Hello, hello, it is the morning after I recorded my "in bed" vlog.
I'm feeling a little better today but, eh, still low energy, so I'm not sure if I'm gonna
get to do a sit-down vlog later.
Maybe.
We'll see.
Ha!
EDS is fluid and unpredictable as heck.
Um, ha!
At this point of the day....
I thought I was doing such a good job.
I had finished cutting my video, I, um, had rendered it overnight, I was uploading it
the moment I woke up and I was like, "Yes!
Success!
I will have the video up by like 2pm, like, captioned and everything."
And uh...
I just checked it and it's out of sync, the sound, the audio is out of sync so...
It's worthless!
I had like everything done!
I'm so mad!
[Sigh] So I hadn't eaten yet, so I'm making these Quorn veggie chicken because I was in
the mood for Chicken Kitchen but I'm poor so...
I'm gonna try and do a DIY Chicken Kitchen right now.
Um...
I'm so upset!
That I have to like re-do that whole video.
[Sings] Um....
Brain fog is interrupting me... now...
[Exhales]
Alright, so, I'm gonna eat, I'm gonna try to make myself food, um...
Oh!
You see this situation here, yeah, I can't stand for long periods, I got a stool at the
stove!
Tsk tsk!
See?
Okay, I'll check in later when I'm done.
Oh and I wanted to share another little hack, um...
There is my stool for when I'm using the stove, um...
Also, a "spoon" saver is at the beginning of the week, we cook a big pot of rice and
we use our "spoons" to put like a cup of rice in a ziplock bag.
I wish there was a more environmentally friendly way to do that...
Maybe...
I'll think about that, there should be a way...
But um, then we just literally take the rice, throw it in the microwave for 2 minutes.
So good!
So easy!
Alright, nailed it, I think!
It looks like chicken, tomatoes, and rice!
Now just needs sauce.
Okay, gonna mix some Peruvian mayonnaise with mustard and see if that makes something remotely
resembling mustard curry.
We decorated the living room, look at that, and I pretty much, almost all by myself decorated
this tree.
Pretty proud of myself, this is the first time that I took control of the tree.
The lights are not my idea.
Actually, they're not supposed to be doing that, they're supposed to be staying on the gold!
What the heck.
[Sigh] It's cute anyway.
Most of the time decorating, I was sitting here and decorating the stuff down here.
And then I pushed my fainting limits by like reaching up and doing this stuff.
That's such a weird thing to like, explain, that like, just standing up, just standing
up and reaching my arms up causes me to faint.
[Groans] It is currently 2:26pm, I wake up late, I think I woke up like at 11.
Wait, no!
Actually, I woke up at 8am and that's when I found out that the rendering had failed so
I restarted the rendering process, went back to sleep and woke up again at...
[Someone's flip flops walking in the hall]
EDDIE (in the background): Emily! ANNIE: 9?
EDDIE: Go ahead and eat, I'm done. It's all clean. ANNIE: And there's people in the house now.
Yeah, I woke up again at 9 and the rendering was complete so then I started uploading it
to YouTube and then I started writing my friggin description essay for the video, uh...
Finding links to people because the video is actually kind of, it's about my insecurities
with something...
And this will come out the day after so if I succeed at uploading it, you will have known
what the video was about.
[Deep inhale]
Um...
[Slaps arm]
And I was about to start captioning the video when I thought it was just that my computer
was lagging...
which happens sometimes.
[Sniffs]
Uh...
So I was like, "But the audio sounds fine so I'll just cut it and I'll upload it to
YouTube, then it'll be at normal speed and then I can caption it."
But I was wrong.
It just is truly out of sync.
[Sigh] So here I am at 2:30pm, super exhausted and I can't find the reason that 's out of
sync.
So I don't know what to do.
I just posted on Twitter if I should just....
Like, black out the visuals and um...
...just let the audio play like a podcast?
[Sniffs]
It-it feels a little silly but also like...
I don't want to miss a day of Vlogmas!
Maaaaan!!
[Whines]
Oh, also, I don't wanna re-record that video!
Uh, I thought-- I recorded the video in bed, and I thought that actually, I was like,
"This is the perfect time to talk about this topic", and um, in the middle of a pain flare, uh, I was like,
"You know what?
This is so appropriate both because it's on International Day of People with Disabilities
and because I'm in the middle of a pain flare.
This is the right time to talk about this because I'm in the middle of my feelings."
Um, I don't wanna re-record that so..
It's like this or it's not happening at all.
