LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I BRING TO YOU NOW BLACK BUSH.
female narrator: PRESIDENT BUSH CONTINUES
TO MAKE HIS CASE FOR AN INVASION OF IRAQ.
- AFTER CAREFULLY EXAMINING THE REGION,
ME AND MY CABINET AGREE THAT THAT AREA
IS DEFINITELY RIPE FOR REGIME CHANGE.
- A'IGHT?
- BUT IF I CAN BE REAL ABOUT IT--
- BE REAL, SON. - REAL?
- BE REAL REAL, SON.
- TRIED TO KILL MY FATHER, MAN.
all: WORD.
- I DON'T PLAY THAT SHIT.
- SAY WORD, HE TRIED TO KILL YOUR FATHER, SON.
- THAT NIGGA TRIED TO KILL MY FATHER!
- WORD TO EVERYTHING WE LOVE,
WE COMING TO SEE Y'ALL, SON.
announcer: MEANWHILE, PRESIDENT BUSH
AND BRITISH PRIME MINISTER TONY BLAIR
OFFERED A SPIRITED EXPLANATION FOR A POSSIBLE WAR WITH IRAQ.
- THIS NIGGA VERY POSSIBLY HAS WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION.
I CAN'T SLEEP ON THAT.
NOT ON MY WATCH!
THAT'S NOT HOW I ROLL. THAT SHIT IS SERIOUS!
NOW, IF YOU DON'T WANT TO TAKE MY WORD FOR IT,
WHY DON'T YOU ASK TONY BLAIR?
HE GOT A WHOLE NOTHER SET OF INTELLIGENCE.
WHAT'S UP, TONY?
- WE DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT SADDAM,
BUT WE CAN'T TRUST RANDOM NIGGAS
WITH THINGS LIKE THAT, AS GEORGE SO ELOQUENTLY PUT IT.
I'M WITH HIM 100% OF THE WAY.
WE DON'T KNOW WHAT HE HAS.
male narrator: IF THE UNITED STATES GOES TO WAR WITH IRAQ,
WILL IT FIRST HAVE TO PROVIDE EVIDENCE
THAT SADDAM HUSSEIN HAS WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION?
SO FAR, THE U.N. HAS FOUND NOTHING,
BUT PRESIDENT BUSH COUNTERS WITH THIS:
- THE NIGGER BOUGHT ALUMINUM TUBES!
DO I NEED TO TELL YOU
WHAT THE FUCK YOU CAN DO WITH AN ALUMINUM TUBE?
ALUMINUM!
THAT DON'T SCARE YOU?
FINE. I DIDN'T WANT SAY THIS.
THE (BLEEP) BOUGHT SOME YELLOW CAKE, OKAY, IN AFRICA.
HE WENT TO AFRICA, AND HE BOUGHT YELLOW CAKE.
- ARE YOU SURE?
- YES, I'M SURE, BITCH!
I GOT THE HEAD OF C.I.A. RIGHT HERE--HE'LL TELL YOU!
- WHAT UP? ARE YOU SURE?
ARE YOU SURE?
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU MOTHER (BLEEP).
THIS IS RIDICULOUS. RIDICULOUS!
ME AND JEB JUST COMING BACK FROM AFRICA.
- CRADLE OF (BLEEP) CIVILIZATION.
- AND THIS NIGGA OUT HERE BUYING YELLOW CAKE.
- FROM THE MOTHERLAND.
- ARE YOU SURE IT WAS YELLOW CAKE?
- Y'ALL NIGGAS DON'T BELIEVE ME,
I GOT SOME YELLOW CAKE RIGHT HERE!
LOOK, YOU SEE? YOU BELIEVE THIS (BLEEP) NOW?
- DON'T DROP THAT (BLEEP)!
- I KNOW. I KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT!
THAT'S WHY I GOT IT WRAPPED UP IN THIS SPECIAL C.I.A. NAPKIN.
- JUST DON'T DROP THAT (BLEEP) HERE.
- YOU BETTER HOPE I DON'T DROP THIS (BLEEP)!
- PRAY TO GOD YOU DON'T DROP THAT (BLEEP).
- YELLOW CAKE.
- (BLEEP) RIGHT.
male announcer: A SENSITIVE ACCUSATION
FOR THIS ADMINISTRATION
IS THE THEORY HELD BY MANY THAT THE REAL REASON
THE U.S. IS SO INTERESTED IN TOPPLING SADDAM
IS CONTROL OF THE OIL THAT IRAQ IS SITTING ON.
- WHAT ABOUT PEOPLE WHO SAY
YOU'RE ONLY INTERESTED IN THE MIDDLE EAST FOR OIL?
- WHAT?
HUH? OIL?
WHO SAID SOMETHING ABOUT OIL, BITCH?
ARE YOU COOKING? OIL?
MAN, I DON'T KNOW WHAT--
COME ON Y'ALL. GET OUT OF HERE!
announcer: PRESIDENT BUSH MET
WITH U.N. SECRETARY GENERAL KOFI ANNAN
AND MADE IT CLEAR THE U.S. WILL ACT
EVEN IF THE U.N. IS RELUCTANT.
- U.N., YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT,
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD DO?
YOU SHOULD SANCTION ME.
SANCTION ME WITH YOUR ARMY.
OH, WAIT A MINUTE!
YOU DON'T HAVE AN ARMY!
I GUESS THAT MEANS YOU NEED TO SHUT THE (BLEEP) UP!
THAT'S WHAT I'D DO IF I DIDN'T HAVE NO ARMY.
I WOULD SHH! THE (BLEEP) UP.
SHUT THE (BLEEP) UP!
THAT'S RIGHT, KOFI ANNAN.
THINK I'M GONNA TAKE ORDERS FROM AN AFRICAN?
YOU MIGHT SPEAK 16 LANGUAGES, BUT YOU GONNA NEED THEM
WHEN YOU IN TIMES SQUARE SELLING FAKE HATS.
I KNOW GUCCI WHEN I SEE IT, NIGGA.
I'M RICH.
I GOT A COALITION OF THE WILLING.
I GOT 40 NATIONS READY TO ROLL, SON!
- LIKE WHO?
- WHO THE (BLEEP) SAID THAT?
HUH? HUH?
LIKE WHO?
ENGLAND.
JAPAN'S SENDING PLAYSTATIONS.
STANKONIA SAID THEY'RE WILLING TO DROP BOMBS OVER BAGHDAD.
RICKETY ROW IS COMING!
AFRIKA BAMBAATAA AND THE ZULU NATION.
THAT MEANS I AM NOT DOING THIS BY MYSELF,
AND I AM NOT DISRESPECTING THE U.N.,
EVEN THOUGH THEY DON'T GOT NO ARMY.
GO SELL SOME MEDICINE, BITCHES!
I'M TRYING TO GET THAT OIL--
OH! [coughs]
female announcer: THE U.S. FIRED THE OPENING SALVO
IN THE WAR ON IRAQ
WITH AT LEAST 40 TOMAHAWK CRUISE MISSILES
AND PRECISION GUIDED BOMBS, CENTERING ON BAGHDAD.
[Hail to the Chief playing]
male announcer: GOOD EVENING.
TONIGHT, PRESIDENT GEORGE BUSH IS ON BOARD
THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER U.S.S. ABRAHAM LINCOLN
OFF THE CALIFORNIA COAST.
IT WILL BE THE SITE OF WHAT IS ESSENTIALLY
HIS VICTORY SPEECH IN THE WAR AGAINST IRAQ.
- [clears throat]
WHAT DID I SAY?
I'M NOT GLOATING, BUT WHAT DID I SAY?
DID I NOT SAY THAT WE WOULD WIN THAT SHIT?
WE ROCKED THEM 'BAMAS! WE ROCKED THEM!
[whispering] NIGGA, YOU SEE ME COME IN ON THAT PLANE?
SHHHHOOO.
DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DAH!
announcer: FOR THE SECOND STRAIGHT DAY,
THESE HARD-LINE IRAQIS
PROTESTED THE AMERICAN PRESENCE HERE.
- MR. PRESIDENT, WHEN DO YOU THINK
THEY'LL HOLD GENERAL ELECTIONS IN IRAQ?
- DAMN, I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE CALLED ON THIS NIGGA!
I SHOULD NOT HAVE CALLED ON YOU 'CAUSE YOU'RE ALWAYS
TRYING TO DISTRACT MOTHER(BLEEP)S
WITH THINGS LIKE THE WAR AND SKIRT ALL THE REAL ISSUES.
GAY PEOPLE ARE GETTING MARRIED, FOLKS.
YES.
NASTY! IMAGINE THAT.
TWO WOMEN TOUCHING ON EACH OTHER'S TITTIE BALLS,
WRESTLING THEM,
GENTLY STROKING THOSE NIPPLES
TILL THEY GET JUST SO STIFF AND ERECT!
BLOWING ON THEM.
[blowing]
MEN. BARBECUE.
"I LIKE YOU." "I LIKE YOU TOO, DOG."
"LET'S GET MARRIED, MAN."
IT'S CRAZY!
- WHAT ABOUT YOUR-- - THAT (BLEEP) IS GROSS!
- MR. PRESIDENT. MR. PRESIDENT, SIR.
HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THE CONTINUAL UPHEAVAL IN IRAQ
EVEN AFTER THE CAPTURE OF SADDAM HUSSEIN?
- WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS, MAN?
I THOUGHT YOU WAS MY BLACK BROTHER.
WHY YOU ASKING ME QUESTIONS LIKE THAT?
FINE, I'LL ANSWER YOUR STUPID-ASS QUESTION.
HERE'S WHAT I FEEL ABOUT IRAQ.
I FEEL LIKE YOU GUYS KEEP TRYING TO DISTRACT PEOPLE WITH IRAQ
WHEN I'M FOCUSING ON OTHER THINGS,
NAMELY THE MOON.
YES, I SAID IT, THE MOON.
CAN'T BE DISTRACTED.
"WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THE WAR?
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE ECONOMY?"
STOP WORRYING ABOUT THAT! I GOT THAT (BLEEP) UNDER CONTROL!
LET'S FOCUS ON SPACE, NIGGA.
THE UNITED STATES OF SPACE.
'CAUSE I AIN'T STOPPING AT THE MOON.
WRITE THIS DOWN:
M-A-R-S.
MARS, BITCHES.
THAT'S WHERE WE ARE GOING.
MARS. RED ROCKS!
- YEAH, YEAH!
For more infomation >> Chappelle's Show - Black Bush - Duration: 6:46.-------------------------------------------
Chappelle's Show - Trading Spouses - Duration: 7:46.
HI, AND WELCOME TO "TRADING SPOUSES,"
THE SHOW WHERE WE TAKE TWO MARRIED COUPLES,
AND YOU GUESSED IT,
MAKE THEM TRADE SPOUSES FOR A WHOLE MONTH.
WATCH THE SPARKS FLY TODAY,
BECAUSE FOR THE FIRST TIME ON OUR SHOW,
WE'RE GOING INTERRACIAL.
( man ) DADDY'S GOING AWAY FOR A LITTLE WHILE, ALL RIGHT ?
I'M GONNA LIVE WITH A WHITE FAMILY.
Y'ALL BE GOOD.
WHAT YOU GOIN' BE DOIN' WITH A WHITE FAMILY ?
IT'S A T.V. SHOW, SAY HI TO AMERICA.
ANYBODY TRY AND TOUCH YOUR MOTHER,
PUNCH HIM IN HIS (BLEEP).
LOOK, SON, DAD'S GOING AWAY FOR A FEW WEEKS.
SO, I WANT YOU TO BE GOOD, OKAY, SQUIRT ?
WHATEVER.
I LOVE YOU.
OH, ESKIMO KISSES.
YOU MUST BE LITTLE T-MART.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO CALL ME DADDY, HMM ?
IS IT OKAY IF I CALL YOU MR. DEEZ ?
MR. DEEZ ?
DEEZ NUTS !
I-I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
WHAT'S HAPPENIN' ?
YOU MUST BE LEONARD.
THAT'S RIGHT.
CAN I CALL YOU DADDY ?
HELL NO.
ONLY YOUR MAMA CALLS ME DADDY.
HERE, MOP TOP, TAKE MY BAG UP TO MY ROOM.
AND IF I FIND OUT YOU BEEN GOING THROUGH MY (BLEEP),
I'M GONNA BEAT YOU IN YOUR ASS, YOU UNDERSTAND ?
HMM.
WELL, WELCOME, IT'S GOOD TO HAVE YOU HERE.
