(Metroid Music)
What am I? A comet?
(Metroid Music)
Oooh...
(Metroid Music)
I'm a goat
Okay, now..
I can already tell this is gonna be a really good game.
Look at this dumb motherfucker.
Got stuck on a rock!
You fucking asshole!
Aw shit...
No wai-
(BA'S TO THE KATAMARI DAMACY THEME)
SHEEP
BA BA BA
Oh, hi Tiger!
Would you like to join us?
(ROAR)
RUN
(sheep flip away)
This game, "ROCKS".
He he....
What is this?
"I find it a little difficult to say what the"
DUNKEY: Aww fuck. "subject matter"
"of the Seminar is going to be."
DUNKEY: Is this from the makers of Fur Fun?
"Because it's too fundamental to give it a title."
DUNKEY: -he fuck up. "The fundamental notions"
DUNKEY: Shut the fuck up. "about what life is about."
(blissful silence)
Is it over?
"Ideas-"
DUNKEY: You fucking piece of shh..... "Of the world"
God....DAMMIT. "Which are built into the very"
"Nature of the lan-"
"-but to use the word 'myth' in a more powerful sense."
How come it's always snowing in this game, man?
I can fix this.
Here we go.
(driving noises)
Alright, that should be better.
That's a good spot.
I think I fucked something up.
DAT! Ooh!
What's that? What's that?
(gasp of regret)
Oh no...
No!
"You..."
"as a human being."
NO!
"You grow out of"
DUNKEY: Nononononono "this physical universe"
"In just exa-"
Finally.
Play AS
a wooden fence.
He he!
It's about TIME they let you play as a fence in a-
Look at these pigs.
Hey, pigs!
You ain't goin'....
NOWHERE!
Heh heh...
You can play as grass.
(MUSIC) What the fuck did I do now?
(MUSIC) What is this?
(MUSIC) Wha-
Wait a minute...
I think I get the game now, guys!
Yeah! Okay.
Now it's makin-
This game is like Christmas at Jackie Chan's house.
Hehehe, thanks, Richard!
Our next game is called, "Snake P-"
(terrible mic) ASS!
KISS
MY SNAKE
ASS!
Just an adorable little game.
Woahwoahwoahwoah
WOAH
WOAH
WOAH
No!
ERRRRRNNAGTAT
EGGHHHEHEHGGGHGEHGHEHEH
AHCK
I CAN MAKE IT.
AGAAH
GONNA WIN.
YES!
Yea-
-hoo! I'm winning aga-
Ehhhh ha ha haha
Ha ha!
Fuck you, too, snake-
You fucking pasta-looking, motherfucker.
Get up there, you...
GET ON GETONTHERE
THERE YOU GO
There yo-
I'm doin' it!
I'm doin'-
DEHT
You've gotta be FUCKing
you fucking piece of ORANGE shit!
Going up!
Wheeeeeeee
Awww
C'moooon
Here we-. You just gotta wrap-
You just gotta wrap around.
Yeah yeah!
There we go!
Now, it's workin'.
This is the most deceptive game I've ever played.
You got this fun music,
You got the colorful, you know,
Cute, little snake
Bu-
It's-it's-it's-it's-
It's so
FUCKing evil.
This is the most evil gam-
This is so!
ffffFUCKING
IMPOSSIBLE
Man! C'mo-
C'mon!
C'mon, little guy!
Ah hahahaha!
Whooo!
You are the shittiest snake in the animal kingdom.
C'mon! Just climb up-
YOU
Ah
How?
How are you not extinct?
Yes. Yes!
You could do it!
You can do it!
Just...
I did it.
Why is there no checkpoint up here?
Are you fucking kidding m-
Don't worry!
Noodle can't drown!
But, he CAN be impaled by spikes!
All the way back to the start of the game for you!
You fucking dumbass, snake.
How could this get anymore fucked up?
Honestly.
EVERYTHING NARRATOR: "Now. The first thing, though. Uh.."
DUNKEY: NO! "That we have to do."
WHAT?!
"Is..."
Deformers.
This game cost $30.
What? Are you serious with this?
Looks like a fucking idiot!
There we go.
Now he's fixed.
