Interviewer: Okay, let's get this interview over with.
Interviewer: Augustus. Augustus!
Augustus: Babooshka! Where is the goat???
Interviewer: Hi, Augustus. Are you ready for your "73 Questions with Vogue?"
Augustus: 73? Now you have 72 questions left.
Augustus: Come!
Interviewer: Okay...
Interviewer: Better get started...
Interviewer: Did you regret firing the triumvirates: Antony and Lepidus?
Augustus: No!
Augustus: Lepidus. Pissed. Me. Off.
Augustus: And Mark Antony?
Augustus: *sighs* That fool drank a love potion from Cleopatra.
Augustus: That asinus! (old timely word for the equivalent meaning of donkey.)
Interviewer: Why did you change your name?
Augustus: Because I wanted to sound cooler. Duh.
Interviewer: What does it mean?
Augustus: "The exalted one." ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Interviewer: Ooh.. Okay, whatever that means...
Interviewer: What is your favorite meal?
Augustus: Caesar Salad.
Interviewer: Oops. You dropped something.
Augustus: *Makes awkward sound for no apparent reason.*
Interviewer: Who do you look up to?
Augustus: When I look up, all I see is the sky...
Augustus: But, I admire Caesar.
Interviewer: How is it like controlling the Roman Empire?
Augustus: Well, I've certainly made it better.
Interviewer: Are you homosexual?
Augustus: No, I'm just Gaius.
Interviewer: Who was your biggest rival?
Augustus: Marc Antony. *Spits*
Interviewer: Can you explain why you married three times?
Augustus: The ladies just can't get enough of me ;)
Interviewer: Okay, do you think there's any other reasons?
Augustus: *sigh* They're all after my power.
Augustus: THOSE GOLD DIGGERS! $%@#
Interviewer: Who was your father?
Augustus: Julius Caesar. MI PAPI!
Interviewer: What is one important you learned from your father?
Augustus: The one important lesson?
Augustus: To. Never. Trust. Anyone. Or. They'll. Stab. You. In. The. BACK! (Julia in the background saying: "NOT THAT PAPER")
Interviewer: How's your only daughter, Julia?
Augustus: We will never speak of her again.
Augustus: *Is realizing something's wrong*
Augustus: Come, come, come.
Augustus STOP! GET OUT! GET OUT!!
Augustus: ROME IS FALLING!! ROME IS FALLING!!!!!
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