Are you okay?
Actually..
..I was thinking..
..since we are going to seal our match now..
..we should have no secrets between us.
Three men came into my room last night.
- What? - And then..
..they bound me to the bed with rope.
Huh?
After that they started taking off my clothes.
What..? What are you..?
- What happened next? - And then one after another..
My God!
That's shocking. I mean..
You know what's shocking?
That I was enjoying it.
Huh?
- And then I woke up. - Oh!
It was a dream. A nightmare.
Sorry. Thank God. I mean..
Why don't you tell me something?
A dream?
Something personal.
Personal? I don't know. I mean I don't know.
- I don't remember dreams. - Try.
I haven't got anything right now. Not right now.
-Brother Joy! Make - up touch up please. Where are you?
- Yes. Come here. - Come on. Artists! Artists!
Get into position.
Yeah. I'm trying, you know. I'm going to try something small.
Just one sec.
I'm going to try a small improvisation now in the scene.
You didn't want to try anything before.
How are we going to create chemistry in this film?
We're married to each other.
I'll do it in the scene. It's a small..
You'll do everything in the scene.
I'll try it. I mean just go with it. Whatever..
You're incorrigible!
- Imagination.. - Slate in!
Naxalite love story. Scene 13 Howrah. Take one.
Silence, brother!
And action!
Father.
This marriage cannot take place.
His older sister is a naxal.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes, my older sister is a naxal.
So what if is a naxal? I am not ashamed of it.
You think that I..
You are exposed.
No Shormalata. I am free today.
- Today.. Today in front of you.. - You are naked.
Yes, I am emotionally naked.
Physically too.
Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut!
Yes. Your dong and nuts were telecast live.
It was visible to all.
How did it come off, Roshan? Dada had fastened it with a safety pin.
I borrowed it before the shot. Didn't I tell you?
You never tell me anything. How could you forget?
- Yeah, but I tweeted you. - You tweeted?
I was standing right next to you. What tweet?
Use your mouth next time.
Mouth?
Looks like the app is not on the iphone.
Listen. Listen, this production is completely useless.
You're my manager. Do something.
You gotta.. You got to get me some bigger films.
That is Konkona's van, sir.
I've done blockbusters, okay.
I've done 'Yeh Jawani Hai Diwani.'
- 'Delhi Belly.' - 'Action Jackson.'
And this is the best offer we had?
This is the only offer we had, sir.
So how do we change that? How do we change it?
Even that is Konkona's van, sir.
They've given her two vans?
- And they've given me just one? - No. No.
- Sir, you need to work it. - What.. What work it?
What work it? What work haven't I done?
You told me to go and have liposuction for that Adnan Sami biopic.
After they sucked out 15 kilos of fat..
..you're telling me, "Oh, they wanted to do the early years."
Now that bloody Tanmay Bhatt is doing it.
What did I get out of all of this?
What is this? Where is the van?
Sir, this is it.
The only place you get 3G. Amazing, isn't it?
- Rytasha. - Yeah.
You did not negotiate a van?
- Hi. - I did, sir.
They said no, sir. Didn't I tell you?
You never tell me anything.
Okay, sir. This is what I meant.
What is this?
AK treats Govinda to Lord Krishna's birthday party.
I don't do this kind of stuff. I'm not..
AK is also my client.
What do you think this is?
- This is a rubbish article and.. - It's not rubbish.
It's like an ad. Sir, this page costs two crores to advertise in..
..but if you do one event then you're in it for free.
- But will it get me bigger films? - You want a Lamborghini?
- You gotta work, b***h. You want a hot body? - I want fans.
- You gotta work for it. - I want fans.
- Kunaal. - Dada. Hi.
Hi. Hi.
- You know I like your work. - Thanks, Dada.
- Thank you. - But..
..the incident that took place on the set today..
..it was like really traumatic.
I know. I know.
I mean I'm.. Took me some time but I'm feeling a lot better.