(BA'S AND PUMPS AT THE SAME TIME)
HM?! (curious grunts)
(curious grunts)
DADADADADA
(more grunts)
Bwaaaaa
AULGH
Next game.
JESSIE: Aw, that's OP.
DUNKEY: See ya.
JESSIE: Uhp. See ya. DUNKEY: Bye-bye!
C'mon
What?!
The fuck? What are you, Sub-Zero now?
Get ou-
DUNKEY: Oh my god. JESSIE: (laughs)
Such fucking stupi-
DUNKEY: You piece of shit! JESSIE: (laughs)
DUNKEY: Fuck you! JESSIE: (laughs)
DUNKEY: what? JESSIE: WHAT THE FUCK?!
(Dunkey laughing)
DUNKEY: (laughing) JESSIE: What was that shit?!
It's called "winning the game".
Maybe you've heard of it.
DUNKEY: My guy is Donkey Kong, now! JESSIE: (panics)
Yah! Ha ha ha!
No. Wait. No, save me! Save me!
This is the worst recovery! Save me!
No!
DUNKEY: What are you doing?! JESSIE: NOOO!
(Dunkey laughs more)
DUNKEY: Fuck you.
ack
(gasp)
I could come back!
I'm back!
I'm back in the-
*ded*
Pick my guy?
Get outta here.
You SICKEN me.
You know what? No.
I'm com-
What?
DUNKEY: (laughing) JESSIE: (laughing)
DUNKEY: C'mon! Keep going!
We can make it!
JESSIE: My finger!
Keep going!
We can beat the game!
DUNKEY: Don't.
DUNKEY: Don't!
DUNKEY: Fuck.
DUNKEY: Bye-bye.
Froggy punch!
Yah!
Grow up.
You know what?
Fuck you.
(laughing)
Go up.
Go.
DUNKEY: Go. JESSIE: Alright...
DUNKEY: Go.
DUNKEY: Go up.
DUNKEY: Go. JESSIE: Okay.
DUNKEY: Go up.
DUNKEY: Go. JESSIE: Alright...
DUNKEY: Go.
DUNKEY: Go up.
DUNKEY: Go up. JESSIE: Alrighty...
DUNKEY: Go.
DUNKEY: Up. JESSIE: Thank you!
DUNKEY: Go up. JESSIE: Thank you!
JESSIE: Yes!
DUNKEY: Go. Go. Go. JESSIE: I love this game!
DUNKEY: Go up. JESSIE: YES!
DUNKEY: Go.
DUNKEY: Go up.
JESSIE: STOP!
DUNKEY: Go up.
DUNKEY: Go.
DUNKEY: Go up. JESSIE: I want to!
DUNKEY: No.
DUNKEY: Bad.
DUNKEY: No.
DUNKEY: No!
AAAAH! Save me!
Save me!
Oh! Woah!
Huh?
What?
DUNKEY: What? No! Huh? JESSIE: What?
DUNKEY: I'm alive? JESSIE: NO!
Buh-
DUNKEY: I'm back! JESSIE: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
JESSIE: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
DUNKEY: What are you doing?
(DUNKEY laughing)
JESSIE: I never want to see you again! DUNKEY: Get over here!
DUNKEY: Sumo slam!
DUNKEY: What the fuck?
Why does that kill me?
Aww shit.
Now, look who wants to play...
SKY: Well, I mean I'm gonna
SKY: I'm gonna shit on all of you in this game I've never played
SKY: Aaaaand
SKY: It's just, y'know, gonna be hilarious.
DUNKEY: You got this. You got this.
DUNKEY: Ooh. Watch out for this.
DUNKEY: Ooh! Watch out.
DUNKEY: Oooh! Don't wanna get hit by that.
DUNKEY: Ooooh. Definitely, don't want to get hit. SKY: Oh my god!
SKY: STOP!
SKY: Jason!
DUNKEY: You got this!
SKY: Fuck!
DUNKEY: (laughing) SKY: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
You know?
DUNKEY: That kinda reminds me of the time SKY: Oh my... oh.
DUNKEY: I beat Sky in that other game.
DUNKEY: That's pretty much the same game as this.
DUNKEY: I forget what it's called, though.
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