*
(GENTLE PIANO MUSIC)
No one is bulletproof, even though you might think you are.
I hate being in a wheelchair. Yeah, I don't regret jumping off that waterfall.
It has come with... trials,
and it has come with a lot of tears.
Yeah, I can't say that I regret it, because... I've learnt so much.
Um, and... I wouldn't— probably wouldn't be where I am today if I didn't jump that waterfall.
(BASSY, ENERGETIC MUSIC)
Copyright Able 2018
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
(GENTLE ELECTRONIC MUSIC)
(ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC)
(EXCITED SCREAMING)
(LAUGHTER)
I'm just spending the weekend with my cousins and...
heard about this waterfall just outside Tauranga at a place called Omanawa Falls.
I thought... should go check it out and have a swim and stuff; it was a hot day.
And then me and my cousin's fiancee decided to jump the waterfall.
(WATER WHOOSHES LOUDLY)
(SERENE MUSIC)
MAN: Ephraim! (INDISTINCT YELLING)
I decided to go first.
MAN YELLS: To the right. To your left! Go to your left!
MAN: There's rocks there!
If he slips, holy shit.
Jump!
Run up!
Go!
I don't know, eh. There's some big rocks over there.
WOMAN: Jump forward!
Do a run, Ephraim!
MAN: Is someone jumping? My husband.
(GENTLE PIANO MUSIC)
EPHRAIM: 'Took the jump...'
(CROWD CHEERS) Ooh!
No, he's all right. (CROWD APPLAUDS, CHEERS) Go, brother!
I had, kinda, tucked my knees in, and so when I hit the water — because it was so high —
yeah, it just felt like floor, hitting the ground. So when I hit the water it, kind of, um...
cos I wasn't completely straight to just, kinda, slip right in there.
All I could remember was not being able to feel my legs.
I remember yelling for help, but no one could hear me.
And so I just had to swim it to the edge.
By the time I got to the edge, everyone else had realised something was wrong.
(SOMBRE STRING MUSIC)
That's what fractured my vertebrae.
(WATER WHOOSHES)
(HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRR)
The ambulance sent a helicopter, which came about, maybe, 45 minutes to an hour later.
So, yeah, during that time, I was, yeah, just thinking,... 'Why can't my legs...?'
So, I was actually filming the jump.
Um,... I was actually quite far from him, though, so that I could get a good angle, I guess.
Um, so when he initially jumped, I had no idea that he was injured
until his uncle — who was actually near the rock — jumped in to grab him.
And then I knew something was wrong.
(SOMBRE MUSIC)
There were signs saying, you know, 'no trespassing', and...
we just ignored them.
I was kinda just thinking, you know, just... have fun. You know? I wasn't really— I wasn't...
yeah, thinking anything along the lines of, 'Oh man, this is easy. I can do this.' I was just thinking...
you know, this will be fun if I jump the waterfall —
only because I had seen other people do it online, on social media.
It didn't really seem like a big deal to me. I thought I'd just jump and it'd be fun.
(BIRDS AND CRICKETS CHIRP)
(ALARM CLOCK BEEPS)
(GRUNTS)
So, it's been about a year and... six months, I think, since my accident.
Me and my wife, we had only been married for about six months. Just moved into our home.
Everything was pretty much going for us.
Yeah, I felt pretty happy, and then, all of a sudden, had my accident.
(TRANQUIL MUSIC)
Life has changed... a lot in some ways, but just stayed the same in others.
Just trying to live a normal life, how I would, um, before my accident. Yeah.
Me and Ari, we don't really... we don't really go out much.
We're both working now.
Looking after me takes a lot out of Ari.
She has to spend a lot of time not only taking care of herself but me as well.
(TRANQUIL MUSIC CONTINUES)
To be honest, I'm pretty happy with how things are going at the moment.
I've stayed the same in terms of I have the same goals and same aspirations.
Just going about it now, I just have to do it differently.
(CAR BEEPS)
'Me and Ari work together as co-managers at the Anytime Fitness here in Gisborne.
'Working is important to me. Just makes me feel like I'm living a normal life.'
Just tell him that he needs to, um... Bring ID.
Yeah, bring ID.
'And so our roles are basically the same.
But because I'm in a wheelchair, we kind of divide the responsibilities.
I love working with Ephraim.
