so all of us at some level man or woman
wants to be hero the word hero if Latin
root means servo servo means servant it
actually means
slave the hero why there the hero has
become the ultimate servant to something
larger than themselves people and so
forth the person who thinks they're
going to lead by demand or by position
can only leave for a short period of
time but the person is idea serving as
my belief is if you can find a way to
take any group of people and help them
to experience their needs at a richer
deeper level than anyone else then
together you guys can get anything done
anything now it may not work the first
time but together you can get to that
point because needs are ultimately we
wrapped it we're not after the vehicle
we think Raptor you want a billion
dollars then you get it I got plenty of
clients and I will tell you it is not
the end game and so they have to make
lots of their second billion or you
think it's getting married and then you
get it you find out it's not the end
game for certain needs that have to be
there and the ultimate needs are growing
and giving because you only can feel so
good fills up by yourself so my core
belief is I got to serve I serve I can
lead because I believe motive does
matter if my motive is just to get you
to do something for me
there's a certain amount of power that I
can get to do that if I strategize if I
think if I feel and also if it serves a
greater good even if I don't intend it
if the bumblebee goes to try to get the
nectar it wants it's selfish goal I
believe is a higher power the guys at
all
when that bumblebee goes it doesn't
intend to give anything but pollen
sticks to its legs as it goes about
trying to get what it wants
that's how flowers are great I really
believe that everything has a web of
connection if your intent is to serve
yourself you're still going to serve
something more than yourself and you're
going to get a certain amount of insight
if your intent in your motive is to
serve something yourself but also
something more just your kids and I
believe you get a different level of
insight and because you're serving more
of what serves life not just me it's me
and my family if you're trying to serve
a community I believe you get a
different level of insight transfer of
humanity that develops I get emotional
feedback this is why I do what I do so
when someone stands up it's not about
business it's not about anything but
about serving them so I will use
abrasive or creative language I'll use
whatever takes humor stupidity I'll make
fun of myself I'll challenge I'll do
anything to serve that's why I'm here I
don't need to do more that I love to see
someone free and alive and lit up so
when that's your motive no matter how
people perceive you outside if they're
around you long enough
you can't hide what your real motive is
and they'll see it and they'll feel it
motive does matter if it's to serve
something higher I'll be that that
doesn't mean you don't get served too
and in business you got to be served or
I used to do business and I lose money
the business everybody else was happy
and it was wonderful except I had no
business so it's you know killing the
goose that lays the golden eggs so I've
learned to put that down with sin but
that gives me power that's why time
disappears face because I'm not about
getting some action time about the
outcome
there are certain patterns that cause
people to be fulfilled to be happy to
fit to be strong to feel alive to be
vibrant to have passion in their life to
do well financially but even more
importantly emotionally psychologically
spiritually and their health and their
relationships and there are also
patterns to make people frustrated
overwhelmed depressed sad lonely cause
them to be struggling financially
struggling with their body struggling
intimately and those patterns they're
not because there's something wrong with
somebody's because of a pattern that
we're doing that what's the fastest way
to create a change in basically
developing the one thing that all people
have in common to succeed their leaders
because I don't care what what style you
are I don't care if you're a mom you're
a great mom you lead your child you're
not led by your child or great dad
you're great businessperson you're great
salesperson you're a great negotiator
you're great anything you're a great
human being
I think this has been my entire life's
obsession what makes the difference in
people's lives and that leadership
component as I say doesn't always mean
somebody follows you a leader somebody
lives life on their terms that you will
never settle for less than you can be or
share or give or create it's not what we
get that makes us happy it's who we
become
how we live our life who we are as a
person people can take away all the
things but who you become no one can
take away and the problem is most of us
are trying to be something or not and it
isn't so much about change about
changing yourself the change happens
when you be yourself know thyself
that's the hard part for most people and
then be thyself because most of us in
our lives out of a desire for respect or
achievement or love or connection or
something we've been trying to be the
way we think we'd have to be in order to
get that love respect appreciation
whatever it is we've been after at some
unconscious level and we've been doing
it so long that we think that this is
who we are because success without
fulfillment is failure and I can't tell
you how many people I work with who are
supposedly the best in the world at what
they do and they have more money than
they can spend and they have all these
people that love and respect them and
yet they're unhappy inside because if
you want to know what's really you where
you're going to be a
I've is when it's really you and you may
think you know who you are because
you've been living a certain way but
