I just want to lay it all out in one video so... my road to IVF. November is
when I'm looking for having my egg retrieval
let's get those babies ladies (music) Hi Fertility Fam! How are you? aaah welcome back I'm
Tanika thanks for clicking on Simply Tanika if you're new here welcome let me
know what's going on with you where you are in your journey to bring home your
baby if you are returning welcome back so I wanted to talk to you guys today
about my road to IVF because I believe that's where I'm headed I want to talk
about work again where I think it will end and kind of some of the logistics
around it because a couple of you have reached out to me with questions about
my insurance and why I only want to do one so I just want to lay it all out in
one video so my idea first of all my journey to conceive all started last
year when I had a miscarriage in April and went to my first reproductive
endocrinologist in May and that doctor and I'll put a video here was not going
to entertain having or providing IVF services for me with my own eggs and so
that was kind of a deal breaker for me that was a deal breaker for her so you
know we moved on I went to my second army this year in 2018 in May April it
was when I first went to the new Ari and we discussed IVF she was open to it
it was I was 46 at the time it was just before my 47th birthday I subsequently
turned 47 and the week after I turned 47 I started a new cycle are called and the
doctor kind of backed off of me I'm EF with my own eggs and she wanted
to clarify that it would not increase my odds like I wouldn't have a greater
percentage of success with IVF with my own eggs versus IUI so she counseled me
that she suggested we tried a few rounds of IUI first so far we've done 2 - I you
eyes with fresh donor sperm and I had for iOS and my old clinic I'm
not gonna count those for a number of reasons if you clicked on the link that
I referenced earlier they just weren't done in the timing they weren't
optimized I'll just say that and I move on so I'm going to say I only have like
two legitimate IU eyes I have a meeting with the doctor it's scheduled for
August 20th to discuss my next steps at that point we will be discussing if it's
right for me to move forward with IVF when it's right for me to move forward
IVF I had met with her in June and we kind of went over the protocol of it you
know logistically like what it would be what it would entail that we would have
XE which is when they take one individual sperm and fertilize the egg
or they implant it into the egg an attempt to fertilize it it's not a
guarantee of fertilization so we kind of talked about that and then left it at
that I was in the middle of a cycle so we weren't sure if that one was gonna be
successful or not and obviously it wasn't that's why I'm here now talking
about my rode idea and so the next meeting is August 20th which by the time
you guys see this video it will have already happened but as I'm recording it
that meeting hasn't happened yet so what I want to get out of that meeting is if
I can't even forward idea up with my own eggs I would like to have at least one
more IUI so that I get three with the fresh sperm I would like to know exactly
what the protocol is if she has for me so that I can talk to a neurologist and
figure out what are the risk for me having one kidney what are the impacts
of the medication kind of get a sense of all of that what the timing would be
like like how much time am I gonna have to have off work all of the ins and outs
you know both medically lifestyle-wise everything that kind of goes into that
with an eye toward having the IVF egg retrieval portion of the idea
in November for a number of reasons just having the I UI having the month
off that the doctor has recommended before so that's what we discussed and I
met in June I would have to have one month unmedicated I'd have to have a
salience on a histogram before she would consider me fully eligible for IVF so
this is kind of like we're talking hypothetically right because we don't
even know if all those things are going to pass but let's just assume for the
sake of positivity my salines on histogram will be fine there will be no
polyps that the nephrologist will say there are no contract issues we're
taking any of this medication with only one kidney and that the doctor is
agreeable to me having ivf of my own X so all those things check check check
we're moving forward we have a green light November is when I'm looking for
having my egg retrieval I only plan to do the egg retrieval once maybe twice
and so that's what I want to talk to you guys about because I got a lot of
feedback like I have at least three however I would be paying out of pocket
for my IVF and here's where I want to talk about it because I think people get
confused with insurance of medicine so the insurance that I have through my
employer and it's the same the fertility benefits are not based on one specific
insurance provider because some of us we do if we have different providers that
we can select from like ours oh god it's Blue Cross its United health I think
it's I think there's one more so our fertility benefits all come through
United Health um our irrespective of what our main plan is and you have to
have a separate plan for fertility separate qualifications so you don't go
in or just use your regular insurance card so that's first and foremost you
have to be entered into the program you'll just select one reproductive
endocrinologist who is within what they call a center of excellence of Clee so
they give you a list and I'm in New York City they give you a list of who are the
people that are in the program who are considered part of the center of
excellence in New York City I do my due diligence and then I call them up and I
said go to this doctor they then prepare all
the paperwork they give me a card from you amar with that clinic on it I can
only go to that clinic the medication is handled separately so we have separate
what do you call it separate prescription insurance so having nothing
to do with the UM our insurance right ours is providing through CVS Caremark
they flip a little switch or click a little box and say this person is
approved for fertility treatments through the company once that box flips
then CVS Caremark is now authorized to provide fertility medication to me and
obviously pay Mike okay so some of the things I only can get
