- Welcome to today's episode
Tai Lopez Show.
I'm back at the Brazilian restaurant.
This is my new little spot to do these podcasts.
If you saw my snapchat,
we were just playing some basketball.
How many basketball players do we have?
Seven famous females came.
And kicked butt.
But I want to talk about the three reasons people are,
they fail at everything they try at life, most people.
Now, I got a special guest star on here.
She calls herself the black Italian.
That's not my
and she was just telling us,
this is the most interesting thing.
Because the number one reason people
aren't successful is they're stubborn.
They won't change.
So I was talking about how I like to try to read people.
She told me when she was
in kindergarten to sixth grade,
this one boy, this one boy that she thought was cute
and gonna be cute
he kind of was mean to her.
So now fast forward, she's in her 20's
and she realized this guy turned out
to be super good-looking, or in her own words
Fine as fuck, that's what she said, okay?
She said fine as fuck.
And she said, I said well why don't you
reach back out to him?
She said well I went on his Facebook,
I mean he Facebook friend tried to request me
and I didn't accept.
I said why?
She goes because he was mean to me in sixth grade.
I said, and she, this is her exact,
you gotta learn to listen,
you gotta be like Sherlock Holmes.
You want to be good at business, you gotta read people
and this is her exact words.
She said
I literally can't friend him back.
Like which is not a truthful statement, you could!
What you should say is I literally will never, I won't.
So trust me
so many people,
I was just talking about there's a bitcoin,
my friend, this guy named Brock Pierce,
back in 2008 I had dinner with him
and he was getting into cryptoworld and all this.
If I had invested back then a hundred bucks
I'd have 75 million from it.
But if you tell people that to change their routine,
most people won't change.
So the main takeaway from this episode is
you need to suck it up,
you need to be a grown woman,
and you need to give somebody a second chance.
If they were mean to you as a six-year-old,
you cannot hold that against them.
- (mumbles)
- No, because when a boy is six,
that's how he expresses that he likes you.
You pick on girls when you're little.
Exactly!
He was actually being nice to you.
- Had asthma attacks at recess every year.
- He had asthma attacks at recess because
he was so nervous because he,
he thought you were so beautiful,
that he was dying.
You almost killed him.
- (mumbles)
- Trust me, do you ever, this,
show of hands, is there anybody
here in your family that you guys have
family member that's so stubborn
that success could be right at the door
but if you tell them to go there
and it's not their idea,
they ain't gonna do it.
They're stubborn.
One of my brothers is that way.
This is a true story about one of my brothers.
I was telling them I used to
live at the Amish when I was young.
And I lived there for two years.
He came and lived with me when he was 12.
And the Amish don't have electricity
and you've gotta use fire to keep warm.
So you have a little heater that you put wood in.
We woke up at five in the morning.
It was frozen cold.
So I tried to light the fire back up,
put some wood, I couldn't do it.
My brother came and he said,
step aside, let the master do it.
That's literally what he said to me.
So I was like okay, you want to start it?
So I'm eating cereal, I look out
of the corner of my eye,
he had taken kerosene,
which is not the same as gas, kerosene,
he had squirted it on the wood.
Now the thing about kerosene is
if there's only coals,
it's not like gas.
Gas will start right up.
Kerosene creates a bomb, okay?
So my brother, I see out of the corner of my eye,
I finally realized what he was doing
when he had a match like this.
He was kneeling in front of it
looking inside.
He through the match in,
it exploded, a fireball goes woosh,
and then went right back in.
Crazy thing about my brother?
He never moved.
He was so stubborn he had decided he was gonna lean forward.
It didn't matter if a fireball,
it burned all his eyebrows off, eyelashes,
and it was a Sunday.
So the Amish have this long church service.
He walks in to church.
And everybody's like, what's that smell?
It smells like a burning human.
Well the point is, don't be like my brother.
If things change, you get new evidence,
you've gotta change your actions.
Like the second he saw that thing explode
jump out of the way.
For you, if you've got the man of your dreams
and the the only problem was he was a mean,
he had a heart attack, not a heart attack,
but an asthma attack at six,
can a man get a pass?
Men get held to too high a standard by women.
- (mumbles) and I wouldn't accept the friend request.
He did request me on Instagram.
And I follow all of his businesses that he's put on.
So I definitely support his businesses.
- We're back.
Let's talk about stubbornness.
What's the difference between Facebook and Instagram?
You just admit,
Facebook's more professional than Instagram.
Yeah!
- Instagram is different.
- See when you're stubborn,
you limit your opportunities.
Don't limit, what if he is, let me ask you this,
what if it turns out he is your dream perfect soul mate
and he ends up marrying another woman
and you realize it three years from now?
You didn't even give it a chance?
No, don't be overly optimistic.
That's not life.
That's not how life works.
One of the greatest businessman of all time,
Charlie Munger, he's 92.
He says life,
very few lives are full of opportunity.
Most people only get a few chances.
You ain't getting a million soul mates in life.
If you meet one, you better take advantage of it.
We got a Mormon here.
Is this a mashup with the Book of Mormon?
Nah.
