Hi there, keto friends and family!
I'm Heather and this is What's Up Wednesday.
So, a few weeks ago, I wrote a blog post
about trying to control the
uncontrollable... especially when life
presents challenges like it often does.
Based on all of the responses I
got from you - many of you - I'm not the
only one that feels that way. So this
week I wanted to go a little bit deeper
into that subject and tackle the things
that happen to me when I'm faced with
fear and overwhelm. That usually
happens when I'm making significant
changes in my life. It's a normal
response. Growth is scary. It's sometimes
painful and that can trigger the fear
response, overwhelm, the desire to shut
down when that happens. The trick is
actually staying in that lane,
just pushing to get past that and the
other side is all the stuff that you
want, which are the changes to stick and
last. But what do you do when
you're faced with something like that?
Well, I can tell you just after the
last couple of weeks of having so many
things kind of come at me at once,
different challenges presenting
themselves, it's been definitely a time
of fast forward and growth for me. And my
old self wants to pop up. The
new self knows that it takes
shining the light into the fear
and actually recognizing it and working
through it - to grow through it, to
actually conquer it - but still my
initial response is to pretend
like it's not there. Pretend like the
fear and the overwhelm is not real. That
everything's fine. I put my "I'm fine" face
on. People, especially people close
to me, like my husband and my sister... I don't
have a great poker face so they can tell
that there's something wrong, when I'm
struggling, but it takes me
actually acknowledging that struggle
first to be able to then share it with
the people that are closest to me so
I can then get the support that I
might need. But
it's a lot harder to do then
just, you know, "I'll acknowledge the fear."
Well, sometimes we don't even know what
that fear is, we just feel it. I feel it.
For me, it always seems to manifest in my
stomach. It's a gut thing. Or my
chest. And during those times,
I'll pretend like it's not happening.
I'll push it down and the more I push
it down, the bigger it becomes. The
minute that I can stop that insanity and
stop the "I don't need
to be scared" and rationalizing the fear
away - but recognizing it and taking a
moment to acknowledge it and acknowledge
that I'm feeling scared or overwhelmed
or just out of sorts. It takes that
moment and that acknowledgement for me
to then be able to turn to my sister or
my husband or many of my tribe members
to say, "Hey, you know what? I'm feeling a
little out of sorts. I'm working
through some stuff. I don't necessarily
need anything from you but maybe some
extra support, maybe some extra love, some
atta-girls." Sometimes just "Hey,
I bought cookies for the boys. Can you go
throw them away? They haven't eaten them
and for whatever reason they might be
calling my name." It might be just as
simple as that. Luckily for me, most of
the time it doesn't have much to do with
food. It's more of the spiritual and
mental growth that I seem to really kind
of struggle with right now... or has been
presenting challenges for me, let's say.
Not struggle. It's really been
more of presenting challenges. The
struggle happens when I refuse to
recognize that there's something going
on. So the biggest thing for me is to let
you know that I start by recognizing it
myself first and then turning to people
in my life that I can share that with,
get some extra support, and that
love and recognition is sometimes all it
takes. It still might be a little bit
painful and a little bit scary to grow
through some of that stuff but at least
the people in my life recognize that in
me
they can see and they can help out where
they can, they can pitch in. Sometimes
it's just a hug and that's all I need.
But I know for me it's these big
lifestyle changes that trigger that
stuff and I know it's for my clients too.
I see it time and time again that
they'll commit to something,
like making the keto lifestyle a
permanent part of their life, and when
that happens they'll be like all
gung-ho, "This is it! I'm making these
changes!" and then when things start to
pop up, as resistance pops up, fear
of, "Oh, am I going to have to do this
forever?" and "What happens if it doesn't
work?" or "This is a lot harder than I
thought it was going to be." "Oh my god,
there's so many things I have to do! I'm
always having to shop. I'm having to prep.
I'm having to plan..." All of those things
can end up being paralyzing, especially
if we don't recognize that that's what's
going on. So the really important thing
for you to know is that by reaching out
to other people, pretty soon you'll see
that you have a whole tribe behind you.
You have at least one person in your
life that could be able to look at you
and recognize the struggle and somebody
that you could share that with. If you
don't, I am here, but my first
real point is to really get that
struggle out to the people closest
to you. Reach out to them first, then
start spreading the word to the
people around you, to build your tribe
around you, to say, "Hey, you know what? and
I need a little extra support right now."
Reach out to me... pretty soon
you'll find that there are a whole lot
more people in your corner than you
probably even know at any given moment.
There's probably people that are
cheering you on that recognize that
you might be struggling even long before
you even recognize that struggle in
yourself. So taking the time to reach out
to people after you've acknowledged the
fear or overwhelm in your life, as you
proceed to make these changes, is the
best way to shine the light into that
fear and overwhelm. The minute you
recognize that the fear and the
overwhelm, that light's been shined
on it, you can't hide from it anymore, you
can't pretend like it's going to go away.
Fear has a hard time living in the light
and that is what I really encourage you
to do is go ahead and shine that light on
the scary parts of yourself, share those
scary parts of yourself with other
people. The more that we share and the
more real we get with each other, the
happier we can be. I know if I'm walking
around with an "I'm fine" face on and
meanwhile, on the inside, I feel like I'm
hanging on by a string and might lose it
at any moment, I'm not doing my
family any favors. I'm definitely not
doing myself any favors. So this week
it's about building your tribe. Who are
the people closest to you that you can
reach out to and say you need a little
bit of help if you're making these
lifestyle changes. Whether it be
implementing the keto lifestyle, whether
it be spiritual, mental growth, physical...
like you're out there trying to work
out, making these workout changes...
whatever it is that you're working on,
you will come to a point where you hit
some resistance. And if you already know
who those people are in your tribe that
you're going to reach out to it'll make
this process so much easier. So, I'm here.
I'm part of the tribe. If you're
struggling with something right now, you
can reach out to me, you can email me, you
can message me, you can go on to
ItStartsWithTheFood.com... leave a
message on the blog post. You can always
email me at Heather@ItStartsWithTheFood.com
I'll be happy to respond to
you. I'm here. I'm part of your tribe but
my suggestion is to reach out to the people
closest to you first and then I'll be
happy to support you in any way I can.
Until next Wednesday, I hope that light's
been shone into the darkest parts and
you're feeling a little bit freer and
ready to go to the next phase of growth.
Talk to you next Wednesday. Take care!
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