Yt News today: Youtube daily report May 20 2017

THE ROYAL SOCIETY FOR PUBLIC HEALTH AND YOUNG HEALTH

MOVEMENT IN A SURVEY OF AROUND 1500 YOUNG INDIVIDUALS TO SEE

WHAT KIND OF IMPACT SOCIAL MEDIA HAS HAD ON THEIR MENTAL HEALTH.

THERE IS MOUNTING RESEARCH AND EVIDENCE INDICATING THAT

SOCIAL MEDIA WHILE IT DOES HAVE ITS UPSIDES DOES ALSO HAVE

SIGNIFICANT DOWNSIDES WHEN IT COMES TO MENTAL HEALTH.

WHAT THEY FOUND THROUGH THESE SURVEYS AND AGAIN, THEY TALK TO

1500 PEOPLE BETWEEN THE AGES OF 14 AND 24 WAS THAT YES, HE

CAN ACTUALLY AFFECT YOUR MENTAL HEALTH AND A LOT OF NEGATIVE

WAYS INCLUDING INCREASING ANXIETY AND BODY IMAGE ISSUES.

INSTAGRAM HAS THE MOST NEGATIVE IMPACT ON YOUNG PEOPLE'S

WELL-BEING.

DEEPENING YOUNG PEOPLE'S FEELINGS OF INADEQUACY AND

ANXIETY.

SNAPSHOT, FACEBOOK, AND TWITTER OUT ALSO HARMFUL.

AMONG THE FIVE ONLY YOUTUBE WAS JUST HAVE A POSITIVE EFFECT.

IT'S FUNNY, WEIRDLY PROUD OF YOU TOO.

MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE WE STARTED ON YOUTUBE, WHERE THE OLDEST

PARTNER WITH YOUTUBE AND IT HAS BEEN GOOD TO US.

SAW THAT AND I WAS LIKE GOOD FOR YOU, YOUTUBE.

PUTTING THAT BIAS ASIDE WHICH I AM NOW DECLARING, OBVIOUSLY

OPENLY, I GET WIDE-EYED ON YOUTUBE, A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE

TALKING ABOUT THEIR EXPERIENCES AND TELLING YOU THAT THINGS ARE

GOING TO BE OKAY.

YOU THINK YOU ARE NORMAL BUT YOU ARE NOT THAT EVERYBODY GOES

THROUGH AND WE FEEL YOUR PAIN.

THERE IS ALL THAT AND THERE'S A COMMUNITY THAT COMES AROUND

THEM.

THERE IS HEALING.

WHEREAS ON INSTAGRAM THERE'S A LOT OF POSING DUCK LIKE

THERE'S A LOT OF PEOPLE FLINGING PROTEIN SHAKES IN BIKINIS

AND MAKING IT SEEM AS THOUGH THEIR LIVES ARE PERFECT.

A LOT OF WOMEN WHO HAD A BABY LAST WEEK AND THEY HAVE A SIX

PACK MIRACULOUSLY AND THE THING IS, ALL THOSE IMAGES ARE

MANIPULATED AND A LOT OF YOUNG PEOPLE DON'T REALIZE IT SO

INSTAGRAM, I LOVE INSTAGRAM.

ITíS MY FAVORITE ABSOLUTE

FAVORITE FORM ON A SOCIAL MEDIA THAT YOU SHOULD FOLLOW ME.

ANA KASPARIAN OFFICIAL.

NOT A BIG DEAL.

IT'S KIND OF LIKE THE NEW VERSION OF MAGAZINE STOP BEFORE

YOUNG GIRLS LOOK AT MAGAZINES AND THEY WOULD SEE ALL OF THESE

AIRBRUSHED MANIPULATED IMAGES AND THINK THAT IT WAS REAL AND I

THINK NOW IT'S KIND OF SHIFTED OVER TO SOCIAL MEDIA AND

THE EXACT SAME THING HAPPENS THERE TOO.

DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPE.

I SAW A SQUIRREL WITH A SIXPACK THE OTHER DAY ON INSTAGRAM.

IT DOESN'T MEAN IT'S TRUE THAT I'M GOING TO USE ANOTHER

BEN LINE HERE.

YOU KNOW THE OLD CLICH…

LINE A PICTUREíS WORTH 1000

WORDS.

BEN SAYS IT'S NOT TRUE, PICTURES ARE LIES.

THERE'S A LOT OF TRUTH TO WHAT BEN IS SAYING BECAUSE ONE, FIRST

OF ALL THE FILTERS AND THEN THE PHOTOSHOP, BUT EVEN MORE

IMPORTANT ON A MACRO SCALE BECAUSE BEN IS BEEN SAYING

THAT FOR A LONG TIME WELL BEFORE INSTAGRAM, IT ONLY GIVES

YOU A SNAPSHOT IN TIME.

THAT PERSON LOOKS HAPPY THERE, THEY LOOK LIKE THEY'RE

HAVING A GREAT TIME BUT YOU DON'T KNOW THE REST OF THEIR

LIVES AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHETHER THEY ARE DEPRESSED OR NOT.

THERE IS NO CONTEXT.

EVERYBODY LOOKS ECSTATIC ON INSTAGRAM AND LIKE THEY'RE

HAVING A WONDERFUL LIFE.

MAYBE SNAPSHOT TWO BECAUSE IT'S SHORTER AND IT'S FUNNY AND

QUICK.

BUT ON YOUTUBE, IT'S A LITTLE BIT LONGER AND SO YOU ACTUALLY

GET TO HAVE SOME INTERACTION AND GO OH, TURNS OUT EVERYBODY IS

BUMMED EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE AND PEOPLE GET PICKED ON AND WE

CAN BE OKAY.

I WOULD ALSO ADD THAT THE WAY IN WHICH PEOPLE CRITIQUE

OTHER PEOPLE AND INSTAGRAM THE COMMENTS ALSO CONTRIBUTES

TO THE SELF IMAGE ISSUES.

YOU CAN POST A PICTURE, IT'S PUBLIC, ANYONE CAN SAY ANYTHING

SO THAT ALSO AFFECTS PEOPLE'S SELF, CONFLICT AND I WOULD

EXTEND THIS AGE GROUP AND I KNOW IT'S 4224

BUT I WOULD IMAGINE THAT PEOPLE MOST OF MUCH OLDER ALSO

HAVE TO CONFRONT THESE KIND OF PERSONAL SELF-IMAGE ISSUES

BECAUSE OF WHAT WE SEE ON INSTAGRAM.

IT'S NOT JUST SELF-IMAGE ISSUES TO THAT IS ALSO BULLYING.

WE HAVEN'T EVEN MENTIONED 20 AT.

IN A LOT OF WAYS I LOVE TWITTER AND IN A LOT OF WAYS THAT

THE EXCESS POOL.

THERE IS CRYPTOSPORIDIUM IN THEIR.

WE'RE ALL GROWN-UPS AND WE GET IT A LOT BUT I AM A GROWN

MAN I CAN TAKE IT.

BUT IF YOU'RE 15

YEARS OLD AND ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU'RE GETTING THIS

INCREDIBLE HATRED ONLINE THAT COULD REALLY DO SOME DAMAGE.

BY THE WAY, THE OTHER THING IS AS MUCH A SOCIAL MEDIA AND

OTHER PEOPLE BEHIND THE SOCIAL MEDIA.

CAN WE JUST ALL OF US ACT SLIGHTLY MORE DECENTLY TO

ONE ANOTHER?

IS THAT POSSIBLE?

AGAIN, SOCIAL MEDIA LIES AND UNFORTUNATELY

BECAUSE WHAT IT DOES IS ON TWITTER YOU HAVE, YOU ARE

ANONYMOUS.

ONCE YOU GET TO HIDE BEHIND A MASK, LORD OF THE FLIES COMES

OUT AND ALL THE SUDDEN OUR WORSE NATURES COME OUT.

IT IS A COMBINATION OF THOSE THINGS BUT I CAN SEE WHY IT

IS CAUSING AWAY SOME TROUBLING YOU HAVE TO WATCH OUT FOR.

DON'T GET ME WRONG.

I'M NOT IN THE CAMP OF THEN WE HAVE TO SHUT IT DOWN OR

GIVE UNBELIEVABLE WARNINGS BUT HEY, EVERYBODY BE COOL.

CAN WE JUST START TO BE COLD FOR A SECOND?

AND ALSO JUST HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH YOUR KIDS

AND LET THEM KNOW.

THIS IS NOT REALITY.

WHAT YOU STAND SOCIAL MEDIA IS JUST A MANIPULATION OF

REALITY AND JUST TAKE IT WITH A

GRAIN OF SALT.

For more infomation >> How Facebook And Twitter Impact You Mental Health - Duration: 5:58.

-------------------------------------------

Philipp Lahm: A Remarkable Football Career - Duration: 10:06.

I think he's had a career that he never dreamt of having

when he first became a professional player.

A top, top, top player and a top guy is leaving the team.

Philipp is an absolute legend of this amazing club.

He is and was a fantastic professional, a strong character, fantastic quality, a really humble man.

Philipp Lahm's unique career began at FT Gern when he was 4 years old.

I live there

or rather my parents still live there.

I grew up at the club.

At the age of 11, Munich-born Philipp moved to FCB.

Bayern were very clever in making me be a ballboy at the Olympiastadion

in front of 63,000 spectators.

They set out the bait and I bit.

And Lahm got his teeth stuck into life as a youth and amateur player

at the record champions – under a very special coach. He was the best player

I had had at that point.

There was no better player aged 17.

I still remember that Hermann Gerland fought very hard for him

He hassled Ottmar day and night, insisting: "Ottmar, you have to let him train

with the first team

You have to give him a chance.

He ticks every box you can think of to be a player at Bayern Munich.

Now a youngster is coming on for FC Bayern, he turned 19

19 on Monday the 11th of November. A defender, a good man, a man for the future -

Philipp Lahm.

Nothing was at stake, it was the last group game in the Champions League, Bayern were already eliminated.