through the camera pharmacy like the Ovid ro the other things I can go to my
regular pharmacy Z chemist and pick up like the film era I also get my prenatal
through Z cameras which is $25 copay with the coupon without a coupon copay
is $80 crazy but that's what it is so all of my medication is under coverage
for my fertility benefits through a CVS Caremark whether or not I go to CVS I
don't have to it's the coverage right the the payment portion of it that's
covered through CBS whether that's I you I whether that's timed intercourse
medicated cycle whether that's IVF all of that the medication is covered
completely separate from the regular benefits the way the insurance is set up
for the fertility benefits the main part of the fertility benefits I am not
eligible for a fully paid by UI because of my age the insurance guidelines are
after 35 they do not recommend and I they will not pay for it after so I pay
out of pocket for that where I am now I paid 660 out of pocket just for the eye
to eye so all the medication has covered all of the screenings are covered so
ultrasound bloodwork all of that is covered there's nothing out of pocket
there I pay the 660 that includes the sperm washing and the actual injecting
of the sperm within me and there's a breakdown though I have a video where I
went through the breakdown the cost of it so I'll put that here if you haven't
seen it or if you're new um so that's kind of that with the eye to eye then we
go on to idea for just where I'm on the road to idea again it has to be with
this in her buckles it is covered up until the age of 55 0 through this
insurance the caveat is it is only covered up until age 44 with your own
eggs after 44 so 45 through 50 they will pay for 100% your idea with donor eggs
they will pay for the crowd has preservation of your embryos for one
year with donor eggs the whole process if you're under 40 for you use your own
eggs they will also pay for one year of cryopreservation stores they will keep
your babies on ice for a year at no cost to you that's all covered through the
play that's kind of it there are no two ways about it so I'm looking at if I do
IVF about $15,000 out-of-pocket per complete cycle so including and
retrieval and transplanted that's what I'm calling IVF if I have to do multiple
egg retrievals then I would just paint that portion of it and then if I have to
do multiple transfers I've made that portion of it if there is a transfer or
a retrieval and a transfer that's one for IVF cycle I'm only looking to do one
full IVF cycle I am paying for out-of-pocket now I'm
open to doing two retrievals yes
Sora the medicine scares me I'm not gonna lie
so it will depend on what the nephrologist says but I'm open to it at
this point based on everything that I know I could get more information where
I am you know a little hesitant about I'm not looking forward to the directing
myself I don't believe it's healthy from the beginning I wanted to go as natural
as possible given my circumstances as a single person so I'm not looking forward
to the IVF but if that is you know the last effort before I call it off then
that's what I did is I said from the beginning I want to look back without
regrets will I regret it more if I try or if I don't try and so right now the
answer is if I don't try out or regret it more I don't want to be in this
situation room like oh I'll regret it I've regretted trying and I think if I
financially bankrupt myself that's where I will be I know yeah yeah I mean I'm a
long way from bankruptcy but my point is I don't want to keep gambling with it I
know the odds are not in my favor I've been told I had a 1% chance on how much
money am I willing to invest how much am I willing to invest emotionally and with
work like there's just a lot at stake right like I'm trying to like not take
on more responsibility because I want to be pregnant and so there's like a fine
line of sacrifices that I'm making as a whole in order to pursue this I don't
have a luxury of saying once the baby's born I'm going to stay home for three
years and raise the baby like I still have to take care of it as a single
mother I am very blessed that my company will pay my full salary for six months
on the turn to leave and my job will be protected and then I have the option to
extend it beyond that on the vacation and reduce pay but the job is not
protected which is the most important thing so I've got to think about the big
picture of not just getting the Navy but being able to perfect ride a good life
for the baby that means having a health care provider
come to the home and take care of the child being able to afford to send the
child to school both primary and university like all those things have to
be accounted for and so I don't want to diminish my future child's quality of
life out of a selfishness just to have a child and so I've got to make sure all
my ducks in a row so that's kind of like my hesitation although I know a couple
of you guys have said your chances your specific chances have are increased
based on what your blood levels are and what your clinic has said there step
rates our success rates are that three is the lucky number and that by three
your chances of but three IVF is your chances of taking home a baby or eighty
five percent which is amazing I've not been given any information that the
second or the third time of IVF will increase my chances so I think I have to
weigh that in as well as I think about like how much you know how much more am
I willing to invest so so far I've been added I've done seven cycles so I've had
a total of six IUI I got four with donor frozen sperm and
then I've had the last two with a new clinic with fresh donor sperm and then I
had the one moments of an Asian back in October when I started my channel I was
I had a total of seven of some nations home and IUI together and so it's been
seven cycles it's been seven cycles after the six cycles when I was
technically considered infertile before we're going through this because I'm
single not necessarily because I had a fertility issue I have to weigh all of
that out and when you start out you're very hopeful you don't think it's gonna
take that long this many months later it's more than
seven months because they're so I had to take one off on my SH was high then I
took two off and transfer into the clinic so it's more than seven months in