I new there was something innocent about her, I'm like
You're not a typical LA girl.
And then she's like I just moved here from Utah.
So like, that'll do it.
That'll do it.
Okay so that's number one.
Uh, what do you think number two,
number two reason people are not successful?
Stubbornness is number one.
This is my experience.
Not a go-getter, procrastination.
Those are all good.
Fear.
Insecure.
Those're all good ones.
I think that like,
to me like,
the second reason is people are overly sensitive.
So what happens is like,
you tell somebody good advice,
and there's a saying in the Bible,
correct a
wise person and they will love you.
Correct a fool and they get mad at you.
So like how many times have people told
have you told someone good advice and they
not only do they not listen,
but they literally get mad at you.
So that's over-sensitivity.
You'll tell some people,
like I've told,
this guy came up to me at a conference.
He's like aw, dude, I wanna make a million dollars.
And I knew his business,
and I was like I've been in that business,
and I remember how to make over, you know,
ten million bucks in that business.
And I told him one thing, and he was like
so what are you trying to say?
I'm not smart?
I'm like dude, you just asked me for advice
then you got a,
that's how sensitive this generation is.
Trust me.
Go on Twitter.
Everybody's whining about everything.
So don't be overly-sensitive.
And with that, we're gonna take a commercial break
because we're trying to get this girl
to get more wine in her system.
We're interviewing her for question number three
after the meal.
When she's a little more,
a little less sober.
If you notice that bottle,
who's that bottle closest to?
She strategically moved it.
- (mumbles)
- Welcome to part three,
or the third tip of why people are not successful.
I just had this whole table.
Everybody here take a in-depth personality test
that I designed called Life Compass.
And I'm gonna go around,
because everyone wants to know about themselves,
Imma go around,
and it's very fascinating.
So the third reason people are not successful
is because we humans have psychological issues.
Yeah maybe, do you want more wine?
Or are they done?
Oh.
They want more wine before I finish telling them (laughs).
Let's start with you, okay.
Let me tell you, alright.
This is yours.
Yeah.
Joy, okay.
Joy, you want me to start with the good things
or the bad things?
- [Group] Bad.
- No, let's start with the good.
Alright, okay.
So you are
slightly narcissistic.
Yeah, I told you,
we have two identical twins at the table.
- I don't accept anything in this test.
- So her narcissism score out of 100 is a 62.
But this is the more interesting thing about you.
You also love money, a lot.
Yes.
Yes, nice things.
You're also very stubborn.
You got a 23 out of 100 on flexibility.
So you gotta worry that.
But this is my main concern,
because she talked to me about getting married.
You are what's called an anxious avoidant.
This is very rare, and very complicated.
And if you don't fix it,
it'll be a pain in the butt.
So you got a 72 on anxiety.
So in a relationship,
you very much are interpreting,
oh why didn't he text me back?
Like, oh what?
Maybe he found somebody else?
Like, oh!
And like the dude just fell asleep for a nap.
And she's like what's wrong, ah!
Wait, your emoji is like an emoji with three dots,
last time, you sent two dots.
Like, calling your friends like
he's sending me mixed messages right now.
He usually puts a happy face.
But this time he a face, a wink.
Does the wink mean he's leaving me?
Like yeah, but on top of that,
this is the rare, she has a rare,
rare attachment style.
No you said you wanted the bad first.
She's in a, on top of that,
she's an avoidant.
So the dudes,
so what's gonna happen is you're gonna attract guys,
first of all, you're gonna like guys who
don't like you back,
because you get what's called a feedback loop.
Like you don't,
they don't react to you,
they're avoidant themselves.
So you try to text them and they disappear,
which stimulates, it's actually a mental,
there's actual chemicals going on in your brain,
oxytocin, serotonin, dopamine, neuro epinephrine,
all these ones, and yours is like
kinda crazily wired together.
But here's the bad news.
When you finally,
when you find a dude who likes you,
when a guy likes you,
if he gets too into you,
you're like, uh.
You two are like that.
When a guy come along a little too strong.
So basically, if a dude doesn't like her,
she likes him.
But he won't respond back.
If a dude does like her,
she's like uh, what's wrong with this guy.
So there's this, this is very complicated.
It's literally called anxious avoidant.
It's from science a long time ago.
Now the good news about you is that
you're very fair.
That's good.
So that's a great trait.
You're also modest.
Although you're a little, yes, okay.
You have extreme,
do you take medication? - No.
- Ever thought of it? You got 85 on fearfulness.
On anxiety,
so you like think of the worst case all the time.
- But, however, it does pop in my head.
But I've learned to control those thoughts,
or like push them out. - And you cry in movies easily
She gonna fall apart puppies.
Alright, now let's switch to a one case
now we're gonna go to case number 2.
Alright.
Annie.
Some of these tests I'm concerned.
When you learn to read people sometimes
you will be like oh my god.
So you are, okay.
You want the good news or the bad news?
You're not modest.
So you will look in the mirror and be like
Man, I look good.
- But I do the opposite as well half the time.
- So one thing about narcissism, is
it's false confidence.
Sometimes when I tell people they have narcissistic
tendencies they go,
well isn't that good to love yourself?
