Hi beautiful people! This is like my third video. I want to talk to you guys about actually about some personal stuff
things like that. we staying on topic this time, you know it's
Its real rare, but
Im also real tired
I went to sleep real late last night. So work with me
just to push yall into perspective
I go to Central State University in Ohio. It's an HBCU.
I am at one of my battles right now. You guys know that a battle is something that
pushes you out of your comfort zone, and that's one of the biggest things going on right now and
I
Just Wanna
To be honest..this is a purposeful channel with that being said you're going to hear the word purpose alot. If you don't like the word then you know
this probably is not for you. Especially if you connected with me and things like that
Insight on my story
You know as a young child my dad and mom both installed the importance of education to us
So I never want to downplay that or anything like that
But you know it's something real big and important to our household also me in many ways
but I
Want to say that school for me.. It's always been
school
i think for alot of people that makes sense. it wasn't like a
Huge hierarchy or something i put way up there with that being said
But I always still was on the honor roll and got good grades from high school and things like that, so it's not that
I didn't try or even you know failed it's just something like.. You know I went with the flow.
It was like never
I put my all into it. So it was actually kind of had some type of you know natural intelligence
it was no need for me to just
put so much into it
I started on a young age probably 13 14
Practicing what is called self-love, self-respect and knowledge of self.
It helped me so much.
With that being said I found this new way of life outside of school
I learned you could learn information without you know being
forced. With me it was like.. (you know see the books behind me.. even though it's not my biggest library collection and things like that I have books packed away)
It was something I loved. You know something i fiend for. So it was never
You know something that had be forced on me. I've found a love for
Knowledge. My purpose to help people and my passion is my people. If that makes sense. You know I found a way to
connect the two which will be with activism and
community organizing, and you know being a spiritual healer and things like that and also
wanting to own my own businesses.
But you know and youth speaking also, but you know it also
made me
develop a clash with the education system and the school system
I seen alot of things that didn't rub with me the right way
But that's with any human being or even conscious human being when it takes us out of our comfort zone we find ways to attack it
but
You know it's just like a wrestling also because something I love which is knowledge was now
Something was forced upon me if that makes sense
And I said when I say forced upon me it's kind of like
You know it took the fun out of it
if that makes sense, and I was kind of looking for a deeper meanings and things so I just that
You know I wasn't um.. I believe that I had to get into my head that i'm not lazy
I wasn't lazy it's just that it wasn't for me it sounds so weird, and wrong you know don't drop out of nothing
Please especially if you know where you going or even have any type of
Basis or foundation. That's a key word.
If yall follow me on this channel and we're going to get more into things like that but
It's important to you know
Y'all this going to contradict what I say but y'all got to play the game. You know play the system. You know sometimes you're going have to you know
Um Gather some tools to fight. You know with what we go through
Which is that is education with that being said though you know
I had too much freedom with things that I lack discipline man
You know what im saying I could read know a whole book by myself
without anybody having to tell me to. So I'm like you know it's not a big deal I got this but
When something is forced upon me and I had to it in a certain amount of time, it's kinda like uhhh. It's such a struggle
Passionate and love provoked person. This me. If it don't feel right. I aint with it
You know i'm half doing it. I'm being honest
so
Fast forward into.. oh yeah, and I'm being honest high school was a hard time for me. I didn't care for it. It's like usual
the only thing i really cared for was you know the information more than
the standardized test and things like that, I think for the information not only that the connection with the students
I got to speak to. Man, I loved that part
about highschool. Joining clubs and getting to speak to a lot of people. You know. The preacher kid and things like that. Not a preacher's kid
like a kid who preaches a lot.
But you know skips to
college
to be honest
You know you don't have to.. this the silliest thing ever but
You don't have to go to college to be activist. You just become one you just be one
important thing to remember
but I went to college instead, and I think I um
Excuse me. I think I really messed up when I said you know. I'm not going for me. I'm going for everybody else
all my people you know to get a insight you know. Gain the
You know the pro-black perspective. You know the black history and the knowledge that way and many things much in life
But I thought. I know I would be and I thought you know a double threat if I got both
You know how many times you hear college students
You know saying that they are there to retain information to bring back to the community? Whoa!
