Hi, it's Adrián Close and this is gonna be a quick video update thingy because I don't
have much time.
Basically, it is Saturday today and I had my first appointment at the Gender Identity
Unit on...
(In Spanish: ¡Estás en medio!
/You're in the middle!)
Basically, today is Saturday, my first appointment was on Wednesday and... next Monday I have
another appointment- actually 2 appointments.
My first appointment was Wednesday and it was with the endocrinologist in the Gender
Identity Unit at the hospital.
This is public healthcare, so I had to wait 6 months for this appointment but I don't
have to pay anything.
[The doctor] asked me, "do you feel like a boy?" and I was like "yeah.
I am".
And then he asked me my age.
I think that's because I look 12 and he wanted to make sure I was legally an adult.
Uh...
And I think that's like all he asked to me.
Then he started to talk about how this program works but he talked most of the time to my
parents and about my parents because they don't believe I'm trans and they don't understand
anything, so...
He talked to them about their worries and about their questions.
Basically, he said I don't have to go to a psychologist if I don't want to but I should.
It's optional...
I don't know, it was really weird and I felt like he was either lying to me or explaining
himself really poorly.
Because at one point I asked him "when can I start my treatment?", and I meant hormone
treatment, but he said "probably next month or at most 2 months" and I was like "... That
doesn't make any sense."
My mum was like "Yeah, she's not in a hurry to start hormones and all that", and I looked
at her and I started like laughing and I just said "I am".
And then I talked to her after and I was like "You know, mum, with my dysphoria there are
days that are bad and there are days that are worse.
I don't have good days, I don't- It's like, if you have an illness and you go to the doctor
and you're like "Yeah, sure, I can wait to take painkillers.
Six months?
That sounds good, I'm gonna just... be in pain until then".
The doctor since I entered the room talked to me with masculine pronouns and he/him.
And my parents were using she/her.
So, when he was talking to them, they would use she and he would use he, he never used
she.
And I really appreciated it because that's the first time that my parents have heard
anyone treat me with he/him.
So yeah, basically what he said was he was gonna refer me to- I'm not sure why but I
have to see a sociologist?
I'm not even sure what that is, but I have to see a sociologist and a psychologist.
So, then I was super lucky, I was so lucky.
He said I had to see the sociologist before the psychologist I believe, so when I got
to get my appointment, I got the appointment with my psychologist on Monday, next Monday,
and the one with the sociologist was in like March.
The appointment in March had to be the [first] one, so I was like "Can you give me an appointment
with...
Like, the appointment that I have on Monday, can you move it to March or... can you do
anything?
I don't understand but I need this appointment the first..."
And so he just went in, talked to [the sociologist], fixed it and I have the 2 appointments on
Monday which is amazing, because I thought I had to wait 3 months, 4 months.
And now I don't, I just have to wait 2 days.
So yeah, actually starting my medical transition, like, going to the doctor, I guess, has made
my parents more willing to talk to me about it.
Because until this appointment was closer, since I came out until then, which was 4-5
months, they didn't talk about it at all, never.
They just pretended I never came out in the first place.
So, I like that we can talk about it but also sometimes I'm just like...
It makes me really angry because they are just asking the same questions over and over.
But anyway, I'm going to wait until I have this other appointment, see how that goes.
I am having the two appointments one after the other, I think I have one appointment
at 9 in the morning and the other one at 9:38 or something, so basically it's I go in, spend
most of my morning there and... we'll see how that goes.
So... next part of the video.
I wish I was there.
I wish I could just like, be there now.
But well...
[TWO DAYS LATER] Well, part two of this video and today I had my appointment with the psychologist
and then this sociologist and I had some of the best news of my life.
So the psychologist, they told me I can choose if I want to go see her or if I don't want
to.
I said yes because, you know, it doesn't hurt and I then went to the sociologist, she was
going to explain to me the process and all of that.
So [the sociologist] asked me some questions, like, name, where do you live, are you interested
in hormones, in surgeries, which surgeries, all of that...
Many, many questions, like, just to fill out the form thing.
She was like, "it doesn't really matter, we can change it later but just answer.
And when she was done, she asked me "do you want hormones then?"
I said yes, so she gave me the referral to get a blood test done with all the hormones
and cholesterol... they say it's very thorough.
So, she was like "come see me, you know, next time you get an appointment.
This blood test will take at least a month to get the results.
So, I was like, "ok, and then I have to see the endocrinologist, right?
Like, how does that work?
Do I see you?
Do I see him?"
And she told me "Ask for the appointment with me and you sign the informed consent.
You read it, you sign it and then you go to the endocrinologist, he sees if the blood
test are all okay...
You can start hormones".
So I was really excited but I thought "Well, if my first appointment with the endocrinologist
took me 6 months I'm sure that maybe in June or something I'll get an appointment to get
on testosterone.
I just...
I can't believe it.
I am getting my blood test done on January, and if all is good, I will start testosterone
on February.
I will start testosterone on February 2018.
Ok, so, what the sociologist told me is basically, they used to have this legislation that was
like, you had to go to a psychologist and a psychiatrist, but apparently last year they
changed the law, thank god, bless...
And now they work with informed consent, so basically if you're sure you want to start
testosterone, especially if you're over 18 like I am, you can just start right away,
like my first appointment was last week and I might get on testosterone in two months,
that's insane how fucking good.
Because, before, like when I was looking for information, before this law was passed, all
the videos of people that had gone there, had waited at least 2 years.
So I was thinking I was gonna wait 2 years to start testosterone and then they tell me
it's 2 months and it was so amazing.
Two things that I wanted to mention that I really liked from this unit was, first, I
was treated with male pronouns and he/him, boy...
Since the moment I entered the first appointment and I told the doctor...
He asked me "so you feel like a boy?"
I said "yes".
From that moment on, nobody misgendered me, nobody said...
Like, they are really good at it.
Even when my parents were saying "daughter" and "she" and all of that, they were always
using he/him and I really appreciated it.
And the second thing, which is something that I was curious about, was like, how do they
go about calling for people in the waiting room when this is an area with only trans
people?
Like, are you gonna misgender everyone?
What they do is they only call by the surnames.
In Spain we have two surnames so it's very rare that they are gonna have two patients
with the same two surnames.
I am super, super happy and relieved to know that I start hormones...
If not in February, it will be, like, March, April...
Because the doctor told me.
I thought he was lying!
He told me "you're gonna start hormones January, February, but before spring break, that's
for sure".
And I didn't believe him.
I was like "You're just lying.
Like, that's not possible, because if it took 6 months for me to see you the first time,
how is it gonna take 2 months to see you the second time?"
Apparently it did.
I have to come out to my family...
Ok, so, my mum's side of the family is quite ok, and I think that some of them are gonna
be like "I don't know, I don't believe you, are you sure?", blah blah blah...
But they are ultimately gonna support me and just like, get used to it, I guess.
But my dad's side of the family, I...
I don't know what is gonna happen.
I'm pretty sure that my granddad is not gonna accept it.
It's not gonna...
Like, he's really close-minded, really right-wing, really fascist, so...
I am just worried that he will kind of like, disown me and not want to talk to me ever
again just because of who I am.
It's really painful to think that I may lose people for who I am.
It's gonna be difficult, I will probably talk to most of my family over Christmas and New
Year's Eve and all that...
My battery of my camera died so, just, I'm so happy and I hope that I am able to film
some more videos over Christmas break.
Happy holidays to everyone and... bye.
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