Audience Member: I'm not looking for a woman my size but to
get someone who's probably not my physicality
but still attractive, but
this is me at the end of the day, I'm not gonna go to the
gym, I'm not going to try...I feel this is me
I've accepted myself for who Iam. Ben: Good
question man so you've basically
answered your question with the question
from my perspective okay and I'll tell
you why so what you basically just told
me was: "I've already decided that this is
who I am going to be for the rest of my
life". Audience Member: "That kinda sucks but yeah." Ben: No but that's what you told me
you just decided right? And so who is it
up to to make that decision? Audience Member:"That's me, yeah, I know that". Ben: Right
and so if you're the problem you're also
the solution, so if you want you can stay
the same physicality for the rest of
your life, you told me "I'm not going to
go to a gym", so how do you intend on
changing that if you're not even
prepared to do the things that it's going
to take to change that? Audience Member: Yeah. Ben: So like yes
you can, don't get me wrong there are
women that you can meet that will be
attracted to you even, like because you
can still work on other things like
ancillary things like work on your
communication skills change like dress
dress really well all of those things
get a freakin amazing haircut or
something I wish I had your hair man
it's great hair, you know what I mean? So
like you've got stuff that I'm envious
of. I wish I could put on weight like you.
I don't think I've ever been above 70
kilos my whole life, okay? So like you
look at me and maybe these things about
me that you think, "Man, I wish I had that",
but I'm doing the same thing to you. Audience Member: "Yeah"
Ben: Okay and we all have our story like, our
reasons, like "Oh I can't have a girl
because of this reason and they kind of
a girl cause of this reason I can't have
a girl cause of this reason", and so my
question to you is this: How many more
days do you want to keep those excuses
and those reasons? How many more days?
Audience member: "Yeah, good point". Ben: Because you are in 100% control of
it you might not feel like it but you
like one of the things we teach our guys
is the difference between a victim
mindset and like being in control. Audience Member: "Yeah, I listened to that'
Ben: Okay, and so right now are you are you in
control are you being a victim? Audience Member: "Day by day it's hard to tell". Ben: Well you
just told me "I have this this is all
I've got I can't succeed"
So you basically just told me that
"Oh well I'm a victim this is all I got
oh well I can't do anything about it"
Audience Member: "But I did say it confidently". Ben: You did right, okay so the first
thing is to realize I'm not where I want
to be which is I imagine why you're here
right so good, the next step is to
realize that like take responsibility
almost in a brutally like ruthless way
with yourself and understand "I am the
problem". Everything you have or don't
have in your life right now is because
of you. Like everything that you do or
don't have in your life right now is
because of you. Like barring like,
obvious physical impediments you know
but like if you don't want to go to a
gym that's your choice, if you don't want
to choose to eat more nutritious things
that's your choice. I'm not saying you're
a bad person like I eat crap sometimes
right sometimes I don't go to the gym
but most of the time I do and so I just
want you guys to understand like you are
in complete control of your own lives
and this is the first thing that we
teach our guys on our course is how to
be in control take responsibility for
this stuff you do like about your life
but also take responsibility for this
stuff you don't like about your life and
again remember if i am the problem i'm
also the solution.
And I hope that that empowers you
because like is there anyone in this
room that used to be a lot more
overweight than they are now? Is
anyone in here? Okay and just quickly too
man, like even what we've just learned
tonight right, how brave is he too for like
addressing it right? So good on you right
"Right now I believe I am not attractive",
basically right? Okay, what kind of
actions are you gonna take? "I'm not going to go to
the gym. I'm not going to talk to girls.
I'm not going to choose the right foods."
Right? Or "I'm going to be nervous when
I'm around a girl I like" because I
believe this about myself and then
results okay? And then they go "See I
knew I was right! I knew I wasn't
attractive!" And so what we need to do
first man is is change in there who you
believe you are and because if you
believe that "I'm an attractive confident
athletic healthy person" you're going to
take completely different actions. Audience Member:"Yes"
Ben: And these two are kind of interrelated a
little bit at first sometimes you kind
of gotta sometimes fake it till you
make it a little bit but once you start
doing this stuff you're going to get
different results you go "Maybe I I am
good at this stuff. Maybe I am confident.
Maybe I am athletic. Maybe I am a healthy
person." Because the healthy version of you is in
there, you just covered him up
okay so allow yourself to love yourself
enough to do the things that someone who
loves themselves would do to experience
what you deserve man. Like this is your
birthright to have a beautiful woman
that you love that loves you back okay?
So, but it starts here okay? Audience Member:"Sure, thanks". Ben: Cool
Không có nhận xét nào:
Đăng nhận xét