It's going to be one, two, three.
Hi, there.
Oh, hi there. Welcome to "Squad Wars."
This week on "Squad Wars."
We're here in Buena Park, California
at the world famous Pirate's Dinner Adventure Show.
Yarr.
Two extraordinary squads
will team up with The Try Guy,
that's one of us, to compete
in an action-packed pirate performance.
- Boom. - This shit is too much.
Rarr.
In the end, they will be judged
and only one will win
the most coveted reality show award ever,
The Tryphy.
Welcome to the show.
Let the swashbuckling begin.
♪♪
Welcome to "Squad Wars."
We are The Try Guys and for the last two years,
we've been making videos together all about trying stuff.
Ned and I will be your hosts today.
And because we didn't want our squads to go through it alone,
Keith and Zach will be teaming up with them.
Tell us about your squad, Zach.
My buccaneers for today are three of the fiercest
competitors ever to appear
on American Ninja Warrior.
They are Michelle Warnky,
Jessie Graff, and Ben Melick.
I feel like as ninjas, we're kind of prepared
to take on anything.
Crazy new challenges is one of our specialties.
I am looking forward to being
just as good as all of you today.
Um, I may need some help though.
I apologize in advance for Zach.
- Yeah. - Keith,
tell us about your squad.
My sexy land-loving mateys
are three of the top fan favorite designers
from Project Runway.
They are Nick Verreos,
Anthony Williams, and Bradon McDonald.
I think that as designers,
whatever the challenge will be,
we're gonna bring in some style.
Well, I do have a serious question.
Can I ask what you think of your competitors' outfits?
I don't even see the outfits.
I'm just staring at their bodies.
Work on your core.
Are you ready to hear about today's big Try?
- Yes. - Sure, go for it.
Well, maybe these two scurvy dogs
could shed some light on it.
[laughs]
Please tell me we're doing this.
That's right.
Just like these two pirates,
you will be performing an action-packed
pirate themed stunt show.
- Yes. - All in front
of a live audience.
Oh, my gosh.
[indistinct chatter]
Oh, dear.
♪♪
Oh my gosh.
This is right up our alley.
This is exactly what ninjas do.
The show will be filled with special effects,
death-defying aerial artistry,
and some rousing swordplay.
- Whoa. - Oh.
They're, like, performing, like, pirate stuff,
like fighting and like yelling.
Girl, it's gonna take a lot
for me to be that butch.
Oh, I most definitely will be a land ho.
Whoa.
[screams]
- Hell naw. - What?
We forfeit.
- Yeah, we're good. - No, no, it'll be fun.
- It'll be fun. - Congratulations.
- Congratulations. - Oh, no, keep going...
Ninja Squad. What did you think?
Awesome.
And I am equally as confident.
The Runway Squad is about to run away.
Listen, this is entertainment so you're not only judged
on the stunts and the swordplay but on the performance,
character, and entertainment value.
- Oh, well, we got this then. - Oh, we got that.
- Yeah, we got that. - Let's go.
We'll be judging you along with expert judge,
Martin Klebba, a professional stuntman.
And star of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies.
- Hmm, that's right. - He'll join us in studio later.
Okay. Now, before we jump into the Big Try,
we're gonna hit you broadside with a Mini Try.
♪♪
Can I get all hands on deck, please?
We'd be playing a pirate-themed trivia game.
Oh.
We only need three people to play.
Each team must select one member to sit out.
Pick your weakest link.
Pick your dumbest person.
I'm gonna be honest, I'm really bad at trivia
- and it's the truth. - I know some pirate stuff.
Yeah, she does know a whole lot about pirates.
Okay. And I love trivia.
- What do you got? - I'm gonna pass.
- Okay. Great. - Oh, no.
Can I have the castaways
step beside our pirates here?
The name of the game
is ye be trivia keelhaul.
Obviously we won't drag your teammate
under a moving ship.
- Thank you. - Yeah, that'd be drowning.
But anytime a squad gets an answer wrong,
your castaway will be doused with freezing water.
No.
The first squad to answer three questions correctly wins.
The losing squad will be saddled
with a penalty.
- Ooh. - You will have to deliver
a rousing monologue
- in your pirate performance. - Oh.
- Ooh. - Of their choice, like,
for mommy dearest or, like, just--
Oh, it will be a pirate monologue.
I think any of us speaking
for any extended length of time
in this pirate show is not gonna be a good idea.
All right, pirates,
take our castaways
and strap them in.
- Oh, man. - Oh, really?
- Oh. - Really.