IT'S GOOD TO BE HERE, COME ON, GIRL.
OH-- OH, YES.
I DON'T SMELL NO DINNER COOKING.
RUN ON, MAKE SOME GRITS.
RUN ON.
WHAT YOU COOKIN' FOR DINNER, MISTER ?
OH, YEAH, WELL, I'M GLAD YOU ASKED, LITTLE BUDDY.
UM, THIS HERE IS CAULIFLOWER.
THIS IS CORNED BEEF HASH.
AND THESE ARE PARSNIPS.
WHAT THE (BLEEP) IS A PARSNIP ?
LEONARD, JUST SO YOU KNOW,
TODD WOULD USUALLY DO THE DISHES AFTER DINNER.
WELL, JUST SO YOU KNOW,
HIS ASS WILL BE BACK APRIL 13th.
GO ON, DO YOUR THING, GIRL.
MOP TOP...
YOU DO YOUR HOMEWORK ?
YEAH.
WELL, GO ON UPSTAIRS AND WASH YOUR ASS
AND THEN WE'LL WATCH MARTIN LAWRENCE.
WANT ME TO LIGHT YOUR CIGARETTE FOR YOU TOO ?
YOU BETTER CHECK YOUR TONE, GIRL,
GET YOUR INSIDE VOICE ON
BEFORE I PUT YOUR ASS OUTSIDE, MM.
RACIAL PROFILING ?
WHO THE (BLEEP) IS RENEE "ZELLWEDGER" ?
WHAT'S WRONG, SWEETIE ?
T-MART'S BEEN BACK-TALKING ME,
AND I NEED YOU TO TAKE CARE OF IT FOR ME.
T-MART...
EXCUSE ME, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
ALL RIGHT.
YOU'RE IN BIG TROUBLE, MISTER.
WHAT, YOU GONNA HIT ME OR SOMETHING ?
YOU'RE GOING ON TIME-OUT.
FOR 15 MINUTES, OKAY ?
YEAH--
STARTING NOW, T-MART.
TIME-OUT !
TIME-OUT IS SWEET !
HALLE BERRY, HERE I COME.
( rap music booming )
HEY, MOP TOP !
WHAT THE HELL YOU LISTENING TO ?
IT'S THE NEW 50 CENT.
I'M FROM THE STREETS, MAN.
G-G-G-G-G-G... G-UNIT.
COME ON, GET IN THE CAR.
G-G-G-G-G-G... GET YO' ASS IN THE CAR, GO ON !
WELL, HERE YOU ARE, MOP TOP, HOME SWEET HOME, THE 'HOOD.
ALL RIGHT, LITTLE FELLA,
SAY HELLO TO YOUR PEOPLE FOR ME.
AND TELL 'EM WHEN YOU SEE 'EM,
THAT LEONARD WASHINGTON IS GLAD HE MADE IT OUT, GO ON.
GO ON.
G-G-G-G-G-G... GOOD-BYE.
AND IF YOU NEED MONEY, SELL ROCKS,
I HEARD THAT'S WHAT THEY DO AROUND HERE.
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS ?
DAMN, BITCH, WHAT'S THIS, A LIGHT SABER OR SOMETHING ?
NIGHT-NIGHT.
HMM.
DO YOU WANNA HAVE SEX WITH ME, TODD ?
YES, I WOULD LIKE THAT VERY MUCH.
OKAY.
OH !
UH, EXCUSE ME.
DO YOU MIND IF I TURN OFF THIS R & B MUSIC ?
I KINDA WANNA HEAR YOU BREATHING.
OKAY.
ALL RIGHT.
UH, DO YOU WANNA TAKE OFF YOUR PAJAMA BOTTOMS ?
ACTUALLY, I'D FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE IF I JUST
PULLED MY PENIS THROUGH THIS HOLE.
I'M SORRY, BABY, I DON'T GO SOUTH OF THE BORDER.
THAT'S JUST ONE THING THAT LEONARD WASHINGTON DON'T DO.
BUT-- BUT, LEONARD, IT'S OKAY, I'M WAXED.
DAMN !
NOW, I DONE HEARD OF TRIMMING THE HEDGES,
BUT YOU DONE SCORCHED THE EARTH.
( sniffing )
I SMELL YOUR LIGHT SABER.
LIGHT SABER ?
( buzzing )
LEONARD AND I HARDLY EVEN TALK ANYMORE.
THE OTHER NIGHT HE CAME HOME AT THREE IN THE MORNING.
I HAD NO IDEA WHERE HE WAS.
HE USES PROFANITY AROUND JEFFREY.
I JUST DON'T FEEL LIKE WE'RE SHARING.
I DON'T FEEL LIKE THERE'S ANY RECIPROCITY THERE.
( therapist ) HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT ALL THIS, LEONARD ?
BITCH, I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS.
GO ON, GET IN THE CAR, WARM IT UP.
THIS IS GOOD, YOU CAN LET OUT
WHATEVER YOU FEEL IN HERE, LEONARD.
ALL RIGHT, I'MA TELL YOU RIGHT NOW, I AIN'T CRAZY,
I DON'T NEED NO PSYCHIATRIST.
AND IF YOU EVER TELL ANYBODY I'VE BEEN IN HERE,
I'LL (BLEEP) KILL YA.
IT'S CONFIDENTIAL HERE, LEONARD.
I WON'T TELL ANYONE, IT'S JUST BETWEEN US.
WELL THEN, CONFIDENTIALLY,
I AM CRAZY, AND I'LL (BLEEP) KILL YA.
WELL, IT'S BEEN A WILD AND CRAZY MONTH.
LET'S SEE WHAT OUR INTERRACIAL FAMILIES HAVE LEARNED.
I LEARNED A LOT FROM SHARRON
AND I LEARNED A LOT FROM LITTLE T-MART.
AND QUITE FRANKLY, I'LL MISS THEM BOTH VERY MUCH.
AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE...
I TASTED BROWN SUGAR, AND NOT IN MY OATMEAL.
( chuckles )
YEAH, BEING ON THIS SHOW TAUGHT ME THAT,
NO MATTER WHERE YOU COME FROM, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING ?
OR WHAT COLOR YOUR SKIN IS,
WE ALL PRETTY MUCH DO THE SAME THINGS IN LIFE.
RAISE OUR KIDS, MAKE LOVE FROM TIME TO TIME, AND WASH.
SPEAKING OF WHICH,
I LEARNED THAT WHITE PEOPLE DON'T USE WASHCLOTHS.
DID YOU KNOW THAT ?
I'M SERIOUS, THEY HAVE ONE BAR OF SOAP IN THE HOUSE.
EVERY TIME I USED IT, SOMEBODY ELSE'S PUBIC HAIR WAS IN IT.
SO USE THE CLOTH.
WHY YOUR ASS GOT TO PUT THE RAW BAR OF SOAP
IN YOUR BUTT AND ALL THIS ?
MAYBE I NEED TO WASH MY FACE OR MY FEET.
TODD AND LEONARD ARE VERY DIFFERENT.
ALTHOUGH LEN IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE,
IN A DIFFERENT WORLD, I COULD SEE MYSELF WITH TODD.
ALTHOUGH THE PENIS-THROUGH-THE-HOLE THING
WAS KIND OF WEIRD.
AND I AM MISSING SOME OF MY DRAWERS.
OH...
OH, MY GOSH-- HO-HO.
TITTY RESIDUE--
HELLO... HELLO ?
-------------------------------------------
Star Trek: Before Discovery (Ep.1 and 2 Spoilers) - Duration: 6:08.
Over thousands of years, human civilizations rose and fell on the planet of Earth, advancing
in technological capability slowly, as war, disease and natural disasters often hindered
development.
Yet after recovering from fighting two world wars, they at last achieved spaceflight and
in 1969, and began expanding beyond their planet.
Exploring their moon with manned missions they also sent unmanned missions beyond, gathering
information about the planets and Solar system around them.
Yet violence and division still ravaged the nations of the world, leading to a Eugenics
war near the end of the 20th century, resulting in 30 million deaths.
In the 21st century their spaceflight development continued, but was hindered once again due
to their third world war, spanning from 2026-2053.
Mission continued for a time, even during the years of war, but this war eventually
led to the use of nuclear weapons, which in the end claimed the lives of roughly 600 million
people.
Yet while many died, their knowledge survived, and after a decade of recovery the scientist
Doctor Zefram Cochrane invented warp technology, launching the Pheonix into space.
The first warp capable ship in earth's history was then detected by an alien vessel passing
through their system, who recognized the achievement as the last technological milestone needed
to initiate first contact.
Although quite different from Humans in many ways, physically the Vulcan species appeared
very similar to humans, likely having evolved from a common ancestor who spread their dna
across the planets of the galaxy.
A once violent species, Vulcans began to practice ritual meditation and over time were able
supress their emotions, using logic and reason to guide their lives.
As a result they were a largely peaceful civilizations, resulting in a new era of technological development
for the planet of earth, as they learned from the Vulcans and over the next century eliminated
poverty and hunger throughout the world.
By 2103, humans colonized Mars, and in 2150, the nations of the world were ready to unify
into a single government.
The following year, they launched the Enterprise Nx-01 to explore deep space and make first
contact with new alien life, with a Vulcan even serving aboard the ship as a sign of
the friendship and alliance between their species.
And while humans were grateful for their assistance, some had also grown impatient with the Vulcans,
who were hesitant to share too much, and risk sending humans out into a dangerous galaxy
unprepared.
In many ways this concern was justified, as humanities ignorance about other species and
cultures, as well as their desire to explore and claim new territory that bordered existing
powers, sometimes led to conflict and war.
Yet humanity also made new alliances and friendships through their exploration, which eventually
led to the formation of a coalition of planets in 2155.
Feeling threatened by the rise of this new alliance, a war with the Romulan Star Empire
erupted between 2156 and 2160, ending in victory for the coalition forces.
Defeated, the Romulans retreated into their borders and went into isolation for nearly
a century.
With the war won, the victorious planets formed a new partnership, creating the United Federation
of Planets in 2161.
Though the Federation and the Officers of Starflight who administered their space program,
were dedicated to the peaceful exploration of the galaxy, their mere presence near the
borders of other species sometimes bred conflict.
This was the case in the early 23rd century, when relations with the Klingon Species of
the Beta Quadrant soured, leading to years of cold war in which they engaged in small
scale border skirmishes, and fought an inconclusive Battle at Donatu V in 2245.
On one occasion, during what was later described as a Klingon raid of terror against a Vulcan
research facility, a pair of humans were killed, leaving their young daughter Michael Burnham
to be raised by the Vulcan Sarek and his wife Amanda Grayson.
She then went on to join the Federation and became first officer aboard the USS Shenhzou,
but never forgot the horrors committed by the Klingons, making her one of the few humans
who truly understood the aggressive nature of these mysterious aliens.
The Klingons were a warrior race who revelled in battle, and dedicated themselves to preserving
ancient traditions and rituals while adhering to a strict code of honor.
For centuries they were led by an Emperor and through their prowess in war were able
to conquer a large empire.
But eventually the Emperor's power diminished, leaving them to be ruled by a High Council
of 24 great houses that often bickered and fought amongst themselves.
Yet not all were blind to the way division weakened them, with a Klingon named T'Kuvma
from a minor house, coming to believe he was destined to reunite the Empire and make it
strong once more.
As a child, he rediscovered the lost ship of his father, the Sarcophagus, and dedicated
himself to repairing it, vowing to restore the honor of his house.
The ship then became his main base as he grew his following, and because he believed past
divisions needed to be set aside, T'kuvma even took in outcasts who were not accepted
anywhere else, like the Albino Voq.
With the Sarcophagus fully operational and an ever growing following, T'kuvma was able
to develop cloaking technology and was at last ready to fulfill ancient prophecy and
unite the Empire to face a new enemy, which he believed was the Federation.
And so he took his ship to the edge of Federation space, and arranged for both the enemy fleet
and the Klingon great houses to face off against each other, uniting the Empire for the first
time in many years to fight the Battle of the Binary Stars.
-------------------------------------------
Chappelle's Show - Electric Guitar, Drums or Electric Piano Pt. 2 - Duration: 2:33.
ALL RIGHT.
EVERY EXPERIMENT NEEDS A CONTROL.
NOW, RIGHT NOW, ME AND JOHN
ARE IN A BARBER SHOP IN HARLEM.
EVERYONE HERE IS EITHER BLACK OR LATINO.
LET'S SEE HOW ELECTRIC GUITAR WORKS ON THEM.
READY, JOHN ? YEAH.
OKAY, OKAY, GO, GO.
