Perhaps you are familiar with the term, "success ethic."
The success ethic stated simply says, "When you
get what you want, you will be happy."
It is based on the theory that if we work hard and solve all of
the problems in our lives, some day we will be happy.
The majority of our thoughts and activities in life are centered around
solving problems.
As we've learned, whatever you think about becomes
your reality.
And so, what do you think about most of the time?
It is usually problems.
Indeed, the first thing that many of us think about
when we get out of bed in the morning are all the problems that we have
to solve and how hard we have to work.
We have been trained to think about what isn't, what should be and what
we don't have, and then how we might remedy a situation, solve it or make
it better.
And so when you first wake up, you focus automatically on
all the problems that you must face that day.
If you will take an honest look at your life, however, you will
probably find that solving problems working hard and having the "right"
things do not fundamentally improve the quality of your life.
In fact, it has probably taken away from the quality of your
life by diminishing the fun and excitement of living.
Let's talk about the creative process.
You and I want to create our lives in the best possible manner.
To do this, we must flow with life instead of flowing against life.
To flow with life, we want to create from the model of Being-Doing-Having.
The universe flows from being into doing into having.
Being is an inner experience - it comes from within you.
You can allow outer circumstances to determine your
state of Being - your level of happiness or satisfaction - but you run
the very real risk of those outer circumstances controlling your life and how
you feel about yourself.
If you say, "I'll be happy when...", you will
never be happy.
Suppose you think a new job will change your life.
So you get a new job and pretty soon it's the same old stuff;
you have to deal with people, handle responsibility, meet deadlines and
work with others who are not as enlightened as you.
That is the reality of it.
You then realize that this job didn't make any major difference in the
way you feel, so you have to find something else to make you happy.
Maybe you think a new mate, a new home, having a baby, or
making more money will change your life.
And so eventually you get all those things, and you are still not happy.
The reason is simple.
Nothing outside of ourselves will ever make us happy,
because happiness is an inside-out experience.
And it starts at the Being level.
We have talked about how the universe flows from Being into
Doing into Having.
But unfortunately the success ethic, which most
people are using to create their lives, flows from Having into Doing into
Being.
The success ethic states that if you have the things that happy
and satisfied people have, you will do what happy and satisfied people
do, and then you will be happy and satisfied.
Is this really true?
Well, you and I have more of everything than any
generation on this planet.
We have more time to do what we want, more money to spend
on what we want, and we are more technologically advanced than any
civilization in the history of this planet.
Yet look around you and notice that as a culture we are far from being either
happy or satisfied.
The truth is that life flows from Being to Doing into Having.
If you are being happy and satisfied - from the inside
out - you will start doing what happy and satisfied people do, and you
will have what happy and satisfied people have.
One of the Buddha's great contributions was his teaching that desire creates suffering.
This means that when you want something more and you don't accept what
you already have, you suffer.
Now, this doesn't mean that you shouldn't create more things
in your life.
On the contrary, you and I are purposeful, creative beings.
But so many of us are unhappy no matter how much we have.
We always seem to want what we don't have, and then when we finally
get what we want, it is like the song, "Is That All There Is?"
We thought the rockets would go off and life would be
totally fulfilling, but then the disappointment came because there was something
else missing.
Buddha's teaching was to give up desire and thus eliminate
suffering.
While this is important, it is not the whole message.
One of the most important things about accepting where
you are right now and enjoying what you already have is that you
can have the same peace of mind, the same tranquility, and the same joy
right now that you think you will have when you eventually get to where
you want to go.
This is the most important message.
Living in the present doesn't mean that you just accept what you have and cease to create.
It simply means that you already have what you want at the Being level.
At the Being level - where you are right now - you are already
a success.
Most people's lives are about getting something.
And the truth is, there's nothing to get.
All we have to do is to Be.
The Being produces the end result.
It is imperative that you understand that the doing and
having parts of your life are not what determine the quality of your life.
The Being aspect is what determines the quality of your life.
Who you are - your conscious perception of your Self
Being - controls what is happening to you.