I'm gonna keep mine on so I don't embarrass him.
That's right, Keith. You be a lady.
- Keep your clothes on. - Yeah, you be a lady.
Do you guys feel confident about your squad mates?
No.
Ninja Squad, when the pirates said the word "booty",
what were they referring to?
- Buzz. - You don't have to buzz.
- It's your turn. - Treasure?
- That is correct. - Yay.
You wanna know why it's called booty?
Because everyone wants to get it.
- Okay. - Uh-hmm.
- Runway Squad. - Yes.
- Yeah. - If you plundered a "doubloon",
- what would you have? - A doubloon,
- if you plunder-- - Plunder means to go under--
- Oh, wait, no, no, no, no, - --like, down.
It means--plunder means to rob.
- A coin. - Coin.
No, you plunder a coin?
- Yeah. - Go with your gut.
A coin.
- Correct. - Correct.
- Yay. - Oh, good.
- What was the answer? - I'd be real worried.
Ninja Squad, if you are "hornswoggling",
what are you doing?
If you hornswoggled, you, like,
you pulled one over on somebody.
I don't know, I feel like it's more violent than that.
- Or, like, rip someone off. - You have five seconds.
Uh, hornswoggled, rejected.
No.
It means to be cheated.
Oh, that's what we thought.
Oh, my gosh, we should've gone with the original.
Should've went with our gut.
- Sorry, Ben. - Whoa.
Right in the face.
If a pirate asked you to get him a "blunderbuss",
what would he be asking for?
- A gun. - Correct.
- Yes. - My boys, my boys.
Who starred as Elizabeth Swann
in the Pirates of the Caribbean movies?
Keira Knightley.
- That is correct. - Yay.
- Okay. - It's now tied up.
Whoever gets an answer correct first will win.
Who did the "truffle shuffle"
in The Goonies?
I didn't see it.
Babe, you're gonna get wet.
The answer is Chunk.
Oh.
What part of a pirate ship
is the "aft"?
The aft?
I think it's above deck.
Above deck.
- Wrong. - Oh.
The aft is the rear.
Edward Teach was better known
by what pirate name?
Blackbeard.
Yeah. That's what I think.
Okay. Blackbeard.
That is correct.
Yay.
- Yes. - That means Runway Squad
wins the Mini Try.
- Yeah. - Yay.
Ninja Squad, that means you have to do a monologue
somewhere in your show.
James and Curtis
are going to be your instructors for the Big Try.
Your training starts now.
- Team Pirate Ninja. - Yeah.
First thing we're gonna go over is how to throw
an easy punch, okay? So the pirates who work here
at the show are gonna be teaching us today.
It's like a sliding glass door,
how you would shut a door, right?
So here's your line and it's gonna go here.
They're gonna be teaching us stage combat,
walking us through the routine and assigning us roles.
And then at the end of the day, we're gonna have to perform it
by ourselves against them, we're gonna be fighting them.
All right, guys, the storyline is
we have kidnapped a damsel in distress.
This is a show, it's supposed to be about excitement
and unpredictability.
Yarr.
And hopefully none of us will be drowning.
You guys are gonna come and fight us
- and rescue said damsel, but-- - We're fighting you
to save a woman?
- Well, whoever the damsel is.
- Are you ready? - Yarr.
- Yarr. - Yes.
My squad most definitely is doomed.
I don't have any prior experience
to anything dealing with a pirate.
I've never slept with one, worked for one,
been in a Uber with one,
although I'm open.
Hey.
[shrieks]
[laughs]
To the face, same deal.
Ooh, nice.
Now, that's gonna leave me here
- and then from there... - Okay. Sorry.
All right, guys, I'm curious to know
as a pirate squad, like,
what is your angle as characters?
Just asking.
Is there any way to fight with grace and elegance?
Like, I'm not against just being fabulous pirates.
- Okay. We got to be-- - But we have to commit
to that amount of grandiose fighting.
Slow it down, take your time,
and make it more of a fantastic event,
that way we're also hiding the fact
that we don't know the choreography at all
with more glamour, so when you go to punch,
just [grunts]
Oh, I like that. I like the slowed down version.
We understand that the Ninja Warriors are flexible
and they are athletic,
however, we're going to rely on our major strengths,
elegance, poise, sophistication,
you know, things that you need
when competing for Miss America or Miss Universe.
Jessie and Michelle are gonna rescue the damsel
because, you know, feminism.
Ben and I are big old wimps because all men are wimps,
so we're gonna be firing the guns.
