Hi everyone, it's Katey, and welcome back to another episode of Therapeutic Tarot.
This one's going to be a little bit different I suppose, although not
entirely, basically if you've been following me you will know that I have
had some issues with alcohol dependency and I am officially, as of a couple of
weekends ago, five years sober, which actually makes me a little bit emotional
to say, but I am hella proud of myself for that. And so in this video I just
wanted to share with you an activity that I do to kind of help manage my
triggers. I have quite a few things that I've used around my addictive tendencies
and you know certainly alcohol has been number one but there are other things in
my life that also have you know a similar reliance for me, and so I don't
think this has to be used just for you know addiction specifically but it's
certainly useful at least for me for just things that, you know- maladaptive
behaviours, you know unhealthy habits, things like
that. Anything that you kind of notice you know you go to as you know a bit of
a crutch when you experience some kind of trigger, that's what this activity is
all about. But before we get into the meat of this video, I would ask that if
you haven't already please go and watch the introductory video to this series. It
basically just sets out you know where I'm coming from and you know why I'm
making this series, and also just a few disclaimers, the most important of which
is that you know this series and what I say, I'm not an expert, I'm not a
professional, and this is not meant to replace any professional, medical,
whatever help that you need for yourself. This is just some kind of extra stuff
that I've found useful for me and that I'm sharing with you guys as well. So this
exercise is very very simple and it comes in two parts. The first is to
basically just go through your tarot deck and pick out a couple of cards that
represent different triggers for you. You can do this randomly if you prefer, you
know shuffling the deck and pulling out what your triggers are, but for me I find
it most useful to you know consciously decide what card best represents the
trigger that I'm experiencing at the moment, or perhaps a couple of triggers
that I've been struggling with for the past month or whatever. So that you don't
overwhelm yourself, I would say you know maybe for starting this exercise pick
one to three different triggers that you're having
trouble with right now. And so I will go through a personal example just so you
can get an idea of you know how I've done this and why it's been helpful. And
I've picked out three cards for myself, and I've just done this using the
Centennial the Rider Waite Smith, just cause you know the image is simple and I
know them well, so that's the easiest for me to do. And the first is the 10 of
Wands, and this is basically just when I feel really overwhelmed, and also just
how this figure his kind of path forward is blocked by all of these
things that he's carrying, he can't see really you know where the finish line is,
if there is a finish line, so basically it's just feeling burdened and
overwhelmed by too much stuff going on. I definitely have a set amount of spoons,
if you've heard this analogy before, that I have to be very careful you know in
how I use those spoons, that I don't you know overspend and then become really
overwhelmed, because overwhelm is something that really really triggers me
a lot in terms of just wanting to check out and go and get drunk. Not not a happy
scenario for me! The next is the 5 of Wands, which basically is just conflict. I
find conflict, especially this kind of angry conflict, really difficult and very
very triggering. And thirdly is actually quite a happy card but basically it's
when I'm out and about with other people who are having so much fun drinking
themselves, you know I've gotten a lot better with this you know as the years
have gone by, but occasionally this still- I do have to kind of you know practice a
lot of self-care and you know the Wise Mind stuff when I'm in this situation. Now
these don't have to be cards that you know represent your big triggers overall,
or you know try to represent what where all of your triggers stem from, anything
like that, that's not the point of this exercise because I think that can get a
bit too heady and hard to work with. Instead what I'm asking you to do is to
kind of really single out individual triggers, situations, scenarios,
experiences that you find triggering. Step number two is very simply just now
drawing cards that correspond with each of our triggers
to kind of determine how we can best work with or deal with these triggers
that we're experiencing currently. Now for me personally I really like to use a
different deck so- it's not so much that you know I want these cards to be able to
come up, it's more the fact that I really like using the Rider Waite Smith to
determine my triggers because the imagery, I know it so well and it's quite
simple and straightforward, whereas with the you know how to deal with the
triggers, I find decks like the Next World,
especially the Next World, this deck is so radically self-loving,
so it's self-loving in a way that is empowering and you know encourages you
to take action. So I just think that decks like this are perfect for this
exercise. And so what I did was just shuffle and you know kind of really
focus on each of these triggers and draw a card to help me work with this trigger
at the moment, help me deal with this trigger in an effective and healthy way.
And so for my trigger of the 10 of Wands, I drew the 2 of Pentacles. And, of
course, one of the first things I think of when I think of the 2 of Pentacles
is just how important balance is and prioritising is. I think also,
specifically this card, I don't know, what I thought of was the fact that you know
all of the different things in my life, they come together to impact me in a
very specific way. So you know specifically, regarding the 10 of Wands,
it's not just you know 10 Wands, it's not 10 individual Wands that I'm dealing with,
it's how those Wands come together, it's this very specific combination of Wands,
and you know my personal experience right now, it's all of those things
coming together that create that sense of I'm overwhelm. So I suppose my
message, briefly, would be one of you know appreciating why I'm feeling overwhelmed,
what is it about all of these things going on in my life that is making me
feel overwhelmed and why is that triggering me, why is alcohol coming into
that equation, and then moving on from that, it is very important for me to then
move towards finding balance, finding some kind of compromise between these
things, finding a way to make them work for me,
whether that means dropping a couple of things, prioritising, or whether that just
means distributing them more evenly or in a more effective way.