Work has definitely been a blessing for him, because it's kept his mind busy,
kept his mind off, um, what he can't do any more.
A lot of people just stop by the office to say how inspiring he is, or how they've...
how he's given them an extra push, because they always say, you know, 'Why do...?'
'What's my excuse not to come to the gym if Ephraim's here?'
(UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC)
I just love training in the gym. I've always been pretty into big muscles.
Last year, I competed at a wheelchair bodybuilding show. Done well there.
And so this year, I'm just focusing on taking that further.
(UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES)
It's something that I'd done before my accident,
and since having my accident, it's still something that I can do now, and just makes me feel normal.
ARI: We kinda just do all our morning routine here,
because our house that we're currently living in is not wheelchair-accessible.
So we just thought, 'Well, we're coming to the gym anyways. They have a disabled toilet.
'We'll just do all the cares and stuff here.'
(LAID-BACK ELECTRONIC MUSIC)
And then we have breakfast and then open up for work.
Yeah, so, Ari, she's employed by a caring company.
She's my full-time carer.
She's probably the most important person in my life at the moment. She does everything for me —
helping me to get dressed, helping me make all my meals,
going to the toilet. She helps me with everything.
I try and let her know that I'm thankful and that I love her,
just because she gives so much of her own time to me.
How's it going? Good, man. How are you?
Yeah, not too bad. Good to see you.
So, thanks for coming, man. Today, we'll just be doing a full-body workout.
'It took me about... three months after getting out of the spinal unit to get back into work.
'Getting back into full-time work really helped me mentally as well as physically.
'Yeah, I just enjoy training people who are in wheelchairs, because I just know where they're coming from
'and understand, maybe, the things that they might be going through.'
Hold it in the middle. Five, four,
three, two,
one. Nice.
'The goal, one day, is to own our own gym and to become self-employed.'
We'll go over— shoot over to the lat pull-down.
'To become our own boss, and then we'll have people working under us, taking care of it for us.
'But I really just want to take care of my family,
'put us in a position where we don't have to worry about...'
money or anything like that. I really just wanna secure my family's welfare.
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
I always forget how tall you were.
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
What? (SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)
'Close friend of mine invited me over to his wedding in Australia.
'So, I went there and then... the girl that he was marrying is Ari's sister.'
And so we met in the bridal party line.
We were partners and,... yeah, we just kinda kept in contact from there and...
yeah, couldn't be bothered doing the long-distance thing, so we thought, 'Well, might as well get married.'
Some of my goals definitely was not to get married.
But I guess Ephraim came into my life at the time that, I now see, was perfect.
Looking at old photos of us when I'm standing up makes me miss being able to stand
and being able to do normal things.
(SOMBRE MUSIC)
At first, when I had my accident, it kinda just felt like...
these two things kinda just weighing me down, really.
Because I'm just sitting down all day, the muscle just wastes away.
Muscles aren't really getting worked any more, so... they just shrink in size.
So it makes my upper body look bigger than what it really is.
I always wear pants. I don't really like wearing shorts, and...
people look at my legs and say, 'Oh, what happened to your legs?' (CHUCKLES)
Almost every day, I try and do something with my legs, whether it be stretching...
Yeah, I definitely feel like I still have ownership of my legs.
It's hard to not think about...
my legs, because...
I have to worry about them all the time, you know?
Cos I can't— I don't have much sensation, so if I'm, like, by a heater
I have to make sure that — if I am close to a heater — that my legs aren't getting burnt or anything,
cos, obviously, I can't feel what's going on.
(GRAVEL CRUNCHES)
Becoming independent is the ultimate goal, and driving is just a big— real, real big part of that.
Before I got a hand control car, I couldn't go anywhere without Ari taking me —
you know, dropping me off, picking me up. And so that was, kind of, really...
took a lot getting used to. I couldn't just jump in the car and go to places, wherever I wanted to go.
Definitely don't take my independence for granted, now.
I just consider to be independent a huge... a huge blessing.
How's it going?
I trained this morning and, um,... Mm-hm. ...it got—
yeah, just got a bit sore. OK. Yeah.
'Helping with the injury recovery in the upper body is really important for Ephraim,
'and that's what we're here to do.
'Hopefully, to help speed up that so that you can get back to your weight training.'
Is it feeling all right now, with lifting it up and that when you got outta your chair?
Yeah. Yep. Yep.
Still all right? Mm-hm.