All right, guys, very simple.
These are real working flintlock pistols.
- I'm sorry, what? - Yeah, they're real.
- Don't shoot anyone. - You couldn't just get
like a Nerf gun and the pow-pow
- sound effects? - That would not be cool at all.
- Well... - When you are ready to fire
- Yes. - You raise it up in the air up
away from everyone else.
- Whoo. - Awesome.
So cock it?
- Yup. - Fire in the hole.
Whoo.
- All right. - That's loud.
I don't know, I think it's a pretty straightforward show.
Our first thing is the rope swing
and then the fight choreography is pretty straightforward.
And it is really fun that I get to be the one
to rescue the damsel in distress.
All right, squads, how are we doing?
- All right. - So far,
we have the physicality down, and we got to--
but we got to really sell the emotion.
- Yeah. - Right now, we're nailing the stunts
but if we don't nail the character,
we're dead in the water.
That was a pirate pun, kind of.
Who wants the monologue
that's your punishment
for losing the Mini challenge?
I kind of do.
It seems like you've got the choreography down.
Yeah, you got this?
I would like to learn to talk like a pirate.
Jessie.
Aye, aye, captain.
Aah, very good.
This is how I'm gonna do.
Hop, one little kick,
coming out,
in, and landing.
Out and back, got it?
I feel like I'm gonna [bleep] this up, man.
Boom, a little kick off the wall.
That's fine, too.
Jessie, you're a little too good at this.
And land. Very nice. Good job.
This is all fun and good, but what if I land in the water?
- He ain't gonna get me there. - I'll dive in and get you.
You will not land in the water.
Very good.
- Yeah. - And we're here.
- Whoa. - And we're back.
So you got to put your feet down.
Hey, you made it.
Just pull this to your chest.
I'm doing fine.
- Yeah. - Yeah, keep it up.
Again, I don't wanna jinx it,
but so far, I'm pulling this off.
Wee.
This is fun.
Pirates say "wee", right?
Wee.
[laughs]
- Yay. - Yay.
All right. That was fun.
As we're learning all these things,
Bradon is like kicking ass.
He's just kind of nailing everything.
So we choose Bradon to be the person
who saves the damsel
and somehow, we choose Nick and Anthony
to shoot the guns.
Couldn't have picked two worst people
for the most important job of the show.
Okay. Fire in the hole. Oh.
That shit is too much.
- All right. - You're cute.
Fire in the hole.
Firing.
Oh, no.
You did it.
Butch.
In your pirate voices,
introduce yourselves to us.
Aye, it's your boy,
Daggers [indistinct]
- Aye. - Yeah.
I'd be Captain Jessleberry Slash.
I am Michelle the Marauder.
And I am Captain Graystoke.
- That was good. That was good. - That was good.
A monologue is not something I'm really used to
and I think it's something that I'm gonna have
to focus a lot on today.
Yarr, pirate's life is good to be sure.
Pretty much just drilling my monologue over and over,
making sure that my accent
- sounds like an accent. - Yeah. Okay.
I don't really know what I'm doing.
We'll see if it's enough.
- Aye! - Aye, that hurts my ears.
- Aye. - Aye.
- Cuts my throat. - Now that we're hitting
the character part of it and the costuming,
things are starting to slow down a little bit.
We're having a little bit of trouble.
I've never worn anything with a cross on it.
I like scarfs for you. Let's see.
What do you--what do you think?
I'm nervous. This isn't just dinner.
It's dinner theater. We gotta bring the goods.
We gotta put on a show, the other team is not
gonna be wanting to look bad, you know, we're pirates.
- We're supposed to be dirty. - Aye.
If Jessie can nail this monologue,
if I can keep up with The Ninjas,
and if Ben can just please find an excuse
to take his shirt off during the show,
I think we're gonna be pretty okay.
Wardrobe.
Do they have earring?
I think there's nothing greater in this world
than to play dress-up.
That's good because it's long,
- it has such a long torso. - Yeah, it's a little curvy.
This is our realm. Come on, we're all designers.
We're gonna bring in some style.
- The straight hair. - They are all over the place.
They are real designers right now.
We're out of time. We have to do this
in front of the audience, anything can happen.
Nick and Anthony, they're really afraid of these guns.
And I get that. It's a real gun.
You know what? I don't know
how this performance is gonna go.
Come on, Runway pirates.
Arrr.
[crowd cheering]
Hello and welcome to the show.
Our first squad this evening,
they are fast,
they are strong,
they are agile,
give it up for The Ninja Squad.