When you focus your attention on solving problems and trying to
make things better, something very interesting happens: you miss what
you already have.
So the only way to find happiness and satisfaction is
to enjoy what you have right now.
Again, I am not saying that you shouldn't set goals or make plans.
What I am saying is that you should enjoy the present moment because this is all
you have.
Create for tomorrow, but live in and for today.
We only have two choices in life.
The first is to enjoy what we have today, and the second is to have anxiety
about what we don't have and focus on tomorrow hoping it will be better.
There are no other choices.
Now, remember, getting what you want will not change your life
at the Being level, so don't let what you have determine who you are
otherwise you will always feel dissatisfied.
If you are tied into getting somewhere or getting something to make you
happy, you will be on a treadmill for the rest of your life.
You will be operating from the hypnotic belief that more is better, and that it is
much better over there than it is over here.
Go after what you want, but enjoy the trip.
Life is a journey, not a destination.
Know that when you get what you want, it will not change
who you are at the Being level.
So enjoy yourself, love yourself unconditionally and participate in the trip.
The reward in life does not come from achieving.
It comes from participating along the way.
Writing your own script means that you are the one
who decides what the trip will be about and what the destination will
look like.
Your intention sets the universe in motion.
The universe flows in the direction of your intention, and so it
is important to be clear on your exact intention in any situation.
If you are absolutely clear as to your intent, your subconscious success mechanism
will support you in getting there.
Edison, working on all of his inventions, always kept in mind where he wanted to arrive.
And because he did so, every failure supported his ultimate success.
Most people encounter problems in creating the kind of life they
want because they have not clearly determined where they want to go,
or visualized what it is going to look like when they get there.
Those who lead purposeful, successful lives do so because
they have set up in their minds a clear picture of what they want to
create in their lives.
Have you ever wondered why New Year's resolutions don't
work?
We have such good intentions, but what happens is we often say
things like, "I'm not going to eat any more sweets," "I'm going to stop
yelling at the children," "I'm going to stop overeating."
But the New Year's resolutions were not about what
you wanted, but what you didn't want.
They were not an image of the end result, but rather a
negative reaction - a form of negative self-talk to the present.
And this is the reason why so many world problems, business
problems and personal problems persist; the individuals concerned
focus on the problem and what they don't want to happen, rather than
on the end result or the ultimate goal.
Goal setting is the key factor that will determine your success or
failure in the doing and having portion of your life.
Did you ever take a business trip without at least having some
idea where you were going?
Did you ever play tennis without knowing where the tennis court was?
Have you ever left your house to do your weekly shopping without
having at least some idea of where you were going to shop?
Have you ever taken a holiday without knowing where
you wanted to go?
Isn't it strange that while the holidays we take merit
goals, the games we play merit goals and even the shopping we do merits goals,
but we rarely establish goals for the most important journey of all
- our own life.
"Oh," but you say, "I don't want to be pinned down.
I want to be spontaneous.
I want to be free to change my mind."
Well, sometimes we mistakenly think that freedom means avoiding
commitment.
We fear that if we commit to something it will own and
control us and so we avoid being the cause of our life and avoid making
commitments.
We say, "I want to be free."
But notice how our avoidance of commitment and
responsibility keeps everyone around us in prison, not really enslaved,
but in confusion, not knowing what they can count on, until we make the
decisions.
In such a relationship, no one can truly win.
True freedom actually lies in our ability to make choices
and commitments.
The question we have to ask ourselves is "What
do I really want?"
Start from the position that at some level you absolutely know
what you want.
At some point you have to make a decision.
Keep this in mind - If you don't decide, someone else will
decide for you.
And their decision may not be what you truly want.
You've heard it said that no decision is a decision.
Hidden within indecisiveness is the goal of always being
right.
As long as we don't know what we want, we will never be wrong,
never make a mistake, and hence we will never be disappointed.
We have been programmed since childhood not to make mistakes.
By being indecisive we can remain a child.
The moment we decide to take charge our lives is the moment we
really leave home.