♪♪
HEY, YO !
SHUT THE F**K UP !
OKAY, OKAY.
THAT WENT PRETTY MUCH HOW I EXPECTED.
NOW, LET'S SEE HOW THE BLACKS RESPOND TO DRUMS.
( drum roll )
QUESTLOVE, GO.
(playing drums)
AHH... YEAH !
YEAH !
YEAH !
UNH !
SPIT SOMETHIN', SPIT SOMETHIN', SPIT SOMETHIN'.
♪ YO, YO ♪
♪ I'M DOWN WITH ANY SEX OR ANY RACE ♪
♪ IF YOU WERE BEATIN' ME ♪
♪ IT'S LIKE BILLY CRYSTAL PLAYIN' SCARFACE ♪
♪ AND I CAN'T SEE IT, BLIND TO THE EYES ♪
♪ I CAME UP IN YOUR FACE, OOPS, POW, SURPRISE ♪
OH !
YEAH !
WHOO !
WHOO, THAT WORKED LIKE GANGBUSTERS !
BUT I STILL HAPPENED TO NOTICE,
SOME OF THE LATIN PEOPLE WERE NODDING THEIR HEADS,
BUT THEY WEREN'T REALLY FEELING IT
AS MUCH AS I THOUGHT THEY WOULD.
BUT I THINK I GOT THE REMEDY.
WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF I INCORPORATED WITHIN THAT
AN ELECTRIC PIANO ?
SANCHEZ, GO !
(playing piano)
(drums playing Latin beat)
ALL RIGHT, THIS IS GOING GREAT.
NOW I'M GONNA KICK IT UP A NOTCH, WATCH THIS.
( shouting in Spanish gibbberish )
♪ YI, YI, YI, YI, YI, YI, YI ♪
♪ YI, YI, YI, YI, YI, YI, YI ♪
AY, CARAMBA !
OLE !
( music ends )
HEY, GUYS, HAVE A GOOD DAY.
SORRY FOR INTERRUPTING.
-------------------------------------------
Chappelle's Show - Stereotypes Pixies - White Pixie Pt. 2 - Duration: 1:16.
[toilet flushing]
boing!
boing!
YOU LOOK STRAIGHT AHEAD, SIR.
DON'T LET THAT SCARE YOU.
THAT IS THE BANE OF OUR EXISTENCE,
THE BLACK PENIS.
AND, REMEMBER, NO MATTER HOW BIG HIS (BLEEP) IS,
AT LEAST YOU RUN THE GOD DAMN WORLD.
[laughs]
YUCK. AH, IT STINKS.
IT STINKS.
DON'T YOU WORRY. MUST'VE DRANK A 40 OUNCE.
[laughs]
I'M A PIXIE.
[laughs]
OH. CAN YOU SEE ME?
YEAH, I CAN SEE YOU.
WELL, LISTEN, THIS IS AN "A" AND "B" CONVERSATION,
SO WHY DON'T YOU JUST "C" YOUR WAY OUT OF IT.
SAW THAT ON ONE OF YOUR NEGRO SHOWS, MARTIN.
[laughs]
AND WHY DON'T YOU SEE THESE NUTS?
[yelling]
THEERE'S YOUR PISS.
[screams]
IT BURNS!
MY EYES! MY DICKIES!
[screaming]
YOU MIGHT HAVE WON THIS TIME, (BLEEP).
I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU SAW ME.
I'M GONNA TAKE A LOOK AT YOUR TAX RETURN.
YOU MUST'VE MADE A LOT OF MONEY
IF YOU CAN SEE ME.
WOOGIE BOOGIE!
-------------------------------------------
Chappelle's Show - The Time Haters - Great Misses - Uncensored - Duration: 2:04.
UH OH FELLAS, LOOKS AS THOUGH WE HAVE COMPANY.
- AND WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU NIGGRAS DOIN' OUT HERE?
- WE ARE THE TIME HATERS.
WE TRAVELED ALL THE WAY BACK THROUGH TIME...
TO CALL YOU A CRACKER.
- YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR MOUTH.
- ACTUALLY, YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR MOUTH, WHITE BOY,
BEFORE I PUT THESE GATORS UP YOUR ASS
AND SHOW YOUR INSIDES SOME STYLE.
- THAT'S ENOUGH!
- I CAN'T BE NO SLAVE, SILKY.
- OH, GOOD GOD.
- LOOK, SILKY, HE DONE PULLED OUT A WHIP.
- NICE WHIP.
THIS HERE IS A PISTOL.
REACH FOR THE SKY, HONKY.
- HONKY? HONKY?
- HONKY IS A RACIAL EPITHET USED FOR WHITE PEOPLE.
WAS MADE POPULAR BY A MAN NAMED GEORGE JEFFERSON
IN THE 1970s.
YOU SEE, HE AND HIS WIFE, WEEZY,
HAD A DRY CLEANING BUSINESS,
SO THEY MOVED ON UP TO THE EAST SIDE,
TO A DELUXE APARTMENT IN THE SKY.
THEY FINALLY GOT A PIECE OF THE PIE.
CONVOLUTED STORY, I'LL ADMIT,
BUT THE POINT IS THIS:
THAT IN THE FUTURE, ALL BLACK PEOPLE WILL BE FREE.
- IN A SECOND, ALL RIGHT,
THIS IS WHAT STOPPED THE WHOLE SHOW.
THIS STOPPED-- I MEAN, LITERALLY,
THE WHOLE EPISODE CAME TO A SCREECHING HALT RIGHT HERE.
AS A MATTER OF FACT, I CAN PREDICT THIS EPISODE
COMING TO A SCREECHING HALT RIGHT NOW.
BUT I'LL SHOW IT.
- WHEN'S WE GONNA BE FREE?
- THAT IS A GOOD QUESTION, MY MAN.
HOW ABOUT NOW-ISH?
[gunshot] - [grunts]
[gunshot] - [grunts]
[gunshot] - [grunts]
[gunshot] - [grunts]
- APPARENTLY, SHOOTING A SLAVE MASTER
ISN'T FUNNY TO ANYBODY BUT ME AND NEAL.
IF I COULD, I'D DO IT EVERY EPISODE.
SO THAT WAS THAT ONE.
-------------------------------------------
Chappelle's Show - The Niggar Family - Uncensored - Duration: 4:12.
♪ IT'S THE NIGGAR FAMILY ♪
♪ WE ALL KNOW WHO THEY ARE ♪
♪ FRANK, TIM AND EMILY ♪
♪ TEACHING TIM HOW TO RIDE A BIKE ♪
♪ THESE ARE THE NIGGARS THAT WE LIKE ♪
♪ N-I-G, G-A-R ♪
♪ IT'S THE NIGGAR FAMILY ♪
♪ IT'S THE NIGGAR FAMILY ♪
♪ YEAH ♪♪
♪♪
BREAKFAST IS SERVED.
LOOK, HON, MY SISTER JUST HAD ANOTHER BABY.
LOOK AT THIS LITTLE BUNDLE OF JOY.
SHE'S GOT THOSE NIGGAR LIPS.
I KNOW, SO THIN.
IS TIM STILL ASLEEP ?
( Emily ) I THINK SO.
HE SURE IS ONE LAZY NIGGAR.
GOOD MORNING, MOM.
MORNING, DAD.
GOOD MORNING.
YOU KNOW, TIM, WE'RE HAVING A DINNER PARTY TONIGHT.
I TRUST YOU'LL BE HERE.
OH, I CAN'T.
I HAVE MY FIRST BIG DATE WITH JENNY HALSTEAD.
OH.
JENNY HAS A DATE TONIGHT WITH THE NIGGAR BOY FROM SCHOOL.
WHAT ?
OH, GOD, NO !
NO, DADDY, THAT'S HIS NAME.
TIMMY NIGGAR.
OH, OF COURSE, THAT NIGGAR.
HE'S A VERY GOOD ATHLETE AND SO WELL-SPOKEN.
THAT FAMILY'S GOING PLACES.
I MEAN, WE'RE RICH.
THEY'RE NIGGAR RICH.
OH, BILL.
MORNIN', NIGGARS !
WHY, IT'S CLIFTON, OUR COLORED MILKMAN.
AND THIS IS MY FAVORITE FAMILY TO DELIVER MILK TO.
THE NIGGARS !
MMM-MM !
SOMETHIN' SHO' SMELLS GOOD.
YOU NIGGARS COOKIN' ?
WE SURE ARE.
THERE'S SOME LEFTOVER BACON IF YOU'D LIKE SOME.
OOH, NONE FOR ME.
I KNOW BETTER THAN TO GET BETWEEN A NIGGAR
AND THEIR PORK.
MIGHT GET MY FINGERS BIT.
( laughing ) HERE YOU GO.
I, I HATE TO BOTHER YOU ABOUT THIS.
BUT, UH, WELL, YOU DIDN'T PAY YOUR BILL LAST WEEK.
AND I KNOW HOW FORGETFUL YOU NIGGARS ARE
WHEN IT COMES TO PAYING BILLS.
GOLLY, CLIFTON, IT SLIPPED MY MIND.
HERE YOU GO.
SORRY ABOUT THAT.
OH, NIGGAR, PLEASE.
NIGGAR, PLEASE !
WELL, TAKE CARE, MR. "N" WORD.
I HAVE A HOT DATE WITH THE WIFE TONIGHT.
ALL RIGHT, TAKE CARE.
ALL RIGHT, PEACE, NIGGAR.
( audience laughing )
NIGGARS !
♪♪
( man ) STEVENSON, PARTY OF FOUR.
UH, STEVENSON, PARTY OF FOUR.
TABLE FIVE, PLEASE.
BON APPETIT.
NIGGAR, PARTY OF TWO, NIGGAR, PARTY OF TWO.
LOOKIE HERE, JACK !
JUST BECAUSE WE'RE COLORED, DOESN'T MEAN
WE CAME OUT HERE TO BE DISRESPECTED, OKAY ?
UH, WE'RE THE NIGGAR FAMILY.
OH, HI, CLIFTON.
OH, WELL, HELLO, LITTLE NIGGAR.
THESE ARE THE NIGGARS I WAS TELLING YOU ABOUT.
ARE YOU THE NIGGAR THAT BROKE THE BOTTLE
OVER RONNIE'S HEAD AT THE DICE GAME ?
NO, NOT THAT NIGGAR.
THE NIGGAR FROM WORK.
THE MILK ROUTE.
OH, OKAY.
HAVE A NICE MEAL.
I BET YOU'LL GET THE FINEST TABLE
A NIGGAR'S EVER GOT IN THIS RESTAURANT.
( laughing )
OOH, WHEE !
OH, LORD, THIS RACISM IS KILLING ME INSIDE.
( doorbell ringing )
WELL, HONEY, PUT YOUR DINNER PARTY FACE ON.
( Frank ) HELLO.
WELL, YOU MUST BE THE WETBACKS.
IT'S SANCHEZ.
AND DON'T CALL US WETBACKS, NIGGAR.
WE FIND IT OFFENSIVE.
I'M JUST KIDDING, WE ARE THE WETBACKS.
( laughing )
WAIT'LL WE TELL THE JEWS.
OH, YOU'RE ONE CRAZY NIGGAR.
♪ N-I-G, G-A-R ♪
♪ IT'S THE NIGGAR FAMILY ♪
♪ IT'S THE NIGGAR FAMILY ♪♪
NIGGARS !
♪♪
-------------------------------------------
Chappelle's Show - The Playa Haters' Ball - Duration: 6:59.
YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'?
LIKE, REAL HATIN', MAN, THAT'S LIKE AN ART FORM, MAN.
YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE, YOU LIKE A BORN HATER.
YOU KNOW, LIKE MYSELF, A LOT OF CATS THINK THEY HATIN'.
I MEAN, I'M MAD AT EVERYTHING, MAN.
BROTHER GOT A NICE CAR--
"MAN, WHY YOU GOT A CAR ? I ONLY GOT ONE CAR.
"WHY YOU GOT THREE CARS OR A WIFE OR ALL THAT ?
MAN, THAT'S PLAYED OUT."
I HATE ON A NIGGA 'TIL HE'S TOTALLY BROKE,
AND AIN'T GOT NOTHIN' LIKE ME, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN' ?
'CAUSE, YEAH, THAT'S WHAT REAL HATIN' IS ALL ABOUT, MAN.
HEY, WHAT'S POPPIN', EVERYBODY ?
THE EVIL STAR HERE, WANNA WELCOME YOU TO
THE FIFTH ANNUAL PLAYER HATERS AWARD, UH, CEREMONY.
