Hey! Pres! Finally, I have been starting to get like really, real...
PRESLEY: There's no time for small talk, William, ok?
Sesh is going to be here in the next 20 minutes and you and I--
PRESLEY: Oh! Ha! Hey! Cool wolf shirt buddies! WILLIAM: Aw yeah! Cool wolf shirt buddies!
PRESLEY: Yeah, it's amazing there's this many wolf-pizza shirts in the world, isn't it?
WILLIAM: That's like three now!
PRESLEY: Yeah--Next 20 minutes and we need to get this place ready before she gets here.
I'm talking nuclear fallout shelter ready.
PRESLEY: Alright? WILLIAM: Okaaay, um...
WILLIAM: Why is Sesh suddenly radioactive?
PRESLEY: Oh. Oh I wish. A radioactive werewolf would be so much easier to deal with than Sesh with the flu.
WILLIAM: Yeah, that sucks. Flu season's wiped out a couple of the dudes at work so far.
PRESLEY: This isn't just any old flu, Serena Williams!
This is an Alexandra Waters strain of influenza. The Big Ka-Flu-na.
Take your regular man-flu and multiply it by 361%!
WILLIAM: That is an awfully specific percentage.
PRESLEY: Oh, oh it's accurate! Believe me, I've done my research!
*Manic huff*
Sesh has the capability to incubate an ordinary, run-of-the-mill virus and spit it back out at the nearest person 20 times stronger!
*double huff*
I've been infected by Typhoid Sesh. I will not be ensnared again.
WILLIAM: Mm.
Yeah, see when I first came to the bunker I thought you were just acting a certain way because I was new and you weren't sure if you could trust me
but you are just like /always/ this melodramatic, aren't you?
PRESLEY: *frightening giggles* WILLIAM: Like all the time?
PRESLEY: My sweet, sweet Summer child!
You have no idea the storm you are about to face!
I was there for the ear infection of '07!
*Distance horrific coughing*
SESH: I'm here!
SESH: *wheezing and coughing*
WILLIAM: Hey, Sesh... You, you're-- you're lookin'...
PRESLEY: Like a shambling corpse that's fallen face first into a pile of mucus?
WILLIAM: Under the weather.
SESH: You know what I love about you, Presley Clementine Jones?
The fact that you are so warm and welcoming to your friends in their hour of need.
While I'm sick as a dog!
*Laughter turns to painful coughs*
WILLIAM: You-- You alright there, Sesh?
SESH: I'm fiiiiine!
I mean... My head feels like wild stallions are galloping through it...
My throat feels like I have been practicing sword swallowing...
*Laughs*
And my nose has... been...
Snotty.
SESH: I'm too sick I can't think of a simile for my snotty nose! WILLIAM: Yeah, no, it's all good, we didn't want you to. Um...
*Nose blowing sounds*
WILLIAM: I'm going to make you the stereotypical tea-and-honey combo,
WILLIAM: You can come lay down on the lounge. SESH: *Grateful mouth breathing*
PRESLEY: Woah, no, no! Not the couch! This is an everybody couch!
If she gets her germs on it, it's gonna be ruined forever!
Look, just-- just... Stand over there and don't /touch/ anything for two minutes
and pretty soon I'll have a nice Sesh friendly corner that you can infect all you want!
WILLIAM: We are not making her sleep in the corner like a dog! SESH: You know, this is so typical of you.
WILLIAM: At least not while she's n-not a dog... SESH: First you refuse to drive in the car with me
SESH: because of your paranoid germaphobia, and now PRESLEY: "Paranoid"?
SESH: You're quarantining me while I'm already in quarantine! Why are you always so melodramatic?
WILLIAM: HA!
WILLIAM: I was just saying that earlier.
SESH: *Heavy blocked-nose breathing*
PRESLEY: So this is what it's gonna be like then, is it?
Now that there's three of us in this little circus again, we're gonna play the "two on one" game. Fine!
That's. Just. Fine.
Enjoy the couch, Sesh! Get your plague fingers aaaall over it.
But I'm not gonna catch this bug, you hear me? Not. This. Time.
PRESLEY: And as for you, Tennessee Williams... WILLIAM: Why is it so hard for you to say my name?
PRESLEY: I only have one thing to say to you.
You were warned.
WILLIAM: Pres, do you remember the um, the old booing woman out of the... You know, the creepy one from The Princess Bride?
PRESLEY: Yeah, 'course, why?
WILLIAM: No reason. Sesh, take the couch.
*More greatful mouth breathing*
*Spooky Groove Theme Music*
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