Ha!
It's been all day.
It's night time now.
Um... and...
The video is still not up!
[Laughs]
This is the day everything went wrong.... in regards to Vlogmas.
Ummm...
So...
The old version that is out of sync, I'm working on the captions right now with my bed desk.
Praise.
Get a good look at that.
You haven't seen my bed desk in a while.
It's here!
And it's how I get my work done when my back is in incredible amounts of pain.
[Unenthusiastically] Yayyyy!
[giggles]
Um...
My glasses are how I can avoid migraines while trying to read.
Um...
Yeah, so that's what I'm doing right now, uh, I edited a whole new one that is not out
of sync and uh, while that renders in Premiere Pro.
I'm gonna just caption the old video and then take that file and put it on the new video
and hope that I didn't accidentally cut something out that I didn't cut originally... or blah
blegh le le la.
So... that's what I'm doing right now!
[Laughs]
[Soft electric guitar music]
Retrograde, thou art a cruel cruel mistress...
What... the fuck.
Ugh, it is currently 10pm exactly.
I've been at this all day.
The export failed and it's starting all the way over.
Right now it says another hour and 45 minutes and if it fails again...
I genuinely might frickin cry.
Well...
Since I already captioned the whole video with the um...
The one I originally uploaded that is not in sync..
And... unph!
I should've been uploading this one now but I'm not and apparently have to wait another
2 hours or so to do that.
I guess what I'm gonna do with my time is to take a bath and watch other people's vlogmas
videos.
[Tub starting noises]
Okay, I just came out of the bath so uh...
Just so you know, right after bath time comes your regularly scheduled possibly fucking
passing out.
[Labored deep breathing] Because of frickin POTS.
It's literally routine.
Take a hot bath, make your muscles feel a little bit better, [breath] get out of the bath,
stand up from the bath, [whispers] because it's going from laying down on the floor to standing...
Postural...
Tachycardia...
Get it?
Your body moves, your blood moves too fast, sends the signals to your heart, and your
heart beats WAY too fast.
[Deep breath]
Possibly faint.
[Laughs]
Ha, it did again.
And I didn't cry.
I'm not gonna cry.
My face feels really hot.
I wear a nightcap because otherwise my hair will be the shape of a mushroom in the morning.
[Deep breath]
Ugh.
I'm still trying again.
So I was trying to export it and it seems that it wasn't done rendering prior to export
so I'm trying to render it again and it says it'll be like 35 minutes.
It is now 11:37, so technically, Retrograde did manage to sabotage Vlogmas a little bit.
Maybe I'm speaking too soon, maybe completely.
Maybe this video will never freaking export and it will never see the light of day.
Uegghhhh....
I really wanted to do this...
[Click tongue]
Nice and tidy.
But the video will be late.
Unfortunately.
And we just have to deal.
This is not a lesson, I needed to learn, Retrograde.
I have been learning to deal with shit my whole life.
This was just really rude.
This was not a lesson I needed to learn.
In case I don't check back in, I'm gonna continue trying to upload this and oh my gosh,
I don't know what's gonna happen now.
Like, I think, as soon as it exports, I'm gonna try uploading it to YouTube and while
that's uploading.
I'm gonna start editing this.
Um...
I'm a little scared that this'll be a all night project but I might fall asleep in the
middle of it.
Who knows?
Um...
And I'm supposed to get up early tomorrow at 7 because my sister has Christmas errands
she wants to do and it's our one day of the week to get out of the house, um, so we want
to take advantage of that and take a look at some Art Basel stuff while it's not crowded
in the morning.
Um.. ya know, so it's like accessible to us.
Uh, frick.
So...
[Whines]
Maybe the lesson that I just had to [groan] re-take, re-learn is a lesson for you.
You can't always get what you want.
Um...
Sometimes you don't get what you want and you just have to deal with it.
But... it doesn't mean that everything sucks...
And...
[Sigh]
You can also still do it your own way.
It doesn't have to be everybody else' way.
I'm gonna be late.
I might miss days.
I don't know.
I don't know what's gonna happen now.
Not everything's out of whack.
I felt so-- [sigh] I felt so accomplished and ready!
I felt so ready to just like do one video per day and now it's messed up.
But I'm not gonna quit just because I messed up.
I'm gonna keep doing what I can.
I already learned that lesson but if that was a lesson that you needed....
I was the sacrifice.
I hope you learned it from me and you don't have to learn it the hard way.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Bye.
[outro music]
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