But narcissism is, it's literally
technical term is fragile.
So like you'll love,
so what happens is when you're young
if something goes wrong,
it could be a divorce,
people are different.
You start overcompensating.
You ever met somebody who overcompensates confidence?
They're over, because deep down they're actually insecure.
You have a little of that.
That's why you get butthurt easily.
You're very sensitive, and yes.
And you also are very anxious.
And you cry easily.
I'm telling, you two are twins, boy.
We got twin sisters.
You are a, let's see,
And you, yeah, you're even more
anxious avoidant than her.
You will have disaster relationships.
Have you had a great relationship?
- What?
- Zero chance.
When she was four, she had a friend,
who had a neighbor boy,
now that don't count.
When you were an adult.
And also you, here's something good.
You guys are very dreamy.
So you dream about the ideal,
and the ideal it just never comes.
And you, you are dramatic.
Yes.
Has any human that knows you well
ever called you dramatic?
Yes or no, be honest?
- I don't know.
- [Tai] Yes or no.
Mom or dad, brother, sister, guy who dated you.
- Guy who dated me, but he had a lot of issues
like alcoholic.
- So one of the problems is the law of attraction.
If you, you cannot blame your spouse
or your significant other.
You date, you chose them.
You don't live in Afghanistan or Dubai
or Saudi Arabia where you are forced.
So if you lived with an alcoholic, girls.
Or you dated.
This is one of the problems in the world, like
women who outwardly are nice,
they end up with horrible guys,
and they have kids,
and the kids are all fucked up,
because alcoholism is bad.
My dad was an alcoholic.
My mom left when I was a little kid, thank God.
My mom left me with my dad one time
when I was four years old,
I'll never forget.
I can still remember it.
And he was drunk.
He came home all drunk, I was petrified.
I remember being a little kid.
Like drunk guys, scary when you're a little teeny kid.
My dad was a big body builder,
I was like ah!
And he was dating this girl named Valerie,
who thank God called my mom,
my mom had driven me to Long Beach and was driving home,
somehow she got a, either way,
there was no cell phone.
Maybe she called my mom and my mom drove back and got me.
My mom saved the day.
That's one good thing about women,
they usually save the day.
Dudes ruin everything, and women come and save the day.
So you guys have a good heart,
you guys are both nice,
you have somewhat high hexical score.
You both like nice things and money,
you a lot.
She's a Capricorn.
Don't ask me why, but science and astrology,
when you do these tests,
they come out the same so often.
Alright, let's go to the next person.
I told you you're nice,
you're a nice person.
You're nice.
- Like, you're messed up but you're nice.
- Alright.
Now we have Isabella Chubbycheeks.
That's what I put her in my phone.
She has cute little cheeks.
Okay, so Isabella.
You are much more psychologically normal.
- Okay.
- [Offscreen] (mumbles)
- No, I didn't say that.
You can be a teeny bit lazy sometimes,
and you also,
I'm gonna tell you your thing.
So in a relationship,
if a dude gets too close too fast,
you get turned off.
You have that avoidant like, ugh.
It's not that healthy, but
you gotta get over that.
The hardest things to change about
your personality by far,
but you're very modest, that's good.
Guys, find girls that are modest
because ugh.
Girls are already trained by society
to be super into how they look
so if you get a girl who already is double that,
you also like money, by the way.
Scorpios always like the money.
Going back to (mumbles) trust me,
Scorpios are always like oh,
I don't care about money,
and then you like, yeah.
Test doesn't lie.
The test is an x-ray into the brain.
You're also very independent.
Very.
Very.
You got some dependency issues.
- Oh yeah.
- Okay.
Shayna.
What do we got?
We got down here, she's a business,
she's a business woman.
I got some concerns.
As we move down the table,
the concerns begin to rise.
No no no, starting right there,
and move down.
Alright.
So, Shayna.
You can lie a little bit.
You're a little bit of a liar.
I'm surprised.
And you are not modest,
and you definitely like money.
(all laugh)
We have a lot of fearfulness and anxiety at this table.
You're not, you're not anxious.
You two, you
one, two, three, you guys are like every,
you gotta learn to not always think
about the bad and freak out.
You have a, they call this your alert system
in your body.
And you just, have you ever tested
your blood for cortisol?
You should test it, you'll get jacked up cortisol.
I have higher, you know Zach?
The guy that was there shooting?
He, I've never seen, I tested his blood.
He got a seven on cortisol.
It's amazingly good.
I have like, 20.
I'm triple as stressed out as him.
But I, I do more business stuff.
You're a business-woman.
It's a little bit.
You are also extra, wow.
You'd be a tough girlfriend.
Because if she dates a dude and he's like,
I gotta go on a business trip,
she's like bye and then forgets that she's like,
bye, okay.
I'll see you in two weeks.
You're very independent.
You're very independent, don't lie.
You're very independent.
You are very independent.
No, I'm not saying you'll cheat on him.
I'm just saying you're okay with distance.
Call me when you're back.
Yeah, call me when you're back.
Yeah, that's fine.
It's, none of it, there is no good or bad.
This is all how you interpret it.
