Lately I get annoyed when I go to the movies.
All sorts of weird people are there. I really hate latecomers.
Because when I'm watching and someone comes in late, they block the screen.
Because the cinema staff, the ladies...
They bring flashlights with them like ghostbusters.
And the latecomers at the back are carrying torches.
So annoying.
I hate people who watch and don't follow the rules.
I was watching at Bintaro Plaza.
I sat down. Suddenly my chair started moving.
The jackass behind me...
...he put his leg right here. What am I supposed to do?
I could only do that.
When I was gonna drink, I put the bottle beside me, right.
I was wondering, where is my bottle?
Did I drop it somewhere? I tried to find it.
Suddenly I got a hold of some small bottle.
What is this?
Turns out this person stuck his toe right there in the middle!
I was holding his thumb!
Should I just bring it to my mouth?!
Then he gets angry "The hell are you doing?"
"The hell are YOU doing?!"
"The hell are you doing."
As if I fondled with his foot on purpose.
When in fact HE put his foot there!
When watching "Pengabdi Setan" (Devil Worshipper)
If you watch these kind of movies with a bunch of highschool teenagers, it would be no fun.
They are all so tacky and noisy.
I sat down right here, then beside me were seven high schoolers.
They brought blankets.
For them to hide behind together.
So I was calm, watching.
If they kept quiet it would be fine. If they shouted a bit, fine.
But it was one guy and six girls.
And usually if girls bring a guy with them...
...the guy is usually a sissy, right.
He was like "Oh, I'm afraid!"
It was just the opening!
It just showed the credits but he was like "I'm afraid!"
"What the hell?"
I would rather suck a toe!
Then it was quiet.
What's annoying is that this jerk...
...the guy with six girls as his friends..
When the ghost is about to appear...
In the movie, Joko did great at suspense, right.
The camera following and everything.
He was shouting "Get ready!"
"The hell?!?!"
"Get ready! Get ready!"
"What the hell?!"
He was telling his friends to get ready!
It's like... getting on a roller coaster.
"Get ready!"
It makes me tense and wanna hold his hand too!
"I am with you!"
"Save me from this movie..."
"Dear kind sissy..."
And it's not only in scary ghost movies.
Action movies too. The Avengers. Last time I watched, a man was beside me.
He was talking to the screen!
When Iron Man showed up, he went "Iron Man, look out!"
He probably thought it was a video call.
"Iron Man, look out!"
"Iron Man could not hear you, Sir!"
"He is peacefully on the screen."
"I am annoyed."
"Sir, please suck on this toe."
It's crazy.
Crazy.
Not only in movie theaters, other places too.
I dislike watching on Sundays because a lot of families bring their children.
And the men, the fathers.
They are the most disliked human type in the toilet.
Because... here's a little secret.
Men who have reached a certain age...
The flow when they pee isn't as strong as when they were young.
So when older men pee, they have to unzip pretty far down.
I was at the Gandaria City theaters when I entered the toilet, headed right...
...there was this one man.
His pants were down to here.
Like this, then he was holding onto the wall.
"Let me help you, Sir."
Not only men who pee alone.
The men who accompany their son poop.
They shock the hell out of you.
Shocking because...
When a child is accompanied by his father...
...the toilet is small, right?
So they open the door, the dad is beside the son, and the son is like this.
So when I walk it's like...
"Papa! Papa!"
Food.
Food and beverages at the cinemas are so expensive.
And we can't even bring our own food and drinks.
The security guards check you.
They check your bags, not to find a bomb...
...but to see if you have snacks with you.
They open it.
It's fine if they won't let us bring food...
...but at least give a reasonable price.
The normal mineral water costs 4 times more than when you buy it at some place else.
What's in it, Reza Rahadian's tears?
Like... what's so special?
For the ladies...
You can see a guy's true intentions...
...from the moment he asks you out to a movie.
If he takes you to the movies...
...and he chooses seats A1 and A2
He most certainly has bad intentions.
Because he wants to kiss you.
Especially if the movie is boring.
In my opinion... only the guys..
The guys who are...
Only brave guys can kiss in the movies.
I don't understand how you do it.
You sit in seats A1 and A2, then the movie starts.
Like...
He starts looking around.
How do you initiate it?!
How do you do that?
Have you ever wondered? I wonder.
I think only weird people who...
...who want to kiss in the movie theaters.
I'll wrap this up with the weirdest thing in the movies.
The weirdest thing in movie theaters is...
...the voice of the lady who announce the theaters have opened.
It's always there, right?
Wait is that the sound of a train coming?
How does it sound like?
Well, yeah whatever.
Theater 1 is now open.
Those of you who have purchased tickets can blablabla, whatever, I don't know.
It's a waste of time because I think theaters aren't that big.
If I sit in the lobby, I can see the doors being opened.
It doesn't give me any additional information.
If you want to...
Announce something informative.
For example.
The doors to theater 1 is hard to open.
To those of you who own crowbars, please approach our staff.
Không có nhận xét nào:
Đăng nhận xét