THIS GALA AFFAIR, WE, UH, WE HOST THIS ONCE A YEAR.
WE HONOR THE MOST PRESTIGIOUS VERBAL ABUSERS,
UH, ON THE PLANET.
( heavy Korean accent )
AGAIN, I'M HATING ALL THEM KOREANS.
( speaking Korean )
IS THAT A CUT ON BEAUTY ?
THE PLAYER HATERS BALL GIVES US AN OPPORTUNITY
TO HATE ON A DIVERSE ARRAY OF MARK-ASS MARKS,
TRICK-ASS MARKS, PUNK BITCHES
AND SKIP-SCAP SKANKS AND SCALLYWAGS...
HO'S, HEIFERS, HEE-HAWS AND HULA HOOPS.
MAN, YOU OUGHTTA TAKE THAT CANE
AND BEAT WHOEVER MADE THAT SUIT TO DEATH.
( laughs )
WHY DON'T YOU VACUUM THAT COAT, MAN ?
WELL, WELL, WELL !
THE MOST DIABOLICAL HATERS THIS SIDE OF THE MISSISSIPPI.
BUC NASTY, WHAT CAN I SAY ABOUT THAT SUIT
THAT HASN'T ALREADY BEEN SAID ABOUT AFGHANISTAN ?
IT LOOKS BOMBED OUT AND DEPLETED.
AND OF COURSE, THE SO-CALLED "BEAUTIFUL".
WHY DON'T YOU CLICK YOUR HEELS TOGETHER THREE TIMES
AND GO BACK TO AFRICA ?
AND AS FOR YOU, BOSS HOGG,
VERY INSULTING WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT MY COAT.
IT'S MADE OUT OF YOUR MOTHER'S PUBIC HAIR.
QUITE SHITTY.
NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I'M GONNA GO TAKE MY THRONE
'CAUSE I'M A SHOO-IN...
FOR HATER OF THE YEAR.
THE PLAYER HATERS BALL IS NOT ALWAYS ABOUT
HATING ON ONE ANOTHER.
WE PLAY GAMES WITH EACH OTHER, TOO.
LIKE OUR ANNUAL PHOTO FLIP.
OH.
DAMN.
OH MY GOD.
LITTLE-ASS TEETH ? NIGGA GOT DOLPHIN TEETH.
ARSENIO HALL TEETH !
HE ALWAYS SAYS HE DOESN'T WANT ANYONE TO SEE HIM SHINE,
BUT THE NIGGA LOOKS SHINY TO ME.
LOOKS LIKE MALCOLM X BEFORE HE CONVERTED TO ISLAM.
NEXT.
THANK YOU, MISS EFFIE.
GOOD LORD, ALMIGHTY, IT'S OSAMA BIN LADEN.
THAT MOTHERFUCKER PUMPED MY GAS IN MY CAR
ON THE WAY OVER HERE.
THAT'S IRONIC, BECAUSE I TAKE YOGA CLASSES FROM HIM.
NEXT PICTURE, PLEASE.
I LIKE THE SONG THE GIRL SINGS, "PAPA, DON'T PREACH".
I GOT A SONG FOR YOU TOO, BITCH.
IT'S CALLED, "DAUGHTER, DON'T SING".
NEXT PICTURE, PLEASE.
IT'S BOY GEORGE !
NOW, THAT MAN RIGHT THERE I'D HATE TO FIGHT.
SHE WEARS UNDERWEAR WITH DICK HOLES IN 'EM.
( man ) NOW TO PRESENT THE AWARD
FOR PLAYER HATER OF THE YEAR-- ICE T. !
( booing )
YOU LOOK LIKE BILL COSBY ON CRACK !
I'D LIKE TO WELCOME ALL YOU IGNORANT-ASS BITCHES,
CRITICS, COMPLAINERS, DISGRUNTLED RAPPERS,
HA, AND RACISTS ESPECIALLY,
TO THE NINTH ANNUAL INTERNATIONAL
PLAYER HATERS BALL !
OH, MAN, HATE, HATE, HATE...
( audience chanting ) HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE...
HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE.
OH, MAN, YOU CORNY !
NEXT NIGGA SAY SOMETHIN' WHILE I'M TALKIN'
IS GETTIN' SHOT, PLEASE BELIEVE THAT.
HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE !
SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO,
LET ME GIVE YOU THE NOMINATIONS FOR PLAYER HATER OF THE YEAR.
Y'ALL READY ?
FIRST UP... BUC NASTY !
( booing )
CLAP FOR ME, BITCH !
BUC NASTY IS NOMINATED FOR...
GETTING HIS BEST FRIEND'S WIFE PREGNANT,
THEN TRICKING HIS BEST FRIEND
INTO RAISING THE LITTLE MOTHERFUCKER.
YEAH, HOLLA AT YOUR BOY.
DAMN, THAT'S HATEFUL !
THE NEXT NOMINEE IS PIT BULL.
( booing )
PIT BULL IS NOMINATED FOR CALLING THE POLICE
ON THE DRUG DEALERS THAT MOVED NEXT DOOR TO HIS HOUSE,
NOT BECAUSE IT WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO,
JUST BECAUSE HE WAS JEALOUS OF ALL THE MONEY THEY WAS MAKIN'.
PIT BULL ! ( barks )
FINALLY, THE ONE AND ONLY...
SILKY JOHNSON !
( boos and applause )
SILKY JOHNSON IS NOMINATED
FOR CALLING IN A BOMB THREAT TO THE SPECIAL OLYMPICS, MAN !
( audience ) HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE !
THE WINNER OF THE NINTH ANNUAL
PLAYER HATER OF THE YEAR AWARD IS...
( man ) LOOK LIKE A BOOTLEG ICE T. !
SILKY JOHNSTON !
( booing )
KISS MY ASS !
I'M THE BIGGEST HATER !
SILKY MINK MADE OUT OF 100% RAT ASS !
HIT ME, BABY.
THAT, OF COURSE, WAS BEAUTIFUL TALKIN'.
BEAUTIFUL ON THE WEEKENDS DOES STUNTS
FOR LITTLE RICHARD IN GAY MOVIES.
( laughter )
FIRST OFF, I WOULD LIKE TO THANK GOD ALMIGHTY
FOR GIVING EVERYBODY SO MUCH...
AND ME SO LITTLE.
I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU,
I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU, AND I HATE YOUR GUTS.
I HOPE ALL THE BAD THINGS IN LIFE HAPPEN TO YOU
AND NOBODY ELSE BUT YOU.
( booing )
HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE !
AND AS I SIP MY SODA
THAT I'M SURE SOMEBODY SPIT IN
I JUST WOULD LIKE TO SAY TO ALL OF YOU,
KISS MY ASS, YOU ROTTEN MOTHERFUCKERS.
NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I'M GONNA GO HOME
AND PUT SOME WATER IN BUC NASTY'S MAMA'S DISH.
GOOD EVENING.
( laughter )
HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE,
HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE...
-------------------------------------------
Chappelle's Show - Tyrone Biggum's Crack Intervention - Duration: 6:12.
REMEMBER WE'RE NOT HERE TO JUDGE ANYBODY.
WE WANT TO HANDLE THIS WITH LOVE, RIGHT ?
YOU WANT TO TELL HIM HOW HIS DRUG ABUSE HAS HURT YOU,
AND HE HURT HIMSELF, OKAY ?
HAROLD, WHAT TIME DID YOU TELL HIM TO BE HERE ?
5:00, BUT HE'S ALWAYS LATE.
NO, HE'LL BE HERE... IN THREE, TWO, ONE...
IS THIS THE 5:00 FREE CRACK GIVEAWAY ?
♪ HE'S BEEN AWAY FOR A WHILE BUT HE'S BACK AROUND ♪
Y'ALL TELL ANYBODY, I'LL KILL YA !
I'LL KILL YA !
♪ THE KOOKIEST CRACKHEAD IN THE TOWN ♪
PEANUT BUTTER AND CRACK SANDWICH.
♪ HE KICKED HIS HABIT BACK IN THE JOINT ♪
♪ NOW HE'S BACK ON POINT ♪
LOOK OUT, CRACK, HERE I COME !
( crashing )
♪ HE'S FINALLY HOME HE'S TYRONE ♪♪
( narrator ) THIS WEEK, TYRONE GETS INVITED TO AN INTERVENTION.
OH, YA-- LOCK THE DOOR, GOOD IDEA.
HEY.
OKAY, TYRONE, DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU'RE HERE ?
MM-HMM, I'M HERE FOR SAME REASONS YOU IS, MAN,
I WANT SOME CRACK.
CRACK.
OKAY, TYRONE, WE ARE NOT GIVING CRACK AWAY TODAY.
UH-HUH... WHA...
NO, NO.
WHAT TIME IS IT ?
IT'S 5:00.
DID I MISS THE 5:00 FREE CRACK GIVEAWAY ?
TYRONE, TYRONE, THESE ARE YOUR FRIENDS HERE,
AND THEY HAVE SOMETHING THEY'D LIKE TO SAY TO YOU.
I'VE BEEN TRICKED !
OKAY, TYRONE, I'M WHAT IS KNOWN AS
AN INTERVENTION COUNSELOR.
OH !
YEAH, AND THESE PEOPLE WOULD LIKE TO TALK TO YOU
ABOUT YOUR DRUG USE.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, MAN ?
I DON'T DO DRUGS.
WHAT Y'ALL TELL HIM, HUH ?
COME ON, BENEDICT ARNOLDS !
WHAT Y'ALL TELL HIM ?
RHONDA, WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO FIRST ?
THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE ?
DO WE GET CRACK AT THE END ?
TYRONE, YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU,
BUT I FEEL LIKE DRUGS IS HURTING YOU
AND THEY'RE HURTING ME.
TYRONE, I WAS VERY HURT THAT YOU CARJACKED ME THAT TIME.
WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT, RHONDA ?
I WOULD NEVER CARJACK THAT UGLY-ASS CAR.
GET OUT THE CAR !
TYRONE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING ?
WHO'S TYRONE, HUH ?
I DON'T KNOW TYRONE !
NO, IT'S YOU WITH YOUR CRUSTY-ASS LIPS !
STOP PLAYIN', RHONDA, GET OUT THE CAR !
GET OUT THE CAR !
I DON'T KNOW ANY TYRONE !
LOOK, THE POLICE FOUND YOU THREE HOURS LATER
IN MY CAR, ASLEEP, HIGH ON CRACK.
THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE, RHONDA.
HOW CAN YOU SLEEP IF YOU'RE HIGH ON CRACK, HMM ?
IT'S A CHINESE RIDDLE FOR YOU.
OKAY, LET'S HAVE, UH, JENNY AND ROB.
I AIN'T DO THAT, RHONDA.
TYRONE, WE OPENED OUR HOME TO YOU.
YOU LET YOUR ADDICTION
LEAD YOU TO ABUSE OUR TRUST.
OH, JENNY, R-ROB, LOOK, Y'ALL,
IT'S ME YOU'RE TALKING TO,
I-- I WOULD NEVER HURT YOU.
OH, DON'T PLAY DUMB WITH US, TYRONE.
I REMEMBER THE WHOLE SPEECH.
I JUST NEED $200, I TAKE THESE REAL ESTATE CLASSES,
AND I'M BACK ON MY FEET, BABY.
I'M SERIOUS, ROB,
IT'S ME, BABY, IT'S TYRONE.
I'M CLEANING UP MY ACT.
OKAY.
TYRONE !
ROB, JENNY, Y'ALL AIN'T GONNA BE SORRY ABOUT THIS.
OH !
( Tyrone ) I STUDIED MY ASS OFF FOR THAT REAL ESTATE TEST.
AGH !
WE'RE OFF TO MY MOTHER'S.
WE'LL BE BACK SUNDAY EVENING.
THE NUMBER'S ON THE FRIDGE IF YOU NEED ANYTHING.
OKAY, BYE, JENNY, BYE, ROB.
I PASSED MY TEST AND WAS A CERTIFIED REAL ESTATE AGENT.
GOOD FOR YOU, TYRONE.
YEAH, DAMN RIGHT, GOOD FOR HIM.
( Rob ) HE SOLD OUR HOUSE AND KEPT THE MONEY.
$450,000 !
WHERE'S THE MONEY, TYRONE ?
HE SPENT IT ON A PARTY.
TOOK OUT AN AD FOR IT IN THE PAPER.
YOU DIDN'T GET YOUR INVITATION FOR THAT PARTY ?
