hey guys so for today's video I have a very honest super raw Q&A so I was so
excited for this cuz I love just to sit down and to chat with you guys you know
some of my favorite videos to film and you guys love watching - it might chit
chat get ready with me I just love it cuz I get to really sit down be super
raw with you guys and chit chat so that's what we're doing today I got you
guys yesterday on Twitter and on snapchat to ask me a bunch of questions
I told you guys to ask me anything you wanted any any anything nothing was
off-limits but because I really just wanted to answer all of the questions
you guys have really been wondering so let's go ahead and answer some of the
questions I just have them screenshotted on my phone so the first one is if you
could change one thing about the beauty community what would it be and why so
I'm assuming that they mean the beauty community on YouTube I would just change
like them I feel like a lot of videos nowadays they're all like super
clickbait I think I would change that I really miss like the authenticity of
YouTube like back in the day people will just upload content that they truly like
really wanted to share with the world and now I feel like it's not content
they want to share with the world I feel like it's content they just know will
get views or they just want to put out there to fish for views I think in the
day I do kind of understand because I'm a youtuber as well so I know like the
background the behind-the-scenes the type like the business side of it so I
understand the marketing this is our job if this was your job wouldn't you
wouldn't you try to get the most out of it so I understand like trying to get
views and stuff like that I mean here hey well trying to get views I'm trying
to give you soup you guys gonna remember - yes I'm a youtuber but I'm also a
watcher like I have my favorite youtubers i watch youtube videos and
honestly this isn't any shade to anyone if you know me you know I'm not a shade
throw I'm not into the T of a drama like that's just not my personality I stay
out of drama I stayed up clicks I stay out of all
that because that's not what I'm here for I started YouTube because I loved
makeup and I genuinely loved sharing like my tips and my tracks and just
chit-chatting with you guys so that's what I'm gonna continue doing that's
what I've always done that's what I'm still doing I feel like that was a super
long answer to that question so the next question is do you think all the drama
surrounding the beauty community is ridiculous because it's just makeup or
is more than that and should the
influencers be called out for it I personally think it's ridiculous it's
just I don't even think it's ridiculous because it's just makeup I think is
ridiculous in general I don't I don't know I don't see the need for like drama
for me I just focus on why I started YouTube and I stick to that and I think
that that helps me stay out of you know things but not only that I'm not really
a drama type of girl like even in high school like any time there was drama was
like cute me out of it like I am NOT I actually hate drama I'm like I'm a shy
kind of person so I actually run away from like situations that are too highly
dramatic you know I mean it just scares me away so I'm just not that type of
person I so personally I do just think it's kind of ridiculous next question is
I wanted to know how you got your YouTube channel up to the point it is
right now I would say like to be honest with you aiyyo aiyyo where I got my
YouTube channel to now two two things that I even worried that sometimes
properly anyways I owe two different things number one
reason I will say is just being myself like as soon as I reached a point which
is like a few years to go was like you know what I'm just gonna do what I want
like whatever comes to my head whatever I feel in my heart whatever videos I
truly want to do and I'm inspired to do those are the videos I'm going to create
and I'm also just gonna be authentic and present myself authentically as soon as
I started doing that I noticed my views just started popping and popping and
popping so whenever I'm just being myself and doing videos that I truly
truly love and I feel inspired and I'm putting out content that I'm really
happy with I noticed that that's when my channel is really booming but another
thing too is something that really helps your channel which I feel like people
but a lot of people don't talk about but something that really helps your channel
is you know those videos that get a lot of views so I like to call the mini
viral because honestly viral is like 15 million views but just having videos out
there that really popped and they stuck out to people and just got a lot of
views like let's say 500k or a million or two million eight three million like
having those videos that really kind of blew up and got a ton of views do help
your channel because more people get to see your channel more you're like reach
out to more people so the next question is why don't you have a meet and greet
so I know this is something I get asked a lot so I really wanted to come in to
chat with you guys and I have kind of talked a little bit
about that in a checker ready with me so the reason why I don't really do meet
and greets is because I'm a really socially awkward person and I'm also
really shy so I definitely would say that I have social anxiety like when I'm
around a group of people or even just another person that I'm not necessarily
