introverts need more solitude than extroverts?
The answer is found in the wiring of our brains.
Introverts Respond Differently to Rewards
One of the reasons introverts enjoy alone time has to do with how introverts respond
to rewards.
Rewards are things like money, sex, social status, social affiliation, and even food.
When you get promoted at work or convince an attractive stranger to give you his or
her phone number, you're gaining a reward.
Of course, introverts care about things like earning money, eating, and having relationships
too.
But researchers hypothesize that introverts respond differently than extroverts to rewards.
When compared to extroverts, introverts are less engaged, motivated, and energized by
the possibilities for rewards around them.
So, they talk less, are less driven, and experience less enthusiasm.
In fact, they may find levels of stimulation that are rewarding and energizing for extroverts
to be tiring or annoying.
What makes introverts less motivated by rewards?
It was to do with a chemical found in the brain called dopamine.
Dopamine helps control the brain's pleasure and reward centers.
It enables us to notice rewards and take action to move toward them, and it reduces the "cost
of effort," meaning, it increases how much a person is willing to work for the possible
reward.
Extroverts appear to have a more active dopamine reward system than introverts.
This means that extroverts' brains become more active at the sight of a possible reward,
and dopamine energizes them to pursue that reward.
Introverts' brains just don't get as active as extroverts' at the expectation of a reward.
Why Introverts Enjoy Alone Time
Thinking about introversion in terms of rewards makes sense.
Because introverts care less about obtaining rewards, we're less motivated to do things
that extroverts find immediately rewarding, such as socializing.
DeYoung said that "Introverts are indeed often drained by socializing, but that's
partly because the effort required may not seem worth it because the rewards from socializing
seem less to them.
Extroverts get drained by socializing too, but they are more motivated to engage in it
anyway, and it probably takes more socializing before they start to feel drained.
Anything that involves expenditure of energy will be draining eventually."
To fully understand what DeYoung is saying, imagine two friends, one an extrovert, the
other an introvert, at a house party on a Saturday night.
They're crammed in a small room with thirty other people.
Loud music blasts from huge speakers, and a few people are playing video games on a
big screen TV.
Everyone is practically shouting to make their voice heard over the din.
There are a dozen conversations going on at once, and a dozen things to pay attention
to.
For the extrovert, this "level of stimulation" might be just right.
He sees possibilities for reward everywhere, an attractive stranger across the room, potential
new friends, and people who will give him the social attention he craves.
He feels energized and excited to be at the party.
So motivated, in fact that he stays late into the night.
He's worn out the next day and needs some downtime to recover, but to him, the energy
spent was well worth it.
The introvert, on the other hand, finds this environment tiring and punishing.
It's too loud, there are too many things to pay attention to, and all the people in
the room create a dizzying buzz of activity.
The introvert simply isn't interested (to the same degree as the extrovert) in the possibility
of social rewards around him.
The introvert makes up an excuse and gets out of there.
He heads for home, where he watches a movie with his roommate before going into his bedroom
to read alone.
In his own apartment, alone or with just one other person, the level of stimulation feels
just right.
Extroverts Are More Stimulated by People
Finally, a recent study found that extroverts are more stimulated by seeing people but introverts
paid more attention to inanimate objects.
The researchers studied a group of different people and recorded the electrical activity
in their brains through an EEG.
As participants were shown pictures of both objects and people, the researchers evaluated
their brains' P300 activity.
This activity happens when a person experiences a sudden change in their environment; it gets
its name because the activity happens within 300 milliseconds.
Interestingly, researchers found that extroverts who saw pictures of flowers and faces achieved
the P300 response from viewing the images of faces, while the introverts only had the
P300 response from pictures of flowers.
This doesn't mean that introverts dislike people, but what it could mean is extroverts
place more significance on people than introverts do.
Are You Getting Enough Alone Time?
As an introvert, it can be hard to get enough alone time.
You may feel guilty when you decline a social invitation or tell your significant other
you want a night to yourself.
However, not getting enough alone time can affect you physically and emotionally.
According to Dr. Marti Olsen Laney in her book The Introvert Advantage: How Quiet People
Can Thrive in an Extrovert World, you may not be getting enough alone time if you regularly
experience some of these symptoms:
Trouble sleeping or eating; Frequent colds, headaches, back pains, or allergies; Feeling
anxious, agitated, irritable, and "snappish"; Unable to think, concentrate, or make decisions;
Confused and discombobulated, as if you are dashing from thing to thing in a blur; Trapped
and wondering what is the meaning of life; Drained, tired, and put-upon; Disconnected
from yourself.
What should you do?
Make it a priority to include downtime in your day, even if it's only 30 minutes of
relaxing in your bedroom.
Your introverted brain demands it!
Well, that's the scientific reason why introverts like being alone.
Really cool information isn't it.
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