Thats was something big for me
But now it's kind of like
Is college or any type of environment like that is good for me?
Is it hindering me? Or actually you know taking me to the steps I need to be because
No matter what I try to do I could not force myself to work in environments that's not meant for me.
You know something real deep to think about. You know think about. I made a post
Probably yesterday. Yesterday it said
"sometimes you have to come with terms that
God has plans for you higher than the vibrations you have been
the frequencies you have been vibrating at" and that's been always been something for me but
You know so it's things like that, and I realize that
I'm still in this game. I ain't never giving up. You know tripple threat
always gon have that mindset.
For my people and things like that. You know we play strategic and chess not checkers.
Something to remember so it's not giving it's just that I have
to re...
Refix myself you know I got a build-up like what they say animo to
Get ready to you know deal with my challenges or next step which is will be higher education
Not dealing with doing it on their terms, and what my goal was or you know something?
I came to decide was is starting somewhere smaller. I dont like giving out all my information you can say that I'm I
paranoid
But you know not say something small like you know community college or something. It's nothing wrong with that like I said like it's knowledge
but um
Thats the big thing and imma be honest. I didn't do so well in school. This kind of getting me to the conclusion
you know the fighter in me. I um practice what I preach and preach what I practice
You know I will fight to the end. No matter I'm uncomfortable, if i feel like i shouldn't be there.
you know
Fighting. And i notice that was my way of going with the status quo. Instead of being where I should be
Or my spirit was guiding me. Which is the point where I finally get to live in peace.
I'm not hurt, but you know a little piece
I've been struggling for a long time and force myself to do things I don't wanna do and now it's like it's time to
Grow you know I was just..
I was not growing honestly, I think I was
placing myself in
places that forced me to fight
So I can feel like I actually accomplished small things because I believe I get into that higher place
I supposed to be or even environment where I can really just
Blossom you know the unimaginable will happened. And that's my plans right now and one thing, I want to say is that
um
I been living for other people for a long time. Yall, I put this on myself in it. It's amazing
I love it. It''s my purpose and my passion things like that, but it's.. I realized at a point in time.. it was like
For me to do anything first. I have to live for myself and it was something that you know hit me. I didn't understand that and
thats all im trying to do and I realized that
Since I was um you know started this journey people noticed a lot of changes in me
So people high hopes for me, or.. whether it was like relationships. You know college you know
Purpose activism or speaking and things like that it was kind of like
You here for a reason and oh my god (that's deeper than anything) and I don't know if yall can see but yeah
I keep (I don't like to use their names in vain. I dont feel like i have the right to use them unless.. until I
Bring them back in a way.) Which is *Tamir (Tamir Rice), Sandra bland and you know my other loved ones.
But y'all this is the journey right now, and this is the hardest thing and this video came about from
I'm a thinker and with that being said (you can call it procrastinator) Im a thinker which means that I
Think long-term. I do not think short time. So if you put me in situations
where I have to quickly make you know
Long life decisions, I will back back. I would not
make the right one or I would you know..
compromise myself and I'm not for that. But..I'm making this conversation or because my mom was talking to me about things you know. This is the thing.. I love my momma and
She did what a mom was suppose to do when we was
talking she was like you know you know you need a transcribe and things like that was like
I don't want to talk to my advisor. If I don't know exactly where I want to go yet. And that's my
problem right now
and then I make post or even I know myself cuz
My mind is set up you like (you know better you do better)
I know that when you are at a place where it's still. You stay... not you stay there. You sit there
And you listen to yourself, and I'm not in a..