Not you. It was traumatic for everybody else.
Tilottama is refusing to work with you now.
What?
O my God!
O God! So do you have any options to replace?
For her?
Dada, you are going to.. From the film..
But just now you said I'm a good actor. You said you like my work.
One has to say that.
One has to say that.
Tilottama is a star..
- ..which is, you know.. - But, Dada. It was a mistake.
What mistake? Didn't you tell her before the take..
..that you're going to try something? Didn't you say you'd try?
But what am I going to try?
You think I'm going to try something with that bloody Tilottama?
What's wrong with Tilottama?
- What's wrong? - No. Nothing.. Nothing's wrong.
I mean she's nice. She's attractive. I mean I can see..
- What can you see? - I would see..
- Dada, you.. Maybe there's.. - Huh?
I don't know maybe you wanna..
- Why did you go there? - What I'm saying is when I said try..
When I said try I was talking about raising my performance.
I was not talking about dropping my pants.
Your pants dropped and your dong and nuts were visible to all.
My dong and nuts were showing because you told me not wear boxers.
You told me not to wear anything. I want that backlight.
- That bullshit blue Bhansali.. - Hey!
I didn't say Bhansali.
Yes. I didn't say Bhansali.
That East European film. I'll tell you.
- Which film? - I'll just tell you.
Anyway, you are out.
Hey. Tilottama.
We have a shot.
"He doesn't look forward."
"He doesn't look behind."
"He doesn't look forward."
"He doesn't look behind."
"He teases me."
"He upsets me."
"My darling."
"Naughty darling."
"Naughty darling."
"Naughty darling."
"Naughty darling."
"Naughty darling."
"Naughty darling."
"My naughty darling."
"Naughty darling."
"Naughty darling."
"Naughty darling."
"My naughty darling."
- What the hell? - Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
- Who is it? - Sorry. Really sorry.
A**hole.
- And back... - What are you doing on the floor?
Nothing.
- Hi, Kunaal. - Hi.
- How are you? - Good. Good.
I was just, you know,
- trying to get in character. - Yeah.
That's the first time that I'm actually playing..
- Beggar? - No.
- Naxal. - Oh!
Yeah, just..
- I mean, there's no.. - Yeah.
One sec.
- So? - Yeah.
You didn't get a van? Again?
No, no. I was also trying to get into character, you know?
- I got two. - Oh!
- One for each National award. - Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I'm just joking. I mean.. ..not about the National awards..
..because I did get those.
I know. You've told me. You've told me.
- 95 and 97. - Ages ago.
Anyways, so what have you been up to?
No, actually, you know, Koko..
..I haven't told anyone but that dimwit, he fired me.
Fab! Fab! Fab! I'm also doing super.
Super. You know, good you're here..
..because actually I wanted to show you this video I made.
For my younger fans, you know.
No, I mean, is something..?
Is the internet open today?
- Huh? - Because, it's Sunday..
Today no so..
- So?
Well, I was online last week and mom was saying that..
..they've started closing the internet on Sundays because of..
- ..financial crisis. - Yes. Yes.
- Some China thing. - Yes.
And I get confused because is it Sunday America time..
..or is it Sunday India time? You know it's..
No, my internet is working, I think.
- Yeah? - It's on.
Just check, because I wanna show you something.
Hang on. Oh! Small screen.
- I'm making it bigger. - Yeah.
Because.. See? Yeah.
- I think that's the one. Yeah. - Touch this. Yeah.
My throat. My lips. My voice.
To sing the songs I like..
..even if I don't know the words.
My voice. To shout.
They can't control my volume and they never will.
My voice. You can never capture an echo in the palm of your hand.
You can never hear a laugh in footprints of sand.
Your voice is caged. Set it free.
My voice is not.
Sa Re Ga Ma. My voice.
Do Re Me Fa. My voice.
Amount of time. Amount of tune. My voice.
- Yeah. - Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Say. Say.
