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My name is Jennifer.
My name is Kim.
My name is Anastasia Litke.
My name is Ashley Allen.
My name is Jordan.
My name is Kimberly.
My name is Beth
and this is Anna she's my sister
my sister.
We had a miscarriage in December.
It was exactly at twelve weeks
and I ended up telling my whole family
at eleven and a half. So we had to break the news to everyone.
I've had three miscarriages
and one we
delivered a baby last October Baby Girl
Penelope.
I found out I miscarried at 16
weeks after I told work
and a lot of people.
And it was really difficult for me.
I woke up with a really bad pain
and I knew something was wrong.
And I went to the doctors
and found out that I was having an
early miscarriage.
I had a 20 week
a 20 week loss of twins
a boy and a girl.
Their names were Grace
and Savage.
We had been trying for a year
before I got pregnant the first time.
And ended up having
a miscarriage.
Six months later got pregnant again
miscarried again.
They kind of told me what was happening
and I went into a trauma room for
more privacy
and um
I lost the baby on the day
I was going to tell everyone
and it was like two weeks before Christmas.
He was deprived of oxygen
during the labor
and I had an emergency C-section
and they got him out really really quick.
But unfortunately it wasn't quick enough.
And so he had brain damage.
It's called H. I. E.
And um he ended
up with his organs shut down.
So we had eight hours
with him in the NICU before
he passed away.
We it was kind of like questions
like you're you're 30 you know you're
been married you know are you thinking
about having children
and we had other things in mind.
And it's like all of this pressure
and it's like that you know I
started feeling as if like I was invaluable
if I didn't have a child.
And so I think that going through this experience.
Kind of added to that a little bit
because afterwards, yeah,
you start thinking about your body
and you're like OK well this happened to me
is this going to happen to me again.
Am I going to be able to carry children.
Am I am I going to be able to
you know start a family
and you know
all of these things start going in your
mind and you start.
You know doubting yourself.
So yeah it was really tough.
The pain that you feel.
And the trauma really connects you to
other people
and you realize how much support
you have in life.
I found out I was pregnant
with this baby
in March
and I'm due November 21st
with another little girl.
So after my loss I had
a hard time
and I was afraid to get
pregnant again because I felt
that something was wrong since everything
had been going well.
I was kind of looking for answers so
I found a specialist at Yale
who did a
lot of bloodwork testing for my husband
and I that all came back fine
except I found out I have a blood clotting
disorder. So they thought
that the placenta clotted
with our last baby
and that's why we lost her.
So this
time around I'm on blood thinners
called Lovenox.
That I have to inject
once a day into myself
and everything's going well.
So I'm currently 36
weeks.
Diagnosed with unexplained infertility.
And did
eight months of
various treatments
and two rounds of IVF
So second round worked.
I swear these are happy tears now.
So yeah.
This baby,
this baby girl. She's due November
10th.
Coming up. Very exciting.
Good pregnancy so far.
So all good things.
So kind of fast forwarding
a little bit. The doctor said
that it was kind of a freak thing we
were healthy thank goodness that
another child it was
very unlikely that anything like that would
happen to us again.
So we got pregnant
on sometime in December.
We found out we were pregnant
with a baby.
And so she's a girl.
She's actually on
Wednesday. So in three
or four days but they'll let us get to
another week just as long as everything
looks healthy
and we're just really excited.
She might be dressed like a lumberjack
with a few bows
but we just can't wait to
meet her.
We're expecting
with my sister carrying our baby
girl
and her name
is going to be Charlotte Grace
after the last daughter
we lost.
And we had some difficulties
medically after the loss of our twins.
So I couldn't carry.
And my sister offered to carry for
us. So.
We're 22 weeks pregnant now.
And we're
really close as a family.
So we're sisters
and we actually married cousins.
So our families are really close
and we live right next to each other.
So we've been
throughout the process really close.
And we're super excited about our baby.
And she's doing February.
My biggest big advice if you have
anyone that has had a miscarriage
is to just ask them do you
want to talk about it.
I think that was the main
key thing that I needed cause myy
husband couldn't relate.
I really needed that mother figure
in my life to talk to me about it.
I ended up having my
husband's aunt.
Who is his godmother
who I'm super close with.
She has no kids.
She's fabulous
and
just rocking out
with life. She drinks a lot of wine
and she's just really
out there and outgoing.
And I ended up going to her house
drinking some champagne
and just crying my eyes out to her
for a couple of hours
and that was the only thing that.
Really.
That. Was it.
I got it out
and talked about it. We talked about it for hours.
She just sat there
and listened while I cried.
And was upset.
It was.
It was awesome.
That was what I needed.
Due December
6th and we're planning another
home birth. Everything is going fabulous.
I am
going to be thirty one weeks on Wednesday.
Pregnancy has gone wonderful.
I couldn't love
this pregnancy more.
When you feel the gratitude
of a successful pregnancy.
You just
you realize like
that nothing else really matters
and there's nothing really nothing to stress about.
Everything's going to be fine.
And I just feel super lucky
that you know I only had to deal
with that one miscarriage
and I feel super lucky that I was
easily able to become pregnant afterwards.
And I'm really excited
and you
know we get
to have her two little girls.
So that's really great.
I think
the meaning of our Rainbow Babies are really important.
It's not something I knew about
before I had a loss.
And it kind of helped me realize
that miscarriage is common.
And a lot of people don't talk
about it.
They never talked about it in the past
and now you know more
and more people are talking about it
and it does actually
it made me feel better to acknowledge
our loss than just kind
of stay quiet about it act like
it didn't happen.
Hopefully it just helps other women
because you really feel alone
in this.
But hopefully
through this we can kind of share our stories
and it's like you're not alone.
This does happen
and sometimes you know women they go
through it multiple times.
And so if we can help just one person feel
like they're not alone in this situation.
That would be
that would be wonderful.
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