It was really cold in the Olympiastadion, but for me it was a dream, my first time,

even if I was only on for 3 minutes.

Hermann came to me and said: 'You have to send Lahm out on loan, he has to play.'

So then we loaned him to Stuttgart for two years.

II had to send him away, I had to give him up. It would have been a waste

to have Philipp Lahm playing another year in the third division.

On his Bundesliga debut in Stuttgart colours in August 2003,

Lahm made an instant impact, playing his part in the goal which put his team 2-0 up against Rostock

while also having a chance to score himself. Lahm developed at a frightening speed.

After a few months, he made his Germany debut

He wasn't just a key player for his club, but an international and was well on track.

It was very good for him to be loaned to Stuttgart, because he grew there;

he became a man.

It was clear that after two years, after the loan, he'd return and play for FC Bayern München.

In November 2005, Lahm made his Bundesliga debut for FCB against Bielefeld

He started and played the whole match. Philipp had really arrived, and with brute force.

Lahm quickly became a player Bayern simply couldn't do without.

He netted his first goal in a competitive game for FCB in August 2006

away against Bochum. His first and only brace in a competitive match came in October 2014,

in a league game at home to Werder Bremen.

He lifted his first Bundesliga title in his very first campaign for Bayern

– the 2005/06 season. Becoming champions of Germany for the first time

was very special.

It was my first major trophy so it was certainly a huge moment.

Many more titles were to come. In total, Lahm has won the Bundesliga 8 times,

the DFB-Pokal 6 times and has amassed every international trophy possible with Bayern: the 2013 Champions League

and the UEFA Super Cup, as well as the FIFA Club World Cup were all won with Lahm as captain.

A cup encounter against Aachen in January 2011 was the first time he led out FCB wearing the captain's armband.

He is actually, I have to say, almost the perfect captain.

He's a home-grown player, Bavarian, from Munich even.

He's a very intelligent man and it's fun talking

about football with him.

Standing a modest 1.7 meters tall, the local boy is a giant in the history of German football.

With 113 caps to his name, he was the captain of the national team for a number of years

while also playing the role of Joachim Löw's right-hand man as he led German

to World Cup glory in 2014 – a crowning moment. He retired from international football the day

after this momentous triumph, but it was a win he had practised back at home years before…

Andi Brehme. 1990, the World Cup final.

He shot in the bottom right.

Right there!

Philipp Lahm, from FT Gern to the world's biggest footballing stages,

now leaves a terrific career behind him. He's a man of the world - a representative

for Germany and FC Bayern. Above all, however, Philipp Lahm is a world-class footballer,

who now deservedly enjoys legend status at FC Bayern.

The captain of the treble-winning team of 2013, with over 500 competitive appearances for FCB.

In his position, he is still one of the best three defenders in the world today.

He was an absolutely world-class player and right back, and still is.

The way he gets up and down the touchline, back and forth, back and forth,

and still plays superb football.

Bravo!

Philipp has distinguished himself through his incredible willpower.

There aren't many people who can lead a team as well as

Philipp Lahm.

He's had a picture-perfect career.

What he's done for German football and FC Bayern München -

you can only take your hat off to him!

In Philipp Lahm, an extraordinary leader and an absolute team player

at FC Bayern is bowing out. We've always been on the same wavelength

Ob beim Karten spielen oder sonst wo.

Auf dem Fußballplatz haben wir dann auch ne Zeit lang auf der gleichen Seite gespielt,

whether it was playing cards or anything else.

On the pitch, we've played on the same side for a long time – for the national team and Bayern. That means we have a special connection.

I've been by his side for many years and learnt from him.

I think we've always had a good relationship and had a lot of fun together.

I hope that he'll get so bored that by October he says:

'Okay, time to put the boots back on.' Then from January next year, maybe he'll join us

for the training camp.

14 and a half years of professional football, but now the captain has played his final season.

Personally, I'm very sad that he's decided to end his career now,

because Bayern will miss him.

He was always an important person to talk to for me.

We always had a great relationship based on trust.

I'll miss him not only as a player,

but also as a person I trusted,

that I enjoyed speaking with.

Philipp has an unbelievable career behind him and in my opinion,

he's ending a world-class career too soon.

I think the fans will miss him, not just me, the staff and the club.

The fans will also miss him.

Philipp Lahm – Munich through and through, Mia San Mia personified.

That's my hometown, and why I love it!

A giant of word football is saying goodbye. All FC Bayern can say is, thank you, Philipp.

For more infomation >> Philipp Lahm: A Remarkable Football Career - Duration: 10:06.

-------------------------------------------

Demetri Martin Shares His Early Comedy Drawings - Duration: 6:48.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,

EVERYBODY.

MY NEXT GUEST IS A COMEDIAN WHO WROTE, DIRECTED, AND STARS IN

THE NEW MOVIE "DEAN."

>> I CAN'T LIVER THERE.

IT'S RIDICULOUS.

IT MAKES NO SENSE FOR ME TO STAY THERE.

IT'S TOO BIG?

>> IT'S TOO BIG?

>> YEAH.

>> COULD YOU JUST, LIKE, NOT USE ALL THE ROOMS OR SOMETHING.

MAYBE YOU COULD, LIKE, I DON'T KNOW, COVER UP THE FURNITURE

WITH SHEETS, DON'T GO IN THERE.

>> LIKE I'M A COUNTESS?

>> I DON'T KNOW.

I THINK THIS IS HASTY.

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS.

I GREW UP THERE.

I DON'T WANT TO SELL OUR HOUSE.

>> DEAN, IT ( MUSIC PLAYING )

OH, MY GOD!

THAT'S MY PHONE.

SORRY.

HERE WE GO.

I'M-- I'M-- I CAN'T TALK NOW.

I'M WITH MY SON.

YOU SEE, I'M BUSY.

>> IT CAN'T SEE YOU.

IT'S MORE OF A VOICE THING.

>> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME DEMETRI MARTIN.

♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )

>> Stephen: HEY.

>> HOW ARE YOU?

>> Stephen: GOOD, NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

>> THANKS FOR HAVING ME.

>> Stephen: IT'S BEEN A WHITE WHOOIL BURNGHT PEOPLE MAY NOT

KNOW THIS THAT YOU AND I WERE BOTH CORRESPONDENTS ON "THE

DAILY SHOW.

OF.

>> YES, ONE OF US WAS MORE SUCCESSFUL AT IT, BUT WE WERE

BOTH.

>> Stephen: JUST LONGER.

WHEN DID YOU FIRST START THERE?

>> I STARTED THERE AS AN INTERN.

I THINK IT WAS, LIKE, '97.

>> Stephen: THAT'S WHEN I-- >> YEAH --

>> Stephen: SO THAT WAS BACK IN THE CRAIG KILBURN DAYS.

>> I THINK A COUPLE OF MONTHS BEFORE YOU STARTED.

I'M NOT PULLING RANK OR ANYTHING BUT I HAVE SENIORITY --

>> Stephen: YOU UNDERSTAND.

YOU COME BEFORE ME IN THE LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOG.

>> I'M SORRY, I COULDN'T MAKE IT TO THE REUNION.

>> Stephen: SORRY, YEAH, NO PROBLEM.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

I HEARD YOU DROPPED OUT OF LAW SCHOOL TO BE A PERFORMER.

>> YES.

>> Stephen: WHY DID YOU DO THAT?

>> I WAS FEELING LIKE MY FAMILY WAS GETTING KIND OF PROUD OF ME

AND, LIKE, A LITTLE CLOSE TO BEING PROUD OF ME.

AND I WAS LIKE...

>> Stephen: LAW SCHOOL, THAT WOULD HAVE MADE THEM PROUD?

>> YEAH, SO I THOUGHT, COMEDIAN, THAT SHOULD FIX THINGS.

( LAUGHTER ).

>> Stephen: DID THEY WORRY?

DID THEY WORRY, LIKE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE?

>> YEAH, YEAH.

PEOPLE WERE REALLY DISAPPOINTED.

( LAUGHTER ) IT'S KIND OF FREEDOM, THOUGH.

I THINK DISAPPROVAL IS KIND OF FREEDOM IN A WAY.

ONCE YOU DISAPPOINT PEOPLE, YOU CAN KIND OF DO ANYTHING-- YOU

WANT TO BE A DANCER, A POET.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

>> Stephen: SURE, BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS A STEP UP.

>> I THINK SO -- >> Stephen: FROM COMEDIAN,

EVERYTHING IS A STEP UP.

>> THAT'S TRUE, THAT'S TRUE.

>> Stephen: YOU'RE FAMOUS FOR SHORT JOKES.

>> YES.

>> Stephen: SIMPLE, SHOT JOKES.

>> THAT'S A KIND WORD "FAMOUS."

I TELL SHORT JOKES.

>> Stephen: YOU'RE RENOWNED FOR IT.

>> I'M TAIG THAT.

>> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE SHORTEST JOKE.

>> HENNY YOUNGMAN FAMOUSLY DID, "TAKE MY WIFE, PLEASE."

THAT'S FOUR WORDS.

THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.

RIGHT?

OKAY, GOOD.

I DON'T HAVE-- I TRIED TO WRITE A FOUR-WORD JOKE, AND IT

DOESN'T-- IT DOESN'T REALLY WORK SO I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T SAY IT

ON TV BUT THIS IS THE BEST I HAVE OF A FOUR-WORD JOKE--

CANNIBALS MAKE ME DINNER.

>> Stephen: THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.

THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.

>> THANK YOU.

( APPLAUSE ) THAT'S WHAT I NEED.

YEAH, THANKS.

I'M NOT SAYING THAT'S A GREAT JOKE, BUT --

>> Stephen: YOU'RE ALSO KNOWN FOR YOUR DRAWINGS.

>> YES.

>> Stephen: ARE THESE IN A PARTICULAR ORDER.

>> YEAH, THESE ARE STESKLY-- I WORKED THIS OUT.

THIS WILL MINIMIZE AWKWARD SILENCE.