You are
you can be a little tough to get along with.
You're stubborn.
God, I didn't think you're so stubborn.
I don't believe, has anybody ever called you stubborn?
Yeah like people, I love when people go
I love when people go
no one calls me stubborn except
my mom, dad, and brothers that know me the best.
Besides that, strangers never see it.
But what, here's good news.
You're very hard working.
You don't give up.
And that's a good trait as an entrepreneur.
And in love, you probably don't have
as messed up relationships as,
you're like somewhat normal.
You're a little bit independent,
but you're like
have you had a decent relationship before?
Decent love relationship before?
Yeah, you can predict.
This test pretty much predicts,
she's had a lot of issues,
she had issues,
normal.
Yeah you just don't have,
that counts as an issue.
When you're like I've had no issues
because I've never had a relationship,
that kind of counts unless you're five or something.
Let's see what else.
So that's good, you're an ENFP.
ENFP is, you could be an entrepreneur.
And you do good with people.
Like I'm an ENTP.
I'm more an idea guy, logical like science.
Like I like this, you're more like
people will like you.
You got a good vibe, and you're friendly
and stuff like that.
No, don't thank me.
This is what you said about yourself.
Don't get offended, and don't be,
I'm objective here.
Okay, next.
Alright, who is 4521?
- (answers in foreign language)
- Alright, now we come.
From the beginning, never
once you learn to read people,
always trust your system of reading people.
Because nine times out of ten, it's right.
And this girl here, I'm like
she's the most troubled at this table,
zero doubt in my mind.
Just zero.
And on the Machiavellian showed narcissism, you got
because we played basketball together,
I instantly know how people play basketball.
She's like, where's the ball?
I will win this for us.
She's like
It's four on four?
It could be one on four,
because nobody can guard me, I'm good.
So she has a, which can be good in sports,
she's very confident.
But this Machiavellian one you have to work on.
It's probably, by the way it's genetic.
Do you know your real mom or dad?
- I know my real mother, yeah.
- [Tai] Was she selfish or selfless?
- Selfish.
- So selfishness is related to narcissism,
and you inherited some of that.
You can still adjust for it,
but Machiavellianism, you got a 51.
Were you ever bullied?
But were you, you said you grew up Mormon.
You grew up Mormon.
Did you ever feel a little bit out of place?
You're a mixed girl in Utah.
- No no no, I grew up in Sacremento.
- [Tai] Oh, okay, but you grew up Mormon?
- Well, technically.
- [Tai] So you were around Mormons?
- Yes.
- Because Mormon is the whitest group of people.
We have a Norwegian here.
Norwegians are the second-whitest people in the world.
Like Norway is blond blond blond, so is Utah.
Utah is like Scandinavia landed in America.
- [Offscreen] Tai, you are right.
- But you felt a little bit out of place.
- All the time.
- [Tai] And so what happens is.
- Because I was mixed.
- Yes, she's black, Mexican, and white.
So what happens is you develop this defense mechanism
which is basically you learn how to say
how to be nice to people that you don't really like.
So you know how to like,
especially as a kid.
Because as a kid you can't always,
if there's an adult who's kind of ostracizing you,
kids, it's hard to stand up to adults.
But anyway, you're a little sneaky.
Period.
There's nothing you could say that,
and you, you're a little more psychotic.
You got a 15.
You could punch somebody in the face
if they did something to you bad enough.
Without a doubt, and not feel that bad.
Yeah.
Like
like
like, lemme see what you got.
You got
see I'll give you an example.
You're 0% psychotic.
You rarely, do you think about revenge often?
- Oh, never.
- Yeah, nah.
You've thought about revenge.
Once, twice, maybe right now.
She's plotting revenge against me.
Guys, if this is the last time you hear from me,
you know what happened.
It was her, right there.
So she got,
yeah you got a,
yeah, it's a little concerning.
Now let's see how you are in love.
Oh my God.
Wait is it, you're 4521?
I'm serious, I'm like oh my God.
- Why?
- Okay so you, one cool thing, good thing.
You have like zero fear.
That's why I saw that when you play basketball.
She's like three people hanging on me?
Well I'm going to the hole!
You have an eight,
which is almost like you, what you should do,
is drill a hole in their brains,
take some of their fearfulness out,
and put it in yours.
Because you don't have enough, and they have too much.
And but you have a ton of anxiety.
That's interesting.
So this is the interesting thing.
You could have low fearfulness, but high anxiety.
So for example, she would not be afraid.
Hang gliding.
Skydiving would not freak you out.
Do you have any phobias?
Like going up high, stuff like that?
Like basically, she doesn't think she's gonna ever die.
But anxiety, you
you like work, you think about stuff.
Like you have, I'm gonna tell you this,
when it comes to love,
you have
a serious
like you should actually,
it just said hey Siri.
My phone, I said you have a serious,
and my Siri activated.
Like, I'm not saying this mean.
But you should go see a therapist.
There is zero way you're gonna have a normal relationship.
You will have zero normal relationships.
And I just tweeted this.
Fix your demons, because they're not.
The cycle just keeps coming back.
It just, (vocalizes).
