The Way You're Attracted to Someone Isn't Why You Think.
If you think love comes as is, you are nowhere near the righteous path.
The reason is simply because you love someone based on your condition when you were introduced
with love from the very first time.
Some of you may have guessed it.
If you haven't you should know that you are attracted to people who can provide you
safety, love, and warmth as if you were 1 to 5 year old.
The concept of love indeed begins when you were kid.
This also defines what kind of love you are seeking.
The role of parents absolutely play role on how you demand love for yourself when you
are adult.
Basically, the reason why you are attracted to someone is not merely because the other
person is beautiful, smart, or kind.
It based on what you desperately need and enjoy when you were so much younger.
This kind of process works subconsciously, and you will not realize it.
Though it does not seem to change over time, loving someone is a constant process.
There are 3 general stages of love.
The first stage is basically when you were kids where you were introduced with either
love or hatred from parents which determine what kind of relationship you crave when becoming
adults.
In the first stages of love, we get to feel like the "golden child" in our families,
even if we weren't treated that way when we were small.
Norepinephrine, dopamine, phenylethylamine, and other neurochemicals turn our bodies into
a literal chemistry-experiment, as we are flooded with substances that make our palms
sweat, butterflies appear in our stomachs, and our hearts race.
The "high" we feel in the first stage of love is necessary for us to enjoin with
someone who can help us heel the deepest wounds we carry, and our subconscious minds know
exactly who that is.
When the love starts to feel mundane and tiresome, we've usually entered the second phase of
romantic love, which becomes the "struggle."
The second stage is the struggling period.
In this particular stage, problems start to rise.
So, instead of a sense of excitement and euphoria, you are likely to feel unwanted and unloved,
as you consciously realize your partner does not fulfill all your emotional needs.
Ultimately, you will learn how to get these needs met in a more compassionate way.
Either your partner or you feel unable to continue the relationship.
Debate, yells, frustration, abandonment, and fighting are very common thing to happen in
this stage.
This actually tests whether the relationship would continue or crumble down.
Once you pass the second stage, you must have been good enough in solving the problems with
your partner.
This actually gives so much better understanding towards your partner, and true love starts
to be arise.
It is a long process, but it truly exists.
Once we are exhausted from the struggles between our inner, wounded selves being in communion
with another person's wounded dinner self, we may choose to "give up."
We may also choose to take the relationship to a conscious level.
Conscious love is not based on crazy chemistry, or constant fighting.
There is no emotional abandonment, or constant push-pull of trying to connive, bribe, and
convince someone else to give us what we need to feel loved.
Instead, we learn to grow.
We stretch into better ways of expressing our needs, our hearts, and our feelings of
abandonment, rejection, or fear.
Both parties begin to see how they create behaviors and outcomes by their own actions
in the relationship.
They become more open to giving love to their partners in the ways they need to receive
it, instead of using force, manipulation, or withdrawal.
They become truly interested in supporting the other person instead of just having their
own needs met, and in the process, a great shift occurs.
We start to drop the defenses we developed as a survival technique when we were wounded
children, and start to open to true intimacy, physically, emotionally, sexually, and spiritually.
We may feel alive and fulfilled, but the same neurochemicals which were present in the first
stages of love will be replaced by a chemical concoction similar to what advanced meditators
on compassion experience, like a Buddhist monk, we begin to respond differently to life's
"slings and arrows."
More plasticity in the brain evolves, and we even experience a boost in our immune systems
and a relaxing of the nervous system.
We aren't constantly in fight or flight, and though we will still face challenges,
we accept full responsibility for all that transpires in our lives, freeing us to love
in an ascended way.
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