With this thing from she was just talking to me yesterday. It put me.. this how i literally
do. I had sat here and had conversations like that one. *This one myself
But it rushes me in a sense. It don't get me time enough to you know figure out
what's best for me or even you know make those life-changing decisions even if it's you know step by step process
But yall it's really going to be real interesting
It's a lot going on and I realize that I did put a lot on myself
And I still do but I know it's going to get done and it's
If I don't do it then who's gonna do it? I'm just being real with y'all. Real stuff.
If I'm not going to accomplish my dream who's going to do it for me?
Nobody
And that's the way you got to look at things sometimes
Yeah, and y'all im coming to yall looking hit! You know all types of ways because you know, this is the real me.
Like I always say I still look beautiful.. but that's me
But it's not my you know "fashioned up" and things like that
You know ugly lip color.. you know we chillin right now
Im just being funny yall. I know im getting off topic
(My nose itching that's why i keep on twitching it)
My purposeful people keep on going! and like I say my Wildflowers! And I mean this. My innovators! My intellectuals!
You know my influence y'all feel me! It's hitting home and you know basically y'all want to know who my audience is?
Go to TedX
TedX, ted talks those are my people
You know I'm saying my activist
My revolutionaries, my thinkers and things like that. A lot of the times... um I'm a self-taught person remember that
So confined environments are not meant for me anything that limit me in a way
It's not meant for me and I fight against it!
So that's where I'm at in this battle yall.
So rather it's organized religion. Things like that.. Im a very very spiritual person which means I'm trying to get closer to God in the
closes way I can and the god in me. It's kind of contradicting i'll have to
talk to yall about religion one day, but
Y'all is it's really a process
And I really have high hopes for myself and one thing
I think and been thinking too it's like.. as long as I confine to certain things the less imma find myself!
You know.. I mean the longer it's going to take for me to find myself
That means, me starting my own brand. You know what im saying things... you know me
Finding something permanent for myself
We being honest! A lot of my friends and family.. like Nisha we love you
But you can say I have commitment issues to certain things because it's kind of like
Like I said i dont like limiting myself
So if I don't know if it's for me for sure, i'll push away from it.
You know what i'm saying and things like that, or I just don't trust a lot of stuff fully
And one thing I always trust is myself, so I rode with that hard
Nobody going to go hard for me like i'm going to go hard for myself and things like that, but
Yall this is the journey and basically it's kind of like I
I know for a fact... I'm not going back to school too it's kind of bittersweet. I feel like it's bittersweet too because it's like
I'm letting a lot of people down in a sense! Or.. No im not letting a lot of people down. I'm leaving potential!
Potential is something amazing.. I don't like closing relationships
period. I had a choice to go to um..
(You know im from Detroit.) I'm in Detroit right now
So you know I'm saying the higher schools was Cass and Renaissance
And I chose to stay at Oak Park High School. Just because it's like.. I like to struggle
I was with my people and things like that
But you know that's just me a little bit. So even when leaving Central State. I'm trying to go... (listen im not leaving forever)
I'm really trying to come back yall. I'm trying to come back after
First semester (one semester) at community or even..
Both semesters (One year). My goal is to (I'm not calling it my home yet..) because umm...
My spirit feeling a little weird right now, but you know what im saying
so the biggest thing was like...
Also! it's like its pressure because.. It's like people don't see what you doing! They dont see what your going through when
you're not going on the same path as everybody else. To them it's like you're sitting on your butt
You ain't doing this and that. But to you it's kind of like I'm trying to figure out where I'm at! I can't settle in life! Thats..
I aint gonna get into it cuz I don't feel like dealing with a lot of backlash
And things like that, but those who know, people know, what I'm talking about we don't settle for
short time things! For um quick...
What you call it? Quick gratification! Yeah? It's not.. it's not something for me
and then like I said it's
Yall this real right now. This is what im going through
I Hope y'all good! You know y'all stay blessed, and stay positive! (I really wish I did this video more made-up.) And not like this because i would of liked it more
Peace! Much Love! Stay true and Stay real! Thank you! Bye Bye!
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