>> Stephen: I LIKE AWKWARD SILENCE, THOUGH.

>> YEAH, THAT'S WHERE I LIVE, SO THAT'S OKAY.

( LAUGHTER ) THIS IS-- WHAT I LIKE ABOUT

DRAWINGS IS YOU CAN DO JOKES WITH JUST-- WITH NO WORDS

SOMETIMES OR JUST, LIKE, A SHAPE OR SOMETHING.

THIS WAS MY FIRST KIND OF COMEDY DRAWING I DID YEARS AGO.

AND THIS IS-- I CALL THIS CINNAMON ROLL OR DOG (BLEEP).

IF YOU LOOK AT THAT, IT'S KIND OF A P.O.V. THING.

>> Stephen: IT'S UP TO YOU.

KIND OF A GLASS HALF EMPTY.

I'LL TAKE THAT.

>> SO THE LETTER "M."

WHEN I STARTED DRAWING, I STARTED TO NOTICE, YOU KNOW, YOU

SEE THINGS THAT MAYBE YOU DIDN'T SEE BEFORE.

THE LETTER "M," I NEVER HAD TROUBLE WITH THE LETTER "M."

IT'S FINE.

BUT DITHINK ABOUT IT, AND I FELT LIKE THERE WAS AN EMOTIONAL

FEELING I GOT FROM AN "M," KIND OF UNEASY.

>> AND DIDN'T KNOW WHY.

BUT THEN I REALIZED WHAT IT WAS, AND THE "M" KIND OF HAS AN

AGGRESSION TO IT.

IT LOOKS LIKE-- YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, KIND OF A GUY'S CROTCH.

SPREAD EAG GLEL OR WELCOMING.

>> THE "W" IS EVEN WORSE, I SAY.

BECAUSE IT'S KIND OF A FACE PLANT, BONY ASS KIND OF THING.

YOU CAN ALSO EXPLORE INFORMATION WITH DRAWINGS, DATA.

THIS IS A BAR GRAPH.

SO THIS WOULD BE HOW INTERESTING YOU FIND YOUR CHILDREN.

AND THIS IS HOW INTERESTING I I FIND YOUR CHILDREN.

( APPLAUSE ) YOU CAN SEE IT'S KIND OF-- AS IT

SHOULD BE.

IT SHOULDN'T BE THE OPPOSITE, IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT.

>> Stephen: THAT'S TRUE, THAT'S TRUE.

>> THIS IS A LITTLE MORE ELABORATE.

THIS IS PRAYING.

THIS IS HOW MUCH PEOPLE PRAY BASED ON THE LOCATION THEY'RE

IN.

IN CHURCH PEOPLE PLAY A PRETTY GOOD AMOUNT.

IN A LOCKER ROOM BEFORE A CHAMPIONSHIP GAME.

IN COURT.

KNEELING BEFORE THE TOILET IS OFF THE CHARTS.

THAT'S WHERE PEOPLE PRAY THE MOST.

AND IN A JACUZZI, VERY LITTLE.

PEOPLE DON'T LOOK FOR GOD.

THIS IS THINGS THAT PRAY.

THIS IS PEOPLE AND MANTISES.

SO IT'S CEEND OF A TIE.

( LAUGHTER ) THIS IS KIND OF COOL.

THIS IS A DRAWING OF SKULL AND CROSSBONES WHEN HE WAS STILL

ALIVE.

SO THIS IS BEFORE-- ( LAUGHTER )

KIND OF LIKE A-- ( APPLAUSE )

ALL RIGHT, COOL.

>> Stephen: HAPPIER DAYS.

>> WE'RE GROWN MEN AND WE'RE DOING THIS.

OKAY, HERE WE GO.

SO THIS IS-- I THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE A GOOD SIGN FOR A STRIP

CLUB DURING THE DAY TIME.

"SORRY, WE'RE CLOTHED."

( LAUGHTER ).

>> Stephen: THAT'S A THREE-WORD JOKE RIGHT THERE.

>> SO FINALLY, THIS IS KIND OF SOME MORE INFORMATION HERE.

SO PETS, IT'S INTERESTING TO ME, IF YOU HAVE ONE PET, THAT'S

OKAY.

YOU HAVE A PET, GREAT.

YOU'RE LIVING WITH AN ANIMAL GREAT.

YOU HAVE FOUR, I THINK YOU'RE KIND OF DESPERATE ONCE YOU GET

TO FOUR PETS.

32, YOU'RE CRAZY.

I THINK WITH 32 ANIMALS THAT'S A CRAZY PERSON.

WHAT'S INTERESTING IS TEETH ARE THE DIRECT OPPOSITE.

32 OKAY.

1 CRAZY.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: THERE IT IS.

>> THANKS, STEPHEN.

>> Stephen: "DEAN" OPENS JUNE 2.

DEMETRI MARTIN, EVERYBODY.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH PAULA POUNDSTONE.

For more infomation >> Demetri Martin Shares His Early Comedy Drawings - Duration: 6:48.

-------------------------------------------

Trump Packs A Suitcase For His First Foreign Trip - Duration: 1:01.

Captioning sponsored by CBS >> PRESIDENT TRUMP WILL HAVE A

MUCH-NEEDED BREAK FROM THE DOMESTIC CONTROVERSIES.

THAT COULD COME TOMORROW.

HE HEADS FOR HIS FIRST FOREIGN TRIP, HIS FIRST MARINE OVERSEAS

TRIP SINCE ENTERING THE WHITE HOUSE.

( "HAIL TO THE CHIEF" ) ( LAUGHTER )

( LAUGHTER )

>> IT'S "THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT."

For more infomation >> Trump Packs A Suitcase For His First Foreign Trip - Duration: 1:01.

-------------------------------------------

Jennifer Garner Uses Her Endorsing Skills For 'The Late Show' - Duration: 10:21.

WELCOME BACK, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

I'M AWFULLY EXCITED.

MY FIRST GUEST IS THE GOLDEN GLOBE WINNING ACTOR YOU KNOW

FROM "ALIAS" AND I KNOW AS AN EXTREMELY RELIABLE BABYSITTER.

SHE NOW STARS IN THE FILM, "WAKEFIELD."

PLEASE WELCOME JENNIFER GARNER!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: IT'S SO NICE TO

HAVE YOU HERE.

>> THANK YOU.

>> Stephen: I HAVE WANTED TO SIT ACROSS A DESK FROM YOU FOR

SO LONG.

>> I KNOW.

IT REALLY HAS BEEN A LONG TIME.

>> Stephen: WELL, LET'S QUICKLY TELL THE PEOPLE HERE HOW

WE KNOW EACH OTHER.

>> YES I'M SURE THEY REMEMBER.

>> Stephen: SURE, YOU MUST REMEMBER--

>> I'M SURE YOU GUYS MUST REMEMBER-- WE WERE BOTH GUEST

STARS IN AN EPISODE OF "SPIN CITY."

YOU ALL SAW IT, RIGHT?

>> Stephen: 1996, SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

>> 1996.

>> Stephen: 1996, BACK WHEN "SPIN CITY" WAS ROCKING.

>> IT WAS.

IT WAS A BIG DEAL.

I WAS A CAT LADY -- >> Stephen: YOU WERE THE

GIRLFRIEND OF ONE OF THE CAST MEMBERS.

>> AND WHO WERE YOU?

YOU WORE A SUIT GLIFS LIKE THE GOVERNOR'S ASSISTANT OR

SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

>> AND I HAD MAYBE 10 LINES IN THE EPISODE AND YOU HAD --

>> Stephen: TWO.

>> TWO!

RIGHT HERE, RIGHT HERE, BABY.

>> Stephen: YOU WERE THE BIG STAR.

>> RIGHT.

>> Stephen: SO AT THE WRAP PARTY WHEN THE WHOLE THING IS

OVER, FOR THAT WEEK'S EPISODE, YOU SAID, "WELL, I'M OUT OF A

JOB."

AND I SAID,"I'M OUT OF A JOB, TOO."

AND I SAID, "AND I HAVE A BABY."

AND YOU SAID...

>> I BABY SIT.

>> Stephen: SO YOU STARTED BABY-SITTING.

>> SEE HOW IT WENT.

>> Stephen: FOR ME AND THIS IS-- THIS IS HOW YOU SURVIVE AS

AN ACTRESS.

>> BY THE WAY, DID EVY EVER LEARN ITALIAN?

I>> Stephen: OH, YES, SHE DSHE DID.

SHE TOOK ITALIAN CLASSES.

>> I BAB SAT ON ITALIAN CLASSES NIGHT.

>> Stephen: ALL SHE REMEMBERS I THINK IS MI MARITO.

>> I TRADED OFF WITH MY ROOMMATE DEPENDING ON WHO WAS WORKING IN

THE RESTAURANT-- KARINA WHO IS STILL BESTIE.

GODMOTHER TO MY KIDS.

>> Stephen: HI.

>> HI.

>> Stephen: AND THEN ONE DAY YOU CAME AND YOU SAID, "I GOT A

NEW AGENT!" >> YES.

>> Stephen: HE WANTS ME-- >> TO GO TO L.A.

AND I DID.

>> Stephen: AND WE SAID-- >> BYE.

>> Stephen: THAT POOR THING.

BECAUSE YOU WERE SO NICE-- YOU ARE SO NICE.

YOU'RE NOT FORMERLY NICE.

YOU'RE PRESENT NICE.

>> BY THE WAY-- "YOU WERE SO NICE!"

>> Stephen: WE THOUGHT LOS ANGELES WILL DEVOUR HER.

YOU WERE, LIKE, STRAIGHT FROM WEST VIRGINIA.

>> IT DID, YES TDEVOURED ME.

BUT I'M OKAY.

I'M ALL RIGHT.

BUT I JUST REMEMBER YOUR GORGEOUS LITTLE GIRL.

SHE WAS SUCH A PEANUT.

SHE WAS REALLY SMART.

SHE WAS VERY -- >> Stephen: HE STILL IS.

>> SHE WAS VERY VERBAL AND VERY --

>> Stephen: SHE STILL IS.