[crowd cheering]
♪♪
Don't worry princess
I'll save you.
Get on.
Fire in the hole.
Fire. Fire.
That'll teach you to mess
with the pirate ninjas.
How are we feeling?
[crowd cheering]
I got the princess safe and sound.
♪♪
Sometimes I wonder,
is there more to life than gold doubloons,
hearty lads, and flowing rum?
Aye.
Now, fetch me a strapping lad
to fill me my [indistinct]
- Aye. - Arrr.
- [indistinct] - Aye.
- Aye. - Ahoy.
[crowd cheering]
Feminism.
[crowd cheering]
They're gonna face some fierce competition.
Please welcome,
the Runway Squad.
♪♪
Let's get them, boys.
♪♪
Oh, lassie, come to daddy.
- Pirates, bloody pirates. - Are you ready?
- I'm ready. - Hold on.
Arrr, I'm ready.
Enough of this. Let's get them.
Let's get them.
Fire.
Oh, wait, we weren't supposed to be scared.
Arrr.
Come on, girl.
Boom, boom, boom.
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
Yes, yes, yes.
Oh, yes.
Yeah. Oh, I got you.
Oh, damsel.
Damsel. Damsel.
Damsel, careful. We're putting her down.
[screams]
[laughter]
- How could you fall in? - It's okay. Are you okay?
Are you okay? Yarr. Yarr.
Yarr. Yarr.
Are you okay? Yarr.
[crowd cheering]
Yarr. Are you okay?
The damsel's fine.
Damsel's fine.
That must've been very traumatic
Let's give it up again
for the Runway Squad.
Up next is one of Eugene's favorite parts.
- The judging. - We shall leave the high seas
and go to the Squad Wars Studio.
[crowd cheering]
♪♪
Welcome to the Squad Wars Studio.
Some really great performances all around.
And I just wanna remind you
that before we get to the judging,
in my book, you're all winners.
But in my book and the Squad Wars book,
there will be a definitive winner
and a definitive loser.
To help us make that very real decision,
please welcome, one of the stars
of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies,
Martin Klebba.
Thanks, guys. I'm really happy to be here.
You do all of your own stunts.
Was there an especially crazy stunt you had to do?
I was on a ratchet and, uh,
I come up out of the floor with the big gun
and if I didn't hit my spot just right,
I could've lost my head because it would've
- taken it off, so. - That's just the type of danger
we put our squads through.
[laughter]
You will be judged on your pirate characters,
stunts, and the overall heart
and squad work you brought to the Big Try.
Ninjas, how do you think you did?
I think it looked good.
You could not tell that one of us
was not as good at things as the others.
I didn't [****] up, that's what I'm trying to say.
I really am pretty thrilled,
and so, this is a new thing for me.
But thank God, no one fell into the moat
- or anything like that. - Yeah.
- Objection. - Oh.
He is speaking in dissertation.
We can't even understand what the hell he is saying.
- I object. - No, he didn't.
- Runway Squad. - Yes?
What do you have to say for yourselves?
Well, I feel like...
When we saw the Ninja Warriors,
we were intimidated by their physicality.
We thought that, okay, we can't match that
but what do we have to offer?
- Um, style... - Beauty.
We wanted to just be a more character-driven pirate.
How did you fall on the water?
Were you wearing an eye patch?
- Two eye patches? - No.
We were technically walking across a plank
and he fell in the water.
That's what's supposed to happen.
Let's get the voting on the categories.
Oh, my God.
I am so proud of you, Eugene.
I'm never doing that again.
Let's start with the fight choreography.
- Ninja Squad. - I love drilling it
with the pirates.
It was just really fun to do.
I think we crushed it.
Yeah. Zach, you fired a gun.
Oh, it was thrilling.
We executed that and I know
that there were some left to be desired
- on the other side. - Nick and Anthony,
were you hesitant to fire the gun?
- Yes. - They still died, though.
Yeah, they did die.
Well, because what happens is,
once we shot the guns up, right--
- The bullet then went down. - --the bullet hit up, yeah.
- Yeah, exactly. - You guys took so long,
they actually died like a minute before you even fired.
I think people were on the edge of their seats waiting
to see what we were going to do constantly.
I think they were waiting to see what you're shooting.
Yes.
And you guys really committed
to trying to get that fight choreography down.
You really went in. But I'm ready to vote on it
and I think Ninja Squad did better.
[electronic dings]
Let's face it. They were better than you
in every way in this category.
No one's upset about that vote.
Ninja Squad is up one to zero.