Once we start making decisions for ourselves, we are
on our own.
It is safer not to make decisions, to be passive, childish and to
take our cue from others.
Making a decision always reveals something about you.
Making a decision tells people who you are.
And so, making a decision is essentially divulging a great
secret.
If your purpose in life is not to reveal who you are, then you will always
remain undecided.
Another reason for indecisiveness is the fear that we may have
to give up something.
For example, if you want to take a vacation to
Hawaii, it means you have to give up going to the Bahamas at the very
same time.
To choose one goal means you may have to give up others.
If you decide on a certain way, it means you may have to give up other
paths.
It means you can't be everything, do everything and have
everything at the same time.
It means you can't please everybody.
When you make a choice, you run the risk of rejecting the values of
certain people.
They may see you as you really are, not the way they
want you to be.
In other words, not like them.
So by doing nothing, you are able to retain the love and approval of
different people whose values contradict each other, and your indecisiveness
helps you to avoid trying to reconcile situations that can't possibly
be reconciled.
Everything in life is a matter of choice.
There are only two things we have no choice about.
We cannot avoid these two things no matter how hard we try.
The first is that we must die.
Death is an absolute certainty.
And the second thing we have no choice about is that we must
live until we die.
Now understand this - everything else in your life that
you think you have to do, or are forced to do, is a choice.
You and I do everything because we choose to do it.
We can't change the fact that we are going to die or
that we must live until we die.
But we can change anything else because everything else is a choice.
Look at all the areas of your life and realize you do everything in your
life because you choose to do it, not because you have to do it.
Remember - the only two things you have no choice about is; you have
to die, and you have to live until you die.
Period!
Look at where you are in your life right now.
Where you are is where you want to be.
Consciously or unconsciously, you have made a
choice.
If you want to go anywhere, you must first understand where
you are right now.
Many people lie to themselves about where they are,
and they deny their situation in life.
But it is absolutely essential that you acknowledge where you are before you can move
on.
Is your life working the way you want it to?
Are you where you would like to be?
Do you have the things that you would like to have?
If the answer to any of these questions is "no",
then take a look at your payoff for being where you are.
What pleasure do you get out of denying yourself?
What pleasure do you get out of being unhappy?
What pleasure do you get out of being uncomfortable
and not belonging?
What pleasure do you get out of thinking in terms of lack and limitation?
It is important to remind yourself that everything that you do in
life, whether it is positive or negative, is attached to a reward or a payoff.
So look at your payoff.
Observation is the first step in changing anything.
When you observe, you are taking the first step toward
freedom.
And as you observe, you begin to see your own patterns of
thought.
You have to tell the truth about where you are before you can
move on.
If you are in pain, admit it.
If something is not working, admit it.
This is the fundamental principle of Alcoholics Anonymous.
You must first acknowledge that you are an alcoholic
before you can recover from alcoholism.
So look at where you are right now, and then decide where
you want to go.
Let your mind be open to new possibilities.
Remember, at the Being level, you are total power and you can
create anything that you want.
Think about what turns you on.
When was the last time you really felt turned on?
When was the last time you felt enthusiastic or stirred up by something?
How about half a dozen times before that?
If you can answer these questions, you have some
powerful clues to what you really want.
If your response is that you almost never feel turned on, then you are
living in denial.
When you are free to choose, how do you spend your time?
Is there some kind of activity that keeps you
interested?
Whatever reason that you might give yourself for doing it, you
have an important clue as to what you really want to do.
On the other hand, if you find yourself in your free time doing nothing but sleeping,
daydreaming, or watching television, that is a pretty good sign that
you've not allowed yourself to experience what you really want.
If you were relieved of all practical considerations, including
financial considerations, and if all the possibilities were open to you,
what would be the first thing that you would do?
What would be the next thing that you would do?
What would you do with your life if this happened?
This question can be fun because it helps to make your
fantasies conscious.
Perhaps you even have a fantasy that keeps coming back?
Take a look at those fantasies and choose something.
You can always change it if you don't like it.