>> SHE WAS.

AND SHE WAS PRECOCIOUS AND ADORABLE.

AND I REMEMBER THE TWO OF US, LIKE, GOING INTO YOUR DRAWERS,

AND TRYING ON YOUR CLOTHES.

( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: YOU DON'T HAVE ANY

PHOTOS OF THAT OR ANYTHING, DO YOU?

NO?

SO YOU GO OUT TO L.A., AND WE'RE LIKE, "OKAY, THAT'S IT, WE'LL

NEVER HEAR FROM JENNIFER GARNER AGAIN.

SHE'S VERY TALENTED AND EVERYTHING BUT TOO NICE FOR LOS

ANGELES."

>> I THAT YOU WANT THE SAME THING.

>> Stephen: A FEW YEARS PASSED BY, AND YOU HAD DONE SOME WORK.

I COME OUT OF THE LINCOLN TUNNEL, AND THERE EIGHT STORIES

ON THE SIDE OF A BUILDING ON 42nd STREET IS YOU IN THE

"ALIAS" IN A RED WIG, IN THE GRAY CAT SUIT, LIKE, DOING THIS

THING.

LOOKING YOU KNOW, SUPER SEXY.

AND I PRETTY MUCH DROVE UP ON THE SIDEWALK.

AND WHEN I GOT TO BODEGA TO GET MY COFF THEY MORNING FOR WORK,

IT WAS, LIKE, THE "TV GUIDE" HAD THE SAME PICTURE.

>> ISN'T THAT THE COOLEST?

I MEAN, IMAGINE, THAT MOMENT WHEN THINGS SHIFT FOR YOU LIKE

THAT, WHEN YOU GO FROM, YOU KNOW, BABY SITTING AND

STRUGGLING TO ALL OF A SUDDEN BEING-- THAT WAS REALLY FUN.

>> Stephen: AND EVERYBODY MUST HAVE KNOWN THAT THAT WAS GOING

TO BE A HUGE BREAKOUT ROLE FOR YOU BECAUSE YOU WERE EVERYWHERE.

>> WELL, IT WAS J.J. ABRAMS.

HE KIND OF KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING.

>> Stephen: SO I BUY THE "TV GUIDE" AND I TAKE IT HOME AND I

COVER YOUR NAME ON IT.

YOU HAVE THE RED WING AND THE CAT SUIT.

>> COME ON.

>> Stephen: AND I SHOWED IT TO EVY-- I NEVER TOLD YOU THIS

STORY?

>> NO.

>> Stephen: AND I SHOWED IT TO EVY-- MY WIFE AND I SAID, "GUESS

WHO THAT IS?" SHE SAID, "I DON'T KNOW, SOMEONE

ON 'THE DAILY SHOW."

AND I TOOK MY FINGER OFF AND SHE SAID, "OH, THAT'S JEN."

AND I SAID, "YES."

AND SHE SAID, "SHE WASN'T HOT."

( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )

AND I SAID, "YES, SHE WAS."

( LAUGHTER ) AND SHE SAID, "YOU NEVER SAID

ANYTHING."

AND I SAID, "WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY?

'HAVE YOU NOTICED HOW HOT THE BABY-SITTER ISN'T?"

>> THAT DOESN'T GO OVER WELL.

>> Stephen: DOESN'T GO OVER WELL.

DOES NOT GO OVER WELL.

>> WISE, WISE.

>> Stephen: YOU ARE KNOWN TO BE, LIKE, ONE OF THE MOST

TRUSTED AND MOST LIKABLE PEOPLE IN HOLLYWOOD.

WHAT'S-- I'M NOT SURE WHAT'S HAPPENING RIGHT NOW.

>> I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO POP OUT.

>> Stephen: PEOPLE SORT OF TRUST THE ENDORSEMENTS THAT YOU

DO.

>> THAT'S NICE.

>> Stephen: COULD I ASK YOU A FAVOR AS AN OLD FRIEND?

>> ABSOLUTELY.

>> Stephen: WOULD YOU MIND LOOKING AT THE CAMERA AND

ENDORSING THIS SHOW FOR THE PEOPLE OUT THERE AND JUST

SAYING, "I'M JENNIFER GARNER, AND I THINK YOU MIGHT ENJOY THE

SHOW AND WHAT'S IN YOUR WALLET IN?

>> SURE.

>> Stephen: WHATEVER YOU WANT TO SAY.

>> OKAY, STEPHEN COLBERT IS SOMEONE THAT YOU CAN HAVE FAITH

IN, TO BRING YOU EVENING ENTERTAINMENT THAT YOU WILL

LAUGH AT, LEARN FROM, AND ENJOY.

WELCOME TO THE 'STEPHEN COLBERT SHOW'.

EXCEPT NOW IT'S CALLED... "THE LATE SHOW" WITH STEPHEN

COLBERT."

( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )

>> Stephen: SUPER BOWL RATINGS!

YOU'RE THE BEST.

>> I CHARGE FOR THAT, BY THE WAY.

>> Stephen: YOU HAVE THE NEW FILM CALLED "WAKEFIELD."

>> YES.

>> Stephen: ARE YOU PLAY-- IF I GET THIS RIGHT-- DANA

WAKEFIELD.

>> YES.

>> Stephen: AND YOUR HUSBAND, HOWARD WAKEFIELD IS PLAYED BY--

>> BRYAN CRANSTON!

>> Stephen: BRYAN CRANSTON, ALL RIGHT.

AND WHAT IS IT ABOUT?

IT'S A LITTLE BIT OF AN ODD STORY.

>> IT'S A FASCINATING STORY.

IT'S ALL ABOUT BRYAN CRANSTON'S PERFORMANCE, WHICH IF YOU SAY

YOU DON'T NEED TO HEAR ANYTHING MORE THAN THAT, RIGHT, HE'S SO

AMAZING.

BUT BASICALLY, HE'S A GUY WHO WORKS IN THE CITY, LIVES IN

CONNECTICUT, HE'S ON THE TRAIN HOME ONE NIGHT AND SHE JUST

THINKS, "I CAN'T BEAR TO WALK INTO MY HOUSE AGAIN.

I CAN'T GO BACK INTO THE ROUTINE WITH MY WIFE AND MY TWO

DAUGHTERS.

I CAN'T LISTEN TO THEM TALK ABOUT THE SAME MUNDANE THINGS."

SO HE ENDS UP GOING INTO THE ATTIC OF OUR HOUSE, WHICH IS

ABOVE OUR GARAGE, AND FROM THE WINDOW IN OUR ATTIC, HE CAN LOOK

INTO THE KITCHEN WINDOW OF THE HOUSE, AND HE STARTS WATCHING,

AND HE LIVES UP THERE FAIR YEAR.

>> Stephen: AND YOU DON'T KNOW HE'S UP THERE.

>> WE DON'T KNOW HE'S THERE.

SO HE'S HIDING, HE'S LIVING LIKE A VAGRANT, COMING DOWN AT

NIGHT-- YOU'LL-- YOU KNOW, KIND OF SCROUNGING AROUND THE

NEIGHBORHOOD IN THE GARBAGE.

AND HE-- BUT HE LIVES WATCHING HIS FAMILY.

AND YOU ONLY SEE US THROUGH-- FROM HIS POINT OF VIEW.

SO YOU HARDLY HEAR US TALK.

>> Stephen: BUT NEXT SCENE IS THE SCENE BETWEEN YOU AND BRYAN.

>> YES, BESIDES HERE, BESIDES RIGHT NOW, WHERE YOU WILL SEE US

BEFORE-- IT'S KIND A FLASH BACK TO WHAT OUR RELATIONSHIP WAS

LIKE RIGHT BEFORE HE DECIDE TO BE AN ATTIC LIVER.

>> Stephen: OKAY.

( LAUGHTER ) JIM.

>> I'M SO SICK OF THIS, THIS CONSTANT SURVEILLANCE.

YOU-- >> WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

>> YOU HAVE MUZZLED ME TO THE POINT WHERE I CAN'T CARRY ON A

CONVERSATION WITH OTHER PARENTS.

I BARELY RELATE TO PEOPLE ANYMORE.

>> YOU WERE RELATING TO HIM, WEREN'T YOU?

>> WHAT DO YOU NOT SEE?

I MEAN, DO YOU THINK I'D BE EVEN REMOTELY INCLINED TO START UP

WITH ANYONE GIVEN THE RELATIONSHIP WE HAVE.

ALL I WANT IS TO GET THROUGH THE DAY.

THAT'S WHAT I THINK ABOUT, JUST... GET THROUGH THE DAY.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: VERY TENSE.

THAT'S AN INTENSE SCENE.

>> IT WAS AN INTENSE SCENE.

>> Stephen: DID YOU GUYS DO ANYTHING TO-- DID YOU DO ANY

ACTING EXERCISES?

>> THIS WAS A TINY MOVIE ON A TEENY TINY BUDGET.

AND USUALLY WHERE YOU ARE-- IF YOU'RE DOING SOMETHING AS

INTIMATE AS THIS MOVIE, BECAUSE YOU REALLY HAD TO BELIEVE THIS

MARRIAGE IN ORDER FOR IT TO PLAY-- EVEN THOUGH WE'RE NOT

TOGETHER-- YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE TO REALLY BELIEVE THERE'S A

CONNECTION BETWEEN THESE PEOPLE,ING AND WE DID DHAVE A

LOVE SCENE.

SO YOU HAD TO KIND OF-- THERE WAS AN INTIMACY THING THERE.

AND SO THE DIRECTOR, ROBIN SWICORD, SAID "I LEARNED ABOUT

THIS MODEL THAT WE CAN USE TO KIND OF MAKE INTIMACY HAPPEN

QUICKLY."

NOT WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.

( LAUGHTER ) BUT IT IS VERY INTERESTING AND

UNIQUE, AND I THINK I SHOULD TELL YOU ABOUT IT.