The other thing I thought of just you know how, I don't know, I really like this
image, and how we have these two people kind of coming together, and how one
person is offering the other of this flower, I thought that was really lovely.
And because sun flowers are my favourite flower, and the person on this side is
holding the sun flower, I kind of just identified with her immediately, and I
saw this other person as offering her something else, and I just thought of you
know, just being reminded that you know people in my life want to help me and to
accept help if and when I need it. Next, to correspond with my 5 of Wands, I
drew the Knight of Wands, the Firestarter. And basically what came up for me was
just very much one of standing strong and believing in myself, believing that
I'm not only capable of handling challenging situations such as conflict,
but also believe that I'm capable of standing up for myself when necessary.
Just a reminder that I'm not weak and I don't have to bend to other people's
will just to you know placate them or to appease them or to avoid conflict. You
know, if and when it's necessary I can stand up for myself. And the other thing
this card brought forward was just the fact that you know creativity can be a
really important form of self-care, whether that be drawing or painting or
even just journaling or writing, just doing something that you know kind of
brings me back to my centre and is doing something for me, that can be a
really helpful way to move through those challenging triggers that come up for me,
that make me want to drink, perhaps creativity is a good alternative. And
lastly, for the 3 of Cup, my trigger, the 3 of Cups,
I drew the 7 of Cups, which I, just I love this card. And at the bottom the key
word is Imagination. And this card actually brought up quite a lot of
different ideas for me. The first, 'imagination', just kind of made me think
of kind of reflecting on what I think is going on in this situation, what am i
imagining these people, who are drinking and having fun and tipsy or drunk or
whatever, whatever is it that I've kind of built up in my head that I want, what
is it that I think the drinking is going to help me achieve. Basically, what this
made me think of was kind of detaching from what I'm building up in my head,
what I'm imagining you know drinking with my friends could be,
kind of detaching myself from those illusions that perhaps I've got going on
in my head when I'm feeling triggered by the situation. I also just thought of
being imaginative. So for me, a really important thing is being creative with
other things that I can do, especially in social situations, so perhaps that's you
know ordering a really fancy, fun mocktail - the Cups themselves made me
think of this. You know, that's been a really important thing for me, is
allowing myself, when I'm out in those situations, to have whatever I want that
isn't alcohol. On top of that, I also just see her really defining herself and
taking pride in who she is and essentially, I think that's really
important for me to do, is when I'm in those social situations, especially when
I'm with people who don't know me super well, those are often the situations that
I want to drink even more, and you know I find myself almost apologising. Instead
maybe I should just really wear that, and own that and you know, sometimes I do but
perhaps I need to do it more. Just kind of really celebrate the fact that I've
decided to take control of you know my own life and how I define myself and you
know how I present myself. And another thing that I thought of - this card
brought up a lot! - was just the fact that she's kind of you know in her own room
doing her own thing. I think sometimes I also just have to be okay with giving
myself permission to either leave early or to not go to things, just to be by
myself sometimes, that's okay to do. You know, I don't want to isolate myself
entirely, but I also need to understand where my boundaries are and that you
know, just spending time alone or leaving early and going home, those things are
okay and I need to allow myself to do those things when necessary. So a very,
very simple exercise, but certainly one that I found helpful with kind of
checking in with what is triggering me. Sometimes that first step is enough to
just kind of be like, 'I'm feeling triggered but what is that, what is
happening when I'm having those triggers?' So that first step, in and of itself, is
really helpful. And then, the second step, to just kind of really sit back and say,
'What can I do, how can I approach this differently, how can I look after myself,
what can i practically do to manage this trigger?' So I hope in sharing my own
example that has been helpful in understanding
you know what this activity is all about and how it can be useful. And as I said
you know you don't have to use this only if you have an addiction to something. I've
found this useful for other things that I'm noticing myself going to, whether
that's food or just isolating myself and not getting dressed in the morning,
whatever it is, those things that I- those habits that I'm forming that are not
helpful or not healthy. Obviously, alcohol has been the big one
for me, but we all have different things in our lives that you know kind of
crutches for us and if you know we're finding ourselves particularly triggered
and drawn to those crutches, this can be a really helpful activity. So I hope you
found this useful and interesting, and if you do give it a go please let me know
in the comments how you went, I would love to hear you know how you use this
activity, whether you change it up a little bit for yourself or if you just
you know how you found it, if you found it useful. And let me know in the
comments, too, if you're interested in you know kind of more this dependency stuff,
if you would like me to share some of the spreads that I've established for
myself working with this stuff as well. So that is all for this video, I do hope
you enjoyed it and until next time, so much love, bye!
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