You are only committed to it for as long as you want to
be committed to it.
So make a choice.
Start creating what you want in your mind.
Have the total experience in mind first.
Feel that way, be that way and imagine it happening just the way you want it to happen.
Alot of us are trying to become succesful, trying to become happy, or wealthy,
or lovable, or to gain something from life that life doesn't presently hold.
But we are what we hold, and it comes out of us.
Goal setting is simply making choices.
Goal setting is knowing where you want to go.
Said another way, if you don't know where you
want to go you will probably end up someplace else.
If we are not achieving what we are capable of achieving,
it is because our goals are not clearly defined.
Writing our own script means developing a definite
workable plan designed to implement action.
Your success will be determined largely by your plan of action.
Writing your own script also means, quite literally, that your plans
should be written down.
The kinetic action of writing will further impress
your subconscious mind.
Your written plan will give you the courage to follow
through and help you to eliminate obstacles, distractions and
interruptions.
It will also serve as a yardstick for progress.
You will be more aware of how far you have come and how
far you have to go.
Many psychological studies have shown that a person's
motivation is at its highest when he or she has some way of measuring
accomplishment.
Writing will crystallize thought, and thought motivates
action.
It reinforces your commitment to the attainment of what you
want.
It will remind you of your objectives, and each time you review
what you have written, you will be reminded of what you want and why
you want it.
You will be greatly rewarded for doing this.
Also, you will conserve time and energy because you will
always know where you have been, where you are and where you are
going.
And when obstacles get in your way, your written plan
will help you to re-evaluate and get back on track.
Freud said that goals cause frustration and anxiety, and was
against the establishment of specific goals.
Victor Frankel, on the other hand, said that we cannot live without goals
because man's basic nature it to be goal-oriented.
As far as I am concerned, they were both right.
The biggest mistake that people make is aiming too high or accepting
too much too soon.
Now, I'm not saying that you can't have it all.
I'm merely suggesting that if you are going to
be a tennis champ, it might be a good idea to first learn how to hold the
racket and hit the ball across the net.
So goals are not promises, but commitments.
They are not wishes, but visions.
We do not hope our dreams are going to find us; we
find them.
Goals don't start in our brain; they start in our heart.
We are not going to be committed to our goal one hundred
percent until we are clear on the benefits.
This is probably the most important and significant step in goal setting.
If you are working in a job or you are in a relationship with
someone, or if you are expending any effort in your life and are not sure
of the benefits you will obtain, you will have great difficulty maintaining
the necessary enthusiasm, persistence and dedication.
When you are not sure of the benefits, it is very difficult
to dedicate yourself to something.
Goal setting helps you to specifically identify the benefits that
you will receive from the efforts you expend.
You will not be able to hold a high degree of commitment toward the accomplishment
of anything unless you are absolutely clear on the benefits.
As you progress in goal setting and begin handling harder and more
complex projects, it is essential that you understand why you want
to accomplish that specific goal.
Psychology teaches there are only two reasons for any of us to do
anything.
One is to gain benefits, and the other is to avoid
losses.
If you are clear on the benefits you will be willing to pay the price.
The critical difference between those who make it
and those who don't is desire.
Rewards create desire.
So spend a lot of time outlining benefits and rewards.
A goal can be defined as something that has an inherent or built in
reward upon its achievement.
If your goal has no inherent reward, you do not have a goal.
If your written plan does not clearly set the benefits
and the rewards that come upon the attainment of the goal, you will
miss the most important ingredient - a motivation to action.
No reward, no action.
You can solve any problem in life by saying what you want -
the specific end result.
As soon as you say what you want, the first thing that you are
going to experience is the feeling that it can't be done.
"I don't know how to do it.
I don't know how it is going to work.
I feel helpless.
Who is going to help me?
Where am I going to get the money?
What if this doesn't work?
What if I fail?"
This is your subconscious mind trying to protect you from an imaginary loss.
When you say you want to do something, everything unlike it will come up for you to evaluate
and defuse.
All your fears and doubts will surface.