OH, ROB, YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN IT,
WE HAD A PILE OF CRACK THIS HIGH.
I HAD A HEART ATTACK.
HEART ATTACK, YEAH.
I'LL GIVE YOU A HEART ATTACK !
ROB, ROB, ROB !
COME ON, COME ON...
I'M GETTING A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST YOU, ROB.
HAROLD, WHY DON'T YOU GO NEXT ?
ALL RIGHT.
TYRONE, I'M HERE BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.
WELL, IF YOU LOVE ME SO MUCH, HAROLD,
WHY'D YOU GET ME FIRED FROM THE POST OFFICE, HUH ?
DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE ON YOUR ROUTE
COMPLAINED OF RECEIVING OPEN MAIL ?
SEVEN ?
136, TYRONE.
AND THEN THERE WAS THE INCIDENT WITH THE POWDER.
( sniffing )
OH !
ATTENTION, EVERYBODY,
BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR ANY ENVELOPES MARKED
"SENATOR TOM DASCHLE" OR "TOM BROKAW".
IT MIGHT CONTAIN ANTHRAX.
FOR YOUR INFORMATION, THAT'S A LITTLE WHITE POWDER.
HAROLD, IS ANTHRAX BAD ?
YES, TYRONE.
AND IF IT FELL INTO THE WRONG HANDS
IT COULD BE BIG TROUBLE.
I GOT THAT ANTHRAX AND IT'S THE BOMB, BABY.
60 BUCKS !
IF THAT MAN HADN'T TURNED YOU IN,
IT WOULD'VE BEEN A DISASTER.
Y'ALL ACT LIKE CRACK IS SO BAD !
WELL, LIKE THE GOOD BOOK SAYS:
LET HE WHO IS WITHOUT SIN, THROWETH THE FIRST ROCK
AND I SHALT SMOKETH IT.
BASICALLY, TYRONE,
WE WOULD LIKE YOU TO CHECK INTO REHABILITATION IMMEDIATELY.
AW !
ALL RIGHT, OKAY, FINE, FINE.
YOU KNOW WHAT ?
I NEED TO GET BETTER, Y'ALL ARE RIGHT.
BUT FIRST STEP IS FIRST, I NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM,
AND THEN I'M ON MY WAY TO RECOVERY, RHONDA.
I GOT THE KEY.
AND THAT WASN'T ME, RHONDA !
GO TO THE BATHROOM !
OKAY, THANK-- I'VE GOT IT FROM HERE, THANK YOU.
I'LL BE RIGHT OUT.
OH !
OH, WHY DIDN'T THEY SAY THERE AIN'T NO WINDOWS IN HERE ?
OH !
HERE GOES NOTHIN' !
( flushing )
DRUGS HAVE RUINED MY LIFE !
♪ HE'S FINALLY HOME HE'S TYRONE ♪♪
-------------------------------------------
Chappelle's Show - Wrap It Up! - Duration: 2:28.
FOR YEARS WE'VE ALL WATCHED CELEBRITIES ACCEPTING AWARDS
GET PLAYED OFF BY THE HOUSE ORCHESTRA
WHEN THEIR SPEECH RUNS ON TOO LONG.
MY PARENTS WERE REALLY DISAPPOINTED
WHEN I DROPPED OUT OF SCHOOL FOR THAT YEAR,
BUT I FELT LIKE I REALLY JUST NEEDED TO FIND MYSELF.
WORD ?
BUT THEN, YOU KNOW, I WAS LIKE, YOU KNOW WHAT ?
LET ME JUST GO TO HOWARD LIKE MY FATHER, YOU KNOW ?
WELL, THEN, MY GIRLFRIEND GINA, SHE CALLED ME UP,
SHE SAID, "GIRL, YOU HAVE GOT TO GET DOWN TO EMORY,
DOWN TO HOTLANTA !
I WAS LIKE GINA, NUMBER ONE,
WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME UP, TRYING TO CONFUSE ME ?
YOU KNOW SPELMAN'S IN ATLANTA, TOO.
SECOND OF ALL, YOU KNOW I'M VACILLATING HERE, TRYING TO--
WITH "THE WRAP IT UP BOX,"
YOU'VE GOT THAT SAME POWER, RIGHT IN YOUR POCKET.
SO THEN I JUST WENT TO HOWARD, WHERE I MAJORED IN SOCIOLOGY,
AND MADE A LOT OF FRIENDS AND HAD A REALLY GOOD TIME !
SO THAT WAS COLLEGE, HOW ABOUT YOU ?
FROM THE MAKERS OF THE HOME STENOGRAPHER COMES
"THE WRAP IT UP BOX" !
IT'S LIKE BEING THE DIRECTOR OF AN AWARDS SHOW
EVERYWHERE YOU GO !
( pounding gavel )
YOUNG MAN, YOU'VE BEEN FOUND GUILTY BY A JURY OF YOUR PEERS.
THE CRIME YOU'VE COMMITTED WAS VERY SERIOUS,
AND BEFORE I SENTENCE YOU,
I'D LIKE TO SAY A FEW WORDS ABOUT YOUR ARREST RECORD--
WHAT THE HELL ?
YO, THE SIGN IS REAL SIMPLE, "B",
IT SAYS, "WRAP IT UP."
WRAP THAT SHIT UP, "B" !
I DON'T THINK THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
MAN, YOU WANT SOME TOO ?
YOU'D BETTER WRAP IT UP !
( pounding gavel )
YOU'D BETTER WRAP THAT GAVEL UP, "B" !
THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
THAT'S WHAT I WAS TELLING YOU.
WITH "THE WRAP IT UP BOX," THINGS WILL COME TO AN END
AT THE PERFECT TIME...
WHENEVER YOU WANT THEM TO.
I'M GONNA ROCK IT TONIGHT !
HAVE YOU EVER FELT THIS IN YOUR LIFE ?
I'M TAKING YOU ON A JOURNEY, GIRL !
( moaning )
PSYCH !
PSYCH, YOU THOUGHT I WAS DONE, DIDN'T YOU ?
IT AIN'T OVER.
( music playing )
FOR REAL ? NOT EVEN CLOSE ?
NOT EVEN CLOSE.
HOLD ON, NOW, HANG IN THERE WITH ME.
HOW ABOUT THAT ?
HEY, CAN YOU READ ?
WRAP IT UP.
YOU NEED TO WRAP IT UP !
WRAP IT UP !
( moaning )
THAT'S A WRAP !
WOO !
"THE WRAP IT UP BOX," IN STORES NOW !
AVAILABLE AT ALL WALDBAUM'S.
♪ STOP SKIPPING YOUR REMEDIAL CLASS ♪
-------------------------------------------
Chappelle's Show - R. Kelly's "Piss on You" Video - Duration: 2:08.
40 OUNCES OF MALT LIQUOR
MAKE ME WANT TO TELL YOU SOMETHIN'.
♪ SAID ROLLIN' AROUND SITTIN' ON DUBS ♪
♪ COUNTIN' THE HOURS HIGH ON SHRUBS ♪
♪ COOLIN' IN MY ESCALADE ♪
♪ MAN, I'M PAID I GOT IT MADE ♪
♪ TAKE ME TO YOUR SPECIAL PLACE ♪
♪ CLOSE YOUR EYES SHOW ME YOUR FACE ♪
♪ I'M GONNA PISS ON IT ♪
♪ HATERS WANNA HATE LOVERS WANNA LOVE ♪
♪ I DON'T EVEN WANT NONE OF THE ABOVE ♪
♪ I WANT TO PISS ON YOU YES, I DO ♪
♪ I'LL PISS ON YOU I'LL PEE ON YOU ♪
♪ SAID YOUR BODY YOUR BODY ♪
♪ IS A PORT-A-POTTY ♪
♪ I'MA PEE OUT KICK ♪
♪ I CAN USE KARATE USE KARATE ♪
♪ I'MA PEE ON YOU ♪
♪ DRIP, DRIP, DRIP PEE ON YOU ♪
♪ POUR ON YOU ♪
♪ PISS ON YOU PISS ON YOU ♪
♪ YOU'LL NEVER FEEL QUITE THE SAME ♪
♪ WHEN YOU GET A WHIFF OF MY HERSHEY STAINS ♪
♪ I WANNA POOP ON YOU TOO ♪
♪ I WANT TO PEE IN YOUR FOOD ♪
♪ ONLY THING TO MAKE MY LIFE COMPLETE ♪
♪ IS WHEN I TURN YOUR FACE INTO A TOILET SEAT ♪
♪ I WANT TO PEE ON YOU ♪
♪ YES, I DO YES, I DO ♪
♪ I'LL PEE ON YOU I'LL PISS ON YOU ♪
♪ HATERS WANNA HATE LOVERS WANNA LOVE ♪
♪ I DON'T EVEN WANT NONE OF THE ABOVE ♪
♪ I WANT TO PISS ON YOU YES, I DO ♪
♪ I'LL PISS ON YOU I'LL PEE ON YOU ♪
♪ WON'T YOU BRAID MY HAIR ♪
♪ SAY, WON'T YOU BRAID MY HAIR ♪
♪ BEFORE YOU START I'M GONNA FART ♪
♪ I'M GONNA FART ON YOU ♪♪
( applause and cheers )
-------------------------------------------
Chappelle's Show - The World Series of Dice - Uncensored - Duration: 6:07.
GOOD EVENING LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
AND WELCOME TO THE MARCY PROJECTS
HERE IN BROOKLYN, NEW YORK.
WHY ARE WE HERE?
TO BUY WEED?
NOT THIS TIME, BILL.
NOPE, EVERY ONE KNOWS WE'RE HERE FOR ONE REASON
AND ONE REASON ONLY.
WE'RE HERE FOR THE EIGHTH ANNUAL
WORLD SERIES OF DICE.
WELL, THAT'S RIGHT, ROB.
SOME OF THE GREATEST PLAYERS FROM AROUND THE WORLD
HAVE GATHERED HERE TO COMPETE FOR THE GRAND PRIZE:
ONE ANOTHER'S MONEY
AND BRAGGING RIGHTS FOR THE WHOLE YEAR.
LET'S MEET THEM, THESE KINGS OF CLICK-CLACK.
FROM KANSAS CITY, MISSOURI, LEGENDARY SHOOTER
GRITS N' GRAVY.
GRITS N' GRAVY.
KANSAS CITY, MISSOURI.
FLYING IN FROM THE FAR EAST IS PHYUCK YIU,
ONE OF THE PREMIER DICE PLAYERS
IN THE EASTERN HEMISPHERE.
HE HAS PLAYED DICE IN SOME OF THE GULLYEST OF GAMES.
PHYUCK YIU.
KONICHIWA, BITCHES!
DROP THE CARD, BABY!
AND THAT'S LEONARD WASHINGTON.
YOU KNOW THEY SAY,
"PAPA DIDN'T TAKE NO MESS."
WELL, NEITHER DOES LEONARD.
MY NAME'S LEONARD WASHINGTON.
WHERE I'M FROM?
A LITTLE TOWN CALLED
"NONE OF YOUR GOD DAMN BUSINESS."
LET'S PLAY SOME DICE, BITCHES.
AND FINALLY, FROM THESE VERY PROJECTS,
LOCAL LEGEND ASHY LARRY.
WHY DO THEY CALL HIM ASHY LARRY?
WELL, THERE'S YOUR ANSWER.
ASHY LARRY.
MARCY PROJECTS.
MARCY, SON. WHAT.
OKAY, LARRY GETS FIRST ROLL.
LET'S SEE HOW HE DOES.
THAT MAN IS DRIER THAN KUNTA KINTE'S ANKLE.
COME ON, LET'S GO.
I STOLE THIS MONEY OUT OF MY GIRL'S PURSE.
SHE THINK I'M OUT EMPTYING THE TRASH.
COME ON, BABY, I NEED THIS.
WHAT YOU NEED IS SOME CHAPSTICK
AND A SET OF TROUSERS.
ROLL THE DICE, YOU ASHY MOTHER FUCKER.
START THE GAME.
ALL RIGHT, BUT I'M ABOUT TO GO FROM ASHY TO CLASSY.
[moaning]
OOH, AND JUST LIKE THAT, ASHY LARRY IS ELIMINATED.
OUCH.
SHE GONNA KILL ME. KEISHA GONNA KILL ME.
LARRY, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?
I WAS--OKAY, REMEMBER, I WAS EMPTYING THE TRASH--
AND THAT BETTER NOT BE THE MONEY
OUT MY GOD DAMN PURSE!
I WAS--OKAY, REMEMBER--
PICK THE SHIT UP AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.