No.
No, whatever you think is normal,
other people know ain't normal.
How old are you?
Twenty-eight?
Twenty-nine.
You've had great relationships.
No.
You have not.
No highschool junior high allowed.
- Oh, fuck no.
- Yeah.
So your personality's not really formed
until you're an adult.
Some scientists don't like to do these tests.
- But my highschool sweetheart
- [Tai] No, no highschool.
Done, done.
- But he, but when we were together in my twenties,
we were together for almost a year.
- [Tai] What happened?
- I broke up with him.
He was too much on me.
- Yeah, you're anxious, we have three
anxious avoidance at this table.
They're only 5% of the population.
One, two, you're the worst of all of them.
- Oh no, I got a lot of them.
- You have, trust me, go to a
here's the thing about a therapist.
Let me just make this, people have
if you're overweight,
and you go to the gym,
and you get a personal therapist,
I mean trainer,
nobody laughs at you.
Everybody has a personal trainer.
Every celebrity guy in LA,
Zach Efron for Baywatch, he got these abs.
His trainer, I know his trainer.
He trained him.
Kobe Bryant had Phil Jackson, had all these great coaches.
There's nothing wrong with having a trainer of the brain.
But you need it.
Because if not
- Wait, but you didn't elaborate on the facts
what's with the whole relationship thing?
- You are anxious avoidant.
So you'll eat, you're just like her.
You'll basically go this way, like when you like a dude.
You'll seek out guys that don't like you but actually
that's going to be attracted, mostly attractive to you
and it's like a little weird game.
And then when a guy who's probably good for you
likes you and he starts to get into you, you're done.
You, you move.
Yeah.
It's not most women, but about,
people have serious psychological problems that,
I just read this book that's insane.
I gotta remember what it was called.
But it basically said what if the world
is like a planet where there's a disease
that you're not supposed to have
but everybody has it so you think that it's normal.
Then by the time you're three or four
you get like, spots like leprosy.
If everybody got the spots, we'd think it's normal.
And then modern society, it's like a fragmented,
there's no community, families are all broken up.
So many people have it.
That's like when you see like hip hop,
like women in hip hop, not to pick on hip,
I love hip hop music,
but some of the stuff that people say,
men and women in music,
it's like classic psychological problems.
You know, they're like women you know, fucking.
I just read a fascinating book.
It's, you don't find,
you don't have to love yourself before you find love.
This is a myth.
You know people say I'm working on myself?
If that was true,
then how could a baby,
you form your love attachment style as a baby.
So do you have to love yourself
before you accept love from your mom?
No!
You're born to be loved.
So it's a, there's so many myths in modern,
another myth in modern society, guys,
men and women tell me Tai,
I'm not gonna get married until
I have my own shit going.
Until I have my own money.
If you read a good book called The Millionaire Next Door,
90% of millionaires were married
way before they were rich.
And very few bachelors ever get rich.
And same with women.
So you're better of to get married young
if you want to make a lot of money
because it settles you down.
Take it from me.
I ain't married.
I'd have a lot more money if I was married.
There's zero doubt,
because when you ain't married
you're like let's go to the club,
you got women are distracting.
So there is a lot of myths in the world,
and we think what we think's right is upside down.
You're ESTP, you should be a sales person.
You and sales, I could totally see you killing sales.
What do you do?
- Well I wanted to actually, I'm studying real estate, so.
- Yeah, you should be just pure sales person.
You can make a lot of money in sales.
Alright.
We have one, who's left?
Okay, I'm interested in these two right here.
Who's 1244?
That's you, okay.
I ain't giving you the whole number.
Guys want these numbers, you can't get them.
Alright, you're an ENFJ.
You'd be a good mom.
Good teacher.
What do you do?
Coach basketball, that's right.
You're in the right business.
You're a feeler, and you're like kind of,
you're a judger.
You have a better relationship style.
You also cry a ton in movies,
you get attached to guys easily.
But, and this is one downside,
you're a little bit narcissistic, too.
You ever dated a narcissist?
Yes, yes.
Narcissists, so you got a 74 on narcissism,
that's pretty high.
Once you get around 70, it's like a psychological problem.
So you're right on the border of like,
a little bit too sure
so one thing is
half the world needs to be less sure of themselves
and half of the world needs to be,
the other half needs to be more sure.
You're on the side needing a little less sure,
less sure, less sure, less sure.
- [Offscreen] Wait, explain that again.
- Are you very sure that you're not sure?
- I don't know.
- She's like I'm sure I'm not sure.
Remember the mind is an impenetrable fortress.
This is what Nietzsche said.
You only learn about your mind
through friends or enemies.
This test is both.
For some people, it's an enemy.
It's very, if you came into a hospital
and they put you under x-ray
and showed you had a broken arm,
would you be like no I don't believe it?
This is an x-ray for your brain.
So you're pretty normal.
You're pretty normal, you just gotta ramp down.
A little bit over-confident.
Trust me, over-confidence can make you just as poor.
There's a ton of studies
that over-confident students get
worse grades and make less money.
Underconfident people also have the same thing.
It's kindof like being too fat or too skinny.