SO WE GOT TOGETHER AT THIS HOUSE, AND BRYAN AND I HAD TO

STAND AND STARE INTO EACH OTHER'S EYES FAIR LONG TIME,

LIKE AN UNCOMFORTABLY LONG TIME.

AND SHE WAS TALKING TO US ABOUT, "IMAGINE THIS PERSON AS A BABY.

IMAGINE THIS PERSONAISE SIX-YEAR-OLD."

SO WE'RE STARING AT EACH OTHER AND WE'RE TRYING NOT TO GIGGLE.

THEN WE HAD TO SIT ON THE FLOOR BACK TO BACK AND RUB BACKS ON

EACH OTHER.

IT'S SO UNCOMFORTABLE.

THEN WE'RE TOUCHING HANDS.

AND THEN SHE HAD HIM REMOVE MY SOCKS AND LOOK AT MY FEET!

AND THEN WE HAD TO STAND NEXT TO EACH OTHER AND SNIFF EACH OTHER.

YOU'RE LOOKING AT ME LIKE IT'S AS STRANGE AS --

>> Stephen: NO, NO, THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.

( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: WELL, IT WAS

LOVELY TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

>> IT WAS SO NICE TO SEE YOU.

>> Stephen: IF I CAN EVER RETURN THE FAVOR, IF YOU NEED

ANY BABY-SITTING.

>> I DO!

>> Stephen: YOU DO?

>> I HAVE 17 CHILDREN.

THAT'S WHAT I FEEL LIKE.

>> Stephen: ARE THEY IN THE CITY WITH YOU?

>> NO.

>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, THEN LET'S GO PARTY.

>> I WOULD LOVE IT.

>> Stephen: EVY SAYS HI.

"WAKEFIELD" IS IN THEATERS TODAY.

JENNIFER GARNER, EVERYBODY.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH COMEDIAN DEMETRI MARTIN.

For more infomation >> Jennifer Garner Uses Her Endorsing Skills For 'The Late Show' - Duration: 10:21.

-------------------------------------------

HANNITY 5/19/17 . Trump News Today , Breaking News Tonight , Democratic UNDER FIRE - Duration: 29:45.

For more infomation >> HANNITY 5/19/17 . Trump News Today , Breaking News Tonight , Democratic UNDER FIRE - Duration: 29:45.

-------------------------------------------

Learn Colors with Spiderman for Children Cartoons for Babies with Superheroes for kids - Duration: 4:43.

Learn Colors with Spiderman for Children Cartoons for Babies with Superheroes for kids

For more infomation >> Learn Colors with Spiderman for Children Cartoons for Babies with Superheroes for kids - Duration: 4:43.

-------------------------------------------

A Trash Video With Low Volume Read Description lol subtitles so funny wowoo - Duration: 0:41.

I like potato famines

I am hungry for pizza at the moment...

hitler is bad

spaghetti with pepper tastes so darn delicious

Yeah, umm

*INTENSE SNIFF!!!*

Ramen Noodle Pie

it very good

please end me

For more infomation >> A Trash Video With Low Volume Read Description lol subtitles so funny wowoo - Duration: 0:41.

-------------------------------------------

Cartoon RED BALL RED ball is a game about a GREEN ball #2 funny videos for kids - Duration: 7:06.

For more infomation >> Cartoon RED BALL RED ball is a game about a GREEN ball #2 funny videos for kids - Duration: 7:06.

-------------------------------------------

ब्लू फिल्म की लत - SIDE EFFECTS & TREATMENT II पोर्न की लत के दुष्प्रभाव और उसका इलाज II - Duration: 5:18.

Rubina is here with a fresh episode of F3 Healthy Life, just for you.

One of our viewer Mr Manish has emailed us from Mumbai.

He has written that recently he had his breakup with his girl friend.

He had living relationship with his girlfriend.

Now a days he's missing her physically and emotionally and due to this

He's watching porn movies and doing ejaculation.

But now he's afraid of, whether he's addicted to porn videos.

And also watching porn videos are right or wrong?

And if he's addicted to it, then what should be done by him?

Manish, just be relax.

What I understand as per your email, due to your recent breakup, you are missing her physically more.

due to this you have made pornography a medium on ejaculation.

Its an temporary phase which will be passed away very easily.

You have to ask yourself that whether actually you are addicted to watching pron videos?

if you watch porn videos 1-2 times in a day

There is nothing wrong about it, in fact its normal . Generally people watch pornography 1-2 times in a day.

But if you are unable to do anything without watching porn videos

Or if thoughts for watching porn videos are roaming in your mind

And due to this if you are unable to do anything or concentrate on anything.

Its understood you are addicted to porn videos which can be very harmful for you.

Secondly, excess of everything is bad

For example overeating also has its bad effects. so if you are addicted to porn videos

Its obvious that it will harm you physically.

Thirdly, every human being has sex tissues, that depends more or less person to person

Those who have more sex tissues, its quite natural such things will attract them like a magnet.

So you have to self analysis that whether you are addicted to porn movies.

Or without watching porn videos, you can work coolly and calmly to any other place.

Whether you can stay stable or not

If you are addicted to pornography, you should do meditation, pranayama for this.

Do anuloma-viloma pranayama, bhrahmri pranayama, This will calm your mind.

This will make your will power strong and will overpower on the thoughts of pornography

So this way, these thoughts will not be able to affect you.

Don't allow your needs over your willpower instead let your willpower overpowering your needs.

If you'll follow this term, this way all these temporary phases will be passed away.

I understand that watching porn videos are not wrong

Do you know that watching porn videos release your stress.

Watching porn videos creates a fantasy in our mind.

Porn videos has so much of creative, normally we all are not that much creative

Not only males but females also likes to watch porn videos.

After watching porn videos, people do experiment in their intercourse and enjoy their activity.

So watching porn is not at all a bad thing but

If you are watching it till a limit, of course it will be beneficial for you.

But if you are exceeding the limit and watching unlimited pornography instead doing any other work

Definitely it will harm you mentally and physically.which is very dangerous for you.

So I would say, watch porn videos in limit and if you think

That you are addicted towards it, do pranayama, meditation

And most importantly, I would advice you to visit any sex specialist dr & discuss your situation.

I'm sure you'll definitely get the solution of your problem.

I hope you must have got the answers to all your queries.

Do like & share my videos on YouTube, Facebook, Whatsapp & Twitter.

Do subscribe our channel, So that you can get more and more health benefits from us.

Take care of the health of yourself and loved ones too.

I will be back again with such effective home remedies , tips & answers to your questions.

Till then take care.

For more infomation >> ब्लू फिल्म की लत - SIDE EFFECTS & TREATMENT II पोर्न की लत के दुष्प्रभाव और उसका इलाज II - Duration: 5:18.

-------------------------------------------

五月天LIFE[人生無限公司]5/19的OT - 憨人 + 感人的話感謝香港 - Duration: 6:03.

For more infomation >> 五月天LIFE[人生無限公司]5/19的OT - 憨人 + 感人的話感謝香港 - Duration: 6:03.

-------------------------------------------

Дизайн интерьера квартиры студии - Duration: 6:27.

For more infomation >> Дизайн интерьера квартиры студии - Duration: 6:27.

-------------------------------------------

Trump's Gone... Party At The White House! - Duration: 3:52.

WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW,"" LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.

HAPPY FRIDAY!

THIS IS A BIG FRIDAY BECAUSE DONALD TRUMP HAS LEFT ON HIS

FIRST OVERSEAS TRIP AS PRESIDENT.

AND I HEAR THERE'S A WHANS THAT WHEN HE RETURNS, HE'LL STILL BE

PRESIDENT.

( LAUGHTER ) AND WITH TRUMP GONE, YOU KNOW

WHAT THAT MEANS-- WE HAVE THE WHOLE COUNTRY TO OURSELVES FOR

THE WEEKEND.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) PARTY AT THE WHITE HOUSE!

PARTY AT THE WHITE HOUSE!

YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW PENCE IS THROWING A RAGER THIS WEEKEND.

( LAUGHTER ) LET'S SEE.

FIRST PLACE TRUMP IS GOING IS --IES GOING TO SAUDI ARABIA FIRS

WHERE HE WANTS TO UNITE THE MUSLIM WORLD WITH A SPEECH ON

RADICAL ISLAM.

( LAUGHTER ) THE IDEA IS TO UNITE OUR ISLAMIC

FRIENDS AGAINST OUR ISLAMIC ENEMIES.

"I LOVE MUSLIMS.

OKAY.

THAT'S WHY I CALL YOU 'RADICAL.' AND I'M HEARING GREAT THINGS

ABOUT THIS MUHAMMED GUY.

I REALLY AM.

I CAN'T WAIT TO MEET HIM.

I'M HAVING DINNER WITH HIM AND FREDERICK DOUGULOUS LAS.

I HEAR THEY'RE BOTH GREAT."

AND I'M SURE THE SPEECH WILL STRIKE JUST THE RIGHT TONE

BECAUSE IT'S BEING DRAFTED BY STEPHEN MILLER, WHO PLAYED A KEY

ROLE IN CREATING THE ADMINISTRATION'S TRAVEL BAN ON

CITIZENS FROM MUSLIM COUNTRIES.

( BOOING ) AND, I'VE JUST BEEN TOLD THE

SPEECH HAS BEEN BLOCKED BY A FEDERAL JUDGE.

OH, WELL.

SO CLOSE!

AFTER THE PRESIDENT'S DONE UNITING THE MUSLIM WORLD WITH

ONE SPEECH, IT'S OFF TO ISRAEL TO SMOOTH OVER THAT LITTLE

KERFUFFLE WITH THE PALESTINIANS.

SHOULD BE A BREEZE.

HE'S GOT THIS ONE IN THE BAG.

WE ALL REMEMBER HOW CONFIDENT MIDEAST CONFLICT.

>> LET'S SEE IF WE CAN FIND THE SOLUTION.

IT'S, UH, SOMETHING THAT I THINK IS, FRANKLY, UH, MAYBE NOT AS

DIFFICULT AS PEOPLE HAVE THOUGHT OVER THE YEARS.