I'll tell you how you'll know you'll
feel you for if you'll feel strong
you'll feel unlimited you'll feel free I
have seen and a three million people
around this earth in eighty countries
I've seen just better than you can see
and there are only so many patterns and
what you're going to find underneath all
of this behavior is we have the same
needs when you understand what those
needs are and which ones you're focusing
on you start to understand why people do
the crazy things they do including you
and I and you begin to understand hey
there might be a better way to meet my
needs and I don't have to get caught up
in this game of stress and frustration
upset or I could really help this person
I care about because I could see what's
really going on part of what we want to
accomplish here as leaders is we want to
become practical psychologists we want
to understand what's really going on so
we can help so we can make a difference
so we can transform so yes of course you
can do better in your business because
the more you understand about what
people need and want the greater you're
going to be the better manager better
leader the better mom or dad the better
friend and there's a better you that's
available when you understand what's
driving you but most of us are running
patterns over and over again and we want
to free that up to free it up we got to
break the pattern we've got to do things
that are different so we're gonna do
something different I'm not here because
I believe in positive thinking if you
think that's what I believe you don't
know much about me I'm not one of those
people who believes you're supposed to
go to your garden and chance there's no
weeds there's no weeds there's no we
just move
there's weeds right there all right
that's what I believe
here's what I believe I believe that you
really want to be effective you got to
tell the truth what I want you to get is
the single most important skill in life
it's the word that all leaders have what
would that word be influence what
changes companies is leaders the only
way to change the company is leadership
and I want to change a company that I
own and I want to make a shift in that
company the number one thing I'm going
to do is shifting leadership that might
be taking leaders to a different level
that I bring new leaders in that buy me
new leaders of new voices with new
perspectives with new skill sets new
directions but we need to take things to
the global leaders solve problems and
leaders maximize resources if you're
going to solve problems you can't do it
yourself it would already been solved
you have to get others to help you to do
it
that requires influence true if you can
get people to maximize resources that
requires influence if you're going to
get people to partner with you provide
you resources capital suppliers anything
that requires influence if you're going
to have an impact on your kids or your
community or the world that requires
influence there is no more important
skill of leadership than influence and
yet most of us think of it like selling
and as a result we don't master
influence so I'm not here today to try
and get you to become a master of
influence in 45 minutes or so by
chatting with you here because we have
so many other speakers this is the area
of life I am most focused on because I
know that if you can't influence you
can't lead but if you can influence
powerfully intelligently with integrity
there's no limit to whatever you can
envision and what you can make real and
if your influence becomes not just use
the influence but you're able to
influence systems people company culture
if you can turn other people into
influencers now whatever you vision
about can be made into reality and so as
a skill of influence we're going to ask
ourselves company agree leaders are what
change companies raise you with that say
I
and leaders number one skills influence
of degrees say aye but then the question
becomes how do you influence how do you
influence consistently with integrity
you can influence many ways you can do
without integrity but the good news is
we live in a world today where whatever
you do is transparent to the world
because there are no secrets anymore
other I don't try to have a secret today
bless you you can forget the secret with
the internet with a culture we have the
way the world is today there are no more
secrets and whatever you think is still
possibly keep secret give it three or
four more years and it'll be impossible
every phone call you make is recorded
there's no single phone call that goes
in turn out in North America that they
don't have a recording of and they can
search by word by tone by tempo they can
even recognize voices now there's no
thinking of such thing as privacy
everything you've ever put on the
Internet is there forever and people
know it and can search it the way you
write the searchable map you cannot sign
you email you can put on somebody else's
email and the structure of your language
and the way you've influenced things can
be study at this level so the good news
about that is manipulation as a ongoing
tool for success is over but adding
value will never go out of style truth
will never go out of style
so influencing with integrity is the
secret but what really influences people
do facts and figures we give you no
facts and figures out of a core story is
I can influence people no it's the
weaving of that story together in a way
that produces what shifts people and
that's human emotion ultimately the big
game here is emotion you have to
influence emotion you have to influence
see most of your people you're going to
maximize resources if we all agree as we
talked about the other day it's not a
lack of resources it's a lack of what
resourcefulness if you're creative
enough if you're playful enough if
you're determined enough if you're