Sometimes it's like, loving yourself too much is like
I love myself too much.
Next thing you know?
And then some people are anorexic.
We don't have too many self-esteem anorexics at this table.
We have a lot of basketball players.
Part of why I made you good.
Okay, what's your last, are you 8859?
Alright, I'm very interested in this.
You're more normal.
I like that she laughed, ha.
You ain't normal.
Okay so your main, here's your main bad thing.
When a guy likes you, you get a little freaked out.
For sure.
For sure.
- I think it's because of my past bad experiences.
- Yes, have you wanted to be,
are you able to tell how old you are on camera, or no?
- I don't know.
- How old are you?
- Twentyseven.
- Have you ever wanted to be married?
- Uh, yeah.
- Has guys ever, have guys wanted to marry you?
Had you had a heart attack when they wanted to
and you backed out of that?
- Well I'm not sure.
- Yeah so basically she's an avoidant which means
a lot of things make you not sure.
Like she's more secure, more secure, more secure so
if a guy's not perfect, they're like eh.
But you're, you, you, you, you are kinda like,
well not you as much, these three
are basically like, yes but,
we all have to settle, because we're gonna die.
(group laughs)
- So I might as well die with somebody I'm not
- No, no no no no.
No, but you won't be happy single either.
- No, I get that.
- You won't be happy, you're a
let me see what.
- Pick and choose your battles, right?
- I'm not an absolute expert because I'm not married
so I don't want to be too cocky about this
but I'll tell you what,
what experts say on this.
You're an ENFP, too.
We have a lot of,
you could do a lot of stuff.
You could work in charity.
You'd be like a good little spokesperson.
You're not an introvert.
Just like I said, she was arguing with me
that she's an introvert.
By the way, anybody who argues with you
about their personality test,
they're almost always extroverts.
That's an extroverted thing,
to be more likely to aggressively engage.
A true introvert if you're like
you're an extrovert, they'll be like oh okay.
That's the introverted.
So, not only do I read the test,
I watch how people take them.
Extremely impatient.
She's like what do my results mean?
What do my results mean?
For thirty minutes.
Yeah but you, you got,
you have to,
think about it this way,
none of us is perfect.
So you get what you are.
So if you got three flaws and seven good things
then you gotta stick with a dude that got seven,
but what happens you're avoidant,
you like stick, you only focus on the negative.
That's what it basically is.
Whereas you'll be more like, eh you know,
he can breathe and he has two arms, he's good.
Where you're like, uh you're not gonna believe this.
Last week, I'll give you an example.
A long time ago, I dated a chick.
And this was before I knew about psychology tests.
And she was very very beautiful.
Be careful guys about the beauty trap.
And so she lived with me in LA
and towards the end when the relationship was not going,
she was going back to the east coast
and we were out at a club
and guys would fall in love with this girl,
and so all these people were like
oh you're going back to the east coast,
he better get you a limo to the airport, okay?
I had told her, by the way.
I'll take you to the airport every
day this week except Tuesday.
And she booked her flight home on Tuesday.
So I said alright, I'm gonna have to get you a car.
So I didn't have very much money back then,
and so the next day when it was time to go,
she's like where's my limo?
I'm like, they were joking and drunk at a club,
why do I have to get you a limo?
So I didn't get her a limo,
I got her a taxi,
and she literally, we didn't talk for two years after that.
Now, that's an example,
you're not that bad.
She was like a hundred.
But basically, she liked all this stuff about me,
but she would fixate on oh, well
what kind of dude doesn't get his girl,
I'm like what the fuck are you talking about a limo?
- (mumbles) the moral and respect part on that (mumbles)
comes and goes, that has (mumbles) more like respect
the (mumbles) I don't play with that.
- Yeah well you, you gotta pick,
it's kind of like in business,
like I look at a business,
I could've done different businesses in hindsight,
would've made me more money.
But you gotta be like
what are my things I won't compromise on?
Sounds like, but that can go down a rabbit hole.
Because you can be like well,
if he ain't a Christian I ain't gonna marry him.
That's moral.
And, oh he's a Christian, but he's a Baptist.
Fuck Baptists, I mean it can go, it can be forever.
- Balance is the key, yes.
- Yes, yeah, because I'm telling you,
you do have to settle sometime
or else you will be 73 years old and you won't
have as much choices at 73.
I'm sure you'll be very beautiful at 73.
Do you want to have kids?
- I don't know, I go back and forth.
- You want to have kids.
The science is in almost every woman who could've
had a kid, who doesn't, has extreme regret.
Now if you can't have them,
some women can't have kids,
and you, you'll be fine, you can adopt or whatever.
But if you could have a kid, it's tough.
- I do, but in this day and time, it's scary.
- Nah, but you're a good mom, so don't worry about that.
You're not gonna be a crackhead mom.
Just don't marry, you know what?
I'm gonna close in this.
We gotta go, it's late.
But one of the main problems is
if you get your wiring messed up,
the perfect guy for you,
you went on a date with him,
and you were like he's kind of boring,
that happens a lot.
That'll happen to you.
You.
You, the good guys, and then the neck tattoo guy,
you'll be like something about him.