It's a tribute.
Tribute? Why? To whom?
To Deepi...
Deepi?
- The people. The people. - People.
- The people without a voice. - Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
No, but you know I think there's been some problem with this.
See? Because it's just been stuck on..
It's stuck on 31 views since yesterday.
But how is it possible? It's got 3000 dislikes.
- What?! - Yeah.
- No. No. No. No. No. - 3000 dislikes. - No. No. There must be.. I think..
There's a mistake. I think even your..
- Your internet is not working today. - Yeah.
- Sunday. - Internet is broken.
Oh! Hang on. Just getting a..
Oh! It's an international call. Hang on one second. Just one sec.
- Hello. - Just..
Hello. Yeah.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
Yes
You brought this food for Bebo?
Answer me! You brought this food for Bebo?
Do you have sawdust in place of brains?
Salad comes only from the Marriot for Bebo. Get that?
And all the veggies should be fresh and green. Or I will..!
She has to maintain her size zero.
And that scene of her sitting on the floor.
Only fuller's earth should be applied on the floor. Get it?
Bebo's delicate skin.
Hmmm.
Come on. Don't move your head. Move your legs. Fast. Fast.
All of them are asses. Dimwits!
Even Bebo is in this film.
Rytasha doesn't tell me anything.
"Earning fifty paisa and spending one rupees."
Here you go.
Are you gonna pay for it?
Hi. Where is Rumi?
I've been trying to call you. I've messaged you.
- Why don't you answer? - Yes, I wasn't paying attention.
Not in the mood today.
Why? Because they removed you from the film?
How do you know?
Rytasha tweeted.
Damn! Does Rumi also know about it?
She showed me the tweet.
What is this?
He is a ten year old child.
I mean he shouldn't have a phone or a social media account.
What kind of a mother are you?
Sure. His ideal father is getting naked in front of the world..
..and you are judging me.
At least change your address. Am I your postbox?
Did Rytasha tweet about me getting naked too?
And Rumi knows that too?
Rumi doesn't want to meet you today, okay?
But why? It was an accident. I didn't purposely get naked.
It was not a plan.
I know that.
You can neither plan nor execute..
..but you can't explain that to a ten year old, can you?
But I was going to take him to Taimur's birthday party.
It would be so nice for him to mingle with the star kids.
You want to mingle with the stars?
So what's wrong with networking?
One photograph with Bebo and Taimur..
..little bit of press and my career will be back on track.
You want a Lamborghini, you gotta work..
Babe.
What? Why are you looking at me like that?
I am wondering how come I ever married you.
- Oh, damn! - What happened?
Not again.
- What is that? - No. No. Nothing.
- Show me. Show me. - No. No.
- Show me. - It's my mail. Why are you..?
Sari..
Sister ******.
What the hell is this, Kunaal?
What does this eviction mean?
Meaning when you don't pay the bank back..
- ..then they come and ask you to.. - I got that, Kunaal..
..but how did this happen?
You have to vacate the house in seven days.
Eight. Eight days.
Kunaal, tell me quickly.
Do you remember the film that I produced?
- 'Jhat.' - 'Zhat.'
'Zindagi Hamari Aur Tumhari.'
So it'll be pronounced Zhat.
Okay. What about that?
I mortgaged the house to produce it.
What?
But you said you found some angel investor.
Yes.I was my own angel.
God.
I cannot believe it that you could be this darned stupid!
That was on permanent thing you had, Kunaal..
..and that too, your grandfather had left it to you.
Did you think about Rumi's future even once?
What about my future?
I was the main hero in 'Zhat.' Why should I always be the side hero?
All this for that one film!
But...but...
But it is a good film. I believe in that film.
- Then sleep on its DVD. - It won't turn out to be so bad.
I just need to get back in the limelight, you know.
Like this birthday party. One photo with Bebo and Taimur..
..and I'll be sorted.
So much is happening, Kunaal, and even amidst that you..