focused enough you can find a way if
you're giving enough if you're generous
enough if you're honest enough if you're
courageous enough you will get people to
help you you will find the way you will
make that thing happen you'll access the
resource you got some of the code you
teach you loan it to you let you try it
drive it experience it so it's the
ability to influence emotion because
that's what affects our intellect that's
the bottom line
story is only there to give you a set of
facts to educate someone that will make
them emotional up to make a decision and
what they do is they go through a series
of things that you have emotions about
they may save them in an unemotional way
but the only reason they work is because
you know they're going to open the
person's emotion how many agree with me
on this I so as leaders we can never
forget the humans are emotional
creatures including ourselves and to
influence other people we have to know
what already influences them
we can't ever forget what truly
influences them it's going to come down
to our ability to connect with them at a
deep emotional level or get others to do
the same here's how I say it a really
simple term to influence someone you
have to already be influenced right to
move somebody you better be moved to
touch somebody you can't touch somebody
about your product or service or vision
right here your company if you're not
touched to persuade others you have to
be persuaded
you can't give somebody else what you
don't have now you may have it
intellectually and here's the challenge
we first meet somebody in your
relationship and you're all excited
what's a little energy like zero to ten
make the sound of that energy you meet
some of your totally excited by making a
sound every six months six years twenty
years later and scary at it and it's not
time because there are people and I've
been with them and together 65 years and
they're still out of their mind for each
other they make the same amount of noise
you did in the beginning here what
changes is very often when you're around
something enough I don't care what it is
there's a law called the law familiarity
the law of familiarity says this if you
round something enough you take it just
a little bit for granted as a matter
what it is it's not that you don't care
it used to it it's that the variety of
it is not quite as high it's not so new
and with that sometimes you give it less
significance even though in your heart
you know it's significant you don't keep
the aliveness of it it becomes simple
you intellectualize versus something you
feel inside your body with a passion so
there people say but we love each other
yeah oh that's great you know hug each
other every now and then you say you
love each give vision little kiss like
that was that I was in the beginning no
it isn't time it's that most people
don't understand that this emotion this
intensity this passion has to be
constantly reinforced every single day
and like any muscle if you don't use it
you so then you have the base
understanding why you do what you do but
you've lost the energy that makes it
alive and so if you're going to be
touching people you got to be touch so
then the question is how do we influence
ourselves how do we influence other
people we got to get them into their
emotions we got to get ourselves into
the emotions they're going to move us to
action we got to do that ongoing because
otherwise all the stuff you wrote down
will die it'll die in your book it'll
die in your head
there has to be a level of emotion level
hunger in you that makes you go follow
through there's got to be level of
energy knew that when you go share with
people you're able to influence them to
follow through and when they don't do it
enough to get back in there with them
again and get them to do it again this
is where the whole game gets won or lost
the agree to disagree with me on this so
what we got to look at is first of all
us how many do you have days when you
wake up and you feel like I don't want
to talk to people today I'm going on
days like this in your life say I but
again as I said the other day if you're
the leader you don't have that choice
you're the leader you have to get in a
good state if you leader you have to get
yourself in that place and how many of
you have had some gut checks let me see
again in the last six months 12 months
in your business with economic economy
changing right has never changed before
how many got those gut checks AI so what
do we do we have to become masters of
influence when these means we have to be
able to master the state of our own
organization the master state of our own
organizations got to know how to change
that how fast my friends how fast and
where does it have to start our selves
since were the first constraint and if
we can do with ourselves and influence
then we can teach everybody else to
influence we've said business is
innovation and marketing you have to
influence people to innovate because
they're not going to just do it because
they're used to what works and it's
easier and they know it
innovation means massive what change how
many people go get me more massive
change in my life
with all the other things I'm trying to
hang on to they're not going to do that
you have to influence people to innovate
and marketing is influence so what
influences us is our States how do we
change our states let's start with you
and I and with anybody I'm going to work
with you've worked with me before you
know the first answer you're going to
change somebody state the fastest way to
do it is physical trying to change
somebody's mind is really hard change
their body their mind will go if you
give somebody else alcohol and just see
how quickly you can change them true
given have alcohol I don't care who they
are they're going to change what are you
changing biochemistry physiology