THAT'S JUST WHAT I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU!
I WAS JUST TAKING THE TRASH OUT.
YOU HEAR ME? I WAS JUST TAKING THE TRASH--
SHE IS GONNA FUCK HIM UP.
YOU SAID IT, BILL.
OKAY, GRITS N' GRAVY IS UP NEXT.
NOW, GRITS IS MOST KNOWN FOR ONCE ROLLING
77 SEVENS IN A ROW AT A CASINO IN LAS VEGAS,
MAKING HIM A MILLIONAIRE IN THE PROCESS.
WELL, YOU KNOW, ROB, EARLIER TODAY,
WE ASKED HIM WHAT HE DID WITH THE MONEY.
LET'S TAKE A LOOK.
I BOUGHT MY MAMA A CAR.
I SPENT THE REST ON PCP.
OKAY, SIMPLE ENOUGH.
I LIKE HIS STYLE.
LOVES HIS MOTHER.
LOVES PCP.
GRITS N' GRAVY IS READY TO ROLL.
LET'S SEE HOW HE DOES.
COME ON, PUT IN.
ALL RIGHT.
PUT UP OR SHUT UP.
ALL RIGHT. JUST HOLD ON.
TIME TO DOUBLE UP!
HERE TO TAKE EVERYBODY MONEY.
SEVEN! SEVEN!
SEVEN!
WHAT YOU ALL KNOW ABOUT SEVEN?
PAY ME.
BOY, YOU ARE THE GODDAMN DEVIL.
PUT IT DOWN THERE. PUT IT DOWN THERE!
LET'S SPREAD THIS AROUND. YES.
HUBBA-HUBBA!
A'IGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M TIRED.
I AIN'T GOT ALL DAY.
I GOT BABIES TO KISS AND BITCHES TO CATCH.
ALL IN.
ALL IN?
I SEE YOU.
[dramatic whistling]
AND LEONARD LAYING IT ON THICK.
AN INCREDIBLE STARE DOWN
BETWEEN LEONARD AND GRITS.
LOOK AT THE FLARING NOSTRILS.
MAKES ME WANT TO THROW UP.
OOH!
SNAKE EYES! DAMN!
AND JUST LIKE THAT, GRITS IS ELIMINATED.
AND WHEN I LEAVE, COME TOGETHER LIKE BUTT CHEEKS.
AND IT COMES DOWN TO THESE TWO MEN,
LEONARD WASHINGTON AND PHYUCK YIU.
I WANT EVERYBODY IN HERE TO GET BUTT-ASS NAKED!
GET YOUR GODDAMN CLOTHES OFF!
THIS IS A ROBBERY!
AND ALMOST ON CUE THE GAME GETS ROBBED.
LOCAL THUG RODNEY "QUILLS" DINKINS,
BREAKING INTO THE MARCY PROJECTS HALLWAY HERE
AND TELLING US ALL TO GET BUTT NAKED.
YOU KNOW, BILL, DICE GAMES GET ROBBED.
IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME.
THEY VERY RARELY COME TO A REASONABLE END.
TV IS NO DIFFERENT.
WHAT YOU WAITING FOR, COOL BREEZE?
GET BUTT NAKED RIGHT NOW!
GET IT OFF, SON!
FIRST OF ALL, YOU BETTER CHECK YOUR TONE WITH ME, MAN.
I DON'T THINK YOU KNOW WHO YOU'RE TALKING TO.
I'M LEONARD WASHINGTON.
I DON'T GET BUTT NAKED FOR NOBODY.
YOU WANT THIS ROLL, NIGGA,
YOU GONNA HAVE TO SHOOT ME.
OKAY.
THIS MOTHER FUCKER HAS LOST HIS MIND.
GOD DAMN!
AND LEONARD TAKES A SLUG TO THE LEG.
OH, BUT I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING, ROB,
YOU NOTICED HE SHOT HIM BELOW THE WAIST,
SO IT'S NOT ATTEMPTED MURDER.
THAT WAS VERY INTELLIGENT ON QUILLS' PART.
QUILLS KNOWS THE LAW.
THIS IS WHY BLACK PEOPLE DON'T HAVE NOTHING.
THIS IS JUST WHAT THEY WANT US TO DO.
YOUR MOTHER AIN'T SHIT.
AND JUST IN TIME, HERE COMES DUMB ASS ASHY LARRY.
WHERE THE DICE? WHERE THE DICE?
WHERE THE DICE?
YO, GIVE ME THAT MONEY, SON!
GO UPSTAIRS AND PUT ON SOME LOTION, RIGHT NOW!
KEISHA TOLD ME JUST TO EMPTY THE TRASH.
WELL, ROB, I GOT TO ADMIT,
I SAW THIS ROBBERY COMING FROM A MILE AWAY,
WHICH IS WHY I PUT MY CAR KEYS UP MY ASS.
QUICK THINKING.
THAT'S RIGHT, BITCH. GET THEM GODDAMN CLOTHES OFF.
GET THAT MONEY UP. GET THAT MONEY UP!
OKAY, OKAY.
SO ON BEHALF OF BILL BURR AND QUILLS,
I'M ROBERT PETCOFF SAYING--
GET THAT RING OFF. GET THAT RING OFF, MAN!
SORRY, HONEY.
SO LONG FROM THE MARCY PROJECTS
AND THE WORLD SERIES OF DICE.
HOPEFULLY, NEXT YEAR,
WE'LL BE ABLE TO GET ALL THE WAY THROUGH IT,
BUT PROBABLY NOT.
SHUT THE FUCK UP, MAN!
PUT THEM CAMERAS IN A BOX!
-------------------------------------------
Chappelle's Show - Hip-Hop News - Wu-Tang Torture - Duration: 1:17.
AND NOW A HIP-HOP NEWSBREAK
WITH CHUCK TAYLOR
GOOD EVENING, I'M CHUCK TAYLOR.
IT'S BEEN A VERY BUSY DAY IN THE NEWS.
A LOT OF THINGS HAVE HAPPENED.
A STATEN ISLAND MAN IS LISTED IN STABLE CONDITION TONIGHT
AFTER A BRUTAL ASSAULT BY RAPPER METHOD MAN
FOLLOWING AN ARGUMENT.
THE VICTIM ADDRESSED THE PRESS EARLIER TODAY.
IT WAS TORTURE. STRAIGHT TORTURE, SON.
FIRST HE PUT MY NUTS ON THE DRESSER.
IT WAS CRAZY--JUST MY NUTS.
AND THEN HE BANGED THEM (BLEEP) WITH A SPIKED BAT, LIKE "BOW!"
[audience groans]
AND THEN, HE SEWED MY ASSHOLE SHUT.
KEPT FEEDING ME AND FEEDING ME AND FEEDING ME!
THIS ALL TOOK PLACE IN THE SLUMS OF SHAOLIN.
THERE WAS THE RZA, THE GZA, OL' DIRTY BASTARD,
RAEKWON THE CHEF, U-GOD, INSPECTAH DECK,
AND OF COURSE, THE METHOD MAN.
THE VICTIM ALSO SAID THAT
AT ONE POINT DURING THE ALTERCATION,
METHOD MAN PUT A HANGER ON THE STOVE
AND LEFT IT FOR, LIKE, 40 MINUTES
AND THEN HE STUCK IT IN HIS ASS REAL SLOW.
LIKE, "SSS..."
AT THIS POINT, METHOD MAN IS STILL AT LARGE,
SO STAY TUNED TO NEWS CHANNEL 3 FOR THIS AND OTHER STORIES.
I'M CHUCK TAYLOR.
-------------------------------------------
Chappelle's Show - Celebrity Trial Jury Selection - Duration: 4:32.
ARE YOU AWARE OF THE CHARGES
THAT MICHAEL JACKSON IS CURRENTLY FACING?
YES, SIR.
AH, AND FOR THE RECORD, THESE CHARGES HURT ME THE MOST.
SO HE'S GUILTY.
LOOK, MAN. LOOK.
MICHAEL JACKSON HAS MANY FACES.
NONE OF THEM LOOK GUILTY TO ME.
YOU GOT TO LOOK IN THE EYES, NOT THE NOSES.
HE'S BEEN ACCUSED OF THIS MORE THAN ONCE.
SO?
SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT CUCUMBERS TASTE BETTER PICKLED.
WHAT? HUH?
WHAT? HUH?
WHAT IF I TOLD YOU THAT THE ACCUSERS
CORRECTLY DESCRIBED MICHAEL'S PENIS TO INVESTIGATORS.
SIR, I HAVE NEVER SEEN MICHAEL'S ALLEGED PENIS,
BUT I BET YOU THAT I COULD DESCRIBE IT, ALL RIGHT?
LET ME GUESS.
THERE'S A HEAD, A SHAFT, SOME BALLS,
HAIR--MAYBE PRESSED, PERMED HAIR
WITH GLITTER SPRINKLED ON IT.
THAT IS CORRECT.
WHOA, HOW'D I KNOW?
COME ON, DUDE, I COULDN'T PICK MY OWN PENIS
OUT OF A LINEUP, ALL RIGHT?
AND ME AND MY PENIS IS LIKE THIS, SON.
WHAT ABOUT MICHAEL SAYING IT'S OKAY
TO HAVE CHILDREN SLEEP WITH HIM?
THAT DON'T MEAN ANYTHING.
I'M SURE THERE'S PLENTY OF KIDS THAT SLEEP IN THE BED
WITH THEIR ADULTS ALL THE TIME AND NOTHING HAPPENS.
SO YOU DO YOU THINK MICHAEL JACKSON
IS GUILTY OF THE CHARGES AGAINST HIM?
NO, MAN.
HE MADE THRILLER.
THRILLER.
SO YOU'D LET YOUR CHILDREN SLEEP WITH HIM.
(BLEEP) NO!
EW.
ARE YOU AWARE THAT ROBERT BLAKE
IS FACING A CHARGE OF MURDER?
OH, YEAH.
BARETTA DID THAT (BLEEP).
MR. CHAPPELLE, ARE YOU AWARE THAT ROBERT KELLY
IS BEING CHARGED WITH CHILD PORNOGRAPHY?
YES, I'VE HEARD OF SUCH THINGS.
YOU'VE SEEN THE VIDEO TAPES?
HAVE I SEEN IT?
LIKE 80 TIMES.
YOU KNOW THE PART WHERE HE'S WAITING FOR HER TO COME OVER,
AND HE'S LOOKING IN THE CAMERA LIKE...
[grunting]
SO YOU THINK THAT IT WAS ROBERT KELLY ON THE TAPE?
WELL, I'D HAVE TO SAY IT WAS.
SO THEN YOU BELIEVE
HE URINATED ON A 15-YEAR-OLD GIRL.
WHOA, HOLD ON, LADY!
I DIDN'T SAY ALL THAT.
YOU KNOW WITH THESE TAPES THEY CAN DO A LOT OF THINGS.
FOR ALL I KNOW, THAT PISS WAS DIGITAL.
THEY GET CRAZY WITH SPECIAL EFFECTS.
LOOK, LOOK, CHECK THIS OUT.
I DIDN'T EVEN JUST DO THAT.
DID I DO THAT?
THAT PISS WAS DIGITAL.
THEY'LL DO CRAZY STUFF WITH SPECIAL EFFECTS.
WHAT ABOUT THE GIRL CORROBORATING THE STORY?
SO WHAT?
HOW MUCH MONEY DOES THIS GIRL STAND TO MAKE
BY "CO-OBORATING" THIS STORY?
I TELL YOU WHAT, YOU GIVE ME THAT KIND OF MONEY,
R. KELLY CAN FART IN MY DINNER TONIGHT.
SPRAY-FART.
SO BESIDES THE TAPE AND THE GIRL
CORROBORATING THE ALLEGATIONS,
WHAT MORE WOULD IT TAKE FOR YOU TO BELIEVE HE'S GUILTY?
ALL RIGHT, IF I SAW A TAPE OF R. KELLY PEEING ON A GIRL
WHILE HE WAS SINGING "PISS ON YOU"...
♪ LOVERS WANNA LOVE... ♪
AND THE GIRL WAS HOLDING TWO FORMS OF GOVERNMENT I.D.,
WHILE A POLICE OFFICER WAS THERE,
LIKE, FOUR OR FIVE OF MY BUDDIES,
AND NEAL TAKING NOTES...
WELL-- I'M NOT FINISHED.
AND HIS GRANDMOTHER HAS TO BE THERE
TO CONFIRM HIS IDENTIFY.
THAT'S MY ROBERT, ALWAYS PEEING ON PEOPLE.