comfortable with I do get anxiety but I love meeting you guys I really do like
when you guys come up to me in public and I get to meet you guys I may be shy
or whatever but honestly let me tell you after I finished meeting you guys I'm
always just like wow like that's a person who watches my videos it's just
really cool to put faces to the people who watch me so the next question is do
you live alone and if so do you like it so I don't live alone I actually live
with my boyfriend which actually brings me to the next question which is my most
asked question and I think someone asked here so she said will you ever share
more info about your boyfriend's last year relationship even his name maybe I
feel like there's a whole part of your life that's so secret and that's okay if
that's what you're comfortable with FYI so I totally understand this question I
honestly get it asked a lot there's a reason why I haven't really talked much
about my relationship it's because I personally prefer to keep it private I'm
actually a really private person like even in you know even with family and
friends like I had a boyfriend for like an entire six months yeah wasn't like an
entire six month before I even told my sister like is that crazy you guys I'm
like literally that person actually you know what are you guys watching Keeping
Up with the Kardashians right now you know Courtney how she's like so reserved
and private to share what's going on with her relationship right now with her
sisters that's literally me like I am so private probably the most private person
you will ever meet I think I just prefer to keep those things very private and
personal they're very dear to me so I prefer to keep them private and I've
always kept my relationship private since since day one on YouTube so that's
why I don't really mention my relationship that much because I feel
like why would I mention it why would I mention my relationship or my boyfriend
like every day on YouTube and like dangle a carrot in front of you guys but
be like I don't want to show you that like I feel like that's just that's just
petty and silly so I personally prefer to keep my most of my family life and
like my relationship and my boyfriend just off-camera and private because
that's just personally what I prefer and that's what my boyfriend prefers that's
a decision we've made since day one and actually I'm so happy that we're both
on the same page when it comes to that like we're both really private people so
this leads me to the next question which is will we ever get to meet your
boyfriend I think there's always a maybe there's definitely probably always a
maybe but to be honest with you I don't really think so and I totally get what
she was saying about I feel like there's a whole part of your life that's so
secret and a part of me struggles with that a little bit because a part of me
is like well shouldn't I be more open but then at the same time I'm like you
know what I have to accept Who I am if I prefer to keep things private then
that's just what I prefer to do I have to stay true to that
I can't let other other things influenced my decision type of thing
also you guys have to understand too that I have made the conscious decision
to start a YouTube channel and to be on camera but my boyfriend hasn't like he
never signed up for this he never decided to be on camera and be on
YouTube you know I'm saying and a lot of people don't like being on camera he
hates being on camera like my boyfriend hates being on camera he's the
behind-the-scenes guy like does not like being on camera at all he's also really
private super low profile not really on social media so that's his personality
so the next question is also a boyfriend related question which is super
understandable because you guys have just been like really curious in terms
of like what my relationship is you know my boyfriend and everything like that
which is honestly understandable it's human nature I feel like to just be
really curious about things I'm like that too when I see my favorite
youtubers I'm curious about their personal life and stuff like that so I
think it's just human nature so I totally understand it so the next
question is I respect your decision to not share photos of your boyfriend but
I've also wondered how long have you guys been together and if you want to
get married but we've actually been together since the end of 2011 so it's
been about six years I do want to get married like in the future but to be
honest with you guys I'm not the girl to have like a big wedding I am planning on
literally just going to sign the papers like that's I just want to do that you
know I'm saying maybe go on vacation after or something like that like I will
not be having a big wedding it's just not who I am it's like - attention
calling I could not even imagine me being like the bride like the center of
attention I would just like I would get such social anxiety so yeah I definitely
do want to get married but you know just sign them papers
that bitch done next question is were you scared to start YouTube why or why
not the reason why I was scared was because I was like this is such a crazy
thing like are people gonna think I'm weird I was mainly honestly afraid of
like the judgment I would get I was in at the end of my first year in college I
think and I was just afraid of the judgment I would get like is this weird
like putting out a camera talking to myself putting it on the Internet is it