total but seven active cycles I've been trying to continue and I'm headed into
my eighth um it's God willing I'm very blessed I've been able to afford this
journey so far but I also have to figure out like what the birthing point is and
as of now I don't have a dollar amount I put a time on it just because again I'm
putting my life on hold as far as my career and other things that are going
on in relationships so that was the bigger thing for me it was the time the
time and energy now it's time to look at the financial cost as well and financial
impact I try not to make a lot of decisions solely based on money just
because I don't think that's helpful personally if you do it no judgment um
but it has to be a factor right it can't be the sole factor but I have to
eventually factor it in just because eventually I'm going to run out of money
if I don't assess like how much I've spent or how much more I'm going to
spend and what I'm willing to not spend money on so that I can send spend it
there I don't have an infinite supply of money although I would like to but
that's not how it works and so yeah that's kind of like my road to IVF
hopefully that explains like the situation with the insurance because
some of you guys are like why don't you go to this city and why don't you go to
that city my insurance doesn't provide it once I go out-of-network I'm a
hundred percent self pay for medication for everything for fertility once I
leave a center of excellence that is designated by my insurance company I am
no longer covered for anything they're not gonna cover a fertility aspirin of
such thing exists I'm out of network 100% so that's just not an option for me
so yeah I would love you know to go to Mexico or go wherever else or go to
Spain or whoever else has like guaranteed success rates of women of my
age I'm just not willing to pay for a hundred percent out of pocket like to me
that make sense and then take time before
some people had suggested like taking an IVF vacation share
I knew my sister was getting married I have only four weeks of vacation plus
some other days like sick day is floating holidays regular olives but
like core vacation I have four weeks and so I knew I couldn't take two just to do
IVF because I was gonna be going back and forth to California and then I
worked a very stressful job I need telling myself like it can't be
all about fertility and then my time off is now a hundred percent facility
because I'm gonna buy me a vacation it's just not what I can do and I'm single
like I had a partner who was in it to win it with me and like going this extra
mile and going to the treatments with me and like oh I'll go away for two weeks
with you or I'll help you with your shots I think that's a different set up
I I don't have that and so I don't want to be stuck in a hotel room by myself
for two weeks going through IVF and stressing out bugging out is what I
would be doing so yeah I have never only certainly felt like I would do anything
to have a baby I will do things within reason with things that I'm comfortable
with which I hopefully you know I hope everyone else is taking that into
consideration as well like I don't think any of us want at the end of this day at
the end of it all to like have a baby and be angry all the things that we did
together baby or be homeless and broke and Carlos and jobless like I can't
imagine a scenario where that makes sense I'm not judging anyone I've got
your reality I just for me I can't I am older I'm comfortable I want to stay
comfortable so I yeah if that makes me a bad person or not with the baby bad
enough that's your conclusion so be it um I think we all have to do what's
right for us so I think we'd all have to do what's right for us I know we all
want our babies I know our babies are waiting for us I feel it I think each of
us feels it and that's why we keep going honestly
I feel like there are like deep down somewhere we feel it there's something
in our body that tells us it's going to happen and so I think we have to push
for that and I think that also supports like don't be desperate you know it what
you know what is destined is destined what is meant to be will be so I don't
think we have to make moves out of desperation oh I don't want to make
moves either desperation I don't want to feel desperate to have a baby I feel
like hopeful I'm willing to push the limits I feel like my baby is waiting
and that I will have it in my tummy soon so yeah that's what I'm hoping for so
I'll let you guys know how it goes when I meet with the Aria xx and what she
says and what the next steps are again I want to do when we're I you I will see
what she says it's obviously cheaper for me to do one more ioi than it is to do
IVF and if the rates are the same and then my donor is currently not working
so it's easier to kind of go and give a sample but then he could get a job and I
don't know how it's gonna work with IVF so I think I have to understand the
logistics as far as like will he be able to have time off luckily it's fairly
early in the morning um but we'll see we'll see and genesis was asking me
today about will you do pressure frozen so far the doctors recommended that
fresh is the best like it lives longer usually they will do frozen as a backup
if a man has a sperm count issue but we don't we're not working with that so I
will ask about that as well though just because of the timing issue it might
make sense to have something than ER and frozen um I'm sure there was an
additional cost or you know for me to pay for it to be cryo preserved I know
that the old clinic they would save it for like three months without a fee and
then before but I'm not disgusted with this clinic and so I have to
but yeah that's kind of what's going on my road to IVF God willing deemed
necessary so we'll see if you guys have any further questions about it please
let me know down below if you haven't subscribed yet please subscribe if
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I mean if there'll be more explanation when you see it on YouTube but it kind
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in your journey how I can help support you and any other questions you have
about me and my turn thank you so much for watching and for
sharing in my journey I appreciate you I wish you well and as always I'm sending
you loads of baby does I baby does to you
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