..all you care about is a selfie with Bebo.
- One selfie. - I'm not going to let
Rumi be a part of this.
But it's a kiddy birthday party.
How will I gain entry without a child? And it's baby Taimur.
He's like the new Che.
- I don't believe this. - Sarika. Sar..
You know what? Fine.
I don't need you or Rumi to get my publicity to meet celebrities.
I will host my own party. Even Bebo will come.
Not every actor gets overnight success.
Anthony Hopkins. He became famous when he was 56.
So what will you do for the next 20 years?
"You robbed me, robbed me, robbed me."
"You robbed me, robbed me, robbed me."
No. No. No. No. It is not possible. It won't happen.
It is not in the contract.
What written? It is standard procedure.
- Full safety will be taken. - Bebo does not work like that.
Bebo does not work like that. Try to understand.
- How am I misusing her? - Her leg will be visible.
I will avoid it.
I will avoid it.
Hey!
You put the wrong milk in this, idiot!
- Sir.. - All right. I shall see.
Don't say you will see, Mr. Beera. You are thinking so much.
What is the meaning of you shall see? Tell me.
Okay. I'll do it. I'll do it.
Thank you. Do it. That's the way. That's the way.
Mother ******!
- Greetings. - Greetings. Greetings.
- My name is.. - Kunaal Roy Kapur, of course I know about your family.
What can I say about my family too?
Many problems take place in families.
You're right.
You're right. I mean you tugged at my heartstrings.
Really?
I still remember that dark morning of 1985..
..when my uncle's daughter was pumping out water with the hand pump.
Suddenly her scarf fell and my maternal uncle's son saw everything.
- Oh! - Everything.
When my paternal uncle learned about this he removed his sword and..
- Killed your maternal uncle? - No.
How could he kill him? It was the same blood. Family.
Thank God!
What, thanks God? My maternal uncle didn't think of family.
He took out a gun and fired.
And your paternal uncle died?
No. He stooped. He stooped.
- Uncle stooped. - Oh!
What oh? My older paternal uncle was standing behind him.
The bullet hit my older paternal uncle's hand. - Oh!
Okay.
Not oh. My older paternal uncle had a bucket in his hand.
The bullet hit the bucket and ricocheted towards sister- in- law.
- Really? - Sister- in- law gagged.
Sister- in- law passed away?
- No. No. The lamp in her hand went off.
- Lamp? - Yes. Lamp.
Since then there's been a spate of bad luck in our family.
3 murders.
32 rapes.
4 half murders.
- 2 to 3 cases of appendix. - I see.
And 1 allergy attack.
Same. Same. Our family.
Same. Worse than that.
Worse than that.
Don't ever let the lamp go off.
Mr. Beera!
- Mr. Beera. Mr. Beera. - Yes.
Mr. Beera, you are Bebo's manager, right?
That's right.
It's like this. I'm hosting a party on Eid.
I felt if Bebo would come..
You wish to invite Bebo to an Eid party?
Yes. Yes. Yes.
- You will have biryani as well. - Yes, of course. Mutton biryani.
You want to eat mutton in Bebo's presence?
Oh! She is vegetarian.
Obvious. No, no. This is impossible.
- I mean in Bebo's presence.. - No. No. No. No. Not in her presence.
Not in her presence.
It would suffice if she does a media appearance even for five minutes.
She does not have to eat.
Yes. This is doable. This is doable.
But she will come?
Why won't she come?
Why won't she come?
She goes anywhere I tell her to. Just like that.
Get it?
Just what's app your address to me.
- Wow! - Now wow.
- What's app. - Yes. Yes. What's app.
- Mr. Beera. Mr. Beera. - Yes.
One more thing. I know you represent big artists like Bebo..
..but could you tend to my work as well?
- You want me to be your Manager? - Yes. Yes.
Actually it's like this. My current Manager is completely useless.
She is completely useless and it will be a great honor..