weird nowadays it's so much more like saturated like it's so much more
accepted and it's like everyone walks around with a camera and whatever but
five years ago I think I started my channel yeah five years ago when I
started my channel it was very like YouTube what like what do you do on
there you didn't mean but now people know so back then I was more just afraid
of the judgment but to be honest with you guys the reason my channel exists
today is because of my boyfriend if it wasn't for him I would not have even
started my channel because I was too scared but I went to him with the idea
and the first thing he said to me was so do it you should go ahead and do it
that's something I wanna do do it and as soon as I heard that I was like wow like
just to hear somebody support me so much and to not think my idea was crazy was
so comforting and encouraging so actually that same day we went home went
on this same laptop I'm on right now started a Google account cuz you need
like a gmail account to connect to your youtube did all of that and I started my
channel and then it took me a month an entire month to film my first video and
upload it cuz I was so like hesitant even though you've lost so much weight
do you still see yourself as big or get insecure about your weight I'm losing
weight and everyone notices but sometimes I still feel so big and I
don't know if I'll always feel like this yes I can totally relate like it's crazy
I've lost so much weight but I still don't feel completely satisfied first of
all I'm not at my goal never was I ever planning on stopping right now like I
still have another 25 pounds to lose even after losing 30 pounds I still get
insecure about my body and my weight sometimes so this is honestly made me
realize it's not about how much weight you lose what number you're at it's
about you being satisfied with yourself no matter what first like if you're not
happy with yourself right now and you're not confident if you think losing weight
is gonna make you more confident let me be the one to tell you right now it is
not going to make you confident losing weight it's not gonna make you confident
dyeing your hair is not gonna make you confident doing this doing that doing
that not gonna make you confident you have to be confident in your true naked
self like no matter what size you are no matter how frizzy your hair is no matter
what you have to be confident at your rawest form so that you can be confident
at all stages it's crazy but like trust me you think losing weight and putting
on makeup and dyeing your hair and you know that's gonna make you confident
it's not gonna make you comedy you're still gonna feel insecure so I've
realized that confidence comes from within and it doesn't matter what you
look like on the outside so yeah definitely I think the thing you gotta
do is just focus on your inner confidence so the next question is how
do you keep yourself motivated to go to the gym this is a question I get so so
so much and honestly you guys aren't all I have to say and it's the best answer I
could tell you guys is this not about motivation motivation dies like if you
haven't noticed motivation does not last it goes away so it's not about
motivation it's about self discipline so it's about having the discipline to do
it so ask yourself how did I get up to go
to school every morning did you want to go to school every single morning you
didn't want to go obviously no one wants to go to school but you did it though
you did it why because you had to because you were disciplined and you
knew you had to do it so it's the same thing with the gym it's like you don't
do it because you're like motivated you don't wake up in the morning every
single morning I've been going to the gym now for 16 months 16 months straight
and this is the longest I've ever lost normally I would go to the gym for like
two months and then quit I've been going to the gym 16 months now and why not
because I'm motivated you guys like a lot of you guys asked me oh my god how
do you stay so motivated I see you doing so good I'm like guys I'm here
struggling to like I have days where I'm like oh my god I don't want to go to the
gym today it's gym day but I just want to you know relax but guess what you
have to do it like it's about discipline like do I need to go to the gym today
yes I do so go like simple keep it super simple and cut through stop worrying
about motivation motivation lasts for like a day
and then it goes away it's about discipline doing what you need to do
even though you don't want to do it so the next question is do you have any
beef towards any makeup companies or youtubers your girl's got no beef no
beef like none zero I know boring but I don't I stay
out of it you know I don't get involved zero beef with anybody I love everybody
peaceful peaceful person here trying to make a heart is failing what's your
advice to people who want to accept themselves in their own skin and feel
more confident in their body to be honest with you guys my best advice
because it's something that's helped me is to stop comparing stop comparing
yourself to other people because there's only one you and the world already has
that person they don't need another one we need you so focus on who you are stop
comparing yourself and another thing to is look at the good things about
yourself like it's very easy to look in the mirror and see what you hate but how
often do you look in the mirror talk about what you love
