You guys, it is the holiday season,
and I read that every day 750,000 people
visit Rockefeller Center.
Yep, they spend three seconds looking at the tree,
then three hours trying to leave.
It's just a beautiful thing.
"Sorry. Excuse me."
Speaking of the holidays, in a new interview, Donald Trump Jr.
says that his dad is a re-gifter.
[ Laughter ]
So when Robert Mueller gives the President a subpoena,
he's just gonna re-gift it to Don Jr.
So you'll understand when that happens.
There's so much going on in the news right now.
Trump's former lawyer is going to jail,
no one wants to be the White House chief of staff,
and there's a chance the government could shut down
in nine days.
That's why if you listen closely
you can hear Hillary Clinton singing...
♪ It's the most wonderful time of the year ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
That's right. Trump's legal situation is getting worse and worse.
You can tell he's nervous 'cause he spent all day
watching "Legally Blonde" and frantically taking notes.
"Bend and snap. Okay."
Some more news.
Trump's still looking for a White House chief of staff,
and I hear that he's considering Newt Gingrich.
Can we take a look at him?
Yeah.
He's pretty confident that he's got the job.
Today he handed the Keebler Elves his resignation letter.
-Today? -Yeah, just today.
-Today? -Yeah, I just heard it.
And get this -- former baseball player Jose Canseco
has offered to be Trump's chief of staff.
When Trump heard that, he said,
"You had me at 'baseball player,'
and you lost me at 'Jose.'"
[ Laughter ]
That's right. Trump's still looking for a chief of staff.
And I read that several people that he's asked
have turned him down.
This is interesting.
They all used an excuse generator to come up with
reasons why they couldn't take the job.
I'll show you how it works.
For example, when Trump asked Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin
if he wanted to be chief of staff, he said...
[ Beeping ]
"I'm sorry, but I've decided to move to North Korea."
-Wow. -It's an excuse generator.
-It's a generator.
-When Trump asked budget director Mick Mulvaney
to be chief of staff, he said...
[ Beeping ]
"I wish I could, but...
my New Year's resolution is to not do this."
[ Applause ]
And finally, when Trump asked former New Jersey governor
Chris Christie, he said...
[ Beeping ]
"I'd love to, but I've already made a commitment to a ham."
-A ham?!
-Interesting stuff. I'm just saying.
Guys, did you see this? On Fox News last night,
Melania Trump was interviewed by Sean Hannity.
Trump said it was a lot of fun tuning in
to watch the love of his life... and also Melania.
Listen to this.
Arizona Senator Jeff Flake
gave his farewell address on the Senate floor today.
There was a touching moment right after it ended
when people clapped and then whispered to each other,
"Who was that?"
Some celebrity news. I saw that Kanye West tweeted
that he's trying to get together with Bob Dylan.
When he heard that, Bob Dylan was like...
♪ My phone number's a-changin' ♪
[ Applause ]
I heard about a 102-year-old woman
who just became the oldest person ever to go skydiving.
And this was cool.
At 102 years old, she was able to use her skin as a parachute.
[ Laughter ]
Phoom!
[ Wind rushing ]
It's like a flying squirrel. -Yeah.
-Check this out, guys. A man in Florida
tried to pay for a hot dog at a gas station using weed.
Which is ridiculous 'cause everyone knows
Florida gas stations only accept meth.
And finally, you guys, the President tweets so much,
sometimes it's hard to keep track of everything he does.
So we thought it might be helpful if we went through
all of his tweets from this past week and set it to a beat.
It's time for "Tweets with Beats."
Here we go.
♪♪
So, here's how this works.
Everything I say is from an actual tweet by President Trump.
Once again, these are real tweets...and real beats.
[ Laughter ]
Want to start us off, Tariq?
-Yeah, let's go. -Yeah.
♪♪
-♪ So Trump's talking trade, said he's got a new plan ♪
♪ And a new alter ego ♪ -♪ I'm The Tariff Man ♪
-♪ Now he's working with China's President, Jinping ♪
♪ Said it feels good ♪
-♪ Not to sound naive or anything ♪
-♪ 'Cause Mueller's still there showing zero compassion ♪
♪ And Trump's like ♪
-♪ It's called presidential harassment ♪
-♪ Said there's no crime here, no secret solution ♪
♪ Meet with Russia? Nah ♪
-♪ This is collusion illusion ♪
-♪ Thinks people get paid just to say he's bad ♪
♪ And they're all just ♪ ♪ People forced to lie, sad ♪
-♪ And you can't put a price on our great institutions, but ♪
-♪ A great wall would be a less expensive solution ♪
-♪ Said his ex Rex Tillerson didn't do well ♪
♪ 'Cause he wasn't smart plus ♪ -♪ He was lazy as hell ♪
-♪ So never mind Michael Cohen and what he's done ♪
♪ No harm, no fouling ♪
-♪ And no smocking gun ♪
We have a great show tonight. Give it up for The Roots.
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