..if you were my Manager.
Look, I have never managed males.. - No. Male and female. Male and female.
Mr. Beera, male and female is all the same.
And I will not trouble you.
In fact it would be a great honor if you were my Manager.
-Please. Please. Please. - Okay. Alright. Alright. Alright.
If you insist so much I will be your Manager.
You will.. When would you like to start?
What do you mean by when? Today.
You are hosting the Eid party, aren't you?
So I shall bring Bebo and the press too.
You can do that, Mr. Beera?
Just call me Beera, Mr. Kunaal. Just call me Beera..
..and wait and watch. By the time Eid comes round..
..the whole country will be salivating on hearing about the biryani.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Bebo. Bebo. Bebo. Bebo. Bebo.
You have been invited to the party.
Bebo has been invited to the party. You will come, won't you?
I will come too. Boo.
"Bebo. I am Bebo."
"Take my heart."
"I've come to give you my heart."
"Take it. Take it."
"Bebo. I am Bebo."
"Take my heart."
Mr. Kunaal. Mr. Kunaal.
My sweet. Don't touch it.
What sweet? Take a look at what I brought. Look.
Kunaal Roy Kapur to host Bebo for biryani.
Mr. Beera, you did it! You did it!
I told you I would inform the press.
The chubby actor intends to cook the dish..
..as a mark of tradition.
Who talked about cooking?
I was going to order it from Borivali biryani center.
Mr. Kunaal, when a party is hosted in our village..
..the preparations begin one month prior to it.
We don't order food.
We grow it. We hunt animals.
Then to prepare alcohol the whole village pees on the grapes to rot it.
Vijay Mallya learned this formula of fermentation from our village.
The preparation will start at 12 o'clock.
- Mr. Beera, it is 11 o'clock. - That's what I am saying.
They will be here any minute.
- Who? - The press.
They will cover you whilst preparing food.
Mr. Beera, there are a couple of problems.
Firstly I don't know how to prepare food..
..and even if I did, where is the mutton?
Mr. Kunaal, you just get ready.
I have already brought more than half the ingredients.
You brought the ingredients but what am I supposed to cook?
Mr. Kunaal, my grandma used to say taste is in the
tongue of beholder.
But Bebo is coming, right?
Crap!
Beera! Beera! Beera!
Well, hello there. Looking very nice.
- Radika Rashamiya, Bolly Gossip.com - Hi.
- Hi, sir. Myself Govind Rastogi. - *omit
- Please. Please. Please. - *omit
Elisa Qureshi. Rasoi khas.
- Sir. Sir. Sir. - Come in. Come in.
I have heard that you are going to prepare diet biryani.
Come in. Come in.
- Sir. What is your recipe, sir? - Yes, come in. Come in.
Sir, what's your Wi- fi password?
By the way I am so excited you're doing my idea.
Rytasha, what are you..?
So this is my grandmother's recipe.
- Oh! - wow!
The ingredient required for this is rice.
- How much rice? - This much. This much rice.
Sir. Sir. Sir. Give me the profile of rice.
Yes. Here.
Okay, sir. No, just the rice, sir.
Thank you. Thank you, sir.
- Yes. Here. Then? Next? - After the rice we have this.
- This. - Radish.
You will add radish to this?
I won't add radish. I won't add it. No.
Grandma used to add it, you know.
Food was scarce during the partition..
..so grandma used to add anything.
Frankly speaking grandma used to prepare insipid biryani.
Okay, how much time will it take? When will Bebo come?
She is due any minute. Any minute.
- When will you add mutton? - I will add mutton.
- Sir, I don't see the mutton. - I will add mutton.
Who is it now?
- Am I early? - No. No, not at all.
Good.
Because I saw this in the paper and I thought..
..I just have to have Kunaal's jungli biryani.
- Yeah? - Come. Come. Come. Yeah.
Biryani.
- Did you come from shooting? - No, no.
I just, you know..