>> Stephen: OBVIOUSLY, NOT AS DIFFICULT.

"HAVE YOU TRIED UNPLUGGING THE WEST BANK AND PLUGGING IT BACK

IN?

JUST JIGGLE IT.

JUST JIGGLE THE GAZA STRIP.

ONE OF THESE."

BUT THE ISRAELI VISIT MIGHT GET A LITTLE TENSE AT TIMES, TOO,

SINCE IT CAME OUT THIS WEEK THAT ISRAEL IS THE SOURCE OF THE

SECRET INTELLIGENCE TRUMP GAVE TO THE RUSSIANS.

BUT I'M SURE IT'LL BE FINE.

IT'S NOT LIKE PEOPLE OVER THERE HOLD GRUDGES FOR THOUSANDS OF

YEARS.

( LAUGHTER ) LET'S SEE, AFTER ISRAEL-- OH,

THIS IS FUN-- HE'S OFF TO MEET THE POPE.

AND I THINK TRUMP WILL LIKE THE VATICAN.

IT HAS ALMOST AS MUCH GOLD FURNITURE AS HIS APARTMENT.

( LAUGHTER ) AND NO QUESTION, THE STAKES OF

THIS TRIP ARE HIGH.

ACCORDING TO ONE OFFICIAL INVOLVED IN THE PLANNING, "THIS

HAS TO GO WELL.

THERE'S NOT A LOT OF ROOM TO FAIL."

HEY, TRUMP HAS PROVEN HE DOESN'T NEED MUCH ROOM TO FAIL, JUST 140

CHARACTERS.

SEEMS TO DO IT.

( APPLAUSE ) TO MAKE SURE TRUMP READS HIS

DAILY BRIEFINGS FOR THIS TRIP, SOURCES SAY THAT FOR THIS TRIP,

NATIONAL SECURITY COUNCIL OFFICIALS HAVE STRATEGICALLY

INCLUDED TRUMP'S NAME IN "AS MANY PARAGRAPHS AS WE CAN

BECAUSE HE KEEPS READING IF HE'S MENTIONED."

( LAUGHTER ) THAT IS A TRUE STORY.

APPARENTLY, THE ONLY THING THAT CAN OVERCOME TRUMP'S SHORT

ATTENTION SPAN IS HIS CRIPPLING NARCISSISM.

BUT, OF COURSE, IF THEY WANT HIM TO UNDERSTAND THAT, THEY'LL HAVE

TO CALL IT HIS CRIPPLING TRUMPICISM.

For more infomation >> Trump's Gone... Party At The White House! - Duration: 3:52.

-------------------------------------------

5/19/17 4:50 PM (225-375 Market Street) - Duration: 10:21.

For more infomation >> 5/19/17 4:50 PM (225-375 Market Street) - Duration: 10:21.

-------------------------------------------

Секреты счастья: Фен Шуй квартиры для любви, счастливой жизни и карьерного роста в год Петуха - Duration: 2:17.

For more infomation >> Секреты счастья: Фен Шуй квартиры для любви, счастливой жизни и карьерного роста в год Петуха - Duration: 2:17.

-------------------------------------------

Will You Go Out With Me ♡ Wheesun - Duration: 5:47.

Wheein ah~

Happy birthday

Really..

23 years old?

For growing up so pretty

and well like this,

Thank you so much

I love you Wheein ah~

What did you do to me?

I'm only thinking about you

What do I do?

So frustrating

What do I do?

Hey baby baby,

Will you go out with me?

Stop playing games

What do I do?

My shocked heart

Keeps pounding

What's wrong with me?

My face grows red whenever I see you

But still, I like you,

What do I do?

S: To Wheein..

S: I've been seriously upset with her only once

S: I do remember,

because I remember everything when I get upset

W: In the dorm..?

S: Do you remember?

S: I honestly felt so sorry thinking back on that

S: I felt so sorry, but it was awkward to bring it up later

W: So you texted

(What did you do to me?)

W: Why are you crying?

I'm only thinking about you

What do I do?

So frustrating

What do I do?

Hey baby baby,

Will you go out with me?

Stop playing games

What do I do?

My shocked heart

Keeps pounding

Hey you, come here

Why are you being so frustrating?

She's just a friend from the next classroom?

You better not smile at her

I'm on my way to see you

Why am I so nervous?

I wanna say, I want you

I miss you even more today

Oh my oh my oh my

What did you do to me?

Oh my oh my oh my

I'm only thinking about you

What do I do?

So frustrating

What do I do?

Hey baby baby,

Will you go out with me?

Stop playing games

What do I do?

My shocked heart

Keeps pounding

What's wrong with me?

My face grows red whenever I see you

But still, I like you,

What do I do?

I've fallen for you

Wanna go out with me?

It keeps tickling

Today is Day 1

All these guys keep staring at me

Everyone sees me but you

I'm worried, confess to me once more

Like the clouds, this day is filled with you

Come to me

I want you to poke me

You have to

Oh my oh my oh my

My head is spinning

Oh my oh my oh my

Lingering around you

What do I do?

So frustrating

What do I do?

Hey baby baby,

Will you go out with me?

Stop playing games

What do I do?

My shocked heart

Keeps pounding

What's wrong with me?

My face grows red whenever I see you

But still, I like you,

What do I do?

My days are always

Filled with you

Look at my heart

I'll give it all to you

Please accept my heart

Hey baby baby,

Will you go out with me?

Stop playing games

What do I do?

My shocked heart

Keeps pounding

What's wrong with me?

My face grows red whenever I see you

But still, I like you,

What do I do?

For more infomation >> Will You Go Out With Me ♡ Wheesun - Duration: 5:47.

-------------------------------------------

unknown - Duration: 2:10.

For more infomation >> unknown - Duration: 2:10.

-------------------------------------------

TOP 5 MILITARY OPTIONS U.S HAS TO DETER OR CRIPPLE NORTH KOREAN NUKES - Duration: 6:37.

American president Donald Trump, recently told CBS's John Dickerson, "North Korean

leader Kim Jong Un will develop a better missile delivery system for its small but growing

stockpile of nuclear weapons."

Trump vowed, "And if that happens, we can't allow it to happen."

In this video, Defense Updates analyzes the military options that US have which can deter

or cripple North Korean nuclear options.

Viewers should note that first 3 options are defensive in nature and are designed to act as deterrence.

The last 2 are aggressive in nature, and cripple North Korea's nuclear assets.

Lets get started.

The Aegis Ballistic Missile Defense System is a United States Department of Defense (DoD)

program, developed to provide missile defense against short to intermediate-range ballistic

missiles.

Aegis BMD is designed to intercept ballistic missiles post-boost phase and prior to reentry.

It enables warships to shoot down enemy ballistic missiles by expanding the Aegis Combat System

with the addition of the AN SPY-1 radar and Standard missile technologies.

Aegis BMD-equipped vessels can transmit their target detection information to other systems

and, if needed, engage potential threats using either the SM-2 or SM-3 missile.

SM-3 missile having range of 2,500 km & speed of Mach 10.2

will be particularly effective in this scenario.

5 Ticonderoga class cruisers and 25 Arleigh Burke class destroyers are known to be equipped

with this system.

Some of these vessels are currently loitering near the Korean waters.

Like U.S Carl Vinson is accompanied by the USS Wayne E Meyer, an Arleigh Burke-class

guided-missile destroyer, as part of the carrier strike group.

US can deploy more of these vessels in the Korean waters to deter North Korea.

Terminal High Altitude Area Defense, THAAD, is an anti-ballistic missile system, which

is designed to shoot down short, medium, and intermediate range ballistic missiles in their

terminal phase.

THAAD uses a hit-to-kill approach that is the missile carries no warhead, but relies

on the kinetic energy of impact to destroy the incoming missile.

A THAAD battery consists of at least 6 launcher vehicles, each equipped with eight missiles,

with 2 mobile Tactical Operations Centers (TOCs) and the AN TPY-2 Ground-Based Radar (GBR).

The THAAD Radar is an X Band active electronically scanned array Radar developed and built by Raytheon.

It has an Operational range of around 200 km.

The missile has a speed of 8.24 Mach or 2.8 km/s.

THAAD has been recently made operational and is deployed in South Korea.

Stepping up the game US could deploy THAAD in Japan too.

To understand this strategy, let us look back into the history.

In 1978, NATO asked the United States to deploy missiles in Europe to counter the deployment

of Soviet intermediate range, mobile SS 20 nuclear missiles.

As per that, US deployed Pershing II missiles in November 1983.

According to Wallace Gregson, retired lieutenant general who served as the assistant secretary

of defense for Asian and Pacific security affairs in the Obama administration,

"The reintroduction of nuclear weapons to Japan and South Korea will emphasize that

US is determined to fully deter any North Korean attack and, should deterrence fail,

that it would result in a prompt and overwhelming response."

The United States could launch Tomahawk cruise missiles to target missile launch platforms

& nuclear facilities.

The Tomahawk is a long-range, all-weather, subsonic missile that is used for land-based attacks.

They are generally launched from navy surface ships or submarines.

This makes them apt for use for this purpose as US already has decent number of platforms

in the vicinity that can launch Tomahawk missile.

At 5.56 m long without a booster, traveling at 880 km per hour, it is capable of delivering

more than 450 kilograms of conventional explosives.

It has a long range of 1200 to 2500 km, enabling them to be launched from far off.

This is the least risky option since it doesn't involve traversing North Korean territory,

and would resemble Trump's strikes against the Syrian military for using chemical weapons.

With enough Tomahawks, US will be able to takeout all the relevant targets.

North Koreans have a dense and interlocked air defense network, but the force is obsolete

and largely incapable of adequately defending against or even detecting full-spectrum stealth

aircraft.

The best tools the US could use against North Korea would be aircraft like the F-22, F 35

and the B-2 bomber.

The US would gradually deploy stealth aircraft at bases near North Korea in ways that avoid

provoking North Korean suspicions.

At an opportune time, the aircrafts could carry out precision strike catching the North

Korean military off guard.