There's something about him.
But guys, I was just talking to
Cheekies here as I call her,
little Chipmunk cheeks,
I have learned dude,
some of my friends like like bad girls in LA
I'm like no, no no no no no.
Girls are, I'm not perfect with women,
but I've never dated a psychopath girl, thank God.
I've always dated pretty good girls,
I mean long term.
I've had some short-term girls,
I had a girl steal money from me
and I chased her down in Bellagio,
and I got kicked out of Bellagio for like seven years.
But that was only like the second date.
I came in my hotel room,
this was before I even knew you,
I come in my hotel room,
she's from Canada, she had flown down with like her cousin,
they're like in there taking money out of my room,
and I was so in shock, I just walked in I was like
I thought it was a joke
and then they took off running out of the room.
And I was finally like, I'm gonna go after them.
So I chased them down, went all the way down,
went in the hall,
and I finally was like dude,
I didn't touch the girl but,
the dude, I wasn't gonna tackle a girl.
But it was like 500 bucks.
It was enough money.
And then the police of course came and got me
and took me down, they have a jail in the Bellagio
at the bottom.
They held me for like three hours,
I'm like you got the wrong dude.
And they're like well they told us
they didn't steal anything.
I'm like yeah, dude, who the fuck do you think they're gonna
I was like do you think?
So I never wanted to, I've never
been back to the Bellagio since then.
I'm like fuck the Bellagio.
I now go to damn other places,
you lost my business and I'm vlogging about it, bitches.
Anyway, so don't be attracted to psychos.
All you business people,
I know business dudes,
they partner with one trainwreck after another.
I'm like what is wrong with you?
Find people, sometimes people that you don't like
on the first encounter because they're
seemingly boring, you want to be around boring.
All women, pardon, close your ears,
all women become a dramatic.
So if you meet a girl who's dramatic
on the first date,
imagine the first year.
This chick,
I like girls that are so chill,
I'm gonna end with this last story.
This is a true story.
A business associate named Renee
moved from North Carolina,
they had been married for 30 years,
they got divorced,
but it was an okay divorce.
He came here and said Tai I want to find love again.
Been divorced like three years.
I said go on match.com.
So he goes on match.com and he comes back
a week later and he's like dude,
I'm so sad, I was like why,
he goes I blew it.
Girl of my dreams, I blew it.
I said tell me what happened.
He said, she was perfect.
Her profile, she was a doctor, smart, pretty,
the right age, he was like 50 she was like 40,
like everything he wanted.
He said so I went to meet,
she said meet me at Starbucks in the Santa Monica Promenade.
I went there, there's two Starbucks.
He didn't know this.
One on one end, one on the other.
So he went and sat there at 4pm,
just like the date was set.
Waiting, waiting.
She doesn't show up.
10 minutes go by, he texts her.
He gets a text from her going
uh, why aren't you here?
And he's like I am here.
And she's like I'm at the promenade at the left side
and he realized oh crap, I'm at the wrong one.
So he runs across the whole promenade,
it's like an outdoor mall,
runs into the place,
sits down with the girl,
and this girl's like don't you respect,
I'm a doctor, you don't respect my time, (vocalization).
So the date went for like five minutes
and she walked off.
And he was like I'm so bummed.
I'm like why?
You don't, you want people to reveal themselves.
If the chick is a psychopath,
like, don't be wearing your best outfit
on the first date.
Because if a girl only likes you
when you look the best,
you might as well go in there looking average
because then at least you can look better.
Right?
And that's the same with drama.
If a chick is dramatic, like be five minutes late.
I know you shouldn't play with people,
but you gotta be smart.
Be five minutes late.
If that chick's like uh I was about to leave,
then be like, I had that one time
a girl came into my place.
She went to the wrong house,
sat outside of it.
I stood outside of my house, didn't see her.
And she finally texted me uh, I'm leaving.
I was like, goodbye!
I'm like your dumb ass didn't know
what my address was and you're dramatic?
Erase.
And then do, do what I do on my phone.
Huh?
- [Offscreen] I feel like you shouldn't (mumbles).
- It's okay to test people.
Let me put it to you this way,
being five minutes late is not manipulative.
- From the very beginning I think that you (mumbles).
It's just respectful.
- It's, listen.
Anybody in the modern world that thinks
you disrespect them by being five minutes late
in my opinion, is not gonna last.
Because do you think you'll ever be five minutes late?
I don't like, this is a personal philosophy.
You have yours, yours is valid.
Mine is, life is tough.
And lots of stuff comes up in life.
You want, I like business partners,
I have a business partner I kid you not,
Alex Mehr, Mentorbox,
he runs the whole thing,
he's making a million bucks a month.
One of the reasons I knew I wanted to be business partners,
he flew down, you know I kind of have a big house, right?
This just happened last month,
he flew down to LA,
he taxied to my house,
came in my house, we were supposed to go see a movie.
I forgot he was in my house.
There was ten of us.
We all left, went to the movie.
About two in the morning, I was like
Oh shit, I have a guest that I left.
The next morning I was like dude, I'm so sorry I left you
he's like I don't care, I just wanted to sleep.