'For Ephraim, of course, at the moment,
'using your upper body every day to help with getting around,
'not just for work, using the computer and all those kind of activities.'
Always trying to look after, especially the shoulders,
when you're having to transfer in and out of your chair 20-plus times a day. So it's...
yeah, it can get... not worrying, but just make sure you gotta look after yourself.
ARI: We had an ACC manager come and talk to us about what options are out there.
Before his accident, I was a carer.
And so he kind of just said, 'Well, since you were a carer before, do you wanna carry on,
'um, doing what you were doing, just this time with Ephraim as your client?'
At the time, it was either I had to stop working and earning money
and just live off what he was earning from ACC
or to take on board that responsibility as a carer and wife.
He just is comfortable with me doing his personal cares instead of having some stranger come into the home —
shower him, change him, stuff like that. And then I think the cons are just...
the fact that I have to try and juggle being his wife and his carer at the same time.
It's a real hard job to do — to do the duties of a wife and the duties of working as a carer for him.
(TRANQUIL PIANO MUSIC)
(DOOR OPENS)
(GRAVEL CRUNCHES)
It definitely has mentally impacted Ari a lot. She doesn't really get time to look after herself,
or take care of herself, or do the things that she wants to do.
It's all about me, really, and, yeah, I kinda feel a little bit sorry.
Yeah, I do feel sorry for her at times,
where she has to kinda put her own wants and needs aside in order to take care of me.
(TRANQUIL PIANO MUSIC CONTINUES)
Moving to New Zealand from Australia was probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to do —
to kind of leave the norm;
to...
kind of leave family as well;
to leave what I had...
planned to do and what I already had, to me, was perfect.
And so for me to leave and sacrifice all of that to move here, it was really hard.
I was studying, and I was working towards heading into university.
I had a good job — good-paying job — as you do in Sydney.
When he gets upset at things, or when he gets grumpy or sad, depressed about his way of life,
it obviously affects me, because I'm right there by his side, and we have to just go through it together.
So whatever emotions he goes through, I go through at the same time.
We're pretty much like one person.
I sometimes find it hard to think that I don't get enough credit
for the things that I go through and have to put up with.
I don't know, I try not to... (VOICE WAVERS) look at it like I'm doing it for the credit, you know?
I just... I'm doing it out of love,
but when you... do so much...
and everyone's saying how inspiring Ephraim is or...
You know, they...
feel sorry for him...
and just completely ignore the fact that the reason why he is where he is... is because of a team effort.
It's hard, but...
I would never change what's happened, um,...
because I've learnt so much, and I've come so far in life because of what's happened.
Everyone sees this guy in a wheelchair doing these pretty cool things,
but no one really sees the work that goes into that.
And so she kinda makes sure that I show up to all my appointments, that I can work. Making all my meals...
She spends a lot of time being selfless
and making sure that everything that I need, really, is taken care of.
(STEADY DRUM MUSIC)
(DRUM MUSIC CONTINUES WITH BASS GUITAR)
Nice, bro. Good strength.
If all my clients had his attitude,
they'd all be successful in everything I do with them.
My own trainer, he's really, really good. He helps me in a lot of ways,
not just training kinda thing. But he's a really good life coach as well.
Right on, my bro. Ka pai, bro. Just try and relax.
Right. Our hip flexors — that's where they sit, along here.
See, because he's in a... he's in that all day, these become tight.
It's like anyone in an office job. When you're sitting all day, they get tight.
You're showing great calmness.
We'll just keep working together until we achieve our goal of me standing up and walking again.
What we're trying to do, obviously, is to get some circulation going,
is to get some movement going, eh, in the knee, in the hip.
And, also, it gives him an opportunity to focus on his breath. It all comes from your breath.
Anxiety... Instead of using your facial muscles to be able to work, use your breath, your core.
He's got a never-give-up attitude. And you know, attitude like that is...
that's what it's about. And, you know, with all that attitude, it goes with bodybuilding.
It goes with everything we do in life, eh?
Attitude is everything, eh? That's what I reckon.
(ROCK MUSIC)
Every time I see him in the gym, working out, or when I see him in an office, working,
I sometimes just stop and think how proud I am of where he is now.
Despite being there with him, I still can never comprehend and fathom what he's...
going through and what he has gone through, what he's had to endure.
I was 20 years old when I got married.
