Do you know how it feels to wake up from a beautiful dream
or maybe waking up in someone else's dream?
Ashley , Your mom called me today, saying that you didn't pick up her call.
Let me ask u something. Your mother has suffered in her life as much as u have, hasn't she?
Whatever you say, What you are doing to your mother cannot be justified
ASHLEY : And do you know what the worst part is
Its when you are being loved , and given hope , but just to vanish into thin air
Leaving you broken and empty . And you are lost
Sister, could you keep that book aside for the next time?
Ok sister
Roy : hello Ashley , do you remember me ?
It was actually my first time to that hospital . Came to show my mothers report .
What happened to her ?
Nothing much. She fainted and since she had BP and all we took her to a nearby hospital
They referred her to medical college. We saw the doctor and he said she was fine.
Was she with you? No, we live a little far away. And she's a bit reluctant to take leave. What about your parents?
Actually, I'm in a hurry. I'll see you later
Ashley , isn't this the book you asked for at the counter
It's ok, you can read it and give me back the next time we meet.
Ah good. You are a quick reader it seems
And I thought it would have been hard for you to find this place. Oh
By the way , where do you live Roy? I've rented a room near my office. Do you live with your parents?
No, Mom is in Kochi. What about your parents?
My father died long back, only my mom's with me.
Is your mother alright? Yeah, she's fine
sometimes she acts sick so that I'll go to her.
What do you do? -I'm a research student.
Ok. Literature?
Ok. Literature?
Why did you ask so? Because I saw you at the library that day.
You were there that day but you are a doctor right
I'm actually doing a research in your field. Medicine?
Yeah, medicine. There's a govt. funded program at DHRM I'm actually doing a research in your field. Medicine?
for the deaf children called Shruthitharangam -Oh, cochlear implant.
Yeah, cochlear implant. I work there in the audiology dept. Yeah, I've heard of it. How's your project going?
Ashley : I was falling in love with solitude
All I wanted was to stay away from people
From people who knew me
From people who knew my past
But I couldn't stand it anymore May be that is why I let him into my world
Suppose a person's blind from birth
someone donates him eyes, the transplant's a success and he's starts to see
but nothing makes sense to him because he has never seen anything before
So what do we do? Show and teach him everything from scratch
The colors , the people , everything. So is a child with a hearing implant The colors , the people , everything. So is a child with a hearing implant
. Exactly, we've to start from the beginning, go to the genesis
The sounds which a normal person should have heard but this child could not
But the first sounds we hear , wont it be different for different people
That's the whole point Ashley. See, just think,
Let it be me or you , the first sounds we heard , its almost the same
Not almost , its the same . We are in fact trying to simulate the same
Let me say. Isn't it our mother's sound we hear first?
But then every mother has got a different sound right
Amidst everything that made me feel lonely
Everything that led me astray
I was learning
That I could still smile
That I could be happy
That I could fall in love again
And may be he was right The first sounds we hear , it had something to do with my life
Your mom called me today also saying that you didn't pick up her call.
Why are you being so adamant . After all , she is your mother
Roy knows about your family?
No
May be I believed in spite of the mess my life had been
He would stay with me
May be I was not falling in love with him
I was falling in love with myself
My mom always says like
mobile phones in fact separate us
The feel that you get when we talk in person , you wont get that over phone
So no issues if I throw it , right ?
Do you know something?
Like what would be that a person talks about the most?
It would be the ones he thinks about the most
Is that so ?
don't u think?
What do you think about the most?
Don't know . But I know what you think about the most. But there was something in him
Your mom something which made me feel so close to him
But then , I have never heard about your family
My case is different from yours Roy
So are our mothers
Things are not the same
You can tell me
Not today , not now
Now I already feel better
And he was making me feel better
making me feel safe And it really hurts to miss him
Thats why I came this far to see you doctor
But what can I do in this case Ashley
and the fact that you came this far means he was more than a friend to you
But the fact you dont have a photo or a contact
implies he is a total stranger . Other than for this book
I dont know how people fall in love with strangers
and to his mother . As if I knew them for ages
But after he came , things were totally different
And that's why I decided to tell him
Everything
Tell me
Roy , I have got some family issues
something that you or your mother
can never probably accept
I am an illegitimate child
I know nothing about my father . I havent asked her
And it really hurts
I was helpless about it
So I stayed aloof
I have heard stories about myself from people who knew nothing about me
And I let out my frustrations on my mother
Ashley , do you know whats the first sound we hear ?
Roy - this might have something to do with your life
I don't know Roy... I
Before anything else , anything from outside
There's something we hear . So clearly
Something that comes from within our mother
The sounds of her heartbeats
The first sounds we hear
Ashley can I ask you something
Do you hate your mother
Its not that I hate her Roy
She is the only one I ve got in this world
But it was her mistake that ruined my life
You can never relate . On how hard it is to live like this
Though small , you have got a family
But its not the same with me
At times , even I feel stranded Ashley .
And then I ll just go to my mom
Sit close to her . I wont say a word . So does she
And in that silence , I can hear her heartbeats . And I feel safe again
But how can anyone accept a past like mine
Do you think your mother will accept me ?
May be it was this apprehension that made my life so lonely
I dont know how to explain it But he was that important to me
So are you Ashley
You are that special to me
In fact , you sustain my world
And you know something , my mom is different
different than what you think . So don't worry about that
but Roy
atleast to get over this fear
would you take me to your mother?
He didnt take you home , did he ?
That night was the last time I saw him
hello
I am fine
Is this your Roy ?
yes
I never wanted this to happen Ashley
His name is not Roy
He is Mathew
And yes I know him
He was my patient , three years back
A disturbing condition it was , Dissociative Fugue its called
He had lost his mother in an accident , years back
May be it was that shock on witnessing the incident
or it may have been the emptiness henceforth , we dont know
He couldnt accept that loss
And his mind began to manipulate things
And it began deceiving him
Making him believe that his mother was still around And that overpowered his reality
And he began living in his own world
No strings , no feelings
As if he didnt exist
But why me ?
In a place where no one knows anything about him
He finds out a stranger , and builds a world with his mother around them
And when he knows his story wont prevail anymore
He just walks away , and forgets everything
Then a new place , a new person
And a new story
All he wanted was to create and sustain a world
A world where his mother existed A second person to believe in his story
to believe he has a mother
You only meant that much Ashley
It was not to hurt you
neither an obsession with you
It was an obsession for the need of a person to believe in his story
ROY : you sustain my world
When you told me about Roy
He never came to my mind
Not even as a remote possibility
Because in fact I thought he was cured - where did he go doctor ?
What if we can trace him ?
Ashley
Dont go after him
I accept it , he was lying to me the whole time
But I can still accept him
But that was Roy , he doesn't exist anymore
And for Mathew , you are a total stranger
Its the disease Ashley.
His mind makes him forget everything including you
He wont be able to recollect
The people or the incidents that occured during the fugue state
Roy , Ashley , everything
Like a dream , which he can never recollect
I have always respected teaching as a profession may be its because my mother is a teacher
oh she was a teacher , which school actually ?
Mother
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