DON'T FORGET HER HAIR, ROBERT.
YES, GRANDMOTHER.
MR. CHAPPELLE, ISN'T THAT EXCESSIVE?
NO, NO, IT'S NOT EXCESSIVE.
LISTEN, LADY, THE BURDEN OF PROOF IS ON THE STATE.
ON THE STATE!
YOU HAVE GOT TO PROVE TO ME
BEYOND A REASONABLE DOUBT
WHETHER OR NOT THIS MAN IS A PISSER.
AREN'T YOUR DOUBTS UNREASONABLE?
NO, IT'S NOT UNREASONABLE.
LOOK, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT A JUSTICE SYSTEM
THAT HAD 500 PEOPLE WHOSE CASES WERE OVERTURNED
BY DNA EVIDENCE.
I'VE SEEN A TAPE WHERE FIVE COPS BEAT UP A NIGGA,
AND THEY SAID THAT THEY HAD REASONABLE DOUBT.
I GOT MY DOUBTS TOO, ALL RIGHT?
HOW COME THEY DIDN'T FIND BIG AND TUPAC'S MURDERERS
BUT THEY ARREST O.J. THE NEXT DAY?
NICOLE SIMPSON CAN'T RAP.
I WANT JUSTICE!
YOU ARE ALL--
THIS WHOLE GODDAMN COURT IS OUT OF ORDER.
EVERYBODY!
MR. CHAPPELLE, YOU'RE DISMISSED.
AND THAT'S FROM THE HEART.
-------------------------------------------
Chappelle's Show - "Roots" Outtakes - Duration: 1:46.
( narrator ) 25 YEARS AGO,
AN EPIC MOTION PICTURE WAS UNLEASHED ON AMERICA,
CONSIDERED ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT FILMS IN HISTORY.
WE ARE NOW PROUD TO RELEASE THIS MASTERPIECE ON D.V.D.
FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME.
THIS ONE-OF-A-KIND, 25th ANNIVERSARY
COMMEMORATIVE EDITION
FEATURES EXTRAS INCLUDING CAST INTERVIEWS,
DIRECTOR COMMENTARY, AND NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN OUTTAKES.
KIZZIE, BEHOLD, THE ONLY THING GREATER THAN YOURSELF.
OH, OH !
OH, I'M-- HEY, I'M SORRY.
I TOLD Y'ALL NOT TO GIVE ME A REAL BABY.
PISSIN' ALL OVER ME AND ( beep ).
CATCH ALL THE GAGS, SPILLS, AND HILARIOUS PRACTICAL JOKES.
♪ COMING FORTH TO CARRY ME HOME ♪
YOUR NAME IS TOBY !
KUNTA KINTE !
OH !
I SAID, YOUR NAME IS TOBY !
KUNTA KINTE !
DAMN !
STEVE, WHAT'D I SAY ABOUT HITTING SO HARD, MAN ?
I'M SORRY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT ?
YOU SORRY ?
I'M GONNA SHOW YOU SORRY, MAN !
I'M GONNA SHOW YOU SORRY !
( laughing )
I TOLD Y'ALL HE'S SCARED OF ME !
HOLD ON, LET ME GET UP THERE.
THE ROOTS 25th ANNIVERSARY COMMEMORATIVE EDITION ON D.V.D.
( man ) INCLUDING ALL WALDBAUM'S !
-------------------------------------------
Chappelle's Show - The Wayne Brady Show - Uncensored - Duration: 3:02.
- DAVE, I GOT TO TELL YOU, MAN,
I'M REALLY HAPPY TO BE HANGING OUT WITH YOU.
THIS IS NICE.
- OH, MAN, IT'S JUST BEEN GREAT, MAN.
- WELL, SAME HERE, MAN.
YOU BUSY WITH YOUR SHOW. I GOT MY STUFF.
THIS IS REALLY COOL.
- YEAH, MAN, YOU SEE, THAT'S THE THING
WITH BLACK ACTORS, MAN.
WE NEED TO JUST UNIFY. WE CAN'T JUST BE OUT LIKE--
- EXACTLY.
- HEY, HOLD UP, WAYNE, I THINK YOU PASSED OUR TURN.
THE RESTAURANT'S BACK THAT WAY.
- NAH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
RELAX.
- WHAT, YOU GOING TO GET SOME WEED?
- [laughs] NO.
- YOU GONNA GET SOME WEED, HOLLA AT YOUR BOY.
I KNOW THE SPOT.
- HOLD ON. - ALL RIGHT.
- THERE HE IS.
BREAK YOURSELF, FOOL!
- AWW, (BLEEP), IT'S WAYNE BRADY, SON!
[gunfire]
- OH!
OH!
WHAT THE (BLEEP) YOU DOING?
- RIVERSIDE, MOTHA(BLEEP)!
- GODDAMN!
- [cackles]
- WHAT THE (BLEEP) ARE YOU DOING?
- DAVE, CALM DOWN.
- WHAT YOU MEAN, CALM DOWN? YOU JUST--
- DAVE, RELAX. - YOU JUST SHOT PEOPLE, WAYNE!
- DAVE, DAVE. - THOSE WERE PEOPLE YOU SHOT!
GODDAMN, MAN, YOU GOT A DAYTIME EMMY, NIGGA.
YOU AIN'T SUPPOSED TO BE DOIN' (BLEEP) LIKE THIS.
- DAVE, YOU MAKING ME NERVOUS.
YOU MAKING ME THINK THAT YOU GONNA SNITCH.
NOW, YOU'RE NOT GONNA SNITCH, RIGHT?
- NO, MAN, COME ON, NOW, I AIN'T NO SNITCH.
- NOW, YOU SURE YOU'RE NOT GONNA SNITCH?
- IT'S ME, NIGGA, IT'S DAVE, BABY.
- MOTHER(BLEEP), YOU GONNA SNITCH ON ME?
- YO, NIGGA, COME ON. IT'S ME, IT'S DAVE.
WE BLACK ACTORS, MAN, WE GOT TO STICK TOGETHER.
WE BLACK ACTORS. I AIN'T GONNA SNITCH ON YOU.
COME ON, IT'S ME, BABY. IT'S DAVE.
IT'S DAVE CHAPPELLE. IT'S YOUR BOY.
- OKAY. SORRY, MAN.
- I GOT TO GET SOME MONEY, MAN.
I GOT TO GO TO THE ATM. I DON'T HAVE NO MONEY.
- I'LL GET SOME MONEY.
ALL RIGHT, RIGHT HERE.
- WHERE'S THE ATM AT?
- WE AT IT.
HEY!
[car horn plays "La Cucaracha"]
- HEY, DADDY.
- HOES, DAVE.
DAVE, HOES.
- GOOD EVENING, BITCHES.
- WE DID GOOD TONIGHT.
- THAT'S WHAT I LIKE TO HEAR.
THAT'S-- OH, THAT'S NICE.
HEY, BABY!
THANK YOU.
ALL RIGHT, MORE POWER TO ME.
[laughs] ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU, BABY.
OH--OH, RAQUEL, WHAT'S THIS?
MR. FRANKLIN'S LONELY.
HE'S-- THERE'S ONLY--
- SORRY, DADDY.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "SORRY, DADDY?"
WHAT THE HELL DID--
IS WAYNE BRADY GONNA HAVE TO CHOKE A BITCH?
I'M GONNA HAVE TO GET OUT OF THIS CAR AND CHOKE--
I'M NOT VIOLENT. I TRY NOT TO BE.
I'M A-- YOU KNOW WHAT?
- WAYNE, COME ON, MAN. COME ON, WAYNE.
- NO, NO, NO, I'M GONNA GET OUTTA THIS CAR RIGHT NOW.
- COME ON, WILL YOU PLEASE-- PLEASE, MAN?
COME ON, JUST-- JUST LET IT SLIDE.
- [exhales]
YOU BETTER THANK DAVE CHAPPELLE.
GO AHEAD.
- THANK YOU, DAVE, AND I LIKE YOUR SHOW.
- RUN, BITCH! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!
GET SOME HELP!
I'M JUST PLAYING AROUND. YOU KNOW.
-------------------------------------------
Chappelle's Show - Wu-Tang Financial - Uncensored - Duration: 1:38.
THE MOST PRECIOUS THING IN THE WORLD
IS THE FINANCIAL SECURITY AND WELL-BEING OF YOUR FAMILY.
YOU WANNA SEND YOUR LITTLE ONES TO THE BEST SCHOOLS,
AND IN THE END,
KNOW THAT YOU'VE LEFT THEM WITH PEACE OF MIND.
NOWADAYS WE ALL KNOW THAT CASH RULES EVERYTHING AROUND US:
CREAM, GET THE MONEY, DOLLAR-DOLLAR BILL, Y'ALL.
THAT'S WHY IT'S TIME TO ENTER THE 36 CHAMBERS.
COME STEP TO THE "WU", WU-TANG FINANCIAL.
AT WU-TANG FINANCIAL, WE'LL WORK WITH YOU
TO DEVISE THE BEST PLAN FOR YOU AND YOUR FAM.
I MEAN, SMITH BARNEY--
BUNCH OF BITCHES.
OLD-TIME FARTS.
YOU GOTTA KNOW HOW TO JACK THIS (BLEEP).
YOU GOTTA PLAY THIS GAME ROUGH.
IN, OUT, GET, GRAB, BONK.
YOU NEED TO DIVERSIFY YOUR BONDS, NIGGA.
MILITARY IS BLOWIN' UP.
WE ABOUT TO GO TO WAR, INVEST IN SOME NUCLEAR BOMBS.
THIS AIN'T TRADING PLACES, NIGGA.
THIS IS REAL (BLEEP) LIFE !
PROTECT YOUR GODDAMN NECK, A'IGHT ?
WU-TANG FINANCIAL, A PLACE FOR YOU AND YOUR KIDS.
ALL OF OUR TRUSTED CONSULTANTS ARE HERE TO MEET YOUR NEEDS.
UNFORTUNATELY, THE OL' DIRTY BASTARD COULDN'T MAKE IT TODAY,
BUT HE SENDS HIS REGARDS: DOO-DA-DOO-DA-DOO-DA.
SO CALL US,
BECAUSE AT THE END OF THE DAY,
WU-TANG CLAN AIN'T NOTHIN' TO (BLEEP) WITH.
♪ WU-TANG CLAN AIN'T NOTHIN' TO (BLEEP) WITH ♪
♪ WU-TANG CLAN AIN'T NOTHIN' TO (BLEEP) WITH ♪
♪ WU-TANG CLAN AIN'T NOTHIN' TO (BLEEP) WITH ♪
♪ WU-TANG CLAN AIN'T NOTHIN' TO (BLEEP) WITH ♪♪
STEP TO THE "WU", WU-TANG FINANCIAL.
-------------------------------------------
Chappelle's Show - Charlie Murphy's True Hollywood Stories - Prince - Uncensored - Duration: 6:05.
I CAN RECALL ANOTHER ONE, LIKE, IN, YOU KNOW
I THINK IT WAS IN '85, LIKE,
WHEN ALL THAT ANDROGYNOUS S**T WAS GOING ON,
AND WHAT WAS WILD WAS THAT
THE GUY WHO LOOKED THE MOST LIKE A BITCH
WAS GETTING ALL THE WOMEN.
EVEN I HAD IT-- THE JERRY CURL WAS COMING OUT,
AND I HAD MY S**T SLICKED TO THE SIDE AND ALL THAT.
IF YOU WEARING BAGGY S**T NOW AND YOU ACTING HARD,
IF YOU FROM L.A.,
YOU MOTHERF**KERS WAS WEARING SOME STRANGE S**T.
WE IN THE CLUB.
WE GETTING OUR GROOVE ON, SHAKING IT UP,
AND PRINCE CAME IN THERE.
THAT'S WHEN PURPLE RAIN CAME OUT,
AND PRINCE WAS THE S**T, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
PRINCE HAD ON, LIKE, A--
IT WAS LIKE A ZORRO-TYPE OUTFIT.
IT HAD THE RUFFLES THAT COME DOWN THE FRONT.
HE HAD THE BIG PERM FLUFFED OUT AND ALL THAT.
AND THE MUSTACHE, YOU KNOW, JUST DRAWN ON HIS FACE.
AND IT LOOKED LIKE SOMETHING THAT A FIGURE SKATER WOULD WEAR,
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
AND HE WAS WITH HIS WHOLE CREW,
AND HE HAD THIS OTHER CAT NAMED MICKI FREE,
AND MICKEY FREE WAS, LIKE, THE NEW CAT IN SHALAMAR
THAT, WHEN HE JOINED THE GROUP,
I HEARD MAD CATS, LIKE,
"YO, SHALAMAR GOT THIS NEW GIRL IN THERE.