If you will center your thoughts on what you want to happen, which is the goal, instead
of what you don't want to happen, which is the obstacle, you will overcome
this negative feedback.
The successful accomplishment of any task is
determined at the Being level prior to the actual beginning of the task.
In other words, believing that you can do it
before you do it.
We cannot sustain a mental image of a goal that is inconsistent
with our beliefs.
Be realistic about the possible obstacles and
roadblocks.
Ask yourself, "What circumstances or conditions may
prevent me from achieving this goal?"
Your answer to that will outline what you will have to overcome to obtain what
you want.
Some of the obstacles and roadblocks may be simple; some
may be more complex.
Many people do not do this because they think it is negative to
focus on obstacles and roadblocks, but it is important to understand that
you won't get where you are going until you know who or what is
standing in the way of your achieving your goal.
So write them down, and make a list as complete as possible.
Some of the obstacles will just take care of themselves without your attention.
The biggest mistake people make in goal setting, however, is to
gloss over roadblocks and obstacles that should be recognized before
they get started toward their goals.
You may not be aware of them all, but the more prepared you
are, the easier it will be to handle them.
As you complete this process, the natural tendency will be to
become a little discouraged, and perhaps you will lose some of your
enthusiasm.
You might start to focus on all the effort necessary to
overcome your obstacles and roadblocks.
If this happens, stop for a few moments and go back over the benefits.
Know that what you want is worth the obstacles that may have to be handle along
the way.
Know in your mind that you always have the choice to stop or
to continue with your plan.
You can change your mind at any time you want.
But for the moment the important thing is to GET STARTED!
Don't get locked up into the ultimate goal.
Just concentrate on the next step.
Take it one step at a time.
Most people become overwhelmed by the overall goal and give up.
Use the overall goal as a point of reference but concentrate on the
steps.
The one-step-at-a-time principle is important in achieving goals.
Even the largest goals are obtained one step at a time.
Once you are aware of the obstacles, you will find the awareness
alone will go a long way toward finding the solution, because knowledge
is power.
The solutions and cost of overcoming the obstacles will
become quite obvious.
For every obstacle there is a solution, and the
solution is always available because the answers are with us.
You do not have to look outside of yourself for the answer.
If you know this, you will be guided to the right person,
the right place, the right book or the right situation that
will help you to overcome yourobstacles.
Develop this belief system: "I know what I need to know."
You know what to do and you know how to do it because your Higher
Self or internal guidance system will guide you every step of the way.
All you have to do is be open, responsive and
receptive to the answers.
In doing so you will cease to see obstacles as limitations, because you
will know that who you are is greater than any obstacle.
When you combine your wants, benefits, obstacles and
solutions together in writing, you will gain a tremendous feeling
of power and excitement.
It will also help you to see that most of your
limitations are self-imposed.
Most people do not successfully implement goal setting because
they do not weigh up the benefits, rewards, obstacles, solutions and
costs.
If you will commit yourself to working through all of those steps,
you will stay on track.
And you won't get overwhelmed by the size or the
details necessary for your goal's achievement.
You will learn to keep your attention on the specific steps
that, when put together, will allow you to achieve the entire goal.
A primary factor in the successful use of goals is positive
feedback.
Without positive feedback you will not continue to use goals.
So always keep a list of the goals that you accomplish, including the
obstacles you have overcome along the way.
Buy a special notebook for this purpose and refer to it often.
As you complete your goals, file your written notes in your notebook and review
them periodically.
Keep adding to your list of accomplished goals.
Every time that you look at this list, you will gain further confidence
in your ability to obtain what you want through the process we've just discussed.
On the surface, this may seem like a lot of extra work and effort.
However, I can tell you it is a lot more work and effort to go through life
not having the things you really want.
Do not be fooled by the simplicity of this process and do not underestimate the
power behind it.
To do this would be to sabotage your own potential.
Writing your own script and following through with action is a habit that
will reward you for the rest of your life.
[ Subconscious Mind Power Law Of Attraction Brain Power ] [ Let Your Subconscious Mind
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