Get in the character somehow.
Yeah, yeah. Listen. Listen.
- I don't know how to prepare biryani. - You don't know?
No. They want me to make the biryani.
Don't worry. Dhari devi knows to make everything.
First this will become a jungle.
After that the jungli biryani.
Okay, seriously, how much longer will it take for Bebo to get here?
Bebo.. You do one thing. Take Konkona's interview.
I mean she's doing a very interesting role.
I can tell you something about her character. Just speak with..
- Sir. Sir. Isn't Bebo coming, sir? - No, no. She is coming. 100 percent.
Yes. If Bebo isn't coming then we are going.
Rytasha, what do you wanna..?
Sir, where is the mutton?
The mutton. I..
Sir. Sir. Sir. If Bebo doesn't come I will lose my job.
I will have to sell my camera, sir.
Just give me one second. Give me one second.
I'll be right back. Right back.
Hello. Beera.
Yes. Yes, Mr. Kunaal. - Where is the mutton?
I have mutton. I have mutton. Look here.
Here.
Where? Where is the mutton? Wh..?
Mutton? Beera.
Mr. Kunaal! Is everything okay?
'The subscriber you are calling is out of balance.'
Incoming is free here.
Mr. Kunaal, bring the mutton with you.
- I'll be right there. - We are waiting for Bebo.
"Bebo. I am Bebo."
"Take my heart."
"I've come to give you my heart."
"Take it. Take it."
Mutton. Mutton. Mutton.
How am I going to kill you? I can't.
You won't even fit in the pot. You won't even fit in the fridge.
Sir. Sir. The mutton biryani will be prepared, won't it, sir?
No. I can't do it.
I will do it!
Koko? What.. What are you..?
I am Dhari Devi and this world is my jungle.
So you were under my bed?
The cupboard was full. Kunaal..
..now it is time for the slaughter.
What is wrong with you? What're you doing?
- Kunaal, I found my character. - No. What character?
- I found Dhari devi, Kunaal. - No. You don't have to do anything.
- In the jungle we cut animals to survive. - What jungle..?
- Don't.. - You're not understanding.
Listen. It's a veg biryani. We're making a veg biryani.
Kunaal, you stay out of it. No. You stay out of it.
What stay out of it?
- Follow me. - What?
- "Let's go. Let's go. Let's go." - What let's go?
"Let's go. Let's go. Let's go."
No. What let's go? Let's go. Let's go. Stop it.
What? No. No. Just..
"Let's go. Let's go. Let's go."
- "Let's go.." - One second.
"Let's go. Let's go. Let's go."
- Sing. - "Let's go. Let's go. Let's go."
"Let's go. Let's go. Let's go."
"Let's go."
- Just.. - Aah! Kunaal.
Kunaal.
Mr. Kunaal, the mutton is here.
- Mutton? - Bebo!
Bebo?
Where is Bebo?
Kunaal, smile. You're going viral.
Sir. Sir. Were you going to eat Bebo, sir?
No. No. No. No. No.
Friends, I won't eat it and I won't let anyone else eat it.
It's shocking, you know. This kind of abuse that just goes on nowadays..
- ..and there's against an entire species. - Absolutely.
And I have actually made a video about this.
I mean it's so relevant because there's this video called 'My voice.'
My voice dot in. You can actually check it out.
- Watch it on your internet. - Okay.
And it's anytime. Monday to Saturday. Just..
It is okay, sir. So what if you lost your house?
My palace is awaiting you.
- Thanks, Beera. Sorry for Bebo. - No worry, sir.
In any case the Doctor is going to put a Jaipur foot on her.
Look. He is calling.
Yes, Bebo. It is I.
What are you doing?
You are eating mango?
Okay. Okay. Sir, she wishes to talk to you.
Hello. Hi. It is I.
This is Kunaal. Sorry for the other day.
Don't say sorry, sir. Don't upset her. Don't upset her.
It is I.
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