MAN, THAT BITCH FINE LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER."
THEY WAS TALKING ABOUT MICKEY FREE, OKAY?
MICKEY FREE IS NOT A GIRL, ALL RIGHT?
THEY CAME OVER WHERE WE WAS AT.
PRINCE STARTED TALKING TO MY BROTHER.
HELLO, EDDIE MURPHY.
PRINCE, WHAT'S UP?
I'M A BIG FAN OF YOUR COMEDIES.
OOH, THAT'S HOT, PRINCE.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME TO MY HOUSE
AND LISTEN TO SOME MUSIC?
OOH, THAT'S COOL.
FRUITY, GET THE CAR.
ASSEMBLE YOUR CREW.
I'LL BE OUTSIDE.
WE WENT UP THERE.
WE GET THERE. HE PUTS THE TRACKS ON.
THE TRACKS ARE SLAMMING, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
AND WE'RE LISTENING TO THE MUSIC AND EVERYTHING.
GROOVING AT THE CRIB.
HE HAD GIRLS OVER THERE.
HE HAD A NICE ENVIRONMENT. IT WAS TIGHT.
THIS BORES ME.
IS ANYONE UP FOR A GAME OF BASKETBALL?
[laughs]
HOW ABOUT YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS
VERSUS ME AND THE REVOLUTION?
[laughs]
SO I WAS LIKE, "THIS NIGGA MUST BE JOKING, MAN."
I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE'S GOING WITH THIS AND S**T.
BUT HE WAS DEAD SERIOUS.
HE HAD HIS, UH, HELPER OR WHATEVER
GO AND GET SOME, LIKE, SHORTS AND SNEAKERS
AND GAVE THEM TO US.
AND LAUGHING, I'M LIKE,
"THIS IS GONNA BE SOME FUNNY-ASS S**T."
SO THEY COME OUT, RIGHT?
AND I LOOK AT THEM, AND, UM,
THEY STILL GOT ON THE SAME S**T THEY WAS WEARING AT THE CLUB.
IT WAS WILD, AND I WAS LIKE,
"I KNOW THEY AIN'T THINKING ABOUT PLAYING BALL IN THAT,"
BUT THEY WERE.
I SAID, "HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?"
YOU KNOW WHAT WE'RE GONNA CALL THIS?
THE SHIRTS AGAINST THE BLOUSES.
[laughter]
AND WHEN I SAID THAT, THIS LOOK CAME ON HIS FACE.
HE ICE GRILLED ME.
AND I'M LOOKING BACK AT HIM, THINKING TO MYSELF,
YOU KNOW, "WHAT ARE YOU ANGRY ABOUT?
"I MEAN, YOU KNOW WHERE YOU GOT THAT SHIRT FROM,
AND IT DAMN SURE WASN'T THE MEN'S DEPARTMENT."
I MEAN, I KIND OF LEARNED SOMETHING THAT DAY:
DON'T NEVER JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER.
THIS CAT COULD BALL, MAN.
PLAY BALL.
HE WAS CROSSING CATS LIKE ICE.
CROSSED ME UP.
MADE MY KNEES SLAM TOGETHER.
HE WAS GETTING REBOUNDS LIKE CHARLES BARKLEY.
SNATCHING IT DOWN!
SHOOT THE "J."
SHOOT IT!
LET'S RUN A PLAY. COMPUTER BLUE.
DARLING PICKY.
OWW!
THEY WAS KIND OF SETTING THESE FRUITY PICKS, MAN,
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
LIKE, YOU'D BE TRYING TO CHECK PRINCE,
AND THEN YOU GO THIS CAT STANDING BEHIND YOU,
AND HE'S GETTING CLOSE TO YOU,
AND HIS HANDS IS OUT LIKE THIS.
YOU DON'T REALLY WANT TO BE BENT OVER
IN FRONT OF A CAT LIKE THAT, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
PRINCE WAS INCREDIBLE!
PRINCE, YOU GOT A TOWEL, MAN?
IT'S KIND OF HOT OUT HERE, MAN.
WHY DON'T YOU PURIFY YOURSELF IN THE WATERS
OF LAKE MINNETONKA.
GOOD.
IN YOUR FACE, CHARLIE MURPHY.
GOOD.
GOOD HUSTLE. [slap]
YO, MAN, I'M NOT ON YOUR TEAM.
I MEAN, IT WASN'T EVEN LIKE IT WAS CLOSE.
IT WAS A LANDSLIDE VICTORY.
GAME.
BLOUSES.
I WAS THERE. I SEEN IT.
YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME?
YOU THINK I'M MAKING IT UP?
YOU THINK I'M TRYING TO, UH, YOU KNOW,
ENHANCE THE STORY BECAUSE I'M INVOLVED?
OR TRYING TO GIVE MYSELF AN EXCUSE FOR LOSING
BECAUSE I'M TELLING YOU A STORY ABOUT PRINCE?
I DARE YOU TO CHALLENGE PRINCE TO A GAME OF BALL ONE-ON-ONE.
CHALLENGE HIM!
A'IGHT?
AND MAKE SURE YOUR PEOPLE IS THERE TO SEE THE GAME.
'CAUSE YOU MIGHT GET EMBARRASSED.
TRUST ME.
ALL RIGHT, HE BEAT YOU IN BASKETBALL,
AND THEN WHAT HAPPENED?
AFTER IT WAS ALL OVER,
HE TOOK US IN THE HOUSE AND SERVED US PANCAKES.
PANCAKES.
WELL, I GOT TO ADMIT, UM,
IT WAS A GOOD GAME.
I WISH I COULD SAY THE SAME FOR YOU
AND YOUR CREW OF FLUNKIES.
DO YOU GUYS WANT SOME GRAPES?
I MEAN, YOU KNOW,
THERE'S SOME GREAT STORYTELLERS
IN THE WORLD THAT WE LIVE IN TODAY, MAN.
BITCHES.
WHO THE FUCK CAN MAKE UP THAT SHIT?
[cheers and applause]
-------------------------------------------
Latest Kurta/Kurti Designs | Latest Indian/Pakistani Fashion | 2018 | BY DAHAB COLLECTION - Duration: 3:06.
Latest Kurta/Kurti Designs | Latest Indian/Pakistani Fashion | 2018 | BY DAHAB COLLECTION
Latest Kurta/Kurti Designs | Latest Indian/Pakistani Fashion | 2018 | BY DAHAB COLLECTION
Latest Kurta/Kurti Designs | Latest Indian/Pakistani Fashion | 2018 | BY DAHAB COLLECTION
-------------------------------------------
[Oh!쎈 컷] 집사부 이승기 방송 최초 집 공개..밀린 예능 모니터 DKO 뉴스 - Duration: 3:07.
[OSEN=김보라 기자] '집사부일체'에서 이승기, 이상윤,
양세형, 육성재의 4인 4색 라이프 스타일이 공개된다.
오늘(31일) 오후 6시 25분에 첫 방송되는 SBS 새 예능
'집사부일체'에서 3년 만에 예능 복귀로 화제가 된 이승기의
집이 방송 최초로 공개된다.
'집사부일체'를 통해 전역 직후부터 예능 복귀 첫 날까지의
일상을 낱낱이 공개할 이승기는 몸매 유지를 위해 운동을 쉬지
않는 등 여전히 군인 티를 벗어나지 못한 모습을 보인다.
폭풍 운동에 이어 이승기는 TV 시청으로 하루를 보냈다.
편안한 자세로 소파에 누워 그동안 밀린 예능과 드라마 모니터링에
심취하는 한편, 가요 프로그램을 보며 후배 아이돌 가수의 무대에
감탄하는 모습을 보이기도.
뿐만 아니라 이날 방송을 통해 배우 이상윤의 하우스 또한 공개된다.
인테리어부터 청결 상태까지 흠잡을 곳 하나 없는 그의 집을
본 멤버들이 경악을 금치 못했다는 후문.
심지어 양세형은 '너무 깨끗해서 사이코패스가 사는 집 같다'고
너스레를 떨어 현장을 웃음바다로 만들었다.
또 다른 멤버인 '예능 대세' 양세형과 비투비 육성재의 라이프
스타일도 궁금증을 자아낸다.
제작진에 따르면 양세형은 머리끝부터 발끝까지 '잇 아이템'으로
풀 장착을 하고 나타나 패션피플다운 면모를 보여줬다고 한다.
[사진] SBS 제공
-------------------------------------------
Featuring Musician Megan Ni...
-------------------------------------------
For more infomation >> Featuring Musician Megan Ni...-------------------------------------------
Jay-Z y Beyoncé exponen infidelidad en video - Duration: 4:03.
-------------------------------------------
For more infomation >> Jay-Z y Beyoncé exponen infidelidad en video - Duration: 4:03.-------------------------------------------
【鋒味】謝霆鋒煮牛鞭牛睪丸進補 王祖藍:我有那麼大的問題嗎? - Duration: 3:21.
-------------------------------------------
For more infomation >> 【鋒味】謝霆鋒煮牛鞭牛睪丸進補 王祖藍:我有那麼大的問題嗎? - Duration: 3:21.-------------------------------------------
Aussie Gaming Podcast
-------------------------------------------
Manhattan - NYC - Duration: 8:39.
-------------------------------------------
Most Funny Snake Video|| Letest updated|| - Duration: 0:35.
Snake
Pppppppiiipppii
-------------------------------------------
English phrases and expressions to talk about Sleep | Daily sentences | Sleep vocabulary | idioms - Duration: 4:39.
hello friends i'm Bhushan welcome to english-speaking diary today we are
going to learn english phrases and expressions to talk about Sleep in the
previous lesson we have discuss about English phrases and expressions if you
haven't watched that video yet please get the link at the top of your screen
or you can get the link from description box below okay
in this lesson we will learn sleep vocabulary sleep phrases sleep idioms
sleep expressions and also we are going to study daily sentences about sleep
first we will study sleep vocabulary the
first word is to crash this word has a lot of different meanings here it means
to go to sleep also it means to sleep at someone else house without planning the
second word is snooze you can use this word as a verb or as a noun for a verb
it means to sleep for a short time or for a noun it means a short or light
sleep so let's see some of daily sentences about
sleep if you don't wanna go home you can crash over here for today's night
is it okay if I crash at your place it's time to snooze My dear you look tired
you must take a snooze today I snoozed for half an hour
my friend talking about sleep in English is very easy you can try these word in
your daily life let's try to make some sentences in the comment section below
so next we are going to study English phrases to talk about sleep
the first one is heavy sleeper or you can say deep sleeper it means a person
who sleep deeply and it's difficult to wake that person the second English
phrase is a light sleeper it means a person who wakes up very easily when
they are sleeping let's see some daily sentences about
sleep so you can easily talk about sleep she's a heavy sleeper it's difficult to
wake her up all small babies are deep sleepers and I loved him my grandma is a
light sleeper even a slight noise wakes her up the next sleep phrase or sleep
idiom is a catnap it means a short Sleep or short nap and the second sleep
Idiom is disco nap it means a short sleep during the day before you go out
in the evening especially people use this idiom for a short sleep before
going to a party let's see daily sentences to talk about sleep sometimes
I take a cat nap after lunch so I feel refreshing in the evening there is a
small conversation between person a and person B where's your sister she is
taking a disco nap why she has a party at her friend's house at night
next we are going to study sleep expressions or you
can say sleep idioms hit the hay hit the bed hit the sack these three idioms
have a same meaning which is to go to sleep or to go to bed
so let's look some daily sentences about sleep I have a busy day tomorrow so
I must hit to sack early tonight it's midnight
don't you wanna hit the hay I'm tired I'm going to hit the bed goodnight so
this was your today's English lesson I hope it will help you to improve your
English speaking thank you so much for watching my video please subscribe my
channel for new English lesson if you like this video please give me thumbs up
you can share this video with your friends and thank you so much see you in
the next video
-------------------------------------------
[Adventure Time] Everything Stays Cover【Keeno】 - Duration: 0:49.
Let's go in the garden
You'll find something waiting
Right there where you left it
Lying upside down
When you finally find it
You'll see how it's faded
The underside is lighter
When you turn it around
Everything stays
Right where you left it
Everything stays
But it still changes
Ever so slightly
Daily and nightly
In little ways
When everything stays
Không có nhận xét nào:
Đăng nhận xét