The targets would include nuclear reactors, missile-production facilities, and launching

pads for ballistic missiles.

A coordinated well-planned strike, could take out North Korean nuclear infrastructure within hours.

For more infomation >> TOP 5 MILITARY OPTIONS U.S HAS TO DETER OR CRIPPLE NORTH KOREAN NUKES - Duration: 6:37.

-------------------------------------------

Tuck Buckford Willingly Issues A Forced Apology - Duration: 7:32.

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.

THAT'S THE BEST BAND ON TELEVISION RIGHT THERE, BAR

NONE.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Jon: YEAH.

>> Stephen: JON, I'M SUPER EXCITED ABOUT OUR FRIEND

JENNIFER GARNER COMING OUT HERE IN JUST A MINUTE.

>> Jon: OH, YES, INDEED.

THAT'S GOING TO BE FUN.

>> Stephen: DID I EVER TELL, LOVELY, TALENTED, FANTASTIC OF

COURSE JUST THE NICEST PERSON.

YOU KNOW HOW I KNOW THIS?

SHE WAS-- WHEN MY WIFE AND I WERE YOUNG AND HAD OUR FIRST

BABY, OUR DAUGHTER, SHE WAS OUR BABY-SITTER.

>> Jon: WOW.

>> Stephen: YEAH.

>> Jon: REALLY?

>> Stephen: WE'LL GET INTO OLD-TIME TALK SO OF SO STICK

AROUND FOR THAT.

YEAH, THERE ARE SOME STORIES.

YOU KNOW, FOLKS, I LIKE TO GIVE YOU GOOD NEWS WHEN I CAN.

AND I'M SAD TO SAY THERE'S SOME BAD NEWS FOR RADIO

HOST AND SHRIEKING FUNNEL CAKE, ALEX JONES.

( LAUGHTER ) FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE

UNFAMILIAR WITH JONES'S...

WORK, THIS IS IT: >> I'M GONNA TELL ME WHAT I'LL

NASTY I GET.

MAN, I JUST WISH THAT, UH-- (GROWLING)

YEAH!

SICK OF PEOPLE PUSHING THEIR GUILT ON ME WHEN I HADN'T DONE

NOTHING TO YOU, YOU FILTH, PROJECTING ONTO ME ALL YOUR SICK

FANTASIES OF CONTROL, YOU GARBAGE!

WE'RE GONNA ORGANIZE, HUMANITY'S GONNA COME TOGETHER.

AHHHHHHHHHH!

WE'RE COMING FOR YOU, GLOBALISTS!

WE'RE COMING FOR YA!

COMING FOR YA!

THEY WANT TO SHATTER YOUR MIND, TALKING ABOUT JUSTIN BIEBER!

IT'S PURE EVIL!

( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: SPOKEN LIKE A MAN

WHO HAS BEEN FREE-BASING PURE BIEBER.

ANYWAY, HE'S A TERRIBLE PERSON WHO LIES FOR A LIVING.

AND FOR THE FIRST TIME THIS WEEK, JONES HAD TO ANSWER FOR

ONE OF HIS MAD RAMBLINGS BECAUSE HE JUST SETTLED A DEFAMATION

LAWSUIT FILED AGAINST HIM BY GREEK YOGURT MANUFACTURER

CHOBANI.

WHICH EXPLAINS THEIR NEW FLAVOR: CASH ON THE BOTTOM.

( LAUGHTER ) CHOBANI SUED HIS ASS, AND HIS

COMPANY, INFOWARS, FOR SPREADING THE

FALSE STORY THAT THEY IMPORTED MIGRANT RAPISTS AND SPREAD

TUBERCULOSIS.

THAT'S RIDICULOUS.

THAT'S YOPLAIT'S GAME.

ONE OF THE TERMS OF JONES' SETTLEMENT IS THAT HE WAS FORCED

TO APOLOGIZE TO CHOBANI.

SO HE PUT ON HIS SUNDAY BEST AND USED HIS MOST HUMBLE GROWL TO

SAY THIS: >> DURING THE WEEK OF APRIL 10,

2017, CERTAIN STATEMENTS WERE MADE ON THE INFOWARS TWITTER

FEED AND YOUTUBE CHANNEL REGARDING CHOBANI L.L.C. THAT I

NOW UNDERSTAND TO BE WRONG.

THE TWEETS AND VIDEO HAVE NOW BEEN RETRACTED AND WILL NOT BE

REPOSTED.

ON BEHALF OF INFOWARS, I REGRET THAT WE MISCHARACTERIZED

CHOBANI, ITS EMPLOYEES, AND THE PEOPLE OF TWIN FALLS, IDAHO, THE

WAY WE DID.

>> Stephen: THAT WAS ONE OF THE MOST SINCERE APOLOGIES EVER TO

HAVE BEEN READ OFF THE BACK OF A NAPKIN.

BUT I UNDERSTAND WHAT ALEX IS GOING THROUGH BECAUSE, RECENTLY,

UNDER THREAT OF LAWSUIT, MY RIGHT-WING SATIRICAL CHARACTER,

TUCK BUCKFORD, ALSO HAD TO APOLOGIZE FOR SOME SLANDEROUS

CLAIMS HE MADE.

AND I BELIEVE WE HAVE THE COURT-ORDERED VIDEO.

>> THAT, BRAIN FIGHTERS IS HOW THE LESBIAN CONSPIRACY HAS

MAINTAINED ITS VICE GRIP ON OUR NATION.

IT'S HOW THEY REPRODUCE, OKAY.

IT'S THEIR DEMON SEED.

NOW, A SINCERE, FORCED APOLOGY.

( LAUGHTER ) DURING THE PERIOD OF MY ENTIRE

CAREER, CERTAIN STATEMENTS WERE MADE ON THE BRAIN FIGHT TWITTER

FEED YOUTUBE PAGE, COMPANY SKYWRITER, AND ALSO FROM MY

ENORMOUS MAN MOUTH WITH ITS MAN WORDS.

AND I'M NOW LEGALLY REQUIRED TO UNDERSTAND THOSE WORDS TO BE

WRONG.

SO I WILL NOW OFF THE ISSUE OF THE FOLLOWING CORRECTIONS.

I REGRET THAT I MISCHARACTERIZED VIRGIN AIRLINES.

I DO KNOW NOW THAT THEY DO NOT USE THEIR PLANES TO SPRAY CLOUDS

OF VIAGRA ON TO OUR NATION'S PLAYGROUNDS TO INCITE AN

ANTIGOVERNMENT REVOLUTION OF UNSTOPPABLE MIDDLE SCHOOL SEX

WARRIORS.

MY BAD.

IN ADDITION, I HAVE LEARNED THAT FRUIT BY THE FOOT IS NOT MADE

OUT OF REPTILIAN SKIN SHED BY GEORGE SOROS.

BUT I STAND BY THE IDEA THAT GEORGE SOROS' SKIN WOULD BE A

DELICIOUS AND NUTRITIOUS TREAT.

( LAUGHTER ) ACTOR JEFF GOLDBLUM IS NOT A

ROBOT CONTROLLED BY ISLAMIC FIELDMICE.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE RELIGION OF THOSE FIELDMICE IS.

MY APOLOGIES.

( LAUGHTER ) I ALSO SEE NOW, FOR THE FIRST

TIME, THAT WISE IS NOT CODING THE INSIDE OF ITS POTATO CHIP

BAGS WITH AN EMASCULATING CHEMICAL POLYMER IN AN ATTEMPT

TO REDUCE OUR GENITALS INTO HAIRLESS MOUNDS EASILY

CONTROLLED BY PSYCHIC, HUMA ABEDIN.

NICE TRUE, HUMA.

THE CHICAGO BULLS DO NOT SPEND THEIR FREE TIME SLAM-DUNKING

NEWBORN BABIES INTO VACCINATION MACHINES.

THE FACT THAT THE SKY IS BLUE AND THAT CLOUDS ARE WHITE IS NOT

AN ATTEMPT BY THE ISRAELY MOSSAD TO TAKE OVER HEAVEN AND CONVERT

JESUS BACK TO JUDAISM.

STAY STRONG, J.C ( LAUGHTER )

THE MOVIE "MARLEY AND ME" IS NOT FILLED WITH SATANIC IMAGERY

MEANT TO MAKE WHITE COUPLES OF REPRODUCTIVE AGE THINK THAT

THEY'RE GOLDEN RETRIEVERS SO THEY WILL HAVE THEMSELVES SPADE

AND NEUTERED.

AND I AM ESPECIALLY SORRY TO THE GOOD PEOPLE AT BREAKSTONE

COTTAGE CHEESE, OKAY.

I SAID THAT THEY WERE COLLUDING WITH THE U.S. GEOLOGICAL SURVEY

TO CONCEAL LISTENING DEVICES AT THE BOTTOM OF EACH AND EVERY

DELICIOUS TUB, OKAY.

BUT AS I HAVE LEARNED, AS YOU CAN SEE, THERE IS NOTHING IN

HERE.

THERE'S NO LISTENING DEVICE.

JUST SWEET-- MMM-- CREAMY KURDS, OKAY.

ALSO, IN CASE OF PERMANENT WINDBURN.

IT MAKES THE MOST AMAZING, MOST SOOTHING SHAVING CREAM YOU CAN

IMAGINE.

LOOK AT THAT.

LIKE SHAVING A BABY.

IF YOU'RE GOING TO SHAVE YOUR BABY-- WHICH I HIGHLY RECOMMEND

RM-- DO NOT USE ANYTHING BY THE JERKINS CORPORATION, JERKINS HAS

A LISTENING DEVICE RIGHT IN THE PUMP HANDLE AND THE ONLY WAY TO

DESTROY THE LISTENING DEVICE IS WITH YOUR STOMACH ENZYMES.

WOOOOO!

I CAN SEE FOREVER!

( LAUGHTER ) BRAIN FIGHT, BROUGHT TO YOU BY

CASPER-- NOT THE INTERNET MATTRESS COMPANY.