Moving on to the next category.
Me personal favorite,
pirate character work.
- We took our time. - And we're more noble.
We want our hair to be perfect
before we fired the gun.
We posed, we had to flourish.
We were clearly over- accessorized in a great way.
But I think we came across a little more avant-garde
and polished.
Also, I grabbed those gold coins
not knowing what I was going to do with them.
- No. - And I found,
during the performance, the ability to make it
- rain on the dead pirates. - You said "Yarrs"?
Combining the common "Yas"
- with the classic "Yarr", so. - Yarrs, right.
- You made it rain doubloons. - I did.
Ninja Squad, you were going for more of a dirty approach.
Yeah. Pirates are dangerous, they're dirty.
We had a real female empowerment angle.
I could really feel the gender equal energy--
- Yeah. - --which was fresh on a pirate show.
- I was happy there were skirts. - So, Jessie,
you had the challenge of delivering a monologue.
It was actually a relief to have the monologue
because then I had something
to base my character around.
The characters that I personally related to more
had to be the Runway Squad.
- Oh. - Oh, finally.
It's hard to compete against two models
- strutting with a coin shower. - I agree with that.
- That was pretty funny. - I've gotta go
- with the Ninjas. - Yeah.
Ninja Squad, you guys were dirty.
Runway Squad, it's not called
a dinner adventure for nothing.
You guys took us on an adventure.
- Oh, come on. - Whoo.
- What? - It seems like
the pirate characters have gone to the Runway Squad.
- Whoo. - Which brings us--
- Yay. - --one to one
which doesn't matter at all.
We just like pressing buttons.
There is still the final category.
We will be judging on your overall heart
and squad work.
In private.
Squads, under your benches,
you will find noise- cancelling headphones
for each and every one of you,
you get a headphone and you get a headphone.
- Yay. - Put them on
so we can judge you.
The squads cannot hear anything we are saying.
Keith sucks.
- Zach sucks. - Zach sucks.
Great. All right.
Martin, Ned, let's discuss.
So technically, a lot of the things
that the Ninja Squad did were far superior.
I definitely felt like they sold it.
The Runway Squad, they came in with a severe disadvantage
because they don't have any sort of athletic backgrounds.
Considering that though, they put on,
what I think, it was a much funnier show.
It was certainly very entertaining.
Yeah. How did the individual members
work together as a squad?
The Ninja Squad just were totally
on the same page the entire time.
And Jessie really stepped up with that monologue.
Jessie kind of stole the show, with the Runway Squad,
everyone had a moment to shine
and it seemed like they were really on the same page
as entertainers, not just as stunt performers.
If you were casting a future installment
of Pirates of the Caribbean,
which squad would you pick?
- It's tough, right? - Yeah, it is.
- I mean, they got more Jack Sparrows
- on this side, right? - You would cast
the Runway Squad as the actors
and then have the Ninjas come in
- to do their stunts. - Yeah, exactly.
It's a really tough decision, but I think we can all agree.
There's one squad that deserves that Tryphy.
Uh-hmm.
Okay. Let's tell the squads.
Squads, please remove your noise-canceling headphones.
- Hello? - Hello?
- Hello? - Remove them.
- Damn. - Oh.
- That was torture. - Ninja Squad,
you guys are clearly incredible athletes
and you brought that to the stunts
and the fight choreography.
You transformed into pirates.
Yarr.
And Runway Squad, um,
most of you failed
at most of the stunt work.
But your performance and characters
were truly memorable.
Now, the winner will be awarded
the most coveted,
highly-reputed trophy
in all of reality television ever,
the Tryphy.
- Wow. - Wow.
Oh, my God.
But not to leave the losers empty-handed,
they will be receiving tickets
to tonight's Beyonce concert.
- What? - What?
Which is, unfortunately,
in East Rutherford, New Jersey.
You'll never get there in time.
...we're not gonna fly you there either.
And now,
the winner
of "Squad Wars..."
[drumroll]
is...
[drumroll]
Really, really good grip.
♪♪
- The Runway Squad. - The Runway Squad.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
[indistinct chatter]
Look at that.
Oh, you're welcome.
Now, the Ninja Squad,
continue to represent athletes
who are at the top of their game
and really were better in every single way,
except the underdogs brought the heart.
And it's our show, so we had to award it to them.
Thank you so much to both of our squads.
That's it for this week's "Squad Wars."
Join us next week or right now
if you're binge watching, we don't know.
This is the internet. Goodnight.
[grunts]
Right, I know.
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