My character's been built upon this trial.
I feel like I've become a whole lot more happier, which is strange,
because I feel like I've done so much and I've accomplished so much,
and I just feel happy that I've been able to accomplish so much in a short amount of time.
I am who I am today because of what's happened to Ephraim.
(RELAXED ELECTRONIC MUSIC)
Yeah, I remember the first time I went out in public after my accident.
Everyone kinda just... not looking at me weird because...
they just look at me and kinda just be cautious of me and just move out of my way and...
Yeah, I'm not really self-conscious, but I just, kind of... I'll get annoyed —
not at other people, but more annoyed with myself if there's something that I can't do.
I do worry a little bit when he's on his own. I've become a little bit more protective in the sense that...
people just looking at him just cos he's in a wheelchair.
Yeah, it just makes me sad that a lot of people will stare down on him as well,
will look at him like, um,...
he's different. And I know that he's not. He just has to do a lot of things differently now,
but he's just very much the same person.
Um...
Yeah, it just makes— just makes me sad. A lot of the times I have to try and hold it in,
because when I get like this, then he gets like that too. So I have to...
just stay positive and just, you know, ignore all of that stuff. So, yeah. Sorry. (CHUCKLES)
(BRIGHT PIANO MUSIC)
Yeah, since my accident, I've had to take nutrition a little bit more...
not— not seriously, but a bit more, just, careful in the things that I eat.
I can't control... Yeah, I don't really have control over my bowels and stuff like that.
So I need to make sure that everything that I eat is quite healthy and fresh.
If I eat a lot of fried food or fast food, yeah, I can end up having accidents.
Life was a lot more adventurous before the accident.
We were able to go out on hikes. We were always out on date nights.
We would go to the movies. We would always just find different things to do.
Always travelling, just going for drives, here and there...
Since the accident, we've just been in this little dome, or this little cloud of our own.
We just kinda do our own thing.
We spend a lot of time together. It can take a toll on us.
But at the end of the day, you know, I still love her the same. I still think of her in the exact same way.
I just appreciate a lot more now.
Sometimes I think of where we would be if he was still walking. I think we...
I don't think we would be as close as we are now because of this.
(CRICKETS CHIRP)
I'm just, um,
going to a meeting.
Just cos at church, I have a... call it calling or responsibility.
I've always been involved with, like, our youth and stuff in church and also outside of church as well.
My first job I— well, paid employment I had was, um, as a youth worker, so...
My faith is probably the most important thing. That and family.
MEN SING: # We thank thee, O God,
# for a prophet...
# to guide us
# in these latter days.
What I've been taught has just really helped me to get through this past year, since my accident.
I'm never trying to inspire people, but I just have to try my best to live a good life,
set a good example and hope for the best.
(GENTLE ELECTRONIC MUSIC)
Before my accident, we both wanted to have kids, and so...
now, because just due to being paralysed, we can't have kids naturally.
It's still something that we can do.
We're going to try and look at what options are out there.
I know there's IVF, and so we might try that, but it's... a process.
And... financially,
um, a process. And also, just the timing.
When I see how far we've come in a year,
I always imagine how far we will be in another year or two years' time.
I think that we'll do amazing things.
(LAID-BACK ELECTRONIC MUSIC)
Those first few days were really quite hard. I think I cried every night,
for maybe the first few months, actually.
Yeah, there was a lot of tears. I was real, real sad and real down.
And I remember thinking, you know, everything's kinda changed now.
I'm not gonna be able to do the things that I enjoy doing.
But now I've realised that I can still do those things.
Just gotta keep on working and trying to achieve that goal, just stay positive.
Yeah, I'm really excited about what the future has to offer.
I've always believed that you have to have something to do, something to work towards
and someone to love. Yeah.
(GENTLE MUSIC)
When I was up on the waterfall and thinking I was gonna jump off,
I didn't really think about what could go wrong. I didn't think about the consequences —
how it could affect not just me but everyone around me, who's close to me.
I've just learnt to appreciate the simple things in life
and kinda just be cautious of the consequences or the decisions that you make,
whether it be small or big.
Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air.
Copyright Able 2018
Attitude was made with funding from NZ On Air.
Tickets are now on sale for the 2018 Attitude Awards.
(UPLIFTING MUSIC)
This premiere event shines a spotlight on the achievements of people who live with disability.
For information about the event,...
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