I'M TALKING ABOUT THE ADOLESCENT GHOST YOU CAN SUMMON TO PROTECT

YOUR DAUGHTER FROM IMMIGRANT BOYFRIENDS.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: THANK YOU, TUCK.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH JENNIFER GARNER.

For more infomation >> Tuck Buckford Willingly Issues A Forced Apology - Duration: 7:32.

-------------------------------------------

Paula Poundstone: Extended Interview - Duration: 11:05.

♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )

HEY, EVERYBODY, WELCOME BACK.

MY NEXT GUEST IS A FANTASTIC STAND-UP COMEDIAN AND REGULAR

PANELIST ON "WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME."

PLEASE WELCOME, PAULA POUNDSTONE!

♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )

COME ON UP.

♪ ♪ ♪ >> HEY!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

>> Stephen: WELL, AS I SAID-- >> THANK YOU.

>> Stephen: I'VE BEEN A FAN-- I'VE BEEN A FAN FOREVER.

>> WELL, THANK YOU SO MUCH.

THAT'S NICE TO HEAR.

>> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I SAW YOU ON DAVE

OVER THE YEARS.

>> WELL, I DON'T KNOW, EITHER.

>> Stephen: YOU'VE ALSO BEEN ON "WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME,"

THE GREAT.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

>> THANK YOU.

>> Stephen: PUBLIC RADIO SHOW WHICH I LISTEN TO EVERY WEEK,

NEVER MISS IT.

YOU'VE BEEN OVER 200 TIMES, I THINK.

>> YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I'VE BEEN ON THE

SHOW.

>> Stephen: YOU DON'T?

>> NO, I DON'T.

>> Stephen: WE HAVE A RESEARCH DEPARTMENT AND IT SAYS 201

TIMES.

THAT'S OVER 200.

>> WHAT I DO KNOW, THERE'S A LOVELY MAN NAMED LYNN FOM, WHO

KEEPS THE STATS.

HE'S JUST A GUY.

HE'S NOT HIRED BY THE SHOW.

HE JUST-- HE'S A GUY ON TWITTER, AND HE KEEPS THE STATS.

AND I BELIEVE I'M CORRECT IN SAYING THEY HOLD THE RECORD FOR

LOSSES ON "WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME."

>> Stephen: OKAY.

YOU'RE THE LEAST-INFORMED PANELIST ON "WAIT WAIT... DON'T

TELL ME."

>> HERE'S THE THING.

IT WOULD BE A GREAT JOB IF THE OTHERS DIDN'T CHEAT, BUT THEY DO

CHEAT.

ROX 18 ROBERTS USUALLY WINS BUT HER ANSWERS ARE AFGHANISTAN

OTHER AFGHANISTAN, AND LEMURS DOWN HIS PANTS.

>> Stephen: HOW DO YOU PREP?

TO BE JUST UNINFORMED ENOUGH TO LOSE, HOW DO YOU PREP?

>> IT'S NOT EASY.

I HAVE TO REMOVE THE KNOWLEDGE THAT I GO IN WITH.

( LAUGHTER ) AND I DO THAT BY READING-- I'M

ACTUALLY EMBARRASSED TO SAY WHAT I READ EYE READ THE "NEW YORK

POST" WHICH NORMALLY -- >> Stephen: THAT WILL TAKE IT

RIGHT OUT OF YOUR BRAIN.

>> I'M TELLING YOU, AS SOON AS I CAN GET IT INTO THE RECYCLE, I

DO.

THE REASON I USE IT IS BECAUSE I CAN CARRY IT ON THE AIRPLANE AND

IT OPENS OUT LIKE THIS.

AND I CAN CONTROL IT.

LIKE, I'VE RECENTLY STARTED READING "THE NEW YORK TIMES,"

AND IT'S JUST TOO BIG FOR ME!

I OPEN IT ON THE AIRPLANE AND IT'S LIKE AN "I LOVE LUCY"

THING.

IT GOES INTO THE AISLES.

IT BLOCKS IT'S PILOT COMES ON AND SAYS, "PUT THAT NEWSPAPER

AWAY."

IT JUST -- >> Stephen: YOU GET, LIKE, AN

iPAD.

YOU CAN READ IT ON YOUR PHONE NOW OR LIKE AN iPAD--

>> DON'T BELIEVE IN IT.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) IT'S NOT GOOD FOR YOU!

>> Stephen: WELL, OKAY.

LET'S TALK ABOUT A GOOD PROJECT YOU HAVE HERE.

IT'S CALLED "THE TOTALLY UNSCIENTIFIC STUDY OF THE SEARCH

FOR HUMAN HAPPINESS."

>> CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?

JUST BEFORE YOU DID THAT, THERE WAS, LIKE, A PIANO CHORD.

WAS THAT SOME SORT OF RIEWSKY SIGNAL YOU'RE GIVING YOURSELF

THERE?

WHAT IS THAT?

>> Stephen: JON, WHY DID YOU PLAY THAT PIANO CHORD?

>> Jon: I FELT LIKE IT.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> JON, YOU COME FROM JAZZ,

DON'T YOU?

>> Jon: YES.

>> YEAH.

THAT'S THING WITH THE JAZZ MUSICIAN.

THEY'LL JUST FEEL IT AND DO IT.

DOESN'T MATTER WHEN.

>> Stephen: THAT'S TRUE.

>> THEY'LL JUST PICK UP A THING AND BLOW INTO IT.

( LAUGHTER ) WEREN'T YOU BLOWING INTO, LIKE,

A KEYBOARD THING BEFORE?

>> Jon: YEAH, YEAH, IT'S LEAK A HARMONICA KEYBOARD THING.

>> OH, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BLOW!

I JUST PICTURED YOUR MOM GOING, "PUT THAT DOWN!

THAT'S A KEYBOARD!" ( LAUGHTER ).

>> Stephen: HE'S ALLOWED TO.

>> YOU PROBABLY HYPERVENTILATED BLOWING IN IT TO THE PIANO WHEN

YOU WERE A KID.

STOP BLOWING-- >> Jon: IT DON'T HAVE A HOLE

THEY CAN GET TO, TO BLOW INTO IT.

OTHERWISE, I'D DO THAT, TOO.

>> YOU WERE A LITTLE BOY.

YOU COULD HAVE DRILLED ONE.

THAT'S WHAT KIDS DO.

"MOM I DRILLED A HOLE IN THE PIANO SO I COULD BLOW IT!"

SORRY.

>> Stephen: GETTING BACK TO THE BOOK.

( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )

ANYTHING ULTIMATE TO SAY-- >> I DO, I DO.

>> Stephen: WHAT IS YOUR UNSCIENTIFIC SEARCH FOR

HAPPINESS AND WHY DO YOU NEED TO DO ONE?

>> WELL, BECAUSE FOR SCIENCE, FOR MANKIND.

EVERY CHAPTER IN MY BOOK IS A DIFFERENT EXPERIMENT DOING

SOMETHING THAT I OR OTHER PEOPLE THOUGHT WOULD MAKE ME HAPPY.

AND EACH CHAPTER IS WRITTEN AS A SCIENCE EXPERIMENT.

THERE'S THE HYPOTHESIS AND THE CONDITIOCONDITIONS AND VARIABLES

ON AND ON.

BUT THE QUESTION FOR ME-- HOPEFULLY THE FUNNIEST FIELD

NOTES EVER RIN BECAUSE IT'S NUMBER ONE JOB IS TO BE FUNNY.

BUT THE QUESTION FOR ME WASN'T WEATHER DOING SOMETHING WOULD BE

ENJOYABLE, BUT RATHER WHAT COULD I DO THAT WOULD GIVE ME A

LASTING UMBRELLA, IF YOU WILL, FOR THE INEVITABLE RAINS OF

ONE'S REGULAR LIFE.

SO THE ANALYSIS SECTION OF EVERY CHAPTER IS THE STORY OF ME AND

MY REGULAR LIFE-- RAISING MY KIDS IN A HOUSE FULL OF ANIMALS

AND BEING A STAND-UP COMIC FOR A LIVING-- WHICH I JUST FOUND OUT

IS ONE OF THE LOW POINTS OF SHOW BIZ.

>> Stephen: COMEDY IS JUST NOT RESPECTED.

>> IT CAME TO ME IN THE DRESSING ROOM.

I WAS ALL EXCITED ABOUT MY JOB, AND THEN I FOUND OUT, BOTTOM OF

THE BARREL!

( LAUGHTER ) SOMEWHERE UNDERNEATH THE YOGURT.

( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )

>> Stephen: WE'VE GOT TO GO, UNFORTUNATELY.

WE HAVE TO DO THE THING.

>> WE HAVE TO GO-- USUALLY WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO GO DIDN'T

DOESN'T HE PLAY?

DOESN'T HE BLOW INTO A BANJO OR SOMETHING WHEN IT'S TIME TO GO

NCHTD HE ONLY PLAYS WHEN HE FEELS LIKE IT.

>> THAT'S THE WEIRDEST-- YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN HE'S GOING TO DO

A CHORD.

>> Stephen: NO, AND I LOVE IT.

IT ALWAYS FITS IN MY OPINION.

>> Jon: THAT'S WHY I GET PAID.

>> THAT'S WHY HE GETS PAID.

HE GETS PAID BY THE NOTES SO HE JUST KEEPS SLIPPING IN NOTES.

>> Stephen: "THE TOTALLY UNSCIENTIFIC STUDY OF THE SEARCH

FOR HUMAN HAPPINESS" IS AVAILABLE NOW.

PAULA POUNDSTONE, EVERYBODY.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THANK YOU, PAULA.

For more infomation >> Paula Poundstone: Extended Interview - Duration: 11:05.

-------------------------------------------

HOW TO KNOW THE VERSION OF YOUR BIOS OR UEFI FROM WINDOWS? - Duration: 2:46.

For more infomation >> HOW TO KNOW THE VERSION OF YOUR BIOS OR UEFI FROM WINDOWS? - Duration: 2:46.