I want somebody that if I'm late five minutes,
they go oh I was just caught up on my emails.
Now if you're an hour late, that's disrespectful.
But why waste your test quick in the beginning?
People will, get them to reveal their shit in the beginning.
Pressure is a, and if a girl did that to me,
she goes I was five minutes late,
I wouldn't think she's manipulative.
It depends what, how you do it.
So do it within reason.
- There you go, then that's the perfect thing to say.
- Now notice how at this table who was the most alert
to anything tricky.
Last bonus lesson.
People who watch you for being tricky,
they're always tricky.
It's true!
If you ever meet somebody and I leave my,
let's just say this, I left my wallet here.
And I gotta go to the bathroom.
If I say to you, you're not gonna steal
anything out of that, right?
- Right.
- You promise me?
Like anybody who has that train of thought,
they've stolen money out of somebody's wallet.
No normal person thinks about that shit.
Yes.
Are you suspicious?
She's suspicious?
- I would have to disagree when it comes to this.
If you're going to plan something
I think you're already just setting
yourself up for the end of the relationship.
- So let me, I'm gonna challenge you,
with the guys you date, you want a good guy, right?
So on your first date, don't look your best.
Just look like you do on a normal.
- I do that, I've done that.
- Good, so okay, we agree on that.
That's number one.
Number two.
Don't be like your most charming self.
Just be how you, because we all have different sides.
Sometimes we're more charming.
Just be kind of like, lowkey.
If the guy doesn't think you're interesting,
then inevitably that day would've come anyway.
So you might as well get it off the,
that's what you have to do,
you've gotta screen more at the beginning.
Not so much later.
Don't be so avoidant later.
What's the longest you've been with a guy?
- Seven years.
- Was he the guy that wanted to marry you?
- We had (mumbles)
- But I'm saying don't be with a guy
seven years and not get married.
- Yeah I mean that was, you know, we were young.
- Wait, how young were you?
- I was (mumbles) twenties, (mumbles).
- That's not that young.
- I mean it's, I was, you know,
I didn't date a lot in high school.
- That's what I'm saying, screen them out early.
- You guys, twenties, and (mumbles).
A whole new life.
- Life's complicated, and so is love.
Good lookout there.
Love's kind of like this chocolate cake and ice cream.
After a while, that's what it looks like.
Right there.
Thank you guys for the guests.
You're good, she's good on my show.
I need people who disagree with me.
You know.
Don't be so cynical.
- [Offscreen] Me, be cynical?
- Skeptical, and not so anxious.
You have a 92!
That's fucking insane.
- 92 on what?
- On your anxious and relationships.
- Oh, okay so the anxious part and the
relationships is combined?
- [Tai] Have you been cheated on?
- Yes.
- [Tai] Yes, how many times by how many different guys?
50% of your relationships?
- If you call them relationships.
- Whatever you call guys you were into.
You had a relationship with them.
Okay, listen to me.
50-50 is not a great, the ratio you want.
You want like once, or zero.
So you, that's what I'm telling you.
You attract, the law of attraction,
there's a great book, The H Factor of Personality.
There's scientific proof that you attract,
so if you're like a little sneaky,
you're gonna attract sneaky guys.
So what happens is you gotta bring your,
you gotta change your world view.
You gotta be more like, ah.
Go a little more go with the flow.
A little more hey.
- But then that's how they cheat.
- [Tai] No!
- If they're gonna cheat then I'm gonna go cheat.
- No what will happen is, you will attract a different.
Please say you got that on camera.
Please.
Please.
I don't even need to say anymore, there it is,
you could not prove my points,
it's not really my points by the way,
I'm not trying to act like a know-it-all,
I'm just passing on to you what my mentors
who spent 40 years studying this stuff.
- [Offscreen] Have you taken this test?
- Taken.
I have, yes, and I
- [Offscreen] And you're normal?
- Nobody, I'm not perfect, no, Hell no.
I'm not perfect at all.
- What's your relationships like?
- I'm a little bit,
I'm a little bit like you, but lower.
I don't have that much as much.
You guys have like,
yeah.
My biggest problem is,
I'll tell you,
no I'll tell you where I score horribly,
on gentleness.
I am not gentle.
People who work for me,
I am the most, I am too blunt.
Once in a while, you know I've had
very few people ever quit working for me.
Maybe one out of, I don't know,
every fifty people or something.
But sometimes
people can't handle the truth.
And I gotta get better at being like,
I need to be better like,
Oh, I'm not that.
I'm like 40 or 50.
- [Offscreen] So who scored the highest on narcissist?
- [Tai] You, I think, got a 70.
- No, for real?
- I think it was you and,
you two.
I think it was you two.
Three of you had it.
Yeah.
I'm not that high.
I'm like, I get 40 to 50.
My worst is all that, I'm not agreeable.
My gentleness is like,
I'm like, put it this way.
Like one out of every ten thousand people
is as blunt as me.
Unfortunately.
But you know, some people like it,
that's why they follow my channel.
Because I just basically
say shit that people don't want to say.
Alright, we out.
Thank you guys.
(relaxed music)
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