very rarely instead of me focusing on what I don't like about myself I focus
on what I do like and that's really helped me a lot so what is your 2018
resolution somebody asks me I love this question because I feel like every year
even though it's corny it's just good to set goals for yourself and meet them so
from me 2018 my goal is definitely lose the rest of the weight that I have to
lose I don't know the exact number cuz I don't know what my body is gonna look
like but I'm ballpark guessing I have another 25 pounds to lose so my goal for
2018 is lose that the last 25 pounds and I'm honestly I've already gone hard I
mentioned on Twitter to you guys that I took like a two-month break off of
weight loss because I was losing weight for like 14 months straight and by the
end of it my body was plateauing so hard like no matter what no matter how many
reverse diets I did or anything like that I bought my metabolism was like it
was done it was done losing weight so I took two months off November in December
to really give my body a break so I haven't lost any weight in November in
December and as soon as January came man I'm like back to losing more weight
because I'm trying to get the rest of this weight off so that's like a big
resolution for me so the next and last question because I think we've been
filming for a while now is is there anything that I would do to my body in
terms of plastic surgery when it comes to plastic surgery
I am the most like accepting person I feel like anybody should be able to do
what they want with their body without any judgement it's just not necessary to
judge people that's just my standing on it but I also
do notice a rapid incline in like the trend
nowadays and I do notice that the trend nowadays is to get a lot of plastic
surgery personally for me I've never been the girl to worry about trends like
I've never followed trends heavily obviously some trends I keep up with but
I don't feel the need to follow every single trend so when it comes to plastic
surgery I do notice this rapid incline and to be honest with you guys for a
while it kind of affected me like I started looking at my body and being
like hey what can I do myself to like you know fix this or fix that or fix
this and fix that and then I started realizing and stuff I set back and I was
like hey like first I need to focus on loving myself and being confident with
myself so once I started noticing the trend of that kind of affecting me and
starting to plant things in my own head I was like whoa let me take a step back
here and yeah I used to want to get lip fillers I talked to you guys about that
before I did really used to want to get them if you don't know this about me I
am like really scared of getting hurt or like getting anything done to my body or
I'm not scared of like the hospital and the doctors if that makes sense
like when I sprained my ankle it was a huge deal for me and that was just a
sprained ankle you know I'm saying so I am just the type of person that I really
hate being hurt we're like just anything like that so even getting surgery scares
the shit out of me but yeah I did want to get my lips filled um but after a
while I just started thinking you know what like let me just accept my lips for
what they are type of things see how that goes and then if I really like I'm
really focusing on my confidence and really building that and then after I am
truly confident in myself if I still want to fix my lips a little bit or
something like that then I would in the future but I think it's important to fix
something about yourself at the stage where you're fully confident with
yourself like you can't be insecure thinking that that's gonna fix a type of
thing and I think that at one point that's what I was I thought that getting
lip fillers was gonna fix me but it really wasn't you know I'm saying I want
to be confident in myself first and ever since I've been working on my confidence
to be honest with you guys I kind of like my lips now I mean they're over
lined right now but I like my lips I honestly don't really think I'm gonna
get lip fillers anymore not that I have anything against lip fillers honestly
they look a bomb on some people and I also have talked to you guys about my
boobs being a huge insecurity of mine I've always had
really saggy boobs okay it's just the truth I hate the word saggy oh it sounds
horrible but ever since I've lost 30 pounds they've just gotten even worse so
I've mentioned that is an insecurity of mine and to be honest with you guys I've
been thinking for a long time about getting a boob job but again I don't
know if I can do it so I don't know by the end of my weight loss I'm I don't
know you know I really don't know but I do think if there was anything that I
would wear to get done it might have to be my boobs because they're just really
weight loss has really affected them I probably will affect it even more in the
future so I guess we'll see okay you guys so that is pretty much it for the
questions this video is super long I hope you guys enjoyed it let me know if
you enjoyed these types of videos because I definitely will continue doing
more in the future please don't forget to subscribe and also click the
notification bell until you see the tics on the corner that way you get notified
for all my new videos so that is pretty much it for this video thank you guys so
much for watching and of course I will see you guys in my next one
bye guys mmm
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