physical body and the emotion the mind
will shift that's why people take drugs
it's why people eat when they go e it's
a biochemical change in their body so
but we can do this through movement we
can do this to change so if you want to
be the leader and you're going to be
affected first thing I say to all of you
going home so you don't feel overwhelmed
is you need to develop a ongoing
discipline because we are our rituals I
mean a physical one if you want to say
well why is my life the way it is today
look at your rituals what do you call
them rituals are not you have them most
of you get up and you have a set of
rituals you go straight to email or you
go straight and workout or you have your
breakfast or you hit the snooze alarm at
least three times your ritual who knows
what I'm talking about here and if you
want to know what somebody's like you
can see the rituals you can look any
buddy's body in this room if you have
them take their clothes off and you know
some of their rituals or lack thereof
is it true if every day you get up and
your ritual is you go to Starbucks and
order a smoking book at the couple or
whatever those things are that you have
right and a big muffin and whatever it
is right that's what you do every day
it's not hard to figure out what you're
going to be like my 10:30 in the morning
you're gonna be looking for your next
coffee and it's whatever is want to
stimulate your adrenal glands like crazy
and they're going to drop predictably
and we know what your stress levels can
be like we know when you're in you're
going to go and say it's predictable
because of your rituals if you eat a
certain way you can predict that person
is going to be fat and tired you use a
different way you know if a person eats
and they exercise a certain way you know
everybody's going to be like who here
works out five days
week never misses it's just your life
let me see your hands look at look at
member bbear that's fantastic how do you
like everybody Hannah's really fantastic
who here honestly never works out
consistently right don't clap now here's
what's interesting
I'm not saying one is right as one is
wrong but with those two different
rituals create a different body yes or
no if we wanted to really make it clear
we'd say everybody works out five days a
week stand up we can look at them sit
down everybody doesn't work out stand up
look at them it'll be pretty obvious now
some people's metabolism is different
than goodbye with different things but
you get the picture don't you your
relationships today are the results of
your rituals if the first thing you ever
do when you come on them is honey and
then you go and give a little peck on
the cheek and then you sit down and
start typing your emails when you flip
on the news it's not hard to know what
your relationships gonna be like you
guys might love each other but it's
going to be one boring dead relationship
it's like having a brother or sister but
if your new ritual was and you just in
the beginning you made it a ritual just
made for fun you say every day when I
come home the men I'm gonna do they're
gonna yell my husband a wife's name or
sometimes I want my wife's little crazy
so I go Lucy yeah I'm all and then we
both go running wherever she is now so
wherever the helps me go running full
speed like lovers haven't seen each
other in six months we do it ask my
assistant all the time not every day but
it's our ritual to this process right
it's just a crazy thing thank you thank
you I appreciate the ham I don't mind
telling you to do this I'm telling you
it's cousin once you create yours
because when you do that and you're
playful and crazy and you do the regular
basis that you can't wait to see each
other and the biggest ritual that we
have besides physical by the way let me
just say to you there's this when you go
home if you want to transform your
business transform you by creating first
if you don't already have one a set of
physical rituals that you're not going
to miss I don't care if it's three days
a week four days a week something is
going to make you physically strong
because in a place where there's going
to be a lot of fear the way you deal
with crisis is number one thing you
should do is feed your mind and you're
doing that get yourself new answers
immerse
yourself in new environments get new
voices have new perspectives asking new
questions is not what we've been doing
here right and we're doing it together
and bringing all those people together I
basically to create innovation in your
life and marketing I've assembled here
19 people you assemble five days your
life and we're just walking day and
night it's the total immersion of what I
taught you in innovation it's really
what it is but it's going to continue
for it to continue that we've also been
managing your state to a great extent
all right most of you don't call home in
four or five days they start clapping my
crazy and screaming and shaking you
don't do that you're safe right and so
something going to go like wow it
doesn't feel the same as with the
seminar and stuff I'm back here by
myself and my people aren't doing this
but some of you will go home and
initiate this you're going to have your
physiology five your five minutes of
physiology ship once an hour once every
90 minutes or no more than once every
two hours you're going to start your
morning with everybody you're going to
bring in and get some little audio clip
of something from a movie or something
that blast across you know the room and
have everybody stand at attention you're
going to do some crazy stuff if you're
smart rubber samples and see what they
do they got the most crazy stuff going
on there all the stuff that I do in
seminars they do every day at their
location with their people and people